Losing What We Never Had
by elmjuniper
Summary: After 2,5 years while recovering from her death and racing against time to gather a group of deadly companions Rue finds herself torn between the two women she loves. A choice has to be made, but who will it be? FEMSLASH Shepard/Liara, Shepard/Miranda
1. Prologue

**DISCLAIMER: **Mass effect and everything you recognize from it belongs to BioWare, I'm just a total sucker for the game and its lovely ladies.

**AN: **This is the beginning of an epic story where we get to follow Shepard as she makes one of the most important choices in her personal life along the events in Mass Effect 2. I'm not generally known to stick to the games and the dialogues in them, I prefer making up my own. Also this has got **loads **of femslash in it. If you do not like then... you really should try to! ;)

I know the first post is **very **short, but to be fair it's only a prologue. ;)

Please read and review, it's always nice to know if people are reading your work and what they think. Love it? Hate it? Did I miss something? Just make my day. And the list goes on... ;) Anyway, here goes! Oh and btw, first sci-fi fic ever_... _be gentle!

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_I knew she was never really mine, that one day she would slip away from me. I always knew I would lose her. If not to the Reapers, then to the Normandy, maybe even to her duty as a spectre, the whole of the galaxy depending on her. But most of all I feared losing her to someone else. Not to just someone. To her._

**PROLOGUE**

SHE THOUGHT HER VOICE MIGHT crack, or get stuck in her throat. Fail her. That her shaking knees would not carry her weight any more. Fold beneath her.

"I'm sorry..."

Forcing herself to speak she spoke with as much calmness she could muster. "Don't worry Shepard, I... understand." Looking across the commander's shoulder she took a deep breath. "You should go, she's waiting..."

Her voice broke then and she covered her mouth with her soft, small hand to muffle an involuntary sob. Rue moved towards her, but she withdrew quickly waving her hands dismissively at the commander, clearing her throat. "No, don't... mind me. I'm fine, I just... I'm tired that's all."

Rue frowned, her blood-red hair falling stubbornly in her face. "Are you sure?"

She nodded numbly. "I'll see you around commander. I... hope the two of you find happiness." Sitting back into her chair behind her large desk she stared indifferently at the commander who nodded before retreating from her spacious office. The metal doors slid and closed with a faint hiss behind the commander as she left.

She wanted to call after the commander, beg her to stay, plead for Rue to return the heart she had given so solely to her. But she didn't. She was far too proud for that. Instead she picked up the electronic dossier that lay on the desk before her. She had turned it off when Rue had come to speak to her, but now she switched it on again. The blue screen flickered at her and her vision blurred with hot tears falling from her eyes landing with graceful splashes on the small screen in her hand.

_Patient status: Pregnant._


	2. Changes

**AN. **A huge, big, enormous thanks to every single one of you who has taken the time of your day to read, subscribe, fave, and review this story. I'm very happy to see that quite a few of you seem to really like it.

So, I hope this chapter sort of cleared up some of the questions (not all of them I hope) from the prologue. To be honest, I wanted readers to read the prologue and be like, "What is going on?" which obviously I succeeded with. :D

Ok, let's answer some of the questions asked in the reviews.

**Is this Miranda's POV and is Liara pregnant?** - That my dear readers is for me to know and for you to figure out while reading the story. ;)

**Does this perhaps take place after LotSB? If not, and it's some time during ME2, what about the 2 years of Shepard's rebuilding?** - The story is set during ME2. Prologue is obviously set after Rue has made her choice. The two years during Shepard's rebuilding will only be depicted in some chapter, though not in detail. This story focuses on Shepard's dilemma of who to choose. Liara or Miranda?

I hope you all like the update, please read and review. Also, please excuse any grammatical errors, typos, or misspellings, I still have not found a beta-reader that lasts. :P

Till next time!

~elmjuniper

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_I am no one special, not once did I believe I would have a hand in saving the galaxy. I was told I was great, yes. But I never believed it, not really, and I never liked trying to live up to the expectations of others. Perhaps they were all right when they said that I rebelled when I left. In a way I did, at the same time as I didn't. Still here I am. I thought I would stand by her side when the moment comes, now I'm not so sure any more, but I'm getting ahead of myself. This isn't how it started. No, it started a long time ago._

**CHANGES**

RUE SHEPARD EYED HER NEW crew sighing inwardly. There was the informant and director of the Lazarus project, Miranda. The loyal femme fatale who put all her faith in the organisation she was working for. For some strange reason Miranda seemed to disliked her very strongly despite the fact that she had dedicated the last two years of her life to make sure Rue was put back together the same way she was before she managed to get herself blown up, tossed into space, the rip in her air tank exposing her to extreme vacuum, and sub-zero degrees, turning her lunges into ice. So what was it that made the informant dislike her so?

The commander's eyes trailed the grey lining of the large table until they rested on Jacob. He was leaning into his chair, flicking a pen between his fingers looking as relaxed as ever. He seemed to be Miranda's opposite. Miranda showed no emotion, and wore a cold mask most of the time, her whole appearance screaming for everyone to 'Stay. Away.'. Jacob on the other hand was the idealist, who seemed to – much like Shepard herself – be able to advice both his feelings and logic in whatever situation arose and from what little she knew about this former alliance soldier, she liked.

Both Miranda and Jacob were more than good on the field, in fact they were both strong soldiers with great battle skills and Rue had no doubt they could handle themselves, but they weren't... the same as the others. It had been different on the Normandy, the old, original Normandy. At first the tension between the humans and aliens had been somewhat delicate, but they lived through so much, too much, saw things others didn't even see in their worst nightmares, and it brought them together, increased crew morale. Even gunnery chief Williams had put aside her blatant dislike of the aliens and when they faced the final battle against Saren and the Sovereign they stood united as one, strong crew. But those days were gone, and Shepard was far too experienced to be feeling like this. She had changed units several times, why was this any different? It shouldn't be, besides Joker had joined Cerberus and was still her pilot and this – Miranda and Jacob – was the only team she had until... Her gaze fell on the dossiers before her – the Illusive Man's suggestions for companions. She didn't like the feeling of being manipulated by this Cerberus group, although she knew she didn't have much of a choice. Surely the Illusive Man had said it was up to her to decided whether she wanted to work for Cerberus or not. She snorted. No matter what the Illusive Man said, she knew that with the fortune he had spent on her, he was unlikely to just let her go. Then again, he could try to kill her, though she doubted he would. Four billion credits wasn't something you just killed off for not co-operating with you. Besides, she didn't work for them, she used them to achieve what she wanted, and what she wanted was the threat of the Reapers eliminated and Cerberus had the resources to do so.

She looked up again, locking eyes with Miranda's defiant gaze. _She doesn't like me being in charge_.

"Fine. Suit up. We're going to find this Archangel."

"I'm glad you chose to take the Illusive Man's advice." Miranda said with her heavy accent. Rue merely nodded before returning to the captain's quarters.

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"That's it?" Rue asked, trying to mask her surprise where she stood, suited up in her heavy armour, staring at the informant, who, hadn't changed into anything else, but wore the same cat suit as before with the black high heeled boots that reached to her knees. The suit wrapped itself rather nicely around the informant's sensual body, and revealed a fair amount of cleavage.

"Is there a problem commander?" Miranda gave her a flat stare.

"Miranda. We're heading into Omega, 'haven for all criminals', safe guard to murderers, petty duct rats, and god knows. To say we'll bump into quite some resistance along the way is probably an understatement. We could be going into heavy fire and you're wearing _that_."

Miranda looked a little confused as she glanced down at herself. "What's wrong with this?"

"What's it made of?" Rue asked pinching the sleeve drawing an irritable groan from the informant. "My pinch hurt? Well, imagine being shoot at in that then." Rue reprimanded her.

"I assure you commander I can handle myself. Bullets are the least of my problems." She said raising her eyebrow. "Just focus on your task and I'll worry about keeping the subject alive. That would be you."

"Charming." Rue answered sourly.

"I'm here to make sure you succeed with the mission. I'm not here to be charming." Miranda retorted coldly.

Rue snorted as she watched the cold beauty fall behind her as they moved to leave the Normandy replica.

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Omega was everything but grand. It was dark and murky, a prefect planet for outlaws, and perhaps that was why it had become the harbour for everyone who lived outside the law. Rue recalled having heard tales of its spectacular design before the elegant planet had turned into the miserable place it now was. Shabby new buildings had been built haphazardly all across the Omega, and the stench in the poorer districts was foul.

Beggars and duct rats scurried out of their way as they made through the thin, twisting streets towards Archangel's hide out. The professor had been recruited and secured, now all that was left to do before they could back to the Normandy was to find this Archangel. Rue wasn't sure why, but something about the Archangel felt familiar. Reading his dossier she thought he reminded her of someone, but she couldn't really remember who. Something at the far end caught her attention and she stopped dead in her tracks. Motioning for the others to take cover she pulled her shotgun from her belt raising it in front of her eyes as she slipped into the shadows, using them as a cover as she eased down the street.

She spotted the first freelancer without much problem. He was pacing back and forth, his back turned towards them. _Too easy_! She could finish him off easily with her shotgun, but it would make a mess and draw the attention of nearby enemies. Unhooking her sniper rifle from her back she aimed it at the unknowing freelancer. One shot. The freelancer fell lifeless to floor.

"Nice." She heard Jacob whisper in her ear piece.

"Let's move on. Stay behind me and stick to the shadows." She ordered as she slipped passed the dead freelancer, still hidden by the dark shadows.

_We're losing time_. She thought where they crept along. They better pace it up if they were going to get back to the Normandy before nightfall. She was rounding the corner when Miranda's voice rang out sharply in her ear. "Careful Shepard, enemies ahead!"

The mercenaries were coming at them from all angles firing off their weapons. Containers flew into the air, mechs were pulled up and thrust backwards by Miranda's biotic power. Jacob was right beside her firing off his shotguns, attacking them with his own biotics while Rue was taking out the freelancers that hid behind the well stacked shelves in the large storage room. They were moving forward, if slowly, when group of mechs appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, at the two companions' left flank.

"On your left!" Rue warned before diving in behind the two biotics, shielding their backs, her M-5's bullets crushing the new group of enemies. She felt something slam against her shoulder, an intense burning spreading through the whole of her side and she staggered backwards before the last mech fell lifeless to the ground.

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Rue Shepard grimaced as Miranda propped her up against one of the metal containers. One of the mech's bullets had managed to wedge itself into her shoulder.

"That was reckless." Miranda said softly. Her grey eyes studied Rue's face as she placed her omni-tool above Rue's wounded shoulder. There was a clicking noise and the bullet was pulled out from the wound, dropping to the floor.

"God. Damn it!" Rue hissed through clenched teeth before the stabbing pain was numbed, replaced by a dull throbbing.

"I'm sorry, but this tissue costs a fortune, I can't really let you ruin it with bullets."

"I swear to God you'd leave me here to die if I wasn't your project." Rue muttered.

"Considering your previous achievements I doubt it would take one simple bullet to kill you, but yes, probably. Though as it is, you're worth a fortune." The informant said flatly, but Rue caught the hint of a smile glint in Miranda's eyes.

"Lucky me. Now let's finish this off."

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Garrus. All the time Archangel had been Garrus. Rue snorted where she walked on the thin bridge towards Joker.

"I see you found the place of sin." She heard Joker's call out from the pilot's seat he was sitting in.

She chuckled slightly. Whatever Joker meant with that she was certain she didn't even want to know. "So what is she like?" She asked leaning against the back of Joker's seat, peering across his shoulder at the multiple screens.

"This baby is not really the Normandy, but she has some really cool features. If you're asking me if I can fly her... well, you should already know the answer to that.

"Relax, I'm just trying to make conversation. Why you so edgy anyway?"

Joker scowled. "It's that AI. I don't like it. It's like she's watching everything I do, my every move."

"I'm the Normandy's enhanced defense intelligence, it's my job to monitor everything that happens on the ship."

"See!" Joker hissed through the corner of his mouth.

"EDI's kept us out of a lot of trouble, let her be." Rue said watching the blue orb next to them before adding, "For now."

"So... Cerberus Joker, why?"

"Because... you were our commander, our leader, the one who united us. When you died it all sort of fell apart... and I was grounded. With Cerberus at least I get to fly, and hey! My favourite commander is on board as well." Joker grinned from his seat as his hands moved this way and that across the screens.

"We were good, weren't we?"

"The best commander."

"Well, for what it's worth... I'm glad to have you on my team again." Rue said squeezing Joker's shoulder lightly before sighing. "Well.. I really should go."

"Yeah, you should, you're getting soppy on me."

Whacking the back of his head she turned and walked back towards the elevator, observing the new ship crew with curiosity as she passed them. The new Normandy was impressive. Though Rue still hadn't gotten used to not have Navigator Pressly standing next to her, helping her to navigate the Galaxy Map and that Kelly... she was sweet enough to pay some attention Rue thought to herself as she rounded the command deck. Yeoman Chambers looked up just in time to see Rue pass. The yeoman smiled endearingly as Rue winked and nodded before entering the elevator. Turning around she saw Kelly wink and smile back before the doors shut.

Rue chuckled and shook her head. Kelly Chambers was more than tempting, besides, her captain's quarter was far too empty. It was sterile and quiet, the only reminder of her previous life a framed photo of Liara on her desk. Entering her quarters she frowned. How _did _they know about that? _Easy. _Joker's voice rang in her head. _Everything from the original Normandy was recorded and kept in the black box_.

"Of course." She muttered.

Liara. She threw herself on to the bed. The last time she saw the Asari had been only moments before the explosion. _Go. Liara. Now!_

"You should have said 'I love you', you moron." She chided herself.

The Illusive Man had told her Liara could be found on Illium, but there was something else in Liara's dossier the Illusive Man had given her. Liara had moved on with her life. The dossier stated vaguely that Liara worked within information, and that she was very successful at whatever it was she was doing. She had been courted by many influential, and rich persons before she announced she was already spoken for. _Two years, Shepard. Can you really blame her_?

"Well, actually yes. Whatever happened to the joined for a lifetime part?"

_You died._

"Fuck..." She had nearly died when parts of Sovereign's hull had ripped through the tower at Citadel. Afterwards Liara had made her promise to never do that again. Rue vowed she wouldn't die, that she would always return. _So much for always keeping your promises._

"Shut up."

It had only been a week since she woke up and she was tired. Dreadfully so. And at times her body still ached. Dr Chakwas had said it was to be expected, she had been dead after all. Feeling her vision blur as sleep started to settle, she remembered that despite her death, most of her last crew had survived and everyone in her squad had escaped unscratched. It was a feat. A small one, but at least she hadn't failed at her job as a commander. Only as a lover.

"Liara moved on. So should you." She muttered before sleep bathed her once more.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	3. The Noble Savage

_Rue was in many ways my saviour. She helped me see things I've never seen before, made me feel things I never felt before. She saved me that day when we met. From harm, but most importantly, from myself._

**THE NOBEL SAVAGE**

THE HEADACHES CAME MORE FREQUENTLY and lasted longer making her head feel like it had just been hit by a huge sledge hammer. Rue swore under her breath as she leaned against the wall in the shower, letting the hot water wash over her. The sound of the water sprays crashing on to her head reverberated through her head and she squeezed her eyes shut. Being resurrected wasn't all what they made it out to be. It _hurt_. Why did they bring her back anyway? She had died, and where she stood she wished she had remained dead. The thought made her feel guilty, she should be happy to have been given a second chance. She should feel excited about having to solve an impossible mission, that's usually what would have made her happy. The old her. The original her. Now she just felt tired and sore. Glancing sideways she saw her own reflection in the bathroom mirror. This person, this _thing _staring back at her, it wasn't really her, or truth be told. _She _wasn't really her. This body was nothing but a shell, filled with a dead person's memories, feelings, thoughts, ambitions, everything that a person consisted of, still it was nothing but made up. She was as artificial as EDI, yet everyone regarded her with this strange awe. And amidst everything she felt used. She hadn't been resurrected because someone thought she might miss her life, or be happier alive, she had been resurrected to do someone else's bidding. She was nothing more than a tool. She may have opinions, but were they really her own? Stepping out from the shower cabin she wasn't sure what to believe. She hated not knowing what to think or do. It was the one thing that had gotten her this far, to be able to know what to do without having to think about it, just by reacting to any given situation. Now all she knew was that she had died as one person and come back as another.

Rue Shepard was tough, ruthless in some peoples' eyes. Traumatized, they said. By what happened to her at Mindoir, but in truth, Rue had more guts than most and was willing to risk herself and her crew for the good of the galaxy if need be. They all knew what they had signed up to, there was not dilly dallying about it. If you were afraid to die, then you had no business in the Alliance. Everyone had to make sacrifices, Rue knew this, and working as a soldier and commander she was faced with difficult decisions daily. It was her job to make them. The rush of the battle could keep her going for hours, it was that adrenaline that pushed her to her limits, made her the best, but then she had died.

_Fire as hot as the sun surrounds her, the Normandy shaking violently. There are explosions all around her, crew members laying scattered across the broken floor. Joker's arm is around her neck, then it's no longer there. Suddenly she's slung out from the ship, ribs breaking from the blast, suit ripping wide open at her neck, an intense pain rippling through her body. Images flashes. Not of her childhood, or her parents. Not of her comrades or her lover, but of every single face of those she has killed. One, two, three… forty-four, forty-five one hundred, two hundred. There were too many too count. Then, nothing. _

Drying her scarred face she stared at the sad woman in front of her. This one had come back, returned from the abyss of death. This one was not brave. Green eyes blinked. This one was scared. She covered her face with her towel as she breathed slowly. People depended on her. She could not afford to be afraid. Removing the towel she looked back at her reflection once again, this time strong and defiant. That would have to do for now. She knew the Cerberus informant would be watching her every move, if she didn't act like the old her Miranda would notice it. Apparently nothing escaped the watchful eyes of that woman.

"You had a check up appointed with me this morning." Miranda said crossly as Rue stepped out from the elevator. She gave her a flat stare before moving on to the kitchen. "Shepard!"

Rue grabbed her coffee turning around slowly narrowing her eyes. "I thought we had established that I was fine?" She answered dismissively before she moved towards the elevator closely followed by the informant.

"You got _shot _yesterday. I need to evaluate your condition." Miranda argued.

"I've been shot before." Another sip from her coffee.

"_Not _in this body you haven't." She was cut off by Miranda who placed herself between Rue and the elevator doors, arms crossed, eyes blazing with anger. "You may be the captain, but when it comes to Project Lazarus _I'm _the director and you _will_ do what I say." She emphasized the last few words, before her lips thinned.

Rue felt her temper rising, this Miranda was very bold talking to her in such manner. Taking a menacing step towards the informant she willed herself to stay calm. She stared into Miranda's eyes before taking a step backwards. "Fine. But I'm bringing my coffee."

Miranda sighed resolutely behind her back. "Just. Go."

Despite herself Rue smiled as she walked towards Miranda's office. Something about making Miranda's life just a little more difficult seemed to make her happy somehow. _I blame it on the original me. _She thought quietly to herself, finding it to be quite a nice excuse to use.

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.

The office was spacious and Miranda had the luxury of having her office next to a large window gazing out at the vast darkness outside, planets and meteors streaking by like long-tailed orbs. Tilting her head slightly Rue saw the large bed behind Miranda's desk.

"You really are married to the job." She said sarcastically before leaning back into the chair.

"And you are lucky I am." Miranda retorted shortly.

"Am I?" Rue bit her tongue the second she let the words slip past her lips.

Miranda gave her a concerned look as she put down the dossier she held in her hands. "Is there something bothering you?"

"Not at all, the subject is just fine." She tried to keep the bitterness out of her voice.

Miranda seemed to eye her a moment before deciding she was telling the truth. "So, how are you feeling commander? How is your shoulder doing?"

"I feel fine, it was just a flesh wound, nothing serious." There wasn't any need for her to know about the headaches, they would pass.

"I've noticed your sleep pattern seems irregular." Miranda said as she looked through her notes.

"You noticed my sleep pattern? How could you possibly have noticed my sleep pattern without breaking some very personal boundaries?" Shepard frowned feeling her temper flare.

"Shepard, you're Project Lazarus subject and the Illusive Man's newest, most important asset. I've got EDI monitoring your cabin." Miranda said without flinching.

Rue stared incredulously at her. "You _what_?" She stood up, towering above the informant.

"Commander, think. If you were in my position, what would _you _do?"

Rue's eyes twitched her one hand balled up into a fist before she sat back down. "Admittedly I would do the same, but for Christ sake Miranda, you could have warned me, it's a breach of privacy and you bloody well know it."

"EDI only monitors physical states. She doesn't keep track of _everything_ you do." Miranda said the corner of her mouth trying not to quirk upwards.

Rue raised her eye brow. "Oh, great. That makes me feel so much better."

"Well?" Miranda looked up from her dossier.

"It's fine. I always sleep like that…"

"Had any nausea, headaches or experienced memory loss?"

Rue willed herself to not flinch. "No. Nothing of the sort."

"Well then, commander. You're free to leave. I will fill in this report and send it to the Illusive man."

Rue nodded before getting up. "I'll let you work then."

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Miranda watched the doors close behind the commander only to slid open seconds later.

"How can I help you commander?" Miranda asked, slightly bewildered as to why Shepard had returned so suddenly. It seemed she had something on her mind and she stood staring at her before she opened her mouth.

"Are you always this… focused?"

"Focused?" Miranda raised an eyebrow. That's not what the commander had meant to say.

"I was going to say cold, but it sounded cruel." The commander said bluntly, observing her as she did so.

Shepard's words stung slightly, but were neither original nor unusual when it came to describing her. It was quite the opposite, and for good reason. Keeping her emotions in check and keeping people at an arms length was what had gotten her this far. It had helped her survive. Escape her crazy, egomaniac father. Not only that, it was how she had been designed. To be the best, the smartest, that – she had learnt – did not earn you any friends. Being her meant being alone. Miranda kept her mask on, clasping her hands on the desk in front of her. "I don't see the point with your question."

"Look Miranda, you keep prodding and poking me, and I'm sure you know more of me than I do, but you're also apart of my team. That means I want to know who's got my back out there. I want to know who I can trust." The commander looked at her intensely.

It did make sense, Miranda knew this. She had just told Shepard she was letting EDI keep records of her life in the cabin, unseen by everyone else, it would seem only fair for Shepard to want something in return, but she just didn't know what Shepard's goal was. Was she going to use Cerberus for her own agenda? The Illusive Man might be overly impressed with the commander, but Miranda doubted he recognized Shepard for what she was, _one _woman. The whole galaxy, the Illusive Man included, praised Shepard for her skills – she had after all saved the Citadel and the council from certain doom. But that were two years ago and the person standing in front of her had been woken up too early. No doubt it had Shepard's memories and tissue, and quite a few nice upgrades, but was she ready? Was this Shepard really ready for the mission? There were no guarantees Shepard could do this, not now. Miranda hadn't planned on waking Shepard up just yet. They needed more time to run test on the subject. _The subject_… She'd spent every day these past two years piecing the commander back together. Every hour of the day had been spent researching Shepard's past going through dossier by dossier, finding out everything there was to know. Medical history, personal history, she had read Shepard's psychological evaluation, watched recorded interviews, read old reports about Shepard's achievements, she had even talked to the commander's old lover, the Asari doctor Liara T'Soni. She'd studied Shepard for so long and so well that Shepard had been reduced to a thing rather than a person to the informant. Maybe if they had integrated Shepard with the control chip Miranda would have felt safer, felt more sure of that Shepard would be an asset and not a liability, but as it was, Shepard was not integrated with a chip.

"Commander, let me tell you about myself. I can shoot the head off any target from a distance of a hundred meters, and was I to find myself without any weapons I could just as easily take out any target with just my biotics."

Shepard looked bored and least of all impressed where she sat. "I'm sure you can handle yourself. I'm not interested in your merits. I want to know who _you _are." Shepard pointed her finger at her in an authoritarian manner. "Integrity says a lot about a person."

_I have integrity. You don't even know me! _Miranda wanted to retort, but kept silent. Shepard was trying to provoke her. "All you need to know is that I'm more than capable, now, we can either just sit here and talk about it or we could get this done. Like I told you I'm _not _here to make friends."

"Obviously."

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.

Rue was annoyed where she stood by her private terminal staring at the screen. It had been a simple question. One simple question, and yet, the informant had refused to answer it. It wasn't like she had asked for her life story, she just wanted to know who she was. _Why do you want to know anyway?_ She knit her brows together. Why did she want to know? Was it really that she needed to know if she could trust Miranda? How could she trust Miranda? She reported straight to the Illusive Man, she worked directly and willingly for this group. As much as she wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt her Alliance background held her in a firm grip and Cerberus was and would never be any more than a human terrorist group. They only had the best interest of humans at heart and this was their excuse to extort and black mail aliens. They were extremists using a good cause as their front. Rue didn't like it at all. You only had to scrape on the surface to see that everything wasn't as it seemed when it came to Cerberus and so far the informant had given her no reason to trust her.

Rue shook her head. This could prove to be a problem. She needed to know Miranda would not be a liability to her crew on this mission, still at the same time she needed her. She needed Cerberus. As much as she hated to admit it the Alliance had given up on her, they had declared her dead, and she had been dead. She looked up abruptly as something occurred to her. _How _had they gotten hold of her body?

"Commander?" Yeoman Chambers was standing next to her, a coy smile, eyes sparkling.

"Yes?"

"You have unread messages at your terminal." The yeoman said.

"Kelly… I'm _at _my terminal…" Rue said slowly.

"I know, but I had written a note to remind you, so I thought I might as well use that excuse to come talk to you." She bit her bottom lip smiling.

Rue chuckled. "You don't need an excuse to talk to me, do you?"

"Well, I'll remember that." Kelly winked before her terminal made a faint beeping noise. "Talk to you later Commander."

Rue watched her go with an amused grin. Working with Cerberus certainly had its perks. This would have annoyed Liara. She laughed to herself before sighing. She couldn't shake the thought of the Asari. Looking at yeoman Chambers she knew she would more than enjoy herself with her, but she also knew she longed for something else. Someone else. Scanning her unread messages she was hoping to see the Asari's name, but upon searching her inbox twice she found no sign of the Asari's name. _What did you expect_?

"I don't know."

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.

"I don't get it Jacob!" Miranda exclaimed. "I told her everything and she wasn't even remotely impressed!" She paced back and forth inside Jacob's office.

"She should be ecstatic to have me on her team. I'm superior to anyone else, and she didn't even flinch!"

"Human." Jacob said shortly as he kept organizing the different upgrade parts for their weapons on his table.

"What?" She stopped pacing.

"Superior to any human." Jacob corrected her calmly, the former alliance soldier who she had almost shared a bed with once. Almost.

"Miranda." Jacob looked up from his work putting the upgrades aside. "Shepard's not like that. Statistics won't impress her. Courage and heart will, and we both know you got it. Now, Shepard needs to know that as well."

Miranda sighed heavily and sagged into one of the large armchairs. "Jacob… do you really think she's ready for this?"

"You spent the last two years on this project because you believed in it. You _know _she's ready. Besides, this is the woman who led a small team against Saren and his army and defeated him. No casualties. Of course she's ready."

"It's my head on the line if she isn't… perhaps I can evaluate her one more time, just to be sure."

"Well, you should hurry up then, we're picking up the convict in two hours. Although you could try and just talk to her you know." Jacob said returning his attention to the upgrades, leaving the informant to ponder quietly to herself.

"Fine." She muttered as she got up and left the room.

"Fine, what?" Jacob called from behind her before the doors shut.

.

.

"I don't trust you."

Shepard lifted her eyes from the tray of food staring into Miranda's blue eyes.

"Blunt enough." She replied taking a sip from her glass of water. "Have a seat."

Miranda placed her tray on the table in front of the commander. "The three black dots. What are they for?"

Shepard quirked her eyebrow before looking down at the space between her thumb and index finger. Three, small black dots had been tattooed into her skin like a triangle. "You really did think of everything." She sounded impressed and Miranda smiled, holding her head slightly higher.

"I had it done ages ago on Bekenstein when my first unit and I stopped there before a mission. It's a reminder of the family I lost."

"I…" Miranda felt a pang of guilt as she realized it probably wasn't anything the commander ever talked about. She hadn't read it in any of the dossiers and Liara, the Asari who possessed many – if not all – of Shepard's memories through the meld, hadn't told her such thing.

"Didn't know? No, it's not in the files I guess."

Miranda studied the commander. So this was the key to who Shepard was. It wasn't the glory, or the fame, not even revenge that drove her. Suddenly Miranda saw it so clearly, how could she have been so blind? How could any of them? Every mission successfully completed, every civilian and soldier saved was the very face of her family. She did it for redemption! But why would Shepard blame herself? She had been nothing more than a child, sixteen the reports said, still she had taken out nearly one third of the Batarian raiders before she was shot and fell off the cliff she was hiding on. Assumed to be dead the raiders left her barely alive to be found by the Alliance team several hours later. _She wonders why her_. Miranda realized. It stunned the informant where she sat. She had heard many stories of the woman who had brought Saren and Sovereign to their knees. All told of this strong woman who feared nothing. This solider who was ruthless, stopped at nothing. But none of the stories could ever do the commander justice. None of them told of what Miranda saw sitting there in front of her. That's why she's known to be such a great leader, because she cares about her crew. She may not regard her own life with much respect, but she would die for her comrades. She had read in on report that Shepard referred to herself as the noble savage, this statement had left many confused, but now it made perfectly sense. Miranda suddenly saw the person sitting in front of her. That person would go to any extent to keep them safe. Could she really say the same about herself?

"So…" Shepard interrupted the awkward silence that had settled. "Ever had anything done yourself?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

Shepard chuckled, folding her arms, weighing on her chair. "Is that an offer?"

Miranda snorted. "In your dreams Commander."

"Oh, I forgot, we're not supposed to be friends." Shepard smiled wryly. "I should take my leave before anyone sees you actually enjoy talking over lunch." She winked before leaving Miranda slightly annoyed, yet… intrigued.

.

* * *

**AN. **Again thank you to everyone who has read, subscribed, added to favs, reviewed and more. :)

Getting reviews really helps me writing, knowing if i'm going in the right direction or not.

In the game Miranda and Jacob both mention that Shepard's been woken up too early, I thought that this should have some effects and I slo thought Shepard was kind of a little too casual about the whole "hey you took my pile of flesh and rebuilt me"-thing. So I thought I'd interpret that in my fanfic. ^^

Well, I hope you enjoyed it untill next time I wish you a Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year!

~Elmjuniper


	4. Trust

_Rue never knew the effect she had on me. She was never aware of the effect she had on anyone. Rue was not the typical leader. She never demanded loyalty. She earned it. That was what everyone admired about her. That was why I fell in love with her. In battle she was as cold and heartless as stone, but for those in need she was the solid shelter and warm comfort. She inspired people. Gave them hope. She was a hero to them, but to me she was just Rue. The woman I held close at night. Who loved me for an eternity, or maybe just a moment. No matter how long or short I will never regret it. Giving myself to her. I only regret not telling her. Maybe one day you will._

**TRUST**

SHE WOKE UP SCREAMING, HER heart racing. Staring wildly about the room, sitting up in her empty bed she covered her face with her hands as she wept uncontrollably. The dream was always the same. The Normandy, the safety pods. Then the instant pain she had felt when Rue had seized to exist. She'd been strapped into her seat inside the pod when it felt like someone thrust a hand inside her chest and ripped out her lounges and heart. She had screamed then as the bond between her and her lover had been severed. A blood curling scream had erupted from her lips as she clutched at her chest.

Forcing herself to breathe slowly the Asari pulled up the cover, shielding herself from the cold air in her luxurious apartment reaching for the water glass next to the bed. It had been two years and six weeks since that fateful night on The Normandy and still the nightmares kept returning. They had become more vivid since she left the remains of Rue's body with the Cerberus group and the guilt kept gnawing away at her. She knew it was wrong. Rue wouldn't have wanted that, but she couldn't face losing her, and still… that's exactly what she had done, and not only that, she had sacrificed a friend's safety while recovering Rue's body. Rue would have chided her.

She smiled at the thought of the striking commander she had met all those years ago. She had been like a silly teenage girl, only one hundred and six, and instantly infatuated with the charming commander. She remembered their first meld and the sensation it had invoked within her. How she had blushed when she caught Rue eyeing her appreciatively. It had been so new to her, so thrilling and enticing. It was unlike anything else she had ever experienced, and even for her lack of skills in communication she was terrible when talking to Rue. The commander had been patient with her, giving her space when she needed it, nudged her a little extra when she wanted it. Then they had joined. Liara had never been surer of anything. In Rue's presence she was weakened, sparks flew like a glorious firework display whenever they we're in each other's presence, and no logic, no paragraphs or rules could talk sense into her when Rue stood close to her.

Twenty one nights. That's how many nights they had spent together. Twenty one mornings was how many mornings she had woken up to find Rue grinning next to her before pulling her into an embrace. Sometimes when she woke up and the sun hit her face Liara could swear she saw Rue's head on the pillow next to her, but then when she reached out to touch her she was no longer there. Nothing but thin air her poor replacement.

Leaning her head into her palm Liara sighed before looking out at Illium's magnificent skyline. Two long years and still she hadn't heard a word about Cerberus progress with Rue. As much as she wanted to think it was wrong, parts of her hoped they would have succeeded by now. She shook her head. What would it matter anyway? Even if Rue came knocking on her door tomorrow she couldn't just take off with her. No, she had to find a way to help Feron. She was indebted to him and she would make the Shadow Breaker pay for what he had done, all the pain he had caused. He was going to sell Rue to the highest bidder – the collectors! He deserved no less than what was coming for him. There was no mercy in her heart, only cold, pure hatred. Innocence had since long left the Asari's fair face and now her jaws clenched with a coldness and determination that would have scared the commander. Throwing her covers aside she grabbed her robe as she went. The Shadow Broker never slept. Why should she?

~•~

The Purgatory ship was enormous and still Miranda could hear the distant screams from the prisoners echo and bounce between the walls. She didn't feel particularly affected by this, they did deserve to be here after all, although she wasn't entirely sure she agreed with the warden's view on making a profit from a business such as this one. Then again, it was just another way of earning one's living. Morality really had nothing to do with it, and in all fairness, he did make sure these criminals were locked away, unable to cause any problems. There were of course a thousand loopholes in this theory as well, but she hadn't had the time to read all the files about this place to analyze it properly. Shepard however seemed concerned with how the inmates were treated and had already had time to threaten a guard to let him have a taste of his own medicine if he didn't stop the beating they witnessed. Shepard had sounded dangerously angry and the guard had, understandably, lost his nerve and interrupted the beating. Miranda smiled though because for some strange, moronic and unexplainable reason to her, she found the commander endearing trying to stop a beating on a ship like the Purgatory.

Shepard was following the guard sent to guide them to Jack, looking stern as she interrogated him about the Purgatory. Miranda glanced sideways at Jacob who looked uninterested and slightly bored when she heard Shepard's voice call out to her.

"Miranda, I remember what the protocol was called."

Miranda blinked in confusion. _What_? Looking over at the commander she saw Shepard place her hands behind her back, right hand covering her left as her right index finger tapped quickly on the side of her left hand. Something was amiss.

"Yes, _The Reaper And Protheans_."

_The what? _Miranda racked her brain. Shepard was trying to tell her something, but what. Watching her finger tap the informant silently cursed herself for not taking those morse code classes. _Think Miranda… She using a code._

"I must forward it to the office then." _Think!_

"That you must do." Shepard said flatly.

_Lettering! What was the words again?_ "The Reaper And Protheans, you said?"

"Sure did."

_**T**__he __**R**__eapers __**A**__nd __**P**__rotheans. Trap! _Turning to Jacob without flinching she lowered her eyes towards his gun. He caught on to her signal giving her a barely visible nod.

"I know where that file is. I'll have it sent first thing when we get back,"

"Well Commander, just go inside that room and Jack should be there." The guard said pointing towards a doorway.

"Thank you." Shepard said before her arms flew up towards the guard's head. She wrung it so fiercely it snapped with a loud crunching noise. Miranda and Jacob flared their biotics crushing the two nearby guards clearing their way as Shepard drew her gun.

"Nice work." She smiled her crooked smile at them before turning around. "Now let's get Jack and get the hell out of here."

The guards came running from all directions as the warden's voice roared in the speakers above their head. "Shepard! I was hoping you wouldn't put up a fight. It would just be easier to let me capture you. You are worth a lot of credits, and I have more manpower than you have bullets."

"You have no idea, asshole. You _don't _want to be my enemy!" The commander shouted as she stormed towards the guards, closely followed by the two biotics.

~•~

Illium was quiet during this time of the night and Liara marvelled at the serenity that had settled across the otherwise bustling city. She let her hand slide along the cold railing of the balcony as she slowly wandered the length of it. The brisk night breeze caressed her face and she closed her eyes, the dossier from her desk still switched off, resting in her left hand. The dream had unsettled her. Had awoken the strong longing she had suppressed for so long. She feared it would overwhelm her, so powerful was it she thought it might bring her to her knees.

She had travelled all across the galaxy to recover Rue's body, she had fought Blue Suns, Turians, Batarians, and any type of mercenary one could think of. She had done all that because she believed Rue might still be alive at first, despite what had happened to their bond. She had persuaded herself it was the blast, the distance, anything else but…death. Then Feron had told her and numbness had swallowed her like a black hole would devour a spaceship. She had demanded to see the body, making sure it was really Rue. That was before the Blue Sun agents attacked. Things after that seemed like a haze and she remembered it with difficulty, maybe because she chose to. It was too hard to think of. Despite knowing better she had left Rue's body in the hand of Cerberus. Somehow it seemed better than in the hands of the collectors or any other thieving crew. In a galaxy full of wrong it seemed like the lesser evil.

She stopped her slow walk and leant against the railing. Her guilt felt self-indulgent now. She couldn't change the choice she made, and the Asari wasn't sure she'd do it differently were she to be given that chance. Rue meant too much to her. When it came to the red-headed commander Liara was fiercely selfish. She wasn't proud about it, but it was the truth nonetheless. She lifted her hand with the dossier and switched it on. She might not be able to redeem herself for what she with Rue's body, but she could try still try and save Feron – if he was still alive, then at least his blood would not be on her hands.

~•~

"Shepard they've seen us!" Miranda alerted the commander. Rue barely had time to dodge the hissing bullet as she ducked in behind some crates for cover. This was an unpleasant surprise.

Guards and mechs poured in from the far end of the large cargo hold. Some of them continued onwards while others broke the formation to chase after the rampant inmates who'd been let out by Rue when she freed Jack from cryo. It was either that or lose the convict, and that wasn't part of Rue's plan. The guards were replaced by mechs who marched mechanically towards them firing their weapons. _Shit_!

Even though killing living species was never fun business, mechs were far more difficult and time consuming to kill. The bullets tore through the air with the familiar mechanical click as clips were emptied and released. Rue's head pounded with excitement and fear, adrenaline coursing through her veins. Closing her eyes she listened to the rhythmic rattling of guns fired. _Thump. Thump. Thump-thump-thump. Click. _There it was. It was fast, instant, but still the only opportunity Rue needed. Her eyes snapped open and she kicked out from the wall, blasting the mechs with her Phalanx as she slid across the floor. Miranda and Jacob followed suit bolting out from their covers.

Miranda's hand glowed with her biotic powers as an invisible force erupted from her hands throwing five of the mechs of balance. Jacob pulled and levitated another one high up in the air. It crashed ungracefully to the floor. Reloading her guns Rue charged at the enemies, arms held in front of her, shields active. At first she ran, ducking into cover every now and then, but then she slowed into determined, long steps, felling one mech after the other. Releasing the emptied clips she swiped her guns at the fully loaded clips strapped to the side of her thighs. The clips clicked into the empty valve with a reassuring snap. Throwing her arms out to her sides she took out the remaining mechs when she heard it – the Heavy Mech that appeared in the corner of her eye.

"Of course." She muttered.

"Overload!" Miranda shouted firing off a powerful blast at the Heavy Mech.

"Take out its shields!" Rue ordered a she spun on her heels sprinting towards it. Best way to kill something – shoot it in the head. Hurtling across a ramp flanking the Heavy Mech's right side Rue used the small rising to push herself into the air as she leapt towards the large killing machine.

"Commander!" The raven-haired informant exclaimed antagonized.

Rue grit her teeth as she somersaulted through the air across the Heavy Mech. Steadying her arms, she emptied the last of her ammunition into the mech's head. Hilts sprayed from her guns, landing like raindrops on the ground with clicking noises. The mech's head exploded as she landed in a crouch behind it.

"Don't move a muscle or I'll blow your brains out." The cold voice said, pressing the muzzle against the back of her head. "And drop your weapons."

Rue grinned letting her guns drop to the floor. "You _have _to be Jack."

The woman rounded her and Rue could see the colourful tattoos that graced her lithe frame. She glared angrily at Rue who stood up slowly.

"How do you know my name? Who the fuck are you?" She waved her shotgun in Rue's face moving menacingly towards her.

"I'm Rue Shepard."

"Wait. Shepard? _The _Shepard? You're the bitch who blew up that Reaper ship." Jack took a step backwards, studying Rue with scrutinizing eyes.

"That would be me. I've been looking for you."

"Shit. I thought you were dead."

"I was. Now I'm looking to recruit people for my team."

"You think I would join your… whatever your…" The woman caught herself midsentence when she saw Jacob and Miranda step out from their hiding places, her expression darkening even more.

"Cerberus! You're working for _them_? Those bastards did this to me!" The convict screamed enraged.

"I wouldn't put it like that…"

"Well FUCK you!" Jack spat. "I'll have nothing to do with these bastards." She nodded towards Miranda and Jacob glaring daggers at them.

"I'm sorry." Jacob said in his calm, diplomatic voice, slowly taking a step forward. "I don't know what Cerberus might have done to upset you, but you'd be answering to Commander Shepard."

"Yeah? And who does Shepard answer to boy scout?"

"I answer to _no one_." Rue cut them both off. "Now this place is going down and I want to be gone before the shit hits the fan. You can either stay here or come with us, either way we're leaving now." Rue said angrily turning her back towards the convict.

"If I go with you I want access to every single file that Cerberus has on me."

"That's not possible, those files are classified information." Miranda pointed out.

"Who asked you cheerleader?" Jack waved her gun at the informant.

"Consider it done. Now_ move_ out." Rue ordered as the ship shook violently.

"Fine, although I should point out… this ship is set to self-destruct should it ever be breached." Jack said.

"Of course it is. Why wouldn't it?" Shepard swore under her breath. Did everything have to be so difficult?

"Commander. I'm rerouting you out. The entrance to the dock area has been blocked and cannot be accessed. You should move towards the lower wards. There's a landing bridge there used to transport inmates." EDI's voice coordinated her.

"Make ready for pick up in five minutes." Rue commanded turning a right turn, running down the metal staircase.

~•~

Liara moved away from the railing casting one last glance across her shoulder before retreating into her apartment. The sky was still dark, the faint stars glittering like little fireflies above her head. She had read about the creatures in one of her books while researching the human culture. The apartment was nicely designed by Asari standards, opulent with high ceilings, large panorama windows allowing her to always take comfort in the magnificent view of Illium. It was by anyone's standard extravagant. She moved slowly down the stairs that bent around a thick pillar.

The dossier had been useless. Nothing she didn't already know about the Shadow Broker was to be found in it, all the same old info, but no clue as to where his hideout could be found. It was like chasing a ghost. Whenever she thought she had something it turned out to be a cold trail, or inaccurate. Every attempt she had made to intercept the Shadow Broker's movement had failed. Walking over to the kitchen she stared at the fancy coffee machine. She had bought it when she first arrived at Illium, still somewhere secretly hoping Shepard would come walking into the kitchen grumbling something about blasted Reapers, early hours and no coffee. Rue could barely manage to grunt some mornings before having one of her morning coffees. Liara shook her head ruefully. Shepard had never even visited apartment still her presence was etched into it from memories that wouldn't fade. Liara didn't want them too either, but some days when the emptiness felt like the only true thing in the world, then she wished that they at least would not affect her so.

Pulling the robe closer around her she drew a deep breath where she stood. Reminiscing would get her nowhere. She had to focus on the Shadow Broker, on how to bring him down. It would keep her mind off of things most days.

"_Will this ever be over?" The young Asari asked as she pulled the human's arm around her waist. _

"_I don't know." Rue answered before kissing Liara's favourite spot, pulling the Asari closer, her body wrapped perfectly around Liara's. "What do you think it would be like?"_

"_What?"_

"_Staying here. Just you and me, until it's all over. No more fighting Geth, no more fighting the council."_

"_It would be irresponsible." Liara smiled at the thought._

"_But it would be worth it. Sometimes I want to leave, hand the task over to someone else."_

_Sitting up the Asari watched the commander. "You don't just fight this war for the council or everyone else. You fight it for us. You and me. Our future."_

Liara stood staring at nothing lost in thoughts before she inhaled sharply pulling herself together. Whatever future they may have planned or not planned, it didn't matter anymore. Rue was gone. It was up to her to help keep the galaxy safe, and taking down the Shadow Broker seemed like a good way to start.

~•~

Jack leapt on to the Normandy closely followed by Jacob when the whole ship shook violently. Miranda stumbled backwards into Shepard who grabbed her arm, holding her firmly.

"Go, go, go!" She shouted when the bridge tore off the landing thick flames and smoke engulfing it.

The informant and commander were slung backwards from the blast crashing into the metal doors behind them. Shelves toppled over, lamps came off the ceiling crashing down onto the floor, glass shattering everywhere around them as the flames burst up all around them. Shaking her head Shepard grunted before sitting up. Miranda crawled into a crouch, ducking the flames licking the ceiling above their heads.

Shepard's ears rang from the loud explosion and she made a wry face as her earpiece crackled.

"Commander. Can you hear us?" Jacob's voice sounded distant in their earpieces.

"Jacob, I read you. EDI, how do we get out of here?" Shepard asked staring at the belching flames and smoke separating them from the Normandy.

"The door behind you has been blocked by debris from the blast, and the ducts have filled with smoke. The only way out is straight ahead."

"EDI, straight ahead is a _sea of fire_."

"I'm sorry Commander that is the only exit point I can detect."

"What now?" Miranda asked the commander whose gaze swept across the room. They stopped suddenly and she walked over to one of the shelves that had toppled over in the explosion.

It was a large shelf and a metal wire wrapped itself around the four corners of the shelf, top to bottom, to keep the shipments in place while placed on the shelf. Kneeling next to it Shepard pulled out a small object resembling a tiny torch. A small laser beam shout out from it severing the wire at both ends.

"Nifty little thing." She grinned pulling at the wire.

"I'm glad to see your spending spree at Harrot's Emporium wasn't a complete waste." Miranda commented dryly.

"You just wait till I'm done with this, then I'll rock your world." Shepard chuckled as she fastened the wire to a big barrel.

"What are we doing?"

"You'll see. EDI, how close up can you get to us?"

"According to my estimates no closer than thirty feet."

"And with your skill Joker?"

"Another six feet."

"I strongly advise not to..."

"It's ok. I can handle it." Joker cut the AI off sourly.

"Good, now Jacob, I'm going to use my Throw on a barrel, throwing it your way, I think…when you see it – pull. Pull it until you can secure it on the Normandy. Understood?"

"Yes Commander."

Waiting for Joker's signal she wrapped the wire around her arm and her hand.

"Commander, we're in position."

Shepard backed away from the barrel, gripping the thin wire firmly in her hand. Turning to Miranda she grinned impishly. "Miranda, get over here now."

"Wait, what are we..?"

"Your belt." Rue interrupted her. "Loosen it up and strap it around our waists."

Suddenly realizing what Shepard was about to do the informant found herself backing away.

"Are you insane?"

"I might be, but this is our only way out of here."

"It's suicide! There has got to be another way." Miranda tried to argue.

"Listen to me." Rue stepped forward and grabbed her wrist pulling her closer. "You have to trust me."

Miranda's mind reeled. Now? She had to trust her _now_? Shepard wanted to leap through a wall of fire with the aid of a wire as thin as a mouse's tail. Rue locked eyes with her.

"_Trust me_."

Looking into the commander's eyes she saw raw determination. Perhaps this wouldn't normally work, but Shepard was determined to pull it off, and Miranda knew if Shepard had set her mind to something there was little –if no– stopping her.

"Ok. Fine." She replied strapping her belt around their waists.

"Jacob!" Shepard called as she used what little biotic she had to hurl the barrel through the air. The wire tensed, pulling them towards the fire slightly.

"Ok, hold on to me." Rue instructed as she pulled the informant closer. "Oh, and this is strictly professional." She added.

Miranda chuckled in response partly at the bizarre situation, party because she was sure it wasn't _strictly _professional.

"When I say, activate your shields, ok?"

The informant nodded, bracing herself.

"And I need you to do one more thing."

"Whatever you need Commander."

"When we get through that fire I need you to pull."

"On what?"

"The Normandy."

"The Normandy? But I can't pull anything _that big_. It won't pull, we'll be…"

"Pulled towards it." Shepard filled in smugly.

Impressed by the commander's plan Miranda nodded quietly before looking at Shepard.

"Are you sure this is going to work?"

"Well… Technically it…_could _work."

"Commander, we're ready. The wire has been fastened and secured. We'll take off at your command."

"Go Joker! Miranda, shields now!"

Flaring her shields she felt herself jerk upwards roughly. Shepard grunted in discomfort as her arm was pulled above their heads, holding both of their weights. They flew through the air hitting the wall of fire with a dull thud. The fire only surrounded them for mere seconds, but her shields burned out almost immediately. Miranda hid her face from the intense heat in the bend where Rue's neck met shoulder, clinging on to the commander desperately. She didn't look up until she felt the cold air wash over them. Looking up she saw the Normandy and pulled for all she was worth. She could see Jacob and Jack pulling, their hands glowing with biotics. They sped up towards the Normandy tumbling through the opened gateway, crashing into the airlocks back wall. They both lay still just breathing until they realized half of Normandy's crew was hovering around them.

"That was one hell of a pull." Shepard smiled like a Cheshire cat earning herself a slap from the informant.

~•~

"Liara." Nyxeris said carefully as she entered her office.

Lifting her gaze from the multiple screens she smiled at her secretary. "Yes?"

"Did you hear the news this morning about the Purgatory."

"The prisoner ship?" Liara frowned. She rarely listened to the news nowadays. Whatever information she needed and she could sell would not be heard on the news therefore it had little meaning to her.

"Supposedly there was a break out and the ship self-destructed. From what I've heard there was a human terrorist group responsible for the attack."

"That's odd." Human terrorist group? It sounded eerily familiar.

"I…" Nyxeris wore a strange look on her face.

"What is it?"

"They know how blew up the ship."

Liara's frown grew deeper. Where was this going?

"It was the human spectre -Shepard."

TO BE CONTINUED…

* * *

**AN. **Me and Rue have been watching far too much MacGuyver. ;)

Thanks again for all the reviews, subscriptions, favings and such! Now that Shepard has gained a little bit of Miranda's trust things might just go a little smoother between them, but what about Liara? How will she react to the news that Rue is alive and haven't tried to contact her?

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. :)

Till next time!

~Elmjuniper


	5. Know Thy Subject

_In the first few days we spent together we talked about casual things that didn't really matter. We__ worked along side each other, never venturing close enough, always keeping at a safe distance, but something changed. Doesn't it always? And although I was terrified, I felt__ exhilarated at the same time._

**KNOW THY SUBJECT**

MIRANDA WAS COLD AND CALCULATING. At least that's what she wanted people to believe, but Rue had figured the raven-haired woman out. During their flight from the Purgatory she had seen that the way Miranda looked at her. They had shared a brief moment of trust, and for that moment she knew there was more to the informant that met the eye.

She had spent the past days observing her from afar, watching Miranda interact with the others. She was fiercely focused on her work, on the task at hand, never once wavering in her concentration when debriefing the new members of the crew. Rue found herself admiring the other woman's knowledge and skill. She was smart, just as smart as she had said she was, and she was sharp with the gun. However Miranda wasn't the best at dealing with neither her own or others emotions, that much was clear from hers and Jack's earlier dispute. Entering the informant's office she felt Miranda's eyes burn at her.

"What do you want from me?" The informant snapped irritably where she sat behind her desk.

"I just want to know if you can handle being on the same crew as Jack." Shepard answered indifferently where she stood. Showing her desperation to keep crew morale up would only give the informant the upper hand and she wasn't about to let that happen. They were facing the collectors, and mercenaries. Sitting like ducks waiting for the Reapers' oncoming army, all that was needed for everyone to give up hope was a poor crew. She needed them to think they could defeat this threat. She needed them to feel it, even though at the back of her mind she had already doomed them all to hell. She wanted to shake her head. Was this all there was to life? Fighting the Geth, the Reapers, would the threat of extinction never end?

"Look." Miranda stood up. "I'm in this because I believe in Cerberus and what they're doing. I'm not here for that _woman_. I can handle it."

"I can't have the both of you on my team if she's going to be a distraction."

Miranda snorted and crossed her arms. "Let's just stick to procedure. There's no need for you to engage yourself further."

Shepard could see the raven-haired woman's eyes flicker slightly. Insecurity.

"Miranda. I care about my team." Shepard nudged, just enough to push the informant slightly in the right direction.

"Considering you spent the last two years making sure I was being put back together correctly it's the least I can do." Rue tried to ease the tension.

"So you _care _simply out of duty. Well don't do me any favours Commander." Miranda retorted, closing up like a clam once again.

_Shit_.

"I should go, let you work then." Shepard said resolutely.

"You should." Miranda agreed glaring sullenly at the commander before turning her back at her.

Shepard sighed as she left Miranda's office before turning on her heels. "I gather you don't like other people much, but this wasn't up to any of us, so could we all at least try to get along? It would encourage me to save your ass out there. Besides I thought we had gotten over this thing. Apparently I was wrong."

Miranda opened her mouth to protest, but closed it before nodding reluctantly.

~•~

Liara sat quietly behind her desk. Nyxeris' words still rang in her head. She hadn't moved since she politely told Nyxeris she had some unfinished work and that she needed to be left alone, her hands still clasped tightly in front of her. Shepard was alive and she hadn't contacted her? Liara felt bewildered, hurt. Why wouldn't Rue contact her? A horrible thought hit her, what if she didn't even remember her? Or worse…what if she did and just didn't want to contact the Asari again. Rue must know it was she who gave her body to Cerberus. That's why she hadn't contacted her.

Liara felt her chest tie into a knot, tears of joy and sadness streaming down her face. Rue was alive! _Alive_. She wouldn't be able to talk to her or be with her, by Rue's choice, but at least she was alive and well, considering she was blowing up prison ships. Liara smiled despite the feeling of rejection. What else would Rue do the minute she woke up, but try and set the galaxy right? That's what she loved about her after all.

She would give Rue time, if she wanted to see her, have Liara explain the choice she made, then she would come to her, but the Asari did not want to push the commander. _Forcing her to come and talk to me would only make her hate me, besides I was never really good at talking._ Taking a deep breath Liara turned her focus back to her screens. Rue was alive, now she could focus fully on saving Feron.

~•~

"Well, look what the cat dragged in." Jack's sneered as she followed Miranda with a scowl. The informant however strode past the convict looking as cold as ever.

"Cut it out." Shepard muttered from the far end of the table.

"I still don't see why we should trust Cerberus _or _her." Garrus said narrowing his eyes, some of the other crew members casting knowing glances between themselves.

"Because we need them." The commander answered shortly before adding. "Anyway, that's not why we're here. We're heading towards Horizon, the colony is under attack as we speak. The information was wired to us only moments ago."

"You mean the mystery man upstairs told you." Joker's voice said from the speaker.

"Yeah, something like that." Shepard sneered. "We need to be quick and efficient down there. Look for any signs of survivors, and stay _together_." She eyed them all, letting her gaze linger slowly on each one of them, her eyes weighing the seriousness of the situation.

"We split up in two teams. Garrus, you lead my second team. Jack and Miranda you're with me. Mordin and Grunt you go with Garrus."

Miranda felt like gagging at the thought of having to stay in a team with Jack, but knew her emotions had nothing to do with the mission. If Shepard believed this to be best for this mission then she had no complaints. Staring flatly in front of her she ignored the comments made by the others.

"You all got your orders. Now go prepare. We'll touch down in twenty and I want you all suited up and ready to move out by then."

The crew members nodded, scattering as Shepard turned her backs towards them seemingly waiting for them all to leave. Miranda lingered until everyone had left the room before clearing her throat.

"Yes?" The commander turned around.

"Do you really think this is the best way to group up for this mission or are you trying to meddle?" Miranda said sounding a little angrier than she was.

Shepard's eyes seemed tired. "No, I'm not meddling. You should go suit up." She dismissed her.

Miranda nodded before leaving. She hated feeling like this. Like everyone was questioning her. She was good at her work. She had revived Shepard for Christ sake! Still everyone around that table had looked at her as if she was the Illusive Man's little secretary. It infuriated her. Instead of questioning her loyalty to this mission they should all be concentrating on helping Shepard get through the Omega 4-Relay.

Getting out from the elevator she saw Jacob standing outside her doors. She quickly took a step backwards. Not now… She needed to be alone and think.

~•~

"Where the hell are you?" Rue snarled where she walked the landing. The rest of the crew members had already gathered and the only one missing was the informant.

"Cheerleader bailing on us? I knew she wasn't cut out fo…"

"Shut your mouth Jack or I'll shut it for you." Rue was growing tired of the convicts sniping comments. They weren't exactly keeping morale up, but just causing tension in the group.

"You could try and…"

"And you'd be nothing but a bloody smudge on that wall." Rue had drawn her gun, pressing the muzzle of it on the underside of Jack's jaw before any of the crew had time to react.

"Shit Shepard. Go easy." Jack said trying to sound nonchalant, but Rue heard the slight quiver in the convict's voice.

"Wait here." Rue muttered as she left the companions, heading for the elevator. Miranda had to be somewhere, the question was only where.

Rue found the informant in the engine room, sitting on the thick railing, her legs swung across the round metal bars.

"You ok?" She asked as she climbed onto the bars.

Miranda remained silent, staring in front of herself. Shepard sighed slightly as she bent her head, staring down the deep engine shaft.

"I know it's not easy for you. Having people doubt you all the time."

The informant's face remained unemotional, but Rue could see Miranda clench her jaws.

"I get it. We have a task, you're focused. Don't have time to feel so none of this actually bothers you, but in case it would… I trust you and I couldn't do this without you."

Miranda turned to look at her in surprise. "But you…"

"Said I'd never work for Cerberus? I don't, but I work with _you_." Rue replied placing her hand briefly on Miranda's expecting her to withdraw it, but instead she smiled turning her attention back to the cylindrical shaft in front of her.

"I told Jack to lay off of you. I don't think she'll bother you that much anymore."

Miranda smiled. "Thank you Shepard, but I can take care of myself."

"I know, but I hate to see you sad."

Miranda's head snapped towards Rue's, eyes widened in anxiety. Once you figured out what to look for in the informant it was easy to read her.

"Don't worry. I won't tell anyone." She winked before spinning on the bars. "You know where to find me if you need to talk, but for now… we got some colonists to rescue."

"I wish we could actually do that, but you saw Freedom's Progress…" Her voice trailed off.

"Hopefully Horizon will be different." Rue glanced at the informant standing next to her in the elevator. Miranda's jet black hair rested lightly on her shoulders, not even a strand of hair out of place. Her defined jaw line more relaxed, and the plumb lips slightly parted. There was something soft about her appearance despite the mask she wore. Under different circumstances it would have been nice to get to know the informant more. Rue frowned. Under better circumstances? When would that be? In her case it seemed never. So what did that mean? That she would never get to know someone interesting again, or that she should take the time to anyway? No matter what the answer was she knew she wouldn't be getting to know the informant. Miranda would sooner choke on her omni-tool than befriend a crew member. She chuckled to at the thought of it.

"What?" Miranda turned to look at her quizzically.

"What? Oh…nothing…" How was she going to explain that one without making it sound as if she wanted the informant to choke on something?

"It sure didn't sound like nothing." Miranda said matter-of-factly in her Australian accent.

"I was just thinking about…a memory." Rue lied.

Miranda smiled. "You seem to have many that makes you do that."

"Do what?"

Miranda grinned as the elevator doors slid open. "Make me smile." And with that she walked ahead of her to the landing joining up with the rest of the crew leaving the commander to follow her with a confused look.

~•~

"Shepard?" The tall dark-haired man said in disbelief as his hands clasped her arms.

"That would be me Alenko, surely you didn't hit your head _that _hard so that you don't remember your old comrade in arms?" The commander winked to the handsome soldier greeting her with a shocked expression on his face.

They had arrived at Horizion finding the colony as hastily abandoned as the other colonies. Only this time the Collectors were still abducting the colonist when their small company landed. The huge Collector ship hovered like a giant bulk in the sky. Shepard had ordered the two teams to search for any survivors. She always did that. Then they had split up, Shepard leading the first team, Garrus the other, their armour upgrades shielding them from the Seeker swarms deceitful stings. They had battled their way to the Alliance defence system, shooting Husk and Scions for all they were worth, and now the whole team loomed behind Shepard as they waited for the pick up.

Miranda stared at the fallen Praetorian. It had been such a nuisance to take down. Shepard had yelled every possible profanity while working to bring it down. Now she stood tired, but still grinning in front of her old crew member. Studying them the informant found herself wondering if there had ever been anything between the two of them. They seemed closer than regular team mates. She scowled. Really? Shepard was into that? She would have thought she wasn't since she had been with that Asari… She knew Asari people were technically not women, they just happened to look like it, and be referred to as it. She snorted. The man's gentle eyes turned towards her as she snorted and he scowled, suddenly looking angry as his eyes turned cold and hard.

"I heard rumours you were alive Shepard…but I didn't believe it. I thought they must be wrong. You've been gone for two years and you turn up with these folks?" He nodded towards the informant and Jacob. Miranda grimaced. Why was this always the response they got? Could people not see the good they did? They worked to ensure humans future in the galaxy. They worked tirelessly for their safety, yet these poncy Alliance people always saw them as some sort of extremists.

Shepard caught his gaze looking slightly ashamed. Was she really ashamed to be associated with them?

"I don't work for Cerberus. They're helping me fight the Reapers." She said quietly.

She was ashamed to be associated with them! Miranda felt anger and disappointment swirl to life inside her.

"I was hoping I wouldn't find you with them." He shook his head.

"What is that supposed to mean? You were looking for me?" Shepard folded her arms like she always did when she was getting angry. Miranda knew this little manner by now, she had seen Shepard do the same thing several times onboard the Normandy.

"We…suspected you were alive, rumour has it you blew up the Purgatory. The council feared you might have gone rogue working with..." He looked up glaring angrily at Miranda. "_Them_."

"That explains what you're doing here…but Kaidan, you _know _me. I would never do anything that would jeopardize the galaxy's welfare. You know I'd only work with Cerberus as a last resort. The Alliance declared me _dead_."

"And you were!"

"Kaidan, please…come with me, it could be like the old days."

"Yeah, like when Ashley died."

Miranda's eyes snapped towards Shepard's face. The hurt and shame washed over the commander's face, if only fleetingly. So some things did unhinge the stoic soldier. Shepard bit her lip staring intently at her former crew member. He waved his hand dismissively at Shepard.

"Ashley died for this? You betrayed us all. No, Shepard. I will never come with you again when you're with Cerberus. I'm an Alliance soldier and the way I see it, my friend Shepard died in that explosion two years ago."

The commander's jaws clenched, thought the rest of her face and voice stayed calm. "If that is how you see it Kaidan. I'm sorry." She said flatly.

"So am I." He replied disapprovingly before turning around. Shepard stood watching him go, her gaze following his frame until they could no longer see the lieutenant.

The group stood quietly behind her, until she turned around looking as calm and collected as ever, stern, green eyes observing them.

"You all did really well. Now let's get back to the Normandy."

They all nodded heading out for the pick up spot. Miranda pulled to a stop by Shepard.

"Are you ok?"

"Of course I am." Miranda could see she was not. She didn't smile like she used to. Shepard might have seen more than any of them together. She might have died and come back again. Losing friends, lovers, even a few teeth that had been replaced, but if it was one thing she hadn't lost it was her childish, big smile and gleeful laughter. Looking at the commander where she stood now she saw someone blaming herself once again for a failure that wasn't hers.

"It wasn't your fault." She tried to comfort the commander.

"It was. It was my call, and I would do it again to save all those people, and so would Ashley…" Shepard answered as she started the slow walk to the pick up point.

~•~

The night seemed too long where she sat in front of the flickering screen. She moved the cursor back and forth, clicking every here and there in lack of better things to do. Miranda would probably tell her to finish one of those late reports, but her mind wasn't working as it should.

Seeing Kaidan had been wonderful, and for a second she had this crazy idea that she could actually bring the old team together, but the Illusive Man had been right. Two years had passed and everyone had moved on with their lives. They had new responsibilities, new missions, new priorities, and new lovers…her thoughts briefly touched at the Asari she had shared her bed with before dying. She huffed in annoyance at the thought of someone else sharing Liara's bed. If Kaidan knew she was alive then surely Liara must know it as well. She did after all work for the Shadow Broker as an informant, what good would she be if she didn't know this sort of information? So she really had moved on…why else hadn't she contacted her? Letting the cursor rest she wondered if the Asari ever thought of her? Did she ever cross her mind? Just like the Asari did hers.

Resting her aching head into her hands she growled in frustration. The head ache had come back the moment they set foot on the Normandy again. _This cabin is too quiet_! She thought irritably turning to watch the clock on the opposite wall. Two o'clock in the morning. Getting up she pulled on the vintage All Stars she had found in a shop at the Citadel. No one was bound to be hanging out in the kitchen at this time so why bother with the fancy uniform she wore during the day? Her white tank top and the baggy sports pants would have to do.

Shuffling around the kitchen preparing her coffee she heard something move behind her back.

"That's an interesting look." The informant joked.

Turning around she grinned. "I thought I was the only one raiding the kitchen at this hour. I didn't know there was a dress code."

Miranda smiled as she passed her grabbing a mug. "It's just different to see you so casual."

"Yeah well, I wish I could say the same." Rue muttered watching the informant move about in her cat suit.

Miranda chuckled, pouring the sugary flakes into a bowl filled with milk before turning towards her. Rue narrowed her eyes at the informant who seemed to be observing her intently where she stood eating her midnight snack.

"So I guess I'm not the only one who can't sleep."

"This ship never sleeps, Shepard." Miranda said before walking back to her office, throwing the commander one last look before turning the corner a sly smile playing in her lips as she spoke softly. "And if you know where to look, you can see my one and only tattoo."

Rue chortled before sitting down at the large table in the dining area. Miranda was teasing her, but did she really mean any of it? Drinking her coffee slowly she remembered how quiet the old Normandy had been, not even half as many crew members working on her as there were on this ship. Looking around the kitchen area she had to admit they had done a damn good job at upgrading this ship. Not only was it exactly the same as SSV Normandy, it was even better with all new upgrades and the size of it was like nothing she had ever seen before for a ship like this. She closed her eyes remaining seated for a long time before she got back up again filling her mug with water. The headache just wouldn't go away. Sighing she walked back to her quarters feeling the head ache pound unpleasantly inside her head.

Groaning she placed her mug of water on her desk, rubbing her temples softly. The headaches were getting worse and it seemed it had increased since they got back from Horizon. Kaidan Alenko's face flashed before her. She saw the disappointment in his eyes, and his chastising voice calling her a traitor sill echoed in her head. She saw what he was thinking. _Ashley died for this? _A wave of pain washed over her and she gripped her desk for support. She'd betrayed them all…Ashley's face danced before her eyes, a pained expression on her face. _You killed me. Left me to die. Your family, your entire colony. _This _is what we all died for? A _traitor_. You never saved us, you never saved anyone. _

"No. I'm not…"

_YOU KILLED US ALL!_

"NO!" She screamed as picked up the mug throwing it forcefully across the room. It crashed against the wall with an ear shattering clatter. Rage and frustration surged through her, thousand of images suddenly flashing before her eyes. They were all jumbled and mixed up, her head burning with pain. Clasping her head she fell to her knees, jaws clenched in agony.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

* * *

**AN.** Firstly thanks for all the kind reviews and encouragement to keep updating this little piece of fanfic. And thanks to everyone who has read and subscribed and faved this one. :)

Ok, so I know in the game you only go three crew members at the time, but this is _my _fic so I'm going to use them as I would have liked to be able to use them in the game. ;) This chapter was kind of very much about Shepard and Miranda trying to figure each other out and learning things about the other, therefore the title of the chapter. :)

Hope you had a great New Year and that you like the update.

What will happen to Rue, I wonder, will her head explode or will someone come to her rescue?

We'll see, we'll see… ;)

Till next time!

~Elmjuniper


	6. The Ice Queen

_I remember the terror I felt at the prospect of talking to this fascinating woman. I was never good at communicating with others. That's why I didn't really have any friends. It wasn't just that. I put all my time into my work. There wasn't anytime for love. I was content until Rue came along. _

**THE ICE QUEEN**

"DIRECTOR." EDI'S VOICE WOKE MIRANDA up and she sat up slowly, still dazed with sleep.

"EDI? What is it?"

"Shepard's memory is suffering severe overload. She will enter catatonic lockdown if it is not stopped immediately."

Tossing her bedcovers aside the Lazarus Project's director was suddenly wide awake as she flew out from her bed, grabbing the grey robe as she bolted towards the door.

"Call Dr Chakwas, NOW!" She ordered as she sprinted down the corridor, her grey silk robe billowing in the air behind her. Turning the corner she stumbled into the elevator.

"What the hell did you do Wilson?" This was not supposed to happen. Shepard should already have regained all her memories. This could only happen if someone had programmed the specific memories to be locked up until they were triggered by something at a later point. It was an experimental technique which had been used as a way to depose of Cerberus' assassins when Cerberus had first started, although unlike the control chip this method never got the clearance to be used. But someone must have programmed Shepard's mind for a catatonic lockdown and Miranda found it hard to believe it could be anyone else but Wilson who had tried to kill both herself and Shepard back at the lab. Not only that, Wilson had been arguing the benefits of that particular method and was well-read on the topic.

Swiping her identity card at Shepard's door the commander's doors slid open and she hurried into the Captain's cabin. Shepard lay curled up on the floor, head clasped desperately in her hands. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she tried breathing through the excruciating pain. The informant had read about this. It was described as having long needles pierce your brain before slowly ripping it out. She rushed up to Shepard falling to her knees, grabbing the commander's face in her hands.

"Commander." She said once, forcefully, trying to get the other woman's attention.

"Commander look at me." She demanded again. The commander didn't respond, but seemed to curl up even more.

"Don't Commander, it will just hurt more." She tried to reason with Shepard. The doors opened behind her back and a newly wake Chakwas rushed into the room.

"This must have been cause by the events at Horizon." The grey-haired woman noted as she stooped by the commander feeling her forehead. Forcing the commander's eyes open she examined her pupils. "Her pupils are extremely dilated. She must regain control of her mind. Try to calm her down."

"Sedatives?"

"No, too dangerous at this stage. It could force the lockdown." Chakwas said looking disturbed.

"Director, the Commander's cerebellum is taking severe damage. If the lockdown is not halted the injuries will be permanent." EDI's voice informed them.

"_Commander_." Miranda tried, her voice rising in desperation. She had brought Shepard back to life, she took an extreme risk back at the research lab waking Shepard up too early, she wasn't about to lose her now to some catatonic lockdown.

Shepard's body started shaking, her breathing becoming more restrained.

"She can't breathe!" The informant exclaimed before grabbing the commander, pulling her into her arms as Chakwas reached for her medical kit pulling out a needle.

"Rue. Rue _please_." Miranda whispered. "Rue come back to me. Just focus on my voice."

The commander seemed to breathe again, small ragged gasps. Miranda felt Shepard's skin burn against her arm as she held her close. "Rue, please come back, damn it, the galaxy needs you. _I _need you. You said you couldn't to this without me, well I can't do this without you either."

The shaking stopped, her breathing slowing, her body relaxing in Miranda's arms.

"Commander Shepard's condition has stabilized. Initial danger has passed." EDI reported as Chakwas carefully injected her with the sedative.

"This should help a little."

Miranda released a sigh in relief as she pressed her lips against Shepard's blood red hair, closing her eyes. "It's alright Shep. It's ok." She wasn't sure whom she was trying to calm down any more, herself or the commander.

"Miranda?" Rue stirred in her arms.

"Ssh…it's ok. Don't try to move."

"Ok." Rue muttered before she fell into a restless sleep.

~•~

"Ugh." Rue's eyes fluttered to life, her head feeling like she had taken Miranda's suggestion on that R and R back on Omega. Her mouth was dry and her head felt heavy as if filled with cotton, or maybe bricks. Groaning she rolled over and bumped into something next to her. Looking she saw the informant who lay curled up on top of her cover at the edge of the bed wrapped in her silk robe.

"What the…" Rue scratched her head sitting up wondering how much of that R and R she had had before remembering last night's event. Looking over at the informant she felt stupid. What on earth had happened? One minute she was running through the day's event in her head, the next she laid curled up crying like a baby on the floor, her whole body trembling in pain. She blushed slightly in embarrassment. Swallowing thickly she remembered something else from the night before and she wondered if she perhaps had imagined it. Looking over at the informant she saw Miranda's chest rising and falling slowly, eyes fluttering behind soft eyelids. She looked different, not as dark and on guard. Her long legs were well-toned, and Rue felt a pang of guilt as she admired what she saw. This was inappropriate. Slipping out of the bed silently she put the cover on the sleeping informant, smiling as she moved towards her desk, careful not to awaken her. Miranda worked hard, harder than most of them, sitting behind her desk until the early hours, moving about the Normandy to make sure things were running smoothly, so Rue figured the informant needed all the sleep she could get. Rue suspected Miranda had stayed in her room to keep a watchful eye on her and falling asleep had been the last thing she wanted to do, especially in the captain's cabin. The informant knew full-well, as did Rue, the gossip something like this could start. Rue also knew Miranda wasn't like…_that_. Didn't Jacob say they used to be an item? Not that she cared…

Deciding that it was too early to be awake without caffeine in her veins she walked over to the nifty little coffee machine she had bought at Omega before they left. The coffee it made wasn't as nice as Mess Sergeant Gardner made it, but it would have to do for now, besides she couldn't be bothered squeezing into her uniform just yet. Sitting down in her leather chair she sipped on her coffee as she eyed her sleeping Second in Command. Watching her she wondered why so many referred to her as a bitch. Wilson's 'Icequeen' comment she could understand, but bitch? From experience Miranda was far from a bitch. Focused – yes. Bitch – not so much. Maybe not a people person, but that still didn't make her a bitch.

Lindsay Coleman. Now _that _was a real bitch. She had tormented Rue when she first arrived to the Alliance base, scrawny and gangly. Dirty from her brawl with the Batarians before the Alliance troop had found her. Lindsay had been everyone's nemesis at N7's Special Forces program, making everyone's life as miserable as she possibly could. Lindsay was book smart and deviously manipulative, but she wasn't a fighter, not like Rue. Coleman would use her talents to belittle others, suppress them with her arrogant and malicious attitude. _And that is probably why she's head of the Alliance military's Educational Board. _Rue thought to herself huffing at the thought of Lieutenant Coleman sitting there behind the Educational Board's oval desk smiling her self-satisfied smirk.

Miranda wasn't like that. She made difficult decisions very few people had to make, sometimes endangering her subordinates' lives, and she worked for an organisation which Rue regarded with suspicion, but she did it for the right reasons, she did it for an idealistic goal and Rue had seen her defend Cerberus who clearly had her trust. She was fiercely loyal to what she believed in. The informant had a darker side as well, which surfaced every now and then. The dark side that kept telling the informant she wasn't good enough. Insecurity, and anger, sometimes resentment and bitterness were displayed in the informant. Funny, how someone like Miranda would be insecure. Although if there was one thing Rue knew about people – and knowing people was what she did best second to delivering headshots from hell, it was that no matter who one was you would always inhabit some sense of insecurity. Big, small, fat, thin, ugly, stunning, one of these was always accompanied with doubt in oneself. Does he want me because of my looks? Am I too fat to wear this shirt? Am I too nice? Too bold? The list could be made long. Still she hadn't expected it when she first met the informant.

Miranda was beyond beautiful and well-aware of it. She had the dark, raven-hair and the milky skin, always wearing subtle make up appearing to have the perfect complexion by nature. She moved with an arrogant authority, head held high, icy eyes gazing down on men who in height towered her, this made her even more sensual, and when she walked into a room she was the centre of attention, all heads turning her way.

The informant stirred to life and Rue grabbed a mug of coffee before approaching. Sitting down in the chair next to the bed she grinned as Miranda glanced about the room in bewilderment. Realizing where she was she sat up quickly, pulling her robs close. Rue held out the mug to Miranda who took it staring awkwardly at her in silence.

"I know this isn't what people usually ask someone like you…but what are you doing in my bed?" Rue said lightly.

"Someone like me?" Miranda smiled in amusement.

"Well, someone who's genetically modified to be beau…" Rue fell silent as Miranda quirked her eyebrow smiling into her mug. "'…to be you." Rue smiled impishly.

The informant chuckled before turning serious. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm just fine." Rue said reassuringly.

"Yes, I've heard that before…" Getting up from the bed Miranda leant over to where Shepard was sitting, grabbing her face gently between her hands.

"Miranda…?"

"Relax, I'm just making sure… no, Shepard look at me." Miranda ordered as Shepard tried to squirm out of her grip. Miranda's blue eyes locked with her own and Rue felt something stir inside her as the informant stared into her eyes with a distant thoughtful gaze.

"Uhh…"

Rue's confused mumble seemed to snap Miranda back to reality and she laughed a little nervously as she let go of the Rue's face. "Yes, well you seem to be just fine, but I think we should run some tests at the lab with Mordin and Dr Chakwas before our next mission."

Rue chuckled. "I guess this time a simple 'trust me' won't do?"

"No it _won't_." Miranda answered dryly as she moved towards the door.

"I…I have a uniform in case you don't want the others to see you…in your sleeping clothes."

"That would be very nice of you." Miranda said sounding a little surprised.

Rue got up and walked over to her armour locker grabbing her Cerberus uniform handing it over to the informant. "The bathroom is just over there."

She nodded and disappeared into the bathroom before emerging minutes later wearing Rue's uniform. Rue frowned, she didn't know how Miranda did it, but it seemed even the slightly too big uniform fit her just as perfectly as the cat suit she usually wore.

"Thanks Shepard. I'll have it washed and returned to you as soon as I get back."

"Don't worry about it, just glad I could help."

"Oh, and I'm sorry I fell asleep in your bed, I do realize the impropriety of it, but I assure you I meant to keep watch on you, but accidentally…"

"Miranda. It's fine. Honestly, I could think of worse things to wake up to." Rue said in her calm voice smiling reassuringly. Miranda nodded before moving to leave as Rue turned her back walking over to her desk.

Feeling the informant's eyes on her back she turned around to see Miranda observe her.

"What?" She asked narrowing her eyes.

"I spent the last two years putting you back together. I've read every single file there is to find about you. I know the precise percentage of bionics in your body, I even know the exact measurements of your heart, yet…I know nothing about you." The informant said where she stood.

Rue was slightly taken aback by Miranda's statement. She had not expected it. She'd expected Miranda to simply say she was evaluating her posture or god knows what it was the informant evaluated, or anything. Anything but that.

"I…there's really not a lot to know. It's all in the files."

Miranda's expression softened. "No. It isn't." She said quietly before leaving the Captain's cabin, returning to her office.

~•~

"Damn it!" Miranda banged her fist into the solid desk, leaning into it before pushing away from the desk pacing around her cabin.

What was happening to her? This was a disaster! She already knew what it was, but she refused to give into it. She _didn't do _infatuation. She followed procedure, stuck to the mission. _This_ – this was not following procedure. This was involving her emotions and she didn't do that – thus the nickname Ice queen. And even if she did it she most certainly never showed it. With Shepard it seemed she had done everything, but to stick to her own procedure and values. Shepard was her commander, Normandy's captain. They were on a suicide mission. There was no time for this sort of distraction!

She stopped in her tracks. Whatever this thing, this _feeling _was, it had to stop. It had snuck upon her and she had been so unfocused she hadn't even noticed. She chided herself. Shepard got under her skin. Miranda had no idea how she did it, but she was there with her charming smile and arrogant attitude, questioning her, challenging her. It infuriated the informant and intrigued her at the same time. And Shepard was reckless! She wasn't the type you _liked_. Shepard was the type you avoided, and for good reason and either way, she –Miranda Lawson– did _not _do… anything that had to do with whatever this was.

Falling asleep in the commander's bed had been nothing, a simple mistake she couldn't have cared less had it been anyone else, but for a reason she rather not think of, falling asleep in Shepard's bed had been a grave mistake.

"Stop thinking about it!" She growled to herself as she sat down on her own bed, hands on her hips, face screwed up into a scowl.

She let herself be relaxed in Shepard's presence just as she had only moments ago when evaluating Shepard's condition. Miranda had examined the commander as best she could, her eyes looked normal, the scars on her face were healing quite well, and the tissue seemed to be coping well. She had studied her face, her eyes returning to Rue's locking with them. Rue had the rarest, green eyes she had seen. They almost seemed to penetrate her with their lazy, yet calculating gaze. She had tried to mask her surprise at the tingle of interest she had felt as she stared into the commander's eyes. And then Rue had done it. Shown her caring considerate side and the words had just slipped across the informant's lips before she could think any better of it.

Groaning as she lay on to her back she covered her face in frustration with her hands before sighing deeply. Regardless of what she felt or didn't feel, Shepard didn't feel the same…she was in love with the Asari –Liara. Miranda had seen the framed photograph on the commander's desk in her office next to her private computer. She had seen and felt the emotions that had connected them when Liara shared her memories in the meld with Miranda so that the Lazarus Project could restore all Shepard's memories completely intact, with no alterations. There was no room for any romantic interest in Shepard's life. To make matters worse she was sure the crew would be gossiping about why they had seen her in Shepard's uniform coming from the Captain's cabin so early in the morning. Exhaling sharply she got off her bed walking to her shower. No matter what she was feeling, it was back to work in an hour and that meant she had to be the normal focused Miranda they all knew –the Ice Queen.

Catching a glimpse of her reflection as she passed the mirror she didn't see what the others saw. The only thing she saw was a woman who had no desire to be the Ice Queen today. In fact, it would be nice to be just Miranda just as she was in Rue's presence. She rolled her eyes at herself. She was behaving like a teenage high school girl. This was ridiculous and it would stop this instant.

"You're _not _interested in the Commander." She said, nodding to her reflection as if to confirm it before stepping into the hot shower.

~•~

Rue was wearing her Cerberus casual uniform matching the rest of Normandy's crew as she stepped out from the elevator, giving a quick wave and smile to the sweet yeoman. This suit was much more comfortable and reminded her of what she used to wear on the old Normandy, but her other uniform however was of a more authoritarian character and gave the crew members a sense of duty towards her so she had decided to keep it on regardless of whether she liked it or not. It was all part of her role as the Normandy's captain, the leader of the ship. The uniform was a sign of competence and a marker of respect. But the uniform was just part of it, she had to adjust her voice when talking, choose her words carefully, keep her posture straight and proud to show she would never waver, or falter, never fail her crew. This made giving orders easier, even if they were not always the most pleasant orders. It kept morale up and crew members loyal.

With the core members of her unit it was slightly different. She needed them to be personal, and in return she had to be personal with them. It was a fine line to draw and she always had to assess the moment when choosing to enter that stage of their relationship. Entering the com room seeing the informant she silently wondered whether that point had come in regards to their relationship. Garrus was already loyal to her, and so was Joker which showed in how they interacted with each other. They only called her Commander when others were around, but never when it was just the three of them. Jacob was a little more difficult to get to know, especially since he wasn't a man of many words. Jack, her eyes fell on the heavily tattooed woman, now that would be an interesting case. Rue suspected that to gain Jack's loyalty one had to beat it into her, but being the commander that wasn't really an option. She'd have to take things extremely slow with Jack. Grunt. Well, all she would have to do was to try and help him figure out his place and things would work out –she hoped. Otherwise it wasn't anything her gun couldn't handle.

Miranda and Jacob were overlooking the artificial map of their next destination, the Jarrahe Station, discussing with Garrus which entries would be best to use. Rue eyed the map with the small markers. Walking up to the informant who stood at the navigation point of the map, stopping behind her Rue pointed to an unmarked area of the map, her chest and arm rubbing against the informant as she did so.

"That one. It's the most subtle one and won't be heavily guarded –if guarded at all." She swiped with her hand in the air and the map rotated. "Let's send our second unit that way for distraction. First team will slip into the station and find out anything of valuable information."

"What about the west entrance?" Garrus asked pointing towards a small dot on the map.

"Too small I reckon." Jacob cut in.

"I agree. It's settled then." Concentrating Rue hadn't noticed how close she was standing to the informant who had turned her face to look at her with a half-annoyed, half-embarrassed look upon her face.

"Oh." Rue took a step backwards giving her an apologetic nod before putting in the coordinates into the small navigator. "Joker, sending the coordinates now."

"Got it Commander. We'll be touching ground in forty minutes." Joker's voice instructed them.

"Good job Joker. Now, anyone have any questions, otherwise I suggest you get ready." Rue looked at the crew members to make sure no one was sitting on a question not wanting to ask it. She saw the flash of a grin on Jack's face and before she could say anything the convict hopped off the ledge she'd been sitting on.

"Yeah, how about telling us why little Ms Cheerleader was sneaking out from your room this morning."

Garrus scratched the back of his head trying to melt into the wall. If Rue and Jack got into a brawl he had no intention of hanging around. Grunt did what he did best and grunted uninterested whereas Mordin wrung his hands anxiously. She could feel Jacob's eyes burn at the side of her face as she calmly spoke.

"She was simply evaluating my biotics for this mission."

"So _that's _why she wore your uniform when she left?" Jack said as she strode up to Rue. "I bet she was a real good fuck."

Rue groaned inwardly wishing she could throw her fist into Jack's face, but knew it would only make matters worse and undermine her credibility.

"Jack. I don't care for you little games, I've got a galaxy to save, now you cut the crap or I'll see to it that we drop you off at the next place we stop at – which is the abandoned Jarrahe Station."

"Bullshit Shepard! Cerberus paid a fortune to get me."

"Not even a third of what they paid for me." Rue answered dryly. Jack balled her fists, glaring angrily at Rue before leaving the com room. Turning to the rest of the crew Rue quirked her eyebrow in annoyance, folding her arms across her chest.

"Well, what are you all waiting for?"

The rest of the crew along with Miranda piled out from the com room leaving Rue to stare at the map. Releasing a sigh she leant into the square map station. She was already having trouble gaining Jacob's trust and now Jack had probably made it near impossible for her. She shrugged. Wasn't much she could do about it right now. They were heading into an unknown territory and she had to focus on the mission.

Walking out from the com room she saw the informant waiting for her.

"Shepard, I think it would be best, considering the circumstances if you put me in a separate group from you." Miranda said in her business-like tone.

"Isn't that a bit drastic?"

"I think it would emphasis that there is _nothing _going on between the two of us."

"And who said there was?" Rue said discontent.

"From now on I think it's best if we just stick to procedure and to the mission. Come see me if you need help with reports or the mission, but…" Miranda hesitated before continuing. "But our private conversations should be kept to a limit."

Rue stared at Miranda. _One_ remark and the informant runs into hiding, tail between her legs? Why would anyone even consider the possibility of anything going on between them? Besides wasn't she already occupied with being ice-cold and detached from the rest of the world? Rue felt her temper rising.

"Fine. As you wish." She said, her jaws clenching in anger before she walked past Miranda. If that was how the informant wanted it then so be it. She didn't have time for this sort of drama anyway. It was better this way. Right? Walking towards the Galaxy map her eyes fell on the ginger yeoman who turned to look at her before smiling shyly turning away. _Much better this way_.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

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**AN. **I have this idea about Miranda and Liara having done one of those melds Liara did with Shepard in ME1 to retrieve the information in Shepard's head on the Protheans so that Miranda could restore all her memories. Wilson however locked some of them away in an attempt to make sure Shepard entered lockdown should he fail to kill her on the Lazarus research station. So that's what the meld is about. :)

Thanks to those of you who have reviewed this story, all criticism is welcome, good, bad, although pure mean ones –maybe not so much. :P like someone once said, "Nobody likes fire." ;) And thanks to anyone who's faved, subscribed and, well yeah you know, basically taken the time of your day to read this. :)

Hope you like the update. :)

Till next time!

~Elmjuniper


	7. Playing By The Rules

_For a long time I tried to resist her. She was not what I was used to, yet everything I ever wanted. I tried to be reasonable, tried to remember what we were up against, but in her presence I couldn't think clearly. _

**PLAYING BY THE RULES**

"So tell me Shep, _why did _Miranda leave your cabin wearing your uniform?" Joker asked where he sat opposite Rue in the crew quarter's mess. They had returned safely from the abandoned Jarrahe Station, a couple of thousand credits richer and with a nice batch of Platinum for Normandy's upgrades.

"If I told you -I'd have to kill you." She answered dryly picking at her food with her fork. There was nothing wrong with the food. Mess Sergeant Gardner had a way of turning the blandest ingredients into the most spectacular dish, but Rue just didn't feel like eating. Rue had obliged to Miranda's wishes of not being in the same unit as her and limited their conversations to idle talk about the mission and nothing else. To say she felt annoyed was an understatement. She leant back into her chair. She couldn't see why this would bother her in the first place anyway. She frowned. Miranda had gone from opening up to her, letting Rue scrape at the top layer of who she was, then after Jack's little display in the Com room she'd once again distanced herself from the rest of the group. Rue was more annoyed with herself than with Miranda. What did she expect? She'd enjoyed the subtle pace their friendship had taken and the way the informant sometimes looked at her, but it was foolish trying to bond with someone as unearthly as Miranda. She snorted at the expression before looking up seeing Joker grinning at her.

"What?" She asked suspiciously.

"Oh nothing." He said dismissively in that voice he knew would make Rue ridiculously curious.

"Did I ever mention I _died_ saving your ass? Least you could do is to tell me." Rue said with a smirk on her face as she put the fork in her mouth.

"Hey, wait a minute! That's not fair." Joker protested.

"I know. I always imagined sacrificing myself for the greater good or at least a really pretty girl. But a lazy brittle bone…" She huffed disapprovingly.

"Oh my god Rue, you're just as funny as EDI. Oh, wait, that's probably because you were created by the same company."

"See, I don't even get to die in peace. Little brittle boy." She teased as Joker feigned a most believable fake crying. Patting his arm Rue withdrew her hand quickly.

"Oh my god, I didn't break anything?"

"Only my heart." Joker said forlornly causing Rue to laugh.

"It's a good thing I know this is how the two of you interact with each other, otherwise I would have been slightly worried." Kelly Chambers said sweetly jolting them both upright.

Rue cleared her throat turning serious again trying to think of something to say that would make her sound as if she wasn't actually making high school jokes with her helmsman.

"Chambers, you got any reports for me?"

Kelly glanced down at her tray. "No…but I've got a tray with food, and I've been told I'm really nice company." She said winking.

"Well, you got the Commander all to yourself. I'm off to bicker with the AI from hell." Joker sighed before stalking off towards the elevator shooting Rue a gleeful look then looking at Kelly, whistling a tune as he left.

Kelly quirked her eyebrow. "All to myself, aren't I the lucky girl?"

Rue chuckled following the yeoman with her eyes as she sat down. Kelly Chambers was the Cerberus yeoman who in secret evaluated everyone's psychological health. Her face was slightly square with soft lines, she had big green eyes full of life and passion, and she always wore a big smile on her plump lips. Kelly always spoke so cheerfully sounding as if nothing could possibly ruin her day or when a new member arrived she spoke with such innocent concern and care Rue thought Kelly surely must have been a lab creation like herself, just made from sugar and cake. Although admittedly Rue liked this about the ginger yeoman, whenever she spoke to Kelly she felt as if things weren't actually that bad.

"I don't know. Are you?" Rue asked flirtatiously.

Kelly narrowed her eyes, still smiling as she tilted her head. "So tell me Commander, what would you say if I said I wasn't, but I'd like to be?"

Rue leaned forward locking eyes with the sweet yeoman. "Well, we can't really have that now, can we?"

"No, I don't think we can." Kelly said biting her bottom lip in a seductive smile, her emerald eyes twinkling. "You know what they say about crew morale Commander, don't you?" She added.

"I do, but I could need some pointers." Rue hinted.

"How about I give you some? Strictly as your yeoman of course." Kelly teased.

"So are you always this helpful with people you meet?" Rue asked in amusement at their small banter.

"Only with the special ones." Kelly winked looking sly.

"You have many of those?"

"A whole squad."

"A _whole _squad?" Rue raised her eyebrow.

"Yes, people swarm around me like criminals to Omega."

"I have no doubt about that." Rue agreed causing Kelly to giggle sweetly. "So what else don't I know about you?"

"I think that would be too much to tell you over lunch, but I grew up on earth and was handpicked by the Illusive Man for this mission, and I have this ridiculous fascination with spaceship modelling."

"What? Do my ears deceive me? Did a pretty girl just say she likes spaceship modelling?" Rue interrupted, her face suddenly childishly curious.

"Ah, so you think I'm pretty, do you?" Kelly smiled, glowing slightly.

"Heh..." Rue chuckled. "You are, but you also mentioned spaceship modelling."

Kelly blushed slightly. "I know, not the coolest trait, but I grew up with my brother and our cousin -Haze, an obnoxious older boy, and the only time we didn't fight was when my day brought home a new model to build."

"I use to build them together with my father before he died, and it kind of stuck." Rue said remembering the excitement every time her father found a new model for them to start building together.

"It's just so theraputical." Kelly said almost a little surprised.

"So _that's_ what you do to stay so calm all the time?"

"No for that I do something completely else, but it's much more fun with someone else."

She was cheeky this Kelly, and Rue found she liked the girl's appreciation. Not a lot of the crew men had the guts to be as forthright as Kelly and it was refreshing to see.

"What's the most advanced thing you've built?"

Kelly's eyes shone with excitement as she pondered the question for a while. "Without doubt -The Nimbus 2000."

"That is impressive indeed." Rue agreed before setting down the glass she'd been drinking from. "Come on I've got something to show you." She said standing up.

Looking a little surprised the yeoman smiled before pushing out from the table. "Lead the way Commander."

"Commander, is it now, huh?" Rue snorted, a grin tugging at the corner of her mouth earning herself a giggle from the yeoman.

"Excuse me Commander." Rue recognized the informant's voice where they stood waiting for the elevator. Turning around she saw Miranda walk up to them looking slightly fidgety.

"Shepard."

"Lawson?"

"You've got an appointment with me in five minutes and I really need you to finish those reports."

"You really need them now? I was kind of..." She gestured towards Kelly. "Busy."

Annoyance flashed in the informant's eyes. "Busy?"

Rue opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the yeoman.

"It's alright Commander, I'm sure you've got lots to do, perhaps another time?"

Rue nodded apologetically. "Dinner later tonight?"

"Dinner sounds nice. I'll see you later then." Kelly smiled bashfully before entering the elevator, giving a small wave as the doors shut.

Turning to the informant she crossed her arms. "So what's so important about this appointment?"

"You should come to my office and see the results of the tests Mordin ran on you." Miranda answered flatly as she turned to walk back towards her office.

~•~

"_This_ is what's so important?" Rue asked where she sat in Miranda's office staring at the x-ray scans of her brain. It looked just like it had all the other times in life when she'd been through a scan.

"Yes Shepard! Can't you see?" The informant asked in annoyance pointing at what looked like the back of Rue's brain. "This area has grown a substantially larger amount of cells than the average human brain."

"Fascinating." Rue said dryly.

"Shepard." Miranda said sharply. "This means you'll have a far more advanced brain than even geniuses."

"That's really awesome Lawson. I'm glad that your project turned out well. Now if you'll excuse me I've got reports to write." She replied slightly bitterly, pushing to her feet. Why was it that the only time Miranda seemed eager to talk to her was when she wanted to evaluate Rue as her subject?

"Do you need help with those?"

"What?"

"Your reports...do you want some help writing them? I could help you." Miranda offered, her voice sounding a little softer.

Rue squinted her eyes in bewilderment. One minute the informant hardly wanted them to converse outside the frames of the mission and had kept her distance from Rue barely even looking at her. And suddenly she was being that considerate Miranda Rue had seen during her overload.

"What?" Miranda asked looking suspicious.

"Nothing, I was just thinking that...actually I could need some help."

"Good. Let's see what you've got so far."

"Mir...Lawson, they're in my room..."

"Well, you'd better get moving then if you want to be done before your dinner tonight then." The informant said before leaving her office.

Sighing heavily Rue shook her head in confusion. _I guess reports are considered strictly work_.

~•~

Miranda walked silently next to the commander. She wasn't sure what had possessed her to interrupt Shepard and Kelly earlier in the manner she had. It was out of character and foolish. Shepard had honoured her wishes to stay as focused on the mission as possible without any distraction from their private lives. Still, when she saw Rue with Kelly it had annoyed her greatly. She saw the way Rue leaned forward making sure Kelly knew exactly what it was she wanted, and how Kelly had responded to her flirtations. Miranda had walked by their table at least three times to catch her attention. Shepard hadn't even noticed once. Shepard _always _noticed her. So she resorted to pull the work-card on Shepard.

She snorted. It hadn't been a complete lie that those reports were needed, they were, it just wasn't as urgent as she might have let on.

The heavy metal doors slid open as if they weighed no more than feathers, the familiars hissing sound reminding her of the bus she used to take to school back on earth. The room looked just like it had before, tidy and...bare. As she let her gaze sweep across the room Miranda noticed how the room seemed to lack something.

"Do you always keep your room so..."

"Tidied?" Rue filled in as she rummaged around one of her drawers.

"No, I was thinking more of the lack of things." Miranda said as her eyes fell on a pile of nicely stacked comics. The informant smiled as she let her fingers slip across the shiny cover. _Vaulters Vigilance_. She remembered that comic, she used to read it all the time. The comic was centred on a young woman -Marley, an archaeology student who stumbles upon a rare object on one of her dig sites. Touching it she is teleported back in time, three days before the shooting of her parents. At that point she does not yet realize she has gained the ability to time vault, changing the course of time, stopping crimes, helping fate. But time vaulting isn't appreciated by everyone and Marley soon find herself hunted by both the government and a secret agency. Racing against time to uncover the truth about her parents' murder and stay alive Marley experiences great adventures, love, loss, happiness and joy.

"Ever read them?" The commander's voice jolted her back to reality.

"It was the one thing I had that my father didn't forbid me to do." She said as she eyed the detailed cover, remembering the loneliness she had felt when she was younger, and that she sometimes still could feel. Her father hadn't allowed her to have any friends, or be part of the school play, or play the piano. There were a lot of things she had missed out, constantly pushed to be the best, to out-think everyone in her class, to finish with top grades. She had defied him though and gotten herself some friends she spent time with during school, and she did take part in the school play, practicing whenever he or his beady-eyed assistants weren't around.

"Your dad forbade you to do a lot of things?"

"He always tried to, but hardly succeeded." Miranda chuckled. "He was rich, influential, but rarely had time for his creation." She snorted before catching her tongue. Why was she telling Shepard this?

"That can't have been easy Lawson, growing up with an absentee father figure." The commander stated where she sat.

"Sometimes it wasn't so bad."

_"Second best? _Second best Miranda? _I bought you the best education one could think of, I gave you the best genes. Genes some people could only dream of and you give me second best? This is _not _what I created you for." _ Most of the time she felt safer when her father wasn't around, and she felt less pressured to perform like some well-trained pet when he wasn't there. At the same time she longed for his approval, thrived for the rush when her father would appraise her for her achievements. It was a strange relationship, and as much as she thought of him as her father, she also thought of him as her creator. Parts of her had admired the mind behind what he had accomplished with her until the day she found out about Oriana. That day she realized the monster he was and she knew –she had to get out. Get them both out of there.

"Miranda? Are you alright?" Shepard's green eyes studied her with concern.

Miranda frowned. "Of course I am." _What are you doing to me? _

"Are you looking for your reports?" Miranda asked pointing at the pile of dossiers to the commander's left at the sight of Shepard still searching her drawers for something.

Rue frowned before grinning charmingly. Could she stop doing that?

"Reports? No, but something to eat."

"What? But you just ate."

"Yes, but I eat when I get bored and this...well is going to be boring."

"Oh...thanks..." Miranda muttered.

"Not spending time with you." Rue smiled impishly and Miranda -much to her dismay- found herself grinning into the floor before walking up leaning against the desk next to Rue.

"Give it to me." She said holding out her hand.

"Give you _what_?" Rue asked with a certain edge to her voice before she realized that she had.

_The constant flirt_. Miranda rolled her eyes at the commander. "Your reports hand them over."

"Here you go, knock yourself out." Shepard said sarcastically.

"Wow, this is absolutely…" Miranda eyed through the dossiers. "Terrible, Rue."

Shepard looked op from her drawer at the sound of her name.

"Rue?" Green eyes sparkling with mischief.

_You're losing control Miri. _"I meant Commander." She said quietly not taking her eyes off the dossiers.

"Mm-hm." Rue grunted before grabbing one of the dossiers. "Ugh, they do need proper revising, don't they?"

"They do." Miranda said pretending to read the dossier intently, as she studied the commander. Shepard was different from other soldiers. She wasn't as hardened and weathered and when she wore her own clothes she looked no older then twenty-five. She looked young where she sat and Miranda could almost imagine what Shepard had looked like as a young teenage girl. She wondered what she had been like though, before the Batarian raiders. How had it changed her?

Miranda's eyes followed the commander's profile, trailing along the nose bridge, across the petite-looking tip, the soft, slightly parted lips, down her chin till where jaw became neck. Strands of Rue's long, blood-red hair twisted and turned from her pony tail and it was a nice contrast to her pale skin.

Shepard was typing something, looking thoughtful and Miranda found herself wondering where Shepard had learnt to fight. Did it come naturally or had she learnt from someone in her family? It made the informant feel slightly bitter. Rue was skillful and talented, and fiercely brave. All that she had achieved she had done on her own, but Miranda…All her achievements had been bought by perfect genes. She hadn't learnt how to wield a gun and take a head shoot from yards away, her father had made sure it would already be programmed into her to do it.

"Can you please stop that." Rue said as she turned on her chair to face her.

"Excuse me?" Miranda snapped back to reality lifting her head to meet the commander's gaze.

"You've been staring at me for the past two hours, and whatever you're evaluating, could you please stop? It's kind of creeping me out."

Miranda laughed in spite of herself secretly relieved Shepard had no clue as to why she had been staring like a fool. Rue scrunched up her nose as she rolled up to Miranda in her chair taking a bite from the sugary pastry she held in her hand before adding it on the top of Miranda's dossiers..

"Take it. You seem to need it."

"It's sugar." Miranda noted her brows knitting together in a frown.

"Yes, it's sweet. Highly addictive, but you'll regret not trying it." Shepard said where she sat seizing her up.

Suddenly standing up Shepard loomed close to her as she picked up the pastry holding it in front of her face. "Come on Lawson. You know you want to."

_Of course I want to!_ "Fine, but if I get fat…I'm blaming you." She muttered before taking a bite. _What am I doing? _The pastry was sweet like a heavenly delight and she closed her eyes momentarily letting the taste of the sweet pastry ensue her senses.

"I told you so." Rue murmured where she stood only inches away.

Biting her bottom lip Miranda let her eyes stay closed revelling in the closeness of the commander before she took a deep breath, opening them. They shouldn't be doing this. She shouldn't be here. She had set the rules and now she wasn't playing by them and Rue…she was so close, too close. Setting down the dossiers on the table she slowly eased away to the side from the commander.

"I…will finish these off in my office. You should get ready for your dinner."

Shepard cleared her throat before sitting down on her chair. "Ok, thank you Miranda."

Giving the commander a small nod she left her room as quickly as she could, not breathing until she stood on her own in the elevator again. What on earth was happening to her?

~•~

Her office was dark when she returned, nothing but the dull buzz from the hull sounding in her empty room. Putting down the dossiers she saw something flicker on her screen. One new message. _Your gun has been sold_. She re-read the subject, her stomach churning in fear. They had found Oriana.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

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**

**AN. **Hey everyone and oh my sweetness, thank you SO much for all the reviews. I could hardly believe the wonderful and very helpful feedback you guys and girls have been giving me. Thank you!

Sorry this update took a little longer, I've been ill and had lots of work to do. I hope you like the update though. Thank you again for all the helpful and kind reviews. I love it when you let me know what you think of the chapters and where the story is going and who you think it is writing the notes at the top of every chapter. Thank you to all of you who have added to faves, subscribed, and read. :)

So, Miranda, Miranda, making the rules, but not playing by them. Isn't that called cheating? ;)

Take care everyone.

~Elmjuniper


	8. Children Of The Heavenly Father

**DISCLAIMER:** Mass Effect and everything you recognize from the game belongs to BioWare. Everything else is just my lovely imagination.

**AN:** Again thanks for the reviews and feedback and for all the faves and subscription and for reading. I'm sorry this one took quite a while as well, but work has been crazy.

Ok, in my fiction Rue has never been to earth, because the N7 program is based on the Arctus Station which serves as the Alliance capital.

Oh, and I'm still missing a beta so please for give any mistakes and misspellings, or grammatical errors. Do feel free to point them out for me. And for my readers who are not members and cannot subscribe, add me on twitter (supernerdme) and you can find out from there when there's been an update and updates on the books, and the Dragon Age fanfics. All you others are of course also welcome to add me. :)

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the update. Please Read and review. It makes me happy. :)

~Elmjuniper

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_I remember the first time she touched me, how the tips of her fingers burned on my skin, how it stirred my desires to life. It was the same thing with her eyes. Those green, emerald orbs would penetrate me and for a split second I felt naked in her presence._

_._

_._

**CHILDREN OF THE HEAVENLY FATHER**

THE MAN WAS AS STRIKING as he was arrogant. Ocean blue eyes staring coldly at the photos that lay spread out across his thick wooden desk. The office was large, but dim lit, forest green carpet covering the floor. His black polished shoe gleamed on top of it as he clasped his hands together in front of him on the mahogany desk, lifting his gaze towards the large screen in front of him.

"Connect Mr. Harper." He commanded, pulling out one of the photos. The blue globe rotated fashionably on the large screen as it connected to the Galaxy Net.

"Larkin Hannoway." The silver-haired man greeted him politely as he spun in his chair facing his caller, letting the smoke seep from the corner of his mouth.

"Jack." The man said holding up the photo. He could see the man was less than pleased to see him. Larkin smirked. Always the touchy type. He thought to himself as he studied the man in front of him. It was obvious he did not want Larkin to know what ever it was he was doing, but frankly, Larkin couldn't care any less.

"Ah." The man said sucking in the smoke from his cigarette. "I was wondering when you would hear about that."

"Well, I've heard it. Now I want to know what _you _can do for me." He put down the photo on the desk letting his icy blue eyes pierce the Cerberus director.

Putting down his glowing cigarette Jack Harper sat up a little straighter. "What is it that you want?"

"I want _her._" He said coldly, letting his index finger poke the photo on his desk demonstratively.

"I'm afraid I can't help you with that one Larkin." The other man answered as he picked up his cigarette again letting the glowing tip of it fall into the ashtray. "She is our most valuable asset."

"An asset you have only because of me. You let my daughter think I'm out of the picture and I pay you for that. Now I _want _that DNA and you will see to it that it's on my desk by Monday."

"Larkin, that is impossible. The Lazarus station was destroyed along with the lab that hosted the entire storage of the recent DNA we've collected. Including your daughter's might I add."

"Then get it from somewhere else." Larkin Hannoway's voice said coldly emphasizing every single word. "Oh, and Jack, 32.634...is a very simple coordinate to find." He said, sneering self-satisfied as he saw the man stand up from his chair before he broke the connection. He had Jack just where he wanted him.

Larkin Hannoway sneered. Jack had always been so easy to scare even when they were kids growing up together. Out of the two friends Larkin had always been the stronger one. Larkin was the one with money, the bedazzling smile, and charisma. Jack on the other hand had always been struggling in comparison. He was born into a wealthy family as well, but then the new relays opened and suddenly his father's services were no longer needed and Jack's family suddenly found themselves with more expenses than income. This was how Jack's obsession with preserving mankind from the alien threat had started. Larkin shook his head. He had indulged his friend at first though secretly dismissing the idea of a strong organization working for humans and unlike the Alliance didn't mind getting their hands a little dirty.

Moving towards the large estate windows gazing out upon the blood-red sky, the sun slowly settling spreading its soft shimmer across the swaying barley, he couldn't deny the things Cerberus had achieved over the years and Jack had grown into a man followed and admired by many humans. Larkin still knew how to unsettle the man though. Jack was foolish to think he wouldn't keep an eye on whoever was associated with _his _creation. He loosened his tie in satisfaction. Jack was scared enough of Larkin's power. The sample would arrive on Monday and he had much to prepare.

~•~

The Citadel looked as it always had with the exception of Cora's Den being gone. Apparently Miranda didn't mind this at all. Anderson had grabbed Rue's hand fiercely almost pulling her into a hug when he saw her again.

"I'll be damned Skipper!" He laughed, studying her face. Rue had rolled her eyes at the nickname Ashley had given her during their adventures together on the old Normandy. It both made her smile, remembering the good old times, and throw a quick glance at Miranda. The informant had asked her what had triggered the overload, but for some unexplainable reason she didn't feel like sharing those memories. It would make her look weak and the informant might figure out her secret –that she was scared, so she had resigned to answer somewhat evasively, nonetheless she had wondered if Miranda could sense her tense involuntary where she stood.

Rue had -with Miranda's help- explained to Anderson how she had been revived and what they were trying to accomplish. He'd looked troubled, wearing the same concerned expression he had worn so many years before. He'd sighed resolutely explaining that the Council still didn't want to see what was right before their eyes, that to them Shepard was nothing but another specter gone rogue, joining up with the alien hostile organization Cerberus.

"I save their goddamn asses for this? I sacrificed peoples' life!" Rue had raged before the raven-haired informant had placed her hand on Rue's arm turning her raving and ranting into an annoyed mutter. This had caused Anderson to give Rue a strange, but amused look.

"I see someone has learned to tame the lioness with her sometimes insufferable habit of always speaking her mind." He joked before turning back to his desk. The hint of a smile creeping on to the informant's eyes did not escape the commander's emerald eyes.

"I had hoped it wasn't true, that you worked for Cerberus, but clearly they have the means to help you fight the Reapers whereas the Alliance have neither the resources nor the guts to do so. Just be careful out there. Now we shouldn't be seen more together, it might undermine my credibility with the council."

They had left him there and now they stood looking out over the grand Citadel, Rue leaning against the railing next to Miranda who seemed to throw nervous glances around her. Rue frowned. Something was bothering the informant, but this was neither the time nor the place to be asking her so she decided to ask Kelly if she had noticed anything different about Miranda. The rest of the crew was heading back for the Normandy while she and Miranda waited as engineers Donnelly and Daniels fetched the necessary upgrades for the Normandy.

Staring out at the cabs speeding past them and the high rising towers Rue became painfully aware of the informant eyeing her.

"Look, I know I said I'd have the reports done last night, but..."

"Let me guess you were _busy_?" Miranda answered dryly.

Turning towards her Rue fired off a dazzling smile. "Why, Lawson one could think you're..."

"Well don't!" She bit off heatedly before turning her attention back to the Citadel's skyline.

Rue narrowed her eyes.

"Stop scowling at me." The informant muttered refusing to look at her.

"Fine, but I just…well, you seem slightly thrown."

"Did you know, the Citadel reminds me of home." Miranda was trying to change the subject and Rue obliged, nodding at the view. _Home. _She tasted the word. It felt strange and unfamiliar somehow. Yes, Mindoir would be listed as her home planet in her files and at one point in her life it had been her home. She fidgeted in her heavy armour, her weapons strapped securely to her body like a second layer of skin. The planet she had called home, the house she had had called safe, and the family she had called love, all of that had been erased in a matter of hours, her course of life altered for forever. She was supposed to have studied engineering to help her father running the upkeep on the colony, but instead her whole family had been slayed and she now carried all her personal belongings in her big military sack. Everything had changed, for good and bad. So where did that leave her now? She snorted, what did it matter anyway? Chances of coming back to something called home after this suicide mission was...slim. So why even think about it? _Promise me. _Liara's voice rang in her head and she felt the dull ache of regrets beat a little faster. _This is stupid, you can't change the past. _She glanced sideways at the informant. _Well maybe you could use it for future reference..._

"Where's home?"

Miranda laughed softly. "Sometimes I don't remember, but Sydney, Australia."

"Australia? What a strange name…" Rue mused. "Does it look anything like this?" She felt curious of this strange planet –earth. She was a human, yet, she had never been to earth, only seen pictures of it. It looked like any other planet, besides the fact that it was full of humans and no aliens. It was a strange thing, almost as if she didn't quite fit in anywhere. Not on Earth, not in space. Then again, fitting in was never something she did well anyway she thought as she waited for Miranda's answer.

"No, not really, Sydney looks a little like this, but the outskirts of Australia looks…different, beautiful." The informant seemed to drift off for a short moment until Rue broke the silence that had settled.

"So what do you think of the mission so far?"

Miranda looked up from the railing she was leaning on. "Well, you've collected more of the potential squad members by now than I would have expected."

Rue huffed mentally.

"I have to admit...I didn't think you would..."

"Be able to pull it off? I haven't yet."

"Maybe not, but you've come a long way."

"You make me sound like some...invincible hero. I'm not."

"That might be true, but that's how most of the galaxy sees you."

"Want to know a secret? It's all about the outfits. Bedazzle them with your armour and they'll forget the rest." Rue winked, spinning around as she spoke, her arms stretched wide. Miranda chortled shaking her head.

"I'll take whatever I just said back."

"Hey! Is that how quick you cast me aside?"

"I've known people to last for even shorter than that." Miranda said flatly, her blue eyes twinkling and Rue found herself wondering what that twinkle that flashed by in Miranda's eyes meant.

"I suppose this long would earn me an achievement then." Rue grinned before leaning in close towards the informant, whispering in her ear. "And by the way, that swallow you have tattooed is very nice." She let herself linger before moving away, firing off an unarming smile. By the look of the surprised informant she had managed to get under her skin and she laughed inwardly. Miranda really was easy to annoy and childish as it may be, she found she enjoyed it greatly and she gave the annoyed informant a playful nudge before her eyes fell on the Normandy engineers.

"Got everything you need?"

"Yes Commander, also, Yeoman Chambers had me fetch this for you." Gabrielle Daniels said placing a small package in her hand.

Rue laughed at the small spaceship model in her hand. Last night she had promised Kelly that the next time she had a spaceship model to build they'd do it together. Very daring of the yeoman she mused appreciatively.

"Ok, let's get back to the Normandy. We have a lot of work to do. Good job finding these upgrades."

~•~

Miranda paced back and forth in her room glancing at the screen every now and then.

"Damn it Niket, why aren't you answering?" Her father had found Oriana, the message from her informant had been clear. She had read the mail subject over and over last night, her stomach churning in terror. If her father knew where Oriana was it meant he was coming for her, and that meant her sister would be held captive, trained like an animal, experimented on. She remembered her childhood, the painful surgeries, the constant pressure and the isolation. She couldn't let her sister endure something like that. She let her fingertips tap nervously on her arm. She needed to think of something, and fast. Knowing her father she didn't have much time at all.

Stopping in front of her desk she growled in frustration. Why wasn't anybody answering? Neither Lanteia nor Niket had answered any of her messages and she was running out of time. She would have to go after Oriana herself even if it did mean exposing herself to her father, her creator. She sighed heavily before grabbing a handful of old dossiers she wouldn't be needing anymore before heading down the hangar. Instead of pacing around her room she might as well dispose of these dossiers.

The opulent hangar area was empty of crew members, the Normandy's familiar buzzing Miranda's only companion where she stood. Placing out the dossiers on the floor at the far end of the hangar she smiled to herself. This was her secret guilty pleasure. Retreating to the opposite side of the hangar she aimed for one of the dossiers. Building up the biotic power slowly, feeling it grow into a warm sensation in her stomach, until it overflowed erupting from her finger tips. The fist dossier was pulled up into the air then a second attack from her biotics shattered it to nothing but glowing embers. Watching the embers fall towards the floor she remembered using her biotics when she was younger and still untrained. Wielding biotics took a lot more control and effort than what most people realized. At first her biotics had erupted not only from her hands, but all of her had been glowing with the blue biotics. Learning to focus her powers, aiming for and hitting her targets had been difficult even for her and when her master told her she would have to learn how to pull at more than one object at the time she thought surely he must have lost his mind. No one could do that! It was near impossible.

Watching the dossiers from where she stood she levitated and pulled two of them before her other hand thrust them hard against the floor. They crashed and exploded, the dull sound of the explosion bouncing between the hangar's metallic walls. She smiled approvingly of herself. This was much better than deleting the files manually. _Imagine if deleting feelings were as easy._ She thought, grimacing at herself. She tried to avoid the charming commander and she tried her outmost to keep their conversations short and concise only sticking to the mission. She shook her head. She was terrible at this. She set rules, didn't play by them and Rue always managed to get under her skin. It was so infuriating! She sighed. She knew almost anything, how to shoot Geth, the quickest way to kill someone, the Hanoi theory, how to speak at least three different languages, and still… she knew _nothing _of how to handle a situation like this. _What would be the harm? Oh, I don't know, risking the whole mission? Fine, but how would something like that risk it? By making me…her unfocused! Making us lose sight of the mission. Seriously, you would do that? No. but it _could _happen._

"Great, now I'm talking to myself…" She muttered glaring at the dossiers. She repeated her first attack overloading the dossier in the air and it too shattered like a marvelous firework display.

"Not bad."

Startled she spun on her heels to find the commander leaning against one of the large fans, arms folded across her chest, that charismatic, crocked smile on her face.

"Shepard. I didn't hear you come."

"Ah well, the prowess in me." She joked before looking serious. "Actually I came here because Kelly told me I should talk to you, and EDI, well she's just a big snitch so she told me where to find you."

Miranda frowned. "Why did Chambers tell you to find me?"

"Well she happens to be very good at her job assessing the crew members'...mental well-being and informed me you've been distracted and a little edgy lately and suggested I talk to you." Shepard said bluntly.

"Edgy? She said I was _edgy_?"

"She might not have used that exact term. So you do want to tell me?" Rue said in that characteristical way she talked in.

"There's nothing to tell Shepard." Miranda felt her temper rise. What gave the yeoman right to tell Shepard something like that, just because they were...whatever they were doing, didn't mean she could run off to Rue and tell her everything.

"Look, it's strictly work related, I just want to make sure everything's alright."

"Shepard I'm fine. I would be even better if you stopped questioning my ability to do my work!" Miranda snapped angrily. How dared she question her! As if she didn't have enough problems now that her father had found her sister. _Not that Shepard knows this..._

"Ok, listen to me now. I usually don't say this, but with you...it seems to be the only thing working. I'm your commander. I need my squad to be on top. If you got any personal matters you need to deal with, then do so, just make sure you're focused on the mission when I need you to be. We can't afford making any mistakes. Not on a mission like this one," the commander said sternly.

Much to Miranda's dismay Rue's words seemed to hit home. She hated how she did that and she hated that fact that the mentioning of the yeoman's name coupled with the stress of keeping Oriana form her father had caused her to over react somewhat to the commander's question.

"I'll keep that in mind Shepard," Miranda said as something mischievous flashed in the commander's eyes.

"It really bothers you, doesn't it?"

"What does?" Miranda asked feeling the commander place a daring hand on her hip as she slipped past her towards the elevator. The soft touch sent a tingle through her body and she resisted the urge to twist sideways along with the Rue's movement.

"That I know how to handle you." Rue murmured giving her a sly look, her hand slipping off her hip.

~•~

The screen went from black to a subtle blue tint as the Galaxy Net logo appeared on it and the perfectly round globe spun on the screen until it connected.

The robe clad, smart looking man sitting behind his desk looked up as he came into view, pushing his glasses back up from the tip of his nose.

"Mr. Hannoway?" He seemed surprised.

Larkin turned around leaning on to his knuckles. "Dr. Grenway, it's time to reverse the condition. Project 821 proceeds."

Dr. Grenway put down his pen looking surprised. "So soon? I recently sent the mail to the subject, how will I explain this?"

"You won't have to explain anything. She will not be open for communication so to speak. Anyway, I have found the perfect DNA. The project continues on Monday." And with that Larkin broke the connection. Things were going according to plan. They always did. Even when his creation thought she was escaping. He snorted. Miranda had been foolish to think she could ever escape him. He needed her to think that, it was just another step in his plan, and she was following it so well and on Monday he would being his new project, the flawless human.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


	9. Self Deception

**AN. **Hi all! Thank you so very much for your patience and reviews. For reading, subscribing and adding to favs.

This update has taken me quite a while to write, not because I didn't know what I wanted to write, but because a certain wonderful someone has distracted me completely from writing, but who also gave me the name of the chapter. Thank you baby.

Alright, so as I've said earlier and as you probably have noticed, I do change things in my story so it doesn't always follow the game and how things play out in it. I mean, we've all already played it, I see no point in repeating it all in here. ;)

Oh, right, small tiny warning. Without saying too much there's a little bit of sauciness in this chapter.

Hope you like the update! Please Comment and review it is muchly appreciated!

Till next time.

~Elmjuniper

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_Sometimes it felt as if Rue knew the battle raging on inside of me. I was well aware of the rules. Our missions before our feelings, but my feelings were so strong. Too strong. It was the way she looked at me without saying anything, yet her green eyes spoke more words than had ever been spoken to me. To this day I will always regret not asking her how she did that, not telling her that the first time she did it was the moment I fell in love with her. _

**SELF DECEPTION**

LUST. MIRANDA LAWSON HAD FELT lust many times in her life, but the passion she felt rushing through her body where she lay on her back was unlike anything she had experienced before. Her body was on fire, Rue's lips locked with hers in a heated kiss, her arms pinned down above her head by the commander's strong but gentle hands. Breathing heavily, arching her body into Rue Miranda felt her need grow stronger as Rue let her hand slip between her thighs spreading them apart, granting her access. Her mind reeled as she felt herself being stroked into near madness and then Rue's fingers moved further down towards her heated core, slowly, slowly...

Miranda's eyes flew open as she awoke from her dream, her body sweating, her heart beating insanely fast. _Oh my god... _She tried breathing normal as she sat up and leaned her forehead into her hands.

"Oh. My. God!" She exclaimed, half smiling at her dream before she threw off her covers silently slipping out of bed her legs feeling slightly shaky.

"I need some damn chocolate." She muttered as she pulled on a pair of loose fitting cotton trousers. She frowned as she pulled her hair into a sloppy ponytail. If she was having dreams, and oh what pleasant dreams, about hot steaming fornication then she was in desperate need of some chocolate.

"You're making me fat, getting me addicted to sugar and you don't even know about it." She chided the commander as she turned the corner from her office walking into the kitchen.

"Of course." She said loudly as Rue popped her head up from behind the refrigerator's door.

"Well, well Lawson, what brings you out at this hour?" Rue said standing up, holding the milk cart in her hand.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Her heart was racing fast, the dream still burning in her mind. Could Rue tell?

"Actually...there's a lot of things I would like to...know." The commander said edging closer to her.

"Know or do?" Miranda challenged Rue who quirked her eyebrow smiling seductively putting the milk cart aside.

"You want me." Shepard said smiling in realization and surprise.

"What? No! That is completely inappropriate!" She spluttered.

"Not if it's true." The commander stated matter-of-factly.

"Well it's not." Miranda denied apprehensively.

"Then prove it. Kiss me."

"No! You're crazy!"

"Kiss me."

"I'm not going to..." Was all she had time to say before Shepard had grabbed her hips pulling her closer, her lips caressing Miranda's in a soft kiss. Shepard won, and Miranda let the commander deepen the kiss as she wrapped her arms around Rue's neck. Rue pushed her up against the kitchen sink her hands trailing Miranda's body on top of the thin fabric. She moaned quietly as Rue's hand slipped in underneath her top closing around her breast.

"Tell me you don't want me." Rue muttered as she lowered her mouth to where her hand was.

"I do." Miranda sighed in defeat anticipating what would come next.

Her eyes fluttered awake once again, leaving her breathless from her dream.

"AAARGH!" She threw her pillow across the room in frustration and it hit the computer screen which toppled over and fell to the floor with a loud crash. What was with her dreams lately? She groaned displeased rolling over hiding under her cover before remembering sleeping was what had gotten her this...annoyed to begin with.

It seemed that the more she tried to deny all these unfamiliar feelings she had for Rue, the more persistent they became. This desire she felt burning within her, not only to feel the commander's body next to hers, but to feel her..._love_?

She twisted a long strand of dark hair between her fingers, chewing her lip. Love? Is this...it couldn't be. How could it be, she hardly knew the commander. _Now that's just an out right lie. You know everything about her. _The small voice in her head whispered. She let her hair fall across her knees as she leant her forehead onto the top of her knees that she had pulled up towards her chest. Yes, she knew everything about Rue, physical facts, but not even through the Asari's memories of the commander had she been able to fathom how charismatic and charming Shepard had been. Not until now, and she found she couldn't resist these feelings she had whenever she was near the commander. The commander's touch from last night still burned on her hip. The rush of desire still rippling through her body. Shaking her head she growled in frustration.

"NO more dreams." She ordered her brain before getting up heading towards the shower. She had work to do, and her screen was now broken so she might as well just get up and sort it all out.

~•~

The Asari paced her office as she watched the latest feed her Intel had sent her from the Cerberus ship Rue was commanding. She balled her hands into two fists. She knew the Normandy was fighting the Collectors, which had made her thought Rue hadn't contacted her because she was busy with saving the galaxy. That was until she watched the monitoring footage of the ship her Intel had slipped to her.

She stared at the frozen screen behind her large desk. Rue was leaning into the Cerberus woman, the informant who had been her contact when she and Feron stole Rue's body from the Shadow broker. Rue had her hand on the raven haired beauty's hip and she wore that look on her face she used to wear before walking up to Liara kissing her, grabbing her behind, giving it a seductive squeeze. _This _was not saving the galaxy! _This was…this was…_ She sighed hiding her face in her hands. This was all her fault, she couldn't blame Rue, but glaring at the Cerberus informant in her low cut jump-suit she wondered if it was she who had told Rue about her deception. That it was she, Liara, who had handed Shepard's body over to this pro-human organisation. Someone must have told Rue. Why else would she not have contacted her.

She closed her eyes, steadying her breath. She thought Rue had meant what she said after nearly getting herself killed during the battle at Citadel. She would have thought that even if their bond had been severed that day when the Normandy got blown up, Rue would have at least been told by Cerberus that Liara was still alive and come for her.

Watching the next clip she felt a slight ache in her chest. It was obvious why Rue had not contacted her. Even from where she stood she could see the sparks flying between the two of them, one could cut with a knife in the intense chemistry between them. It was evident by the way they moved, how they subconsciously moved their bodies in unison, and followed each other with watchful eyes. She frowned. She was of Asari race she was bound to experience the loss of the lover she chose to bond with. She had once told Rue that Asari had learnt to accept this and did not fret about eventually losing their lover, but cherished the many memories they would have from their partner. But she hadn't expected to lose her so soon. Not like this.

Turning her back towards the screen she switched it off tossing the remote on to a nearby armchair as she walked out her office. She needed to think, needed to focus on something else.

Nyxeris had put all her energy into helping her find clues as to whether Feron was still alive and where he could be and had left a dossier on her desk earlier that morning. She should see if the information on it was any useful. As she moved through the crowded streets of Illium, the sun caressing her face gently, she hardened her stare. All these emotions would get her nowhere. Sheer determination and will had helped her retrieve Rue's body, only this would help her find Feron.

She had learned to live without Rue, accepted her death, and the revenge she sought on the Shadow Broker could not be achieved by the young, naïve girl she once was. She straightened herself up, her steps falling more determined on the blank surface of Illium's streets.

~•~

The morning had been tiring if not a little crazy. One of the weapons upgrades had turned out to be faulty weakening the bearers shield instead of enhancing its strength. Jacob had been quick to discover the malfunction which could have cost them their lives if not discovered, but that also meant a slight delay in their already slim schedule to get everything ready for the final mission. The suicide mission, as she liked to refer to it as. Jacob had still avoided her attempts to have a decent conversation by stiffly replying that he wasn't a man of many words. It seemed the former Alliance soldier had become more reserved after Jack's little revelation of Miranda staying in Rue's room. She pondered the possibility that the soldier still held some kind of feelings for the informant. Either way she found the prospect of her explaining what Miranda was doing in her room slightly unnecessary, thinking it might undermine her authority if she seemed too eager to explain herself. She needed the crew's approval, but she needn't seem desperate, that would only gain her pity and nothing else.

On the bridge Joker and EDI had discovered the upgrades they got for the Normandy the other day might not suffice to withstand whatever waited behind the Omega-4 Relay and the rest of the crew darted back and forth between stations working like little ants. Rue had to settle an argument between Jack and Mordin and Garrus was having a slight set back in the Main Battery Room, nothing he couldn't handle, but a setback nonetheless. She smiled a little at the thought of Garrus' awestruck impression the first time he had seen the Normandy. He was right though that day. When the galaxy's different races worked together they really could accomplish great things. Looking around at her crew that awe inspired feeling was missing. It was perhaps time for a meeting with the whole crew boosting their confidence, giving them a little energy to keep working, reminding them what they all could accomplish.

She looked over at the informant who was discussing something with the navigator looking solemn and serious. Looking up from their conversation her eyes locked with Rue's for the briefest of moments before she turned her attention back to her conversation. Miranda had acted strangely earlier and then Rue had asked her why she'd gotten up so early, couldn't she sleep?

"I didn't dream _anything_." The informant answered shortly.

"Well, you know what they say, we only dream about things we've been experiencing or thinking about during the day. You should think about something before you go to sleep. That should help you dream." Rue had merely suggested,

"Shepard, just…be shush!" She had gesticulated wildly with her arms before storming off leaving a much confused commander to wonder what ever was wrong with this day.

Watching her omni-tool she shook her head. She had to call a meeting and then they would dock on a nearby fuel station before trying to find the Justicar. They had almost caught up with her on the Citadel, but she had slipped right through their fingers. The Justicar had flown from space station to space station and Rue found herself wondering what it was the Justicar was looking for. Evidently it was something important enough to chase half across the galaxy. She frowned. A Justicar. She knew very little of the Justicars. They were of Asari race and highly revered in Asari culture. From what little she had read they served as the righteous hand of the galaxy, righting what wrongs have been done. Apparently that sometimes, if not often meant standing above human or species created laws. Moving across the bridge her eyes caught the yeoman's and she nodded a greeting before moving on. Today was not the day for idle dalliances, there was to much work to be done.

~•~

Miranda gazed out across the wide open space small rocks orbiting through it, space ships whizzing past the fuel station soundlessly, some stopping to dock others merely bothering to slow down as the docking ships pulled up near the station. Niket had finally replied to her e-mail and her contact on Illium had returned her latest call just before Rue had ordered them to join her in the com room for an important meeting, and Cerberus had arranged for Oriana's flight to a new settlement. Embracing her self, she went through the plan in her head once more, staring absentmindedly out through the station's large panorama windows. It would all work out perfectly, and if they were quick enough her father wouldn't know Oriana had been moved before it was too late.

She threw a quick glance across her shoulder. The only thing left to do was to talk to the commander about it. She cringed slightly at the thought. She hadn't wanted to involve anyone else, least of all someone from the crew, and especially not Shepard. When Niket had suggested she ask the captain if they could make a quick stop at Illium she had resisted the idea first thinking she could come up with a good excuse to go there on her own, deal with the issue and then return to the Normandy. It was perhaps her stubbornness, perhaps her pride that resisted the idea of it even though she knew that just the thought of her walking up to Shepard saying she'd have to go away for a day or two was not only silly, but also ridiculously irresponsible. Even if she did come up with a good excuse she was Shepard's second in command and her taking a leave wouldn't look good. However telling Rue also meant revealing something of herself. How she fled from her father, why she had fled and why she had brought Oriana with her. One thing would lead to another. Rue would find out everything. It was even more daunting to tell Rue than having her read her journal.

She mulled over the possibility that she could just tell Shepard what she needed to know in order to help her settle this issue, but knowing the charismatic commander that would probably not be enough. Rue had this way of making people around her trust her with their problems and even their lives. Miranda sighed. She would have to include Rue whether she liked the idea or not.

~•~

Her office was the fancy one in the crew quarters, the one that had a spectacular view of the vast space. Being the Illusive Man's favourite must have its perks he thought to himself where he walked down the narrow corridors towards the elevator. Then again, sleeping with the Illusive Man was bound to get you special perks. He snorted. He had worked for the Illusive Man five more years than the director had. There could only be one reason as to why the Illusive Man had named her the director of the Lazarus Project. Miranda. He shook his head, twirling the plastic card between his fingers as he moved swiftly towards his destination. She wasn't all that, she wasn't even talented. She was made that way. Nothing about her was real. Anyone as cold as her couldn't possibly be, even Wilson had said the before the attack back on the station had killed him.

Stepping out from the elevator he glanced to his sides making sure no one could see him where he walked. It was late, and he didn't have much time to enter the director's office before she and their commander would return. Commander Shepard. Now that was a woman one should respect. He was in awe of her. She had saved humanity from that crazy alien Saren and his Reaper army. He wouldn't ever dare to question Commander Shepard to her face, but keeping aliens onboard? The turian and that mongrel Grunt unnerved him and he couldn't understand why the commander possibly couldn't do without those aliens. He knew Wilson would have felt the same way, but looking around him nowadays he only saw fools who didn't mind working along side the aliens. The Illusive Man's orders were clear though. _Get the director's DNA_. He frowned. It was an odd request. What could the Illusive Man want with that woman's DNA?

He pulled to a stop in front of her doors. Whatever the reason he didn't mind helping the Illusive Man in this matter. He placed the plastic card against the little metallic box next to the doors that slid open. Stepping into the office he let his eyes sweep across the room falling to rest on the bathroom door. He moved quickly across the room slipping in to the bathroom. It was big, much bigger than the one he and the others had to share and he found himself disliking the director even more. This office could have been his. _Should _have been his.

Walking up to the basin he grabbed the comb lying on top of it. He sneered. Miranda would hate the fact that the Illusive Man had asked for her DNA, and actually had someone sneak in behind her back and get it. This made him more than sure of that the director knew nothing of this and whatever it was she wouldn't like it one bit. He laughed to himself. And that was just why he liked it, and he wished dearly that the Illusive Man would use it for something good.

~•~

Miranda stood by the waiting area as always keeping her distance from the rest of the squad.

"What do you make of her?" Garrus asked as he studied the informant with scepticism.

Rue looked up from her omni-tool studying the informant. These past few days something had changed. She seemed nervous. Something was up, something had unsettled Miranda. Rue squinted. But besides that, Miranda's behaviour had changed around her. She no longer walked away or gave Rue that cold stare when she tried venturing outside the rules Miranda had set up the week before. Sometimes she even seemed at ease with Rue. She grinned. Miranda was playing along with her innocent attempts to flirt with her, and at times it puzzled the commander. It enticed her.

"I think she's very focused on her job. I guess."

Garrus chortled causing Rue to snort. "What?"

"Joker's right." He said shaking his head with a grin on his face.

"Joker's right about _what_?" Rue folded her arms across her chest glaring at the turian.

"Where are your weapons?" He narrowed his eyes at the absence of the captain's weapons.

"I figured I wouldn't need them right now. Why?"

"I just want to be sure I won't be getting a bullet in my head." He grinned at her,

"And _why_ would you do that?" She asked.

"Because Skipper." He secured his gun at his waist. "Do you remember when you and Liara had that thing going last time we risked our lives to save the galaxy?"

Rue quirked her eyebrow folding her arms across her chest leaning backwards slightly as she studied the turian. "What about it?"

Garrus raised his head scrutinizing the informant with his meticulous eyes. "Can't say I trust her, but it's your call Skipper. You've always made reasonable decisions before."

"My call to _what_ exactly?"

He grinned widely. "I think you already know what I'm talking about." And with that he turned his back on her walking away motioning for the fuel's station personnel to speed things up.

Rue followed him with her eyes. Letting his words sink in as they returned to the informant where she stood. She did like Miranda. The informant made her bang her head on her desk in frustration sometimes, one minute she was the cold, stoned-faced ice queen, the next she was like one of the colonist girls they had met on Feros. Rue hated how she was all business-like and determined even when discussing what was on the lunch menu, and at the same time that made her smile. So focused and concentrated, a tiny wrinkle forming between her eyebrows. And when the informant was in a good mood she would banter sweetly with Rue until she remembered the rules she had set, then she returned to ignoring her, but Rue could still sometimes feel her gaze burn at her from afar. It was infuriating how Miranda sometimes still saw Rue as her subject she was to study, but then Rue could see the concern grow behind those blue eyes the closer they got to flying off into the Omega-4 Relay. Miranda made her feel things she hadn't felt in a while. Looking at the informant she scratched her neck. Regardless of how Miranda made her feel, this wasn't quite the right time for something like this. Besides…Miranda was just playing with her. All this small banter and sweet flirting didn't actually mean anything. Or did it? Sometimes she wasn't quite sure what the answer to that question was. She shrugged where she stood turning to leave for the rest of the squad when she saw the informant turn around and walk towards her. _Oh boy…now what?_

"Commander." Miranda's voice sounded nervous yet a little softer than usual.

"Yes Lawson?"

"I…I'm afraid I'll have to ask you for a favour…" Miranda squirmed as Rue tilted her head. The informant had been unsettled by something, the biggest hint the fact that she was asking Rue for a favour. Miranda didn't ask for favours for she didn't need them. She either handled it herself or delegated the task to someone competent enough to handle it.

"What is it?" She asked softly.

"I wouldn't ask you if I really didn't have to…but I need your help with moving my sister." The informant said her arms crossed defensively across her chest. Rue suspected the arms also worked as a support, making Miranda feel less vulnerable.

"Sister? I didn't know you had a sister. Why does she have to be moved?"

Miranda sighed. "Have I told you about my father?"

"Other than he was a bit of an absentee and controlling one, no." Rue said letting her arms fall to her side.

"Well." Miranda walked past her walking them further away from the crew. "Like I told you, he was a rich and influential man who created me."

Rue walked up behind her stopping an arm's length away. "He created you?"

"My father used a modified copy of his own genome. With it he…engineered me genetically."

"So…" Rue said slowly refusing to admit she understood less than half of what the informant had just said.

"He created me to be a perfect specimen of a human being. He bought me the best genes, best education…that is why I can do all of this." She said her hand suddenly glowing with her biotics.

"I would have said that that can't have been too bad, but I know from what you've told me that…you didn't really see eye to eye with your father."

"I thought I was the only one." She said quietly. "But…I wasn't…I wasn't even the first. There had been others before me."

"That's why you left?"

"I knew what he was going to do to me…he created my sister, Oriana, when he created me. I had to leave, and I couldn't leave her behind." The informant lowered her head. "Cerberus has helped me stay off his radar. He stopped searching for me a long time ago, but Oriana…he's never stopped looking for her and…" She fell silent before her voice grew angry. "He has found her, and I need to stop him. Cerberus has arranged for her to be moved, but I don't trust that everything will go smoothly…I want to be there myself to make sure everything goes as planned."

"Ok. When do we leave?" Rue said in a determined voice.

Turning towards her Miranda's eyes searched hers. "Thank you Shepard."

Rue found herself smiling, placing her hand on Miranda's shoulder resisting the urge to pull her into an embrace. "It'll be fine. We'll get her out."

~•~

Turning the corner without paying attention Liara found herself crashing into the tall man standing in front of her. He wore a grey handsome suit, the sun bouncing off the cufflinks graciously.

"I'm so sorry." She apologised to him.

"Oh, please Miss." He laughed unarming pulling his hand through his way hair.

"I wasn't paying attention I should have…" She laughed straightening her clothes.

"I was practically stepping right in to your path. It was my fault." He smiled before holding out his hand. "I'm Larkin."

She stared at it before gently grabbing it in a greeting. "Dr Liara T'Soni."

"Dr T'Soni?" He said looking a little shocked.

"Yes, have we…met?" She asked feeling an uneasy feeling creep up on her.

"No, but I _have _been looking for you." He said.

It was the last thing she remembered before someone shot her with the tranquilizer and her vision became blurry before she fell into the bottomless darkness.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


	10. Fresh Feeling

**AN. **To all my wonderful, patient readers, thank you so much for sticking with me this far! I am sorry I haven't updated until now, but a lot of things have been going on in my life, not all of them pleasant and good and it has taken me a while to find my way back to the harmonious state where I can write.

So, without revealing too much of what is going to happen in this chapter I would just like to point out that this is just a fan fiction of Mass Effect and I am by no means an expert on timelines, science and codexes and such from ME, but I've been trying to keep it as believable to ME as possible. I've also changed the Illusive Man's name from Robert Laroy to the boring name Jack Harper seeing as the comics recently came out and obviously this was his name. ;) I thought mine was a little bit flashier. ;)

I would also like to thank each and every one of you who has read, subscribed, reviewed, faved, and encouraged me to keep writing. You all make my day and inspire me to keep the fanfic up those times when I feel stuck. :)

Special thanks goes out to my wonderful beta+ **Nightwish11606**!

Ok so without much further ado…

Enjoy this new chapter!

~Elmjuniper

* * *

.

.

_I was a confident woman when we met. I could hold my ground against a room full of Geth, Husks or Krogans, anything thrown my way. My biotics were nothing but lethal, I could protect myself with it, protect the ones I cared for with it, but now…it seems all my biotics have left me, every single trace of it vanished from my body. Rue doesn't know. Not about the biotics, nor about my…condition. It's best if she doesn't. She needs to focus on the Reapers. Not worrying about us and I…I need to regain my powers again. _

**FRESH FEELING**

"IS THAT THE ASARI?" Dr. Grenway asked as his eyes fell on the sedated Asari lying in the examination chair. Her face looked serene, the characteristical saphire skin tone and Asari features relaxed, eyes fluttering behind closed eyelids. From prior experience he was happy the Asari was sedated as he circled the chair, one arm resting across his chest his elbow using it for support as he let his thumb rub his bottom lip thoughtfully. The Asari race was said to dream, much like himself and the rest of his kind. Dr. Grenway found it fascinating that an entirely different race could be so similar to humans and yet they were so different from one another. The Asari was a mono-gendered race, or as common people liked to refer to them as, an all-female race. It could be compared to the ancient amazon tribes to a certain extent, he mused quietly to himself.

He studied the sleeping alien. A mono-gendered race who could self-reproduce. It was nothing but amazing, a miracle in human eyes. Scientists had studied the science and possibility of reproducing between two females. Cloning had been discovered, but a biological child created solely from the DNA of two women had been nothing but a vision to humankind. Until now.

"This is the one. Dr. T'Soni, she had a relationship with the commander." Larkin Hannoway explained as he placed the dossier on a table in the spacious laboratory.

Dr. Grenway started at the screen next to the unconscious Asari. Thin cords dropped towards the floor from its lower frame before bending and darting upwards, digging their sharp ends into the soft skin of the Asari specimen.

"It appears that Dr. T'Soni would be a bit young to reproduce with the commander. However…" He leaned closer into the screen knitting his eyebrows together in a frown. "These readings indicate that Dr. T'Soni has experienced quite a few melds with the commander and despite her young age a pregnancy could be precipitated as her body indicates that she was near entering the Matron Stage. It seems the commander's death might have postponed it and it is likely the presence of the commander might trigger this female's desire to move on to the Matron Stage."

Larkin Hannoway walked up to stand beside him. "Yes. My informant told me that Dr. T'Soni and the commander was very close…" A satisfied smile spread across his lips.

Dr. Grenway nodded. The Asari had already mapped out the most desirable traits from the commander's genetic build and from what he saw his assumption that the commander's presence would trigger the pregnancy would be as valid of a conclusion as any. As he stared at the small screen, squares and lines started to appear, forming patterns unreadable to most humans. They would need much more time than this to see how much genetic information the Asari had collected. The rising spirals, increasing amounts of squares and flickering numbers were not much. Yet to him, it was beautiful. It reminded him of watching one's favourite artist draw one of his most accomplished masterpieces.

~•~

Commander Rue Shepard stared at the fish tank rubbing her neck, the soft strumming of a guitar escaping the stylish speakers in the Captain's cabin. She sighed heavily. It had been Liara's favourite song. It used to make her smile, but now it only filled her with a sense of emptiness and loneliness. Sometimes she wondered if things would have been different it she hadn't been slung out in the explosion and gotten herself spaced as Joker liked to say. _Of course it would have been different. _

She shook her head. She was the commander, a captain, she of all should know things change, people change, they experience new things and grow, become someone else. The same thing had happened to her and Liara and the most logical thing was just to accept it and move on. _Move on_. It wasn't as if she didn't have options. There was the yeoman of course, she was more than sweet and Rue knew Kelly would not say no to one or two indecent proposals, but there was also the alluring informant. The informant's face appeared fleetingly before her eyes and she smirked, snorting a little at the thought of Miranda and their playful banter. Crossing her arms she turned her head to the side watching the empty bed remembering the feel of the informant sleeping next to her that day a few weeks ago.

"Skip forward." She commanded the music player. It swapped a track and Rue found herself smiling slightly as she remembered Miranda's flirtatious eyes from the other night in the hangar area. As much as she hadn't liked the informant to start with -in fact she had been wary and suspicious towards Miranda- she had to admit that once you learned how to handle her it was difficult not to fall for the raven-haired beauty.

"Commander." EDI's voice alerted her drawing her away from where she stood moping.

"EDI." She greeted the AI as she rounded her chair.

"The Director would like to speak to you." EDI informed her, the blue orb flickering as the artificial intelligence spoke.

"Tell her I will be with her shortly." Rue let her captain's uniform fall to the floor as she walked over to her weapons locker pulling out her armour. Eyeing it she wondered if there would ever be a time when she wouldn't have to pull out her armour and put it on to do the dirty work of others. The armour's sleek black surface reflected the fish tanks clear blue water like tiny little sunrays and Rue marvelled at the spotless exterior. If it wasn't the council she risked her life for it was Cerberus. If it hadn't been Cerberus it would have been someone else. To her it didn't matter as long as she could stop the Reapers. She wouldn't stop until she had defeated them. She knew it was her choice. She knew that she had made it that day when Saren and his minions had fallen, although it didn't mean she never got tired of always having to be the one to do all the work and still when everything was said and done she was the one to be questioned by others.

Today however her mission was different. This time she knew why she did it. She lifted her chin slightly as she stared at her own reflection her eyes growing more determined, more focused as she slipped into the heavy armour securing her shotguns to her side, strapping the rifle and grenade launcher to her back. Giving her one last nod she turned to leave her room to find the director.

Miranda stood with her back turned towards the wide entrance to her office when Rue entered it, but unlike the other times the informant did not turn around to face her at the sound of Rue's heavy boots clanging against the cold floor. Rue waited until the doors had closed before speaking.

"Miranda?"

The informant remained silent her back still turned towards Rue as she shuffled a pile of dossiers on her desk. She moved closer to the informant reaching out for her shoulder. She could feel Miranda tense slightly underneath her touch before she turned her around staring intently at her. Looking into her blue eyes Rue saw something mirroring itself in them. Fear.

It was surprising to see Miranda like this. The arrogance was like evaporated, the proud head held with less pride, the cold eyes now seeking comfort. Surprising, but not implausible, Rue knew that if it had been her sister she would have been just as worried.

_"We can't get out that way Rue!" Her sister hissed trough the corner of her mouth._

_"I _know_ Ina." Looking up towards the ducts Rue pointed with her finger towards it. _

_Ina nodded strapping the shotgun to her thigh as Rue climbed onto the desk, her small hands reaching for the air vent, the only thing standing between them and certain death. Grabbing hold of the duct's frame she swung up and slithered into it turning around to help her sister up. Loud footsteps thudded behind her sister's back as she screamed for Ina to hurry up. _Grab my hand! _Her blood froze to ice when she heard the door shatter from under the force of a Batarian's boot. _

_Time seized to exist as her sister stared up to her whispering _'I love you'_then swinging back around unloading her clips into the first Batarian. The first one fell like a stone, second one as well, but they kept coming, pouring in like the rushing water of a water mill. The first bullet hit her sister in the chest with an ear shattering bang and Ina stumbled backwards. _

_Rue dropped from the duct landing ungraciously on the floor with a loud crash. Rolling over pushing to her feet aiming her guns, she emptied them into the last standing Batarians her eyes filling with tears, her voice screaming until her throat got coarse. _

Rue snapped back to reality. Her hand was still gripping the informant's shoulder gently and she pulled her into a hug. She heard Miranda gasp as she tried to pull away before she leaned in, her forehead resting against Rue's shoulder. She shuddered at the feel of Miranda pressed close to her closing her eyes momentarily allowing herself to breathe the informant in before she spoke softly.

"You, Jack and I will go meet your contact once we arrive on Illium. Garrus will be overlooking the drop-off point from a well-hidden position, and Jacob will be acting as Oriana's driver. We will take care of the rest."

"Did you have to pick Jack?"

"The two of you are like cat and mouse. It's unfortunate you don't get along better than you do since the two of you are actually really damn dangerous together." Rue smiled feeling Miranda glare into the armour clad shoulder.

"Everything will be ok." She said quietly before releasing the informant. Miranda gave her a determined nod before her eyes grew cold and focused again.

"Right. Enough of this. Let's get this over with." She said picking up her M-6 Carnifex.

Rue eyed it with a frown. M-6s? They did some decent damage, but Rue would like to see her crew carry more ammo than what the M-6 would allow.

"We should upgrade that one." She said nodding towards the pistol strapped to the informant's hip as she turned to leave the office and head for the CIC.

"I can handle myself just fine with this one." Miranda answered matter-of-factly from where she walked.

"Yourself perhaps, but what about Jack and me?" Rue pointed out. It wasn't so much a rhetorical question as it was a reminder of their previous conversation from when they first met.

Miranda remained silent as the elevator travelled upwards, its low buzzing the only sound being made. Rue felt the elevator slow when Miranda's hand grabbed hers giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Thank you Commander." She said with her honey like accent before stepping out of the elevator.

~•~

Dr. Grenway walked behind Larkin Hannoway towards the cabinet at the far end of the laboratory. Once there the taller man opened it and held out two test tubes towards him.

"Commander Rue Shepard." He lifted the hand holding the test tube containing something that looked like a long piece of skin. "Apparently not everything had been destroyed on the Lazarus station."

Dr. Grenway smiled. This was truly an opportunity he had never had before. He had the Asari lover and her DNA map of the woman who saved humankind and the rest of the galaxy from Saren and the very DNA from this woman. The possibilities were endless. The things he could accomplish reached beyond the normal mind's wildest fantasies and yet…he looked at the second test tube in Larkin's left hand.

"Miranda Lawson." Larkin said his eyes gleaming. Miranda Lawson test subject 13:9:189 one of Dr. Grenway's most successful experiments.

Dr. Banner Grenway had just achieved his PhD in biological science and for the first time in a decade he did no longer have to work for someone else or research someone else's theories. He was sitting in the new expensive leather chair when a young man walked in to his small office. It was a small unpretentious office, but it was _his _office. The young man introduced himself as the sole heir to Hannoway Mining Ltd. Mining. Ores and minerals was that one thing humans had underestimated the value and importance of. Larkin's grandfather on the other hand was ahead of his time and knew full well the time would come when the world depended on these materials, and his vision was to own it all by then. The day Larkin walked in to his office Hannoway Mining owned ninety-six percent of the earth's mining territories and was the main exporter of alien minerals. In other words, the Hannoways owned a small empire.

Larkin was as dashing then as he was now, many years later, and he had also been very interested in Banner's prior research of cloning and reproduction. Having heard of a new genetic breakthrough he came to Banner inquiring what it would take to create a child from his own genes mixed with the genes of other highborn and academic persons. Dr Grenway had explained to Larkin that there was simply not enough research to validate something like that. It was a dream he had always had, but one could only research so much with the help of pigs and sheep.

"Then let _me _be your sheep." Larkin had said.

Dr Grenway couldn't believe his ears. It was unethical and against all his morals to use a living, breathing human to run tests on, but nonetheless there he was, a voluntary man, all he wanted in return was a child of his own genetically engineered with only the best genes. As much as Banner would have liked to say no, this was an opportunity he could not resist and with Larkin's generous donations female follicles wouldn't be hard to come by.

The first test subject had died as an embryo, the second before it even reached the same stage as the first experiment. Then there was a successful child engineered, grown and born in the laboratory. It had not survived its third month. There were more subjects, more tests. Some of them lived longer, some of them were terminated, and then there was test subject 13:9:189. Miranda. She was perfect. He remembered it as if it was yesterday. Everything had been planned so well. Then the anomaly appeared sixteen years later. Miranda was not as manageable as they had intended for her to be and despite the surgery to fit the new biotic implants and the genetic plan that she had been programmed with, Miranda did not develop as they wished. She started objecting to her strict rules and schooling regime. When she found out about what she was and that a sister from the same egg, but with newer genes had been created there was nothing left to do than to let her run.

Larkin had wanted the perfect creation –Miranda wasn't it anymore, but now…Dr Grenway stared at the second test tube. Larkin was right. This time they were going to create the perfect human.

~•~

Her stomach churned where she stood, her head thumping, her world spinning as she stared at her best friend. She wanted to cry, scream. She trusted him and he betrayed her. Niket had sold her out to her father. She knew he could see the hurt on her face her eyebrows knitted together, lips slightly parted, her head shaking as she raised her Carnifex.

Niket, her oldest and only friend who had helped her escape her crazy, egocentric father. The only one she had ever trusted had gone behind her back had lured her out here to this false drop-off point with the intention to keep her from getting to her sister. She grew cold once again, her hurt turning into rage as Niket took a step backwards.

"If you know about Oriana's location then surely you must have told Miranda's father." Shepard said where she stood, her shot gun aimed at Niket, her eyes resting on him like a hawk would watch its prey.

"I haven't told Mr. Hannoway anything!" Niket said defensively as his eyes blazed with anger. Miranda felt herself cringe at her father's name. Hannoway. It was a long time ago anyone had ever called her by that name. Niket had been her best friend, but he had endangered her sister's safety. What if she hadn't been here to make sure the drop-off went down as planned? What if Shepard hadn't thought of placing Garrus on watch and Jacob as Oriana's driver? Then her father would have gotten to Oriana. He would have captured her, tortured her. She looked in disgust at the man she had once called her friend.

"But still…you and her." She nodded towards the Asari standing behind him. "Is the only thing standing between my sister and her safety. I'm sorry." She lowered her head momentarily before looking up again. "I never wanted it to end this way Niket." Then she fired off her gun. The bullet dug itself into to Niket's skull between the ends of his brows, before he fell lifeless to the floor. The Asari mercenary screamed in surprise and anger before diving in behind the crates for cover.

"Right. Ok. I would have preferred that to go down differently." Shepard muttered through the corner of her mouth as the Asari launched a full on attack, bullets and biotics whizzing through the air towards them.

"I'm starting to like this bitch!" Jack leered at Miranda where they huddled behind the small barrel.

"And all I had to do was kill someone." Miranda growled craning her neck around the barrel trying to spot the fast moving Asari.

"Love the bonding girls, but really…a fast moving, blue, biotic crazy alien trying to kill us." Shepard snarled before darting out from their cover blasting her shotguns at the mercenary as she shouted instructions over the radio to Garrus and Jacob.

Miranda grimaced as she shot a wave against the Asari's cover shattering it to pieces with her biotics, her other hand firmly gripping her pistol blasting the Asari with Incendiary bullets.

"That the best you can do cheerleader?" Jack smirked, her hand sending a shock wave of power towards their enemy. Crates, barrels and fork trucks launched upwards into the air leaving the Asari exposed to Shepard's lethal bullets. They heard the Asari scream angrily as Shepard's bullets crashed into her.

Miranda fired her weapons at the mercenary captain, but the Asari flared her shields their attacks bouncing off her like tiny pebbles. The loud banging of guns being fired, barrels and crates tossed aside and shattered echoed throughout the large stockroom. The Asari fired off her biotics at Shepard. It hit the commander square in the chest sending her crashing into the wall behind them. Her armour clanked loudly as she fell to the floor with a loud grunt before getting up on her feet. She barely had time to dodge the next attack. Ducking in behind the two biotics she hissed angrily.

"Distract her!"

They nodded as they both took off in different directions charging towards the Asari. Their hands burning with biotic power as Shepard loaded her sniper rifle aiming at the fast moving enemy. Miranda saw Jack get tossed aside as one of the Asari's attacks hit her. The convict was regaining her balance when a bullet tore through the air ripping a deep gash on her carefully inked skin. Jack screamed in agony falling to the ground. Shooting out with her arms, Miranda pulled at the Asari flinging her high up in the air.

"NOW!" She shouted at Shepard. The commander had to take the shot or this fight would delay them in getting to Oriana. There was a sophisticated low bang as one of Rue's bullets ripped through the air. It was a clean shot and the Asari mercenary crashed onto the floor.

Shepard moved over to Jack kneeling next to her. "You ok?"

"Is she dead?" Jack grunted.

The commander looked over at the Asari's corpse her eyes locking with Miranda's blue eyes shortly before returning her attention to the convict.

"Yes she's been terminated."

"Then I'm fucking brilliant. Bitch ripped my tattoos!"

The commander chuckled before helping the convict up. They both turned to look at her, and Miranda felt herself grow nervous. She had shown both of them too much of her emotions. She had let her father get the best of her once again. She had killed someone because of him and they all knew it. She stared back at them, her eyes icy cold when Garrus' voice rang in their ear pieces.

"Commander."

"Garrus?"

"The target has been brought to safety. Jacob is with her and I've still got a good overlook of their position." The Turian reported to them.

"Good." Shepard looked at her waiting for her approval. Miranda nodded, her jaws clenched, the heat of the battle still keeping her on her toes.

"We'll be right over." Rue instructed her eyes still studying her.

Miranda looked away trying to hide her emotions. Jack was there and she would catch on to anything going on between Miranda and the commander. She would latch on to it like a leech and Miranda found that even though she wouldn't mind Rue pulling her into her strong arms again she couldn't let that happen. Not here. Not when she didn't even know what this thing that evidently was going on between them was. She swallowed brushing the dirt off her jumpsuit. She was going to make sure her sister was safe – everything else had to wait until later. Whenever that was.

~•~

The proud informant stood staring out through one of her office's windows smiling as she remembered the look upon her sister's face as she had approached her and her family. Oriana. She had been no more than a baby when she rescued her from their father, their creator. Today she was an intelligent teenager with a quick mind and witty tongue.

Miranda had felt proud when she talked to Oriana, had felt that same feeling she had all those years ago when she held her baby sister in her arms, protecting her from harm as they fled through a big and scary city, looking for shelter and protection from their father. It had overwhelmed her, taken her by surprise and even though Rue had been standing near her when she saw her sister again for the first time since she left her she couldn't stop the warm tears that silently rolled down her otherwise so cold cheeks. Not even Jack's huffing could make them stop falling. Her chest suddenly warm, feeling as if she would explode with pride and love.

Oriana was much like her, talking to her was in many ways like talking to herself, yet Oriana talked with much more ease and with more passion. Miranda let her fingers tap her arm. Oriana had friends, had a family who loved her. She had something Miranda never had and it had taught her things Miranda had never had the chance to learn. Oriana had humour and she spoke so freely. She seemed so easy to get to know. Miranda smiled, closing her eyes. She had saved her and Oriana would never become like her –cold and distant– a social misfit. She heard the doors open behind her and she felt the faint scent of the commander's perfume. Turning around to face the commander she let her arms drop to the side.

Rue was wearing the black commander's suit smiling her charming smile as she pulled to a stop by her desk.

"Lawson. You got a minute?" She asked casually, her hands behind her back as she weighed on her heels.

Miranda smiled as she walked over to the leather sofa sitting down in it. "Shepard. I didn't expect you to come by so soon." She said motioning for the commander to take a seat opposite her.

Rue sat down eyeing her curiously. "I wanted to see how you were doing."

"I'm doing well and…" She averted her eyes away from the commander. "You helped me save my sister, thank you Rue."

"Hey…" The commander leant forward her soft fingers lifting Miranda's chin so that their eyes met. "I'm just glad I could help. No need to thank me." She smiled.

Miranda swallowed nervously before standing up moving off to the window. "I mean it Shepard. I couldn't have done it without you."

The commander leaned back into the comfortable couch crossing her arms.

"Why do I get the feeling that you're not telling me everything?" Rue asked her from where she sat.

She let out a low chuckle as she folded her arms across her chest embracing herself. "I know what you all think of me and I admit...you were right to judge me. Wilson was right." She fell silent.

"Wilson programmed me to have a mental lockdown to kill me off. I wouldn't listen so much to him if I was you." Rue muttered.

"He was right to say I was jealous of you. I told you, I thought people put too much faith in you. I saw you like some bloody hero given an exaggerated amount of trust." Pausing momentarily she turned around to face the commander. "I've been wrong about you..."

"We've all made that mistake Lawson." Shepard got up from the couch shrugging her shoulders.

"Not you. You give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Everything they think you are is real. Everything you've done, you've accomplished by your own skills. Unlike me."

"What do you mean?" The commander's hazel eyes looked at her as she scowled slightly.

"Everything you see, everything I am, my powers, my appearance, everything about me has been bought and genetically engineered. Nothing about me is real. Nothing but perhaps the mistakes I've made, but sometimes…" She fell silent a wistful smile growing on her face.

"You know…you keep saying everything about you is just the result of good, if not perfect genes put into a nice pot shaken and stirred, but that's not completely true. Genes don't decide _who _you become Miranda. That's all you."

She felt slightly bitter. "Even you look at me the way I was built to be looked upon."

"Ouch." Shepard clutched at her chest feigning mock hurt before she smiled a crooked smile. "Don't act coy with me Lawson."

"Coy?" Miranda couldn't help but smile. What did Rue mean with that? She studied the commander as she drew nearer until she stood only inches away.

"Coy, Lawson. Don't pretend you don't like the fact that I'm looking at you." Rue murmured.

Suddenly painfully aware of the lack of space between them Miranda felt her heart race, pounding loudly in her head. Rue was taller than her, not much, but just enough so that the informant would have to tiptoe slightly to get her lips leveled with Rue's.

"I didn't say that I didn't like it…" She said her throat feeling as dry as sandpaper and she felt her heart slow and become one with her slow breathing as Rue's hand suddenly placed itself at the sensual curve of her back.

The commander's strong hand pulled her closer to her. It was a gentle motion like the early spring breeze caressing the sprouting leaves. She let herself be pulled towards the enigmatic commander. Standing close to Rue nothing but the thin layers of their clothes keeping them apart Miranda felt a warm, slightly familiar feeling in her chest and she blinked in confusion as it dawned on her, what the feelings were, what the thing going on between her and Rue was. Her confidence suddenly faded and she let her hand slip up between them as she took a step backwards.

"Look…Shepard…" She tried to control her reeling mind as the fraying remnants of their intense connection lingered in the dim lit office. "This isn't…I'm not…"

Shepard tilted her head an amused look upon her face.

Miranda cleared her throat feeling her cheeks burn as she fidgeted and started to pace nervously. "It's just that I'm not…I don't know what this is."

Quirking her eyebrow Rue smiled her crooked smile. "Oh? I thought it was pretty obvious."

"I mean, I don't know what I'm…Rue…I can't do this right now…" She fell silent observing the commander's face. Rue was following her nervous pacing with those piercing eyes.

"Ok." She said simply before looking at her watch. "What about later, say around seven?"

Miranda chuckled shaking her head at the commander. "I should…get back to…work. Yes, work."

"You do that Lawson and I'll go check…on…Mordin's work."

"Mordin's work? You hate science."

"I don't. I find it…interesting." The commander lied.

"You're a terrible liar Shepard." Miranda said with a chuckle.

"And so are you Lawson." Rue said with a playful edge to her voice as she left Miranda standing by her desk blushing profusely, her heart beating insanely fast.

~•~

Larkin Hannoway looked up from his mahogany desk where he sat going through the latest dossiers he had on his projects. There was Miranda of course, her sister Oriana and then a few other projects that weren't really worth the amount of credits he had spent on them. They were pure failures.

Miranda, she wasn't perfect, Oriana had been upgraded with quite a few genes, but unfortunately Miranda had snatched her away from him before he could make sure these traits had been fully developed so Miranda was the closest thing to perfect he had. His eyes gleamed as they fell on the magazine spread in front of him.

The tall, red-haired woman stared up at him from the spread, her eyes cold and determined. They didn't stare right at him but to somewhere just behind his shoulder. She carried herself with such stoic pride it made him shudder. Everything about this commander was fascinating. Her battle skills were beyond anything he had seen before and her achievements were nothing but impressive. The thought of the DNA from someone like Commander Shepard and his Miranda combined together and engineered to bring forth the best traits was exhilarating. And the Asari whose genetic map would be used to bring out the strongest, the most vital genes from the Commander was beyond what he could have possibly have hoped for. This time there would be no trial and error, it was all laid out perfectly. Even the plan to get Miranda to expose herself to him by going after Oriana had worked. Everything was falling into place. He felt a rush as he thought of this new creation of his.

A soft knock brought him back to reality and he looked up to see the doctor standing in the doorway.

"Mr Hannoway?"

"Yes?"

"You better see this."

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


	11. Gravity

_I wasn't looking for anything when we met. Nothing but somewhere I could hide away. Hide from the weight of my heritage. Hide away from prying eyes. Somewhere to hide from my feelings, from myself, but with Rue it was like how they describe gravity. I fell. Headlessly. Helplessly. _

**GRAVITY**

IF IT WAS ONE THING you could say about Larkin Hannoway it would be that the man knew how to manipulate. With his self-confident posture and fashionably arrogant attitude, Larkin Hannoway could sell sand to the Sahara. Larkin spoke with a firm and subtle sense of belief making every subject sound as his expertise and he moved with such gentle reassurance he could bend his opponent to his own will.

Dr. Banner Grenway had seen it before, and as he watched Larkin finalize the last step of this prodigious project, shaking ambassador Goodwill's hand firmly smiling confidently, he realized how dangerous someone like Larkin could be. _Could be? _He wasn't only helping Larkin create the perfect human, but also the ultimate weapon. A biotic solider who regenerates faster than the average human, and with a mind and intellect far more developed than most of the population, and with the determination and bravery of the galaxy's most celebrated hero. Add a control chip to that and Larkin would suddenly stand alone in control and in power of deadliest and most dangerous solider their world had ever beheld. Dr. Grenway shuddered slightly. Miranda had been created solely to take over Hannoway Mining, that's why Larkin had pushed her so hard, trained her relentlessly in politics and strategy, made her start a degree in economics and business planning, made her attend all those tedious social gatherings that she hated. This time though Larkin had outdone himself.

Despite the foreboding feeling he had he couldn't help but feel excited about the new project. This project was so fascinating, he could learn and study so much more, but to what prize? Was he really prepared to hand such responsibility, such power to someone like Larkin? Larkin would surely use one of his research facilities to clone project 16:34:969. That would leave Larkin with a military fleet dangerous and skillful enough to invade and size whole empires, not to mention planets that would benefit his mining company. Hannoway Mining wouldn't only own every single share of mining on earth, but would set out to gain monopoly of the galaxy's mining resources. Dr. Grenway sighed. Perhaps it would at least lay the man's atrocious plans of Courtesan Earth on hold.

Banner still felt sick to his stomach whenever he thought of the business plan Larkin had presented to him a few years after project 13:9:189 had been successfully created. He wanted to create and sell women to anyone who could pay the right price. Much to Banner's dismay Larkin had been very thorough with his plan, and his investigation had shown that a shamefully large part of the earth's population was more than willing to buy such services, not to mention the galaxy's and the aliens harsh view of people being born into servitude. Banner shuddered. This was different though. These women would be created for one purpose and that purpose alone.

He glanced over at the tall man. He hated him sometimes, but still, he could not be more thankful for the opportunities he had provided for him. All the research and all the discoveries he had made were all thanks to Larkin Hannoway and therefore every fraction of his success he owned to that man, and as much as he wished he could say no to some of the things Larkin proposed, Dr. Grenway knew that this amazing chance to create this child would never come again. This could open so many new doors, not only for him, but for the world as well. His knowledge and work would not only benefit Larkin, but it could also benefit the earth and her population. Dr. Grenway felt his confidence in the project increase with the thought, and he stood a little straighter meeting Larkin's blue eyes as he came walking up towards him waving the dossier he held in his hand triumphantly.

"Time to bring the girls down to earth."

~•~

Earth was as foreign to her as it was to Mordin, although thinking about it Mordin probably knew more about earth than she did. Nonetheless Rue found herself wondering what things were like on earth where she sat in Illium's high fashioned club Eternity drinking her cold beer. It wasn't that she had never really taken in interest in it before, after all she worked for the Alliance so she worked partly to preserve it, there just hadn't been time to learn more about it and they had never been stationed on it. She raised the tall glass towards her lips, letting the cold beer linger on her lip before letting the intoxicating beverage wash into her mouth leaving her with a bitter sweet taste. Licking her lips she set the glass down staring at the hypnotizing red screens sign behind the bartender's back.

Normandy's engineers and Jacob needed time to assemble new upgrades for their weapons, making sure this time that they were getting the right upgrades. He had managed to lure Mordin out to look for some armour upgrades as the rest of Normandy's crew members, and Garrus worked hard to improve the Normandy's defences. She could really need Tali's expertise now. She grunted. Where was Tali now anyway? Perhaps she should go pay her a visit? They could need her help after all. Although hadn't Tali said she was preoccupied with something? Of course she was – they all were. Rue chuckled a little to herself before taking another sip of her beer. After these few intense weeks one drink was the least she deserved. Hell, they all deserved it. Her body still ached intensely, but she had managed to shrug it off, lately though it seemed as if it came more frequently and beer –it seemed– helped. She made a wry face. She should go talk to Chakwas, drinking beer wasn't known to be the best of remedies after all. Not the best, but a damn tasty one.

She rubbed her neck thoughtfully slowly working the tensed muscles with her hand, easing the aching slightly. Samara the Justicar had eluded her once again, but they had found Thane. The assassin puzzled her greatly. Despite his line of work he seemed as compassionate and solemn as the reverent mother Alnessa back on Mindoir had been. Rue had watched him whisper a mournful prayer as he lowered his head where he stood solemnly hovering over Nassana Dantius' still warm corpse. Everything about Thane was strange. His solemn way to move and speak, his beady, black eyes and peculiar Drell voice. Strange, but not false nor unbelievable. Rue liked his calm spirit. _Another noble savage._ Rue smiled into her glass, hopelessly long, red hair falling in her face. Brushing it behind her ear she chewed her lip her thoughts once again returning to Miranda and their earlier…whatever that had been. Another reason she was sitting in this dark, fashionable club drinking her outrageously expensive beer.

She let the tips of her fingers circle the soft, rounded edge of the glass. The informant seemed so close to her, yet she was out of grasps reach even when their bodies had been pressed closely together. Miranda's desire had shot out like flames from her body, mixing and mingling with Rue's own. It had been so easy to read the informant in that moment, but now she wasn't so sure where she sat. Had she just imagined it? Had she caught the informant in a weak moment? She knew what she wanted herself, but could she be sure that's what Miranda wanted? She stared into her beer watching the small bubbles dart up towards the surface breaking it with an almost inaudible pop. Miranda confused her, and for the first time she didn't quite know what to expect. This was a different feeling reminding her of the uncertainty before battle and still that uncertainty seemed easier than what she felt now. With Liara it had been instant, blinding, but this, this was like the slow rise of a new sun, the anticipation of feeling the warm rays caress your face, the longing for the warmth to wash away the coldness from the night.

The commander heard the determined steps of the informant's black sleek boots click against the shining floor of the eternity before she had time to announce her presence. Turning around on the bar stool she was sitting on she smiled her crooked smile leaning back into the bar.

"Finally taken that R and R, huh? I knew you wouldn't be able to resist it." The informant's eyes twinkled.

"Lawson." She said her pint sized glass of beer still in her hand. "What could _possibly _have brought you to a place like this? I thought fun wasn't your thing." She mocked the informant playfully raising her eyebrow before sighing, setting the glass back onto the bar. "What is it? What did I forget?"

Miranda chuckled as she pulled to a stop next to Rue motioning for the barkeep. She, just like everyone else in the night club stared appreciatively at the informant.

"You haven't forgotten anything. I wanted to talk." Miranda said matter-of-factly before raising the thin short glass the barkeep had set down at the bar in front of her. She studied it for a second or so before downing it grimacing as the warm liquor burned on her tongue.

"Talk?" It was Rue's turn to chuckle. "Come now Miranda, we both now no one _talks _to me."

The informant frowned. "What do you mean?"

"People don't actually talk to me, or say 'hi, how's your day been' or 'what's your favourite show' or 'how's being dead going for you', they ask me to sort their problems out." Rue said flatly taking a sip of her beer.

"I'm sorry…"

"It's ok. That's what I'm here for, brought back to life to be the ever lasting problem solver and rescuer of the galaxy." Rue winked, smiling broadly.

The informant narrowed her eyes at Rue. "Sometimes I don't know if you're joking or not." She declared.

"Ok, let's have it." Rue ignored her remark, leaning forward slightly giving the informant a reassuring look.

"I didn't really want to involve you when it came to personal problems, but that was before I found this." The informant placed a dossier on the bar in front of Rue who took it, flicking and swiping at the screen with her fingers as she eyed it quickly.

"What exactly is this?"

"That is what my father is involved in. The Illusive Man sent me this information earlier today. It is clear that my father has become a danger."

Rue stared at what looked like pictures of blue screens, and different documents of funding. She kept flicking till the picture of a young woman stared back at her, hollow eyes, bruised and cut, her clothing reminding Rue of what the courtesans back on the Citadel wore.

"What the hell is this?"

"Wherever Project Zero came from…"

"Jack." Rue corrected her sternly. The rivalry relationship between the two women did not benefit any of them by calling Jack by her former project name.

"Jack." Miranda repeated reluctantly. "Wherever she came from, this is much worse. My father's company genetically engineers these women to suit the buyer's preferences and they are then sold as…I guess one could call them slaves."

Rue narrowed her eyes. "How can your father get away with such things? I thought slavery was prohibited on earth? Isn't that what we humans always brag about when we want to distinguish ourselves from the aliens?"

"Things aren't so black and white I'm afraid. Slavery is prohibited, but these women are not seen as 'real' humans. The law states clearly that it is by no means allowed to hold humans or aliens as slaves, but these genetically engineered women are neither in the eyes of the law. They are neither humans nor aliens."

"But they are not subjects either." Rue said angrily flicking past dozens of women faces. "'Courtesan Earth provides its services and products through out all of the intergalactic systems. How noble of him." Rue said in disgust. "This cannot be accepted, these women were created and engineered solely for this reason. They are created for the buyer's need, to do whatever is asked of them no matter what it is."

"As was I."

Rue could feel the anger start to boil within her. It was infuriating to know pricks such as Miranda's father was walking around, untouchable because of ridiculous loopholes in the law. It was as infuriating as having to battle the council. It would have been easier if Miranda's father had tried to snatch Oriana himself, then they could have just put a bullet between his eyes. A well deserved one. How could she protect people from the Reapers if they committed crimes such as this? Why should she? At this rate if the Reapers didn't wage war against them, they would self-destroy anyway.

"That's why I ran. That's why you had to help me keep Oriana safe." Miranda's voice brought her back and she found herself staring into the informant's sapphire blue eyes when Miranda's hand suddenly grabbed Rue's. Unlike the other times the informant didn't let go at the soft touch but held onto it as she pulled herself closer to the commander.

Rue searched her eyes finding them gentle and the doubt that had filled them earlier vanished something else replacing it, burning in them as she placed Miranda's hand on her shoulder, slowly, carefully pulling her closer, her hand resting gently on the informant's waist. Not taking her eyes off the informant's she could feel Miranda caress the back of her head, her fingers raking through her long hair. Averting her eyes momentarily she could see Miranda's plump lips, slightly parted, trembling a little. She leaned her head closer lifting her gaze, looking into the informant's eyes before gently brushing her lips against Miranda's. The informant responded, her lips pressing against Rue's, tasting them curiously, passionately. Rue let her lips explore Miranda's as she felt the tip of Miranda's tongue sweep across her bottom lip seductively and the kiss which had been careful, gentle and searching, deepened. Not abruptly or hesitantly, but like the placid waters of a lake that slowly starts to ripple and swirl. Revelling in the feel of Miranda's soft lips and warm tongue Rue pulled her closer, the loud music streaming from the large speakers and the constant buzzing from the other guests suddenly reduced to nothing but a low thudding reverberating through her chest, or was that her racing heart drowning out everything else?

Rue let her hands slide down the informant's back adding some pressure as they reached Miranda's delectable and curved behind, pulling her closer closing whatever distance lay between them causing Miranda to gasp loudly into her mouth, breaking the kiss momentarily. She could feel Miranda's voluptuous chest rise and fall with her breathing, her half-lidded eyes full of desire.

The informant intertwined her fingers in Rue's hair drawing her in for another kiss their lips burning with lust and passion. Miranda drew a low growl from Rue as she nipped at her lip, her silky smooth tongue slipping across it. Rue felt her head spin, her need growing more dominant at the pit of her stomach as she tightened her grip on the informant, nearly squeezing out what little air she managed to breathe in between kisses. Dormant passion seemed to whirl to life within Miranda who gripped Rue's collar with her hand tugging it hard, desperately trying to get closer as her kisses deepened and became more urgent and needing. Rue let her lips caress Miranda's, their tongues tasting, exploring each other with such passion it left them both breathless when Miranda seemed to regain her senses breaking the kiss. Panting from lack of air and arousal, the raven-haired informant stood still, her silky fingertips resting lightly on Rue's lips almost as if doing so would keep her from kissing the commander again. Rue breathed her in, savouring the sweet smell and the warmth of the informant.

"We shouldn't be doing this." Miranda whispered huskily still not moving.

Rue snorted inwardly. There was a lot of things that shouldn't be done. This wasn't one of them.

"I want you." She murmured her hands holding Miranda firmly in her arms.

"We Sh…" Rue silenced her with a kiss, her lips moving towards the soft skin where jaw line met ear kissing it gently eliciting a soft sigh from the informant's lips.

"I _want _you."

"We can't…" Miranda whispered in a low voice.

Rue loosened her grip off the informant reluctantly placing a kiss on her lips. "Why do you always say we can't when…" Another kiss. "…we're obviously…" And another one. "…already doing it."

"I..!" The informant caught herself before continuing. "I need time Rue. I'm not used to this."

"Ok." She agreed as she slowly let her go. "Whenever you want to…talk. I'll be waiting."

"And no one will know of this."

"No one." Rue watched the informant nod one last time before she slipped out of her arms, heading back towards the Normandy. Turning back to her beer she leaned her head into her hands before grinning widely. Perhaps working with Cerberus wasn't so bad after all.

~•~

Dr. Grenway stood by the sleeping Asari taking notes as he copied the genetic map onto his hard drive. He hadn't expected to have it so soon, but the Asari had been very selective during their melds, it was remarkable that someone showed such efficiency when it came to choosing genes. Not even Larkin had been as confident with the exact genes he wanted for his projects as this Asari had been. Regretfully, he would not be given the opportunity to sit down and ask her how or why she had chosen these genetic traits. Perhaps it was the doctor in her that had the most influence over which genes were seen as the most desirable. Looking up from his pad he studied her. An Asari doctor. He wondered how many great things they could accomplish if they were ever to work together, Asari doctors and human doctors. Maybe then they could discover how self-reproducing could be applied to humans. The thought of it was thrilling and he found himself losing concentration slightly. It was a mind blowing concept to think that a single person who longed for a child would be able to have one without the help of a partner.

Putting down his pen he scratched his stubbly chin. This project that he and Larkin was working on now was a step in the right direction though. Not only did he now have a perfect template for genetic mapping, but he could also use it for his research. He could discover how to genetically map another person's genes, he could help childless people, he could create an army to withstand any alien threat, and maybe he could even learn from this how Asari's excluded the non-desirable genes and in that way find cures to incurable diseases. This was why he had taken an interest in biological studies. This was why he allowed himself to work for someone like Larkin Hannoway.

Picking up the tray that held the sedatives, he caught his own reflection in the silverite surface. There had been a time when this would have been out of discussion, he would have never set foot in this laboratory knowing he'd work for someone like Larkin. Most of the earth's population probably felt the same way about many things, but with the new opportunities provided by the intergalactic access and a network that stretched between galaxies morals and ethics had changed. The end suddenly justified the means. Mankind had been given too much rein. Regretfully he did not feel remorseful about this. Dr. Grenway knew it had to be done, for the greater good, and if someone like Larkin got a share he did not care.

Turning towards the second screen he felt a rush of excitement. He had discovered that the Asari did not only make a genetic map of her partner, but also one of herself showing the best traits and genes, and by looking at it he could see that Dr. T'Soni's best genes fit perfectly with Commander Shepard's, like a jigsaw puzzle, add that to Miranda's genes and they would have something incredible in their grasp. Using the sharp scalpel he removed a pea-sized bit of flesh and skin from the Asari's neck, placing it in one of the test tubes. If he could insert the Asari's biotic gene it would integrate with Miranda's biotics giving the child extreme biotic powers. Unfortunately, Dr. Grenway had yet to discover how to create a map from a human without the help of an Asari who had melded with it. He studied the test tube in his hand.

He had however discovered the reason as to why project 13:9:189 hadn't developed her traits as well as he had wished for. His research had shown that all of the projects had lacked the proper amount of immune defence genes which did not only impair the projects regenerative abilities, but also the consistency of their abilities. Miranda's abilities had been astounding when she was younger, but as she grew older they had weakened until she was fitted with new implants. Not only had the procedure been costly, but also caused the young girl a severe amount of pain. That was one of the reasons he needed Miranda for this project. He needed her to vessel the project, so that the immune defence gene would be properly developed. Without her this whole project would crash and burn like a poorly built star ship.

Switching on his intercom he called for the laboratory staff.

"Can someone come fetch the Dr? I have no further need of her." Walking over to a thick white door he entered the pin before stepping into it closing it carefully behind his back.

The petri dish was held by the F-shaped machine's hand underneath the sharp light from a surgical lamp. He smiled warmly at the seemingly empty petri dish. It may not show, but he knew. Step one of project 16:34:969 had been accomplished.

~•~

Rue Shepard stared at the ring in her hand. "Don't you think it's better if I go alone?"

"Shepard." Miranda said calmly. "How much did it cost to bring you back?"

"Four billion credits...?"

"Indeed. Now tell me Shepard, how much did the new Normandy cost to build?"

Rue scratched the back of her head looking slightly perplexed. "A…lot?"

"Two-hundred thirty-five billion credits." Now, would I be terribly out of line if I said that you're far too valuable to be lost?" It wasn't a rhetorical question. Rue could tell by the informant's voice.

"Fine. I see your point, but tell me again why we just don't go down there and do what we usually do?"

"Blast our way through trouble?" Miranda quirked her eyebrow.

"It's working quite well…"

"Because we want to hit the operation from within. If we take it out from the inside we will be able to get all the data stored and destroy the facilities connected to Courtesan Earth. It would be a blow to Larkin Hannoway, a blow too big to be fixed."

"Ok Lawson." Rue agreed knowing the informant was right.

"Good. Cerberus has sent us our new identities." She said handing Rue the dossier before turning to walk away.

"New identities? Will that really be necessary?"

The informant didn't answer, but simply gave her a look before walking off. "You should be prepared and ready to leave ASAP. Make sure Garrus comes along." She called over her shoulder as she disappeared from view.

Rue heard Joker chuckle behind her. Folding her arms across her chest she glared daggers at him. "What the hell are you laughing at?"

"It's just funny to see you ordered about."

"Yes. Hilarious." Rue muttered. Switching on the dossier she read the headline. Liz and Rebecca Gilchrist, a rich newly wed couple from one of the colonist planets visiting ambassador Goodwill's charity ball. Rue scowled. _Charity ball my ass._ It was all a façade for the women the rich came to buy during one of the evening's charity auction. She put the dossier down.

"The Gilchrists." She muttered as she put the simple wedding ring on her finger hearing Joker snickering from where he stood opposite her enjoying her awkwardness.

"Stop it or I'll break your legs brittle boy." Rue snarled.

"Hey, hey, no threatening the little guy. Besides Rue, it's not _that _bad."

"I'm a _soldier_. I've got targets –I shoot them. I'm not an _actress_."

"Look Rue, for how long have I known you?"

"Since I joined the Alliance."

"Exactly, I was the little scrawny guy everyone picked on, but who still helped you out when Holly Bank broke your heart." Rue opened her mouth in dismay to say something but was kept silent by Joker's hands waving dismissively at her. "In other words, I know you pretty well and this is just another mission, but instead of flashing your nice gun you have to be a little more subtle. So don't think, just to what you do –without guns."

Rue grunted.

"And while you do it…reap the benefits my friend." Joker said his eyes gleaming.

"What benefits? I feel like an ass in this suit." Rue tugged at the stiff collar of her fake noble suit. It fit her well, showing off all her best curves, but it was too damn tight in her opinion. "Just glad they didn't put me in a dress." She said before turning around ordering one of the CIC crewmen to go fetch Garrus for her.

Joker laughed before choking on something. "Uhm…Commander, you might not do dresses, but she _definitely _does."

Turning around she saw Miranda stride towards them. She wore a deep purple dress made of silk, the front and the side embroidered with U-shaped patterns to accentuate her exquisite curves. The dress had been designed with a tasteful cleavage, showing just enough for the imagination and it wrapped itself perfectly around her body ending just above her knees, the long shapely legs made longer by the matching high heels. Her blonde hair had been back-combed into a messy yet stylish hairdo, long, wavy strands of hair escaping from the subtle silver hair pin, falling across her sleek shoulders.

"Reap. The. Benefits." Joker hissed through the corner of his mouth.

Snapping back to reality Rue realized she must have been staring for the raven-haired beauty smiled coyly at her. Clearing her throat Rue regained her posture slightly.

"You're…blonde." She heard Joker groan behind her back.

"I think I would have been recognized otherwise." Miranda smiled at Rue's inability to hide her appreciation.

"But you were only gone for not so long."

Miranda chuckled. "It's a wig, blonde doesn't really suit me."

"Well…you look…" _Amazing. _"Good." Rue said stiffly trying to hide the desperate desire she felt for the woman standing in front of her.

"As do you Commander." Miranda said as coldly as ever, but Rue saw the flash of mischief in her eyes before Garrus and Jacob came walking up to them.

"Ear pieces." Jacob said staring intently at Rue avoiding to look at the informant. "We'll be nearby and when you send us the coordinates Joker will go in for drop off and we'll meet you there." He instructed them.

Nodding she put the ear piece into her ear before looking at the Turian and the informant. "Ready to go play happy family?"

~•~

The corridor lay dark as he crept through them. Hopefully no one would wake up and find him creeping around the Normandy like this. He looked behind his back twice before he entered the elevator. The CIC lay quite besides the navigator. He didn't pay him any attention where he walked, as per usual. He was too busy to even notice he was there. He could see the flight lieutenant's arms fly about as he manoeuvred the Normandy, but besides that no one was around. He walked up to the yeoman's station quickly inserting the decoder into the yeoman's computer. The screen flickered to life and he opened the yeoman's mail quickly logging into her inbox typing the address he had been given by his mysterious employer.

One day when he opened his mail there had been an unread mail and when he had opened it, it had offered him the most fantastic thing. The one thing he had yearned for –Miranda's position as director. The only thing he had to do was to send and e-mail when the director and commander had left, and whoever sent the mail would make sure he was greatly rewarded. He was no fool though, of course he did not simply believe a mail sent from some anonymous someone. He had done his research and this mysterious Conrad Jester seemed to be closely connected to Hannoway Mining. He had of course asked for something in advance as a proof of faith. Only hours later he had found himself ten-thousand credits richer. How this Conrad had managed to sniff out his details he had not idea, but at this point he didn't really care. Just knowing he might be sending the director off to a place where she might not come back from was just enough for him.

Grinning widely he typed in his message before hitting the send button with a determined push then he stalked back to his bed smiling to himself. To think that one simple phrase could alter his life and the director's so acutely was thrilling. Just the thought of the look upon Miranda's face as she realized they had been tricked, oh he would have done anything to see it. Taking her place would be a good comfort.

~•~

Larkin Hannoway turned in his leather chair at the sound coming from his laptop. Leaning forward he saw the small mail icon flash.

_The package has been sent._

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

* * *

**A.N: **Well, this chapter took long enough to publish!

There was a lot of things I wanted to write in the AN, but I just got in from a housewarming party and I had wine and nice, nice company…so needless to say I've forgotten what I was going to say. Except for: Thank you to all of my wonderful readers who put up with my slow writing, and to everyone who's reviewed – you guys and girls are absolutely fantastic! You make my day! Also a big thanks to everyone who's faved and stuff.

Ok, so I hope you like this chapter, I'm already working on next chapter – let's hope I get it up next week 'cause I got some really nice stuff for you to read. :)

Thanks again for your patience and unwavering support!

Please review and let me know what I'm doing right – or wrong. If you like it, hate it? What's good, bad? What didn't make sense?

Also big thanks to my beta – Nightwish11606.

~Elmjuniper

Ps. If I haven't replied to your review it's not me being rude, but just really absentminded. :P


	12. Fear's Confession

_Instead of finding a safe place to hide away at I found Rue. I found my heart and lost it all the same._

**FEAR'S CONFESSION**

MIRANDA WATCHED THE GUESTS MINGLE and talk amongst themselves in the opulent grand hall. Large crystal chandeliers hung from the panorama-like ceiling making the grand hall even more spectacular than what it already was. Trying not to fidget where she stood surrounded by all the rich and wealthy upper class people Miranda let her eyes sweep across the room one more time scrutinizing her surroundings.

Despite her protests back on the Normandy the commander had fallen into character quickly. Miranda on the other hand found it much more difficult. Ambassador Goodwill's estate reminded her too much of her childhood. As a young girl she had spent many nights socializing with the rich and wealthy nobles here. She had been as uncomfortable then as she was now.

It had been both exhilarating and daunting to return to earth, to Australia, to Sydney –the place she once called home. Sydney was just like Miranda remembered her though, stoic and beautiful. The old Opera House had been renovated an extra building extending it now, but it still lit up the city proudly. Other parts had changed though. The city had become colder and much rawer. She wondered if running away from her father would be as easy as today as it had been then. Somehow she doubted it.

Following the golden rim of the room she let her gaze dart over to observe an old man with a terrible toupee, she found nothing suspicious about him. Her eyes continued on until they fell on the tall commander. The commander who had kissed her. Rue had kissed her, and she had kissed her with such passion and intensity it made her feel as if she was everything -the only thing- that mattered, the only one the commander was aware of and would ever be aware of again. In that moment all Miranda could taste was the hopes and dreams, the desire and passion infusing Rue's lips. In that moment she had only one wish –that Rue wouldn't let her go.

She let her eyes travel the length of the commander's body. Rue had managed to completely shake her world as big or small as it was. Miranda hadn't expected it, not like this, not during circumstances such as these. But as crazy and scary as it was Miranda also knew that no matter how she tried to deny or restrain her feelings the fact remained, she was in love with the commander she had spent the past two years rebuilding and the past two months getting to know. Rue had tilted her world. The commander made Miranda question her beliefs, made her question her way of thinking in order for her to learn. Parts of Miranda had thought there was little left she had to learn. Rue had proven her wrong. There was a lot about loyalty and trust she had needed to learn. Rue had given her the time to do so, but the commander had also pushed her out of her comfort zone. She admired all of this about Rue, how she was firm in her beliefs not afraid to tackle anything, not even her own fear.

Miranda wasn't the type who paid much attention to or had the patience for heroes and their big egos and that was exactly what she had expected to get from Rue -a big ego and no respect for authorities or intergalactic laws. Instead the commander had managed to prove herself to Miranda and earned her respect. Then respect turned into curiosity, curiosity turning into attraction and before she knew it the powerful attraction she had felt morphed into something bigger. She held on to the fluttering sensation in her chest before pushing it back.

Regardless of what she felt a relationship between them couldn't happen. This was not the right time, there was too much at stake. The preparations for the suicide mission needed their full attention, they couldn't afford being side tracked by their feelings. No matter what Miranda or the commander might want this was simply not the right time and Rue needn't know about Miranda's feelings for her. They had already crossed the line. Rue wasn't just her commander, but she was also her asset and the Illusive Man had made her the director of project Lazarus. That meant it was Miranda's duty to keep the commander safe and whether the kiss mattered or not to either of them a relationship of any sort other than a professional one was too risky. This was not the time to be reckless.

Taking a deep breath she turned her focus back to their surroundings as she pretended to sip off her glass of champagne. The commander slipped from guest to guest introducing herself as Rebecca Gilchrist the filthy rich owner of a colony planet which she ran with a cold-hearted and strict regime. Their false background had been leaked into the Shadow Broker's channels making sure it would reach the ambassador's guests one way or another. New arrivals were always scrutinized and talked about before they even arrived and Miranda recognized the condescending yet curious looks they all gave her and the commander.

She watched the commander in her expensive noble's suit. It was dark blue, a nice contrast to her red hair and it fit her slim, well-toned body perfectly. She looked fiercely stunning, her fiery blood red hair cut shoulder length in layers giving the commander an edgy, rugged look. Rue had protested at first, the idea of not having it the same length a little daunting to the commander who firmly believed in the military captain sort of look. Miranda chuckled to herself remembering Rue mutter something about looking like an earthling. It suited her well though.

Her eyes fell on the Turian. Garrus was hovering near the entrance dressed in the butler's outfit looking awkward and irritable amongst the other butlers, most of them humans. Her earpiece crackled before she heard the commander's voice, so quietly it was nothing but a murmur.

"Ok, so the auction dinner is not until tomorrow evening, until then…"

"We try to find out anything we can about Courtesan Earth's funders and where it's being run from." Miranda filled in making sure no one saw her talking to herself.

"Garrus, think you can find out anything?" Rue asked.

The Turian snorted into his earpiece. "You humans may not have slaves, but you sure do treat your butler as one." She could hear the commander chuckle from where she was.

"Just be glad I didn't make you carry all the back up." Rue teased her comrade.

"Like I would be the only one with some fire power. Why don't you ask Miss Lawson where she keeps hers?" Garrus said playfully.

"Miranda?" The commander asked chidingly.

"Wouldn't you like to find out." Miranda said smiling to herself. She could just imagine the look upon Rue's face.

"Just...see what you can find out Garrus."

"I'll see what…" The Turian interrupted himself. "No, what are you doing child?"

"Garrus?" Rue asked hesitantly.

"Child get away from this suit…no! Shoo! This is not just any suit -this is a _butler's _suit." They heard the Turian say indignantly. Miranda couldn't help but laugh shaking her head slightly to find the commander look at her in surprise from the other side of the large assembly room. She smiled back at Rue, biting her lip.

"Liz Gilchrist I presume?"

She turned around a little startled and surprised at the distinctive Australian accent.

"Yes. That would be a fair assumption." She stated in a perfect British accent as she saw the tall and handsome man standing behind her. He tilted his head slightly, smiling charmingly.

"Bryce Kent." He introduced himself. "I've been watching you for a while. It seems your husband may have forgotten about you." He said in his awfully charming and confident voice, a flirtatious look in his eyes.

She played along with him. Bryce Kent; multi-millionaire, and strong supporter of political wonder child Melissa Hammond who put forth the first draft of the Servitude Act. If anyone here would know something about ambassador Goodwill's fishy business it would be this playboy looking young man.

"My husband?" She raised an eyebrow.

He fingered his glass a wrinkle forming between his eyes. "I was certain I heard rumours of a newlywed couple arriving to ambassador Goodwill's estate today. You are the only one I do not recognize and surely I'd remember meeting someone as beautiful as you."

The informant tried not to grimace at the poorly executed compliment.

"My…"

"He must be a lucky man." He interrupted her. She could feel his eyes burning on her body like crackling fire licks its burning embers.

"Who is lucky?" Feeling the gentle touch of the commander she smiled into the marble floor with its polished white surface before turning her ear towards Rue who pressed her lips gently against the side of her head. Bryce Kent looked slightly baffled before blushing, his white smile awkward and a little uncertain.

"Mrs Gilchrist." He said as coolly as he could.

Rue wrapped her arm around her waist pulling her closer, her other hand reaching out for Bryce in a polite greeting.

"Mr Kent." The commander said nodding, shaking the man's hand. Miranda tried not to look surprised. Rue had really done her homework as they had left Normandy.

"Please, call me Bryce, I was just saying how lucky your wife's…partner must be." He raised his glass of champagne to his lips, flashing a poster smile at them.

"Thank you, I feel very lucky Sir." Rue said curtly. "And where are your wife, might I ask Mr Kent?" Miranda smiled. Rue was ignoring the man's request on purpose showing him she didn't feel intimidate by his playful flirtations with her wife.

He laughed into his glass. "You really are a colonist, so polite. My wife is…"

"Very tired of waiting for you to show me around this tedious place!" A voice exclaimed from behind his back. The man's colour seemed to fade slightly his eyes flickering with uncertainty.

"Ah!" He exclaimed dramatically. "There you are my love."

"I've been here all the time." The woman replied sourly.

The commander flashed a disarming smile towards the woman. "Mrs Kent, it's such a pleasure, I've heard so much about your work with Senator Hammond."

Miranda glanced at the red-headed, stubborn yet brilliant woman next to her, muffling a chuckle. Very clever. Complimenting the wife, make her feel important, and then make her spill all the dirty secrets. The woman shone up slightly. It was an eerie thought though, how cold and cunning the commander could be when she was set on accomplishing a mission. Miranda snorted inwardly. The commander did exactly what she herself would have done. Admirable. When they had first met she hadn't thought the commander was capable of such decisions. She'd been wrong –of course.

"I…Thank you, I didn't do very much I only run the press, making sure our citizens are informed about the great things she has achieved and _will _achieve with our support." The woman smiled and lifted her chin slightly.

"And you most certainly reached all the way out to the colonies. It is not small deed Mrs Kent. On our colony," the commanded nodded her way and Miranda smiled at the woman, "we support Senator Hammond fully."

"We do." Miranda agreed accentuating it with a most believable facial expression.

Mrs Kent shone up smiling at Rue while dismissing Miranda with a fashionable turn of her shoulder. "It is so nice to meet people who understand the importance of Senator Hammond's politics. What is it you do exactly?"

"I'm a commander."

Miranda tried not to smack her forehead with her palm as she heard several groans in her earpiece.

"A Commander?" Mrs Kent repeated looking perplexed.

"Naturally. Down here it's called Lords, and Dukes, up there." Rue pointed up towards the sky with her index finger, "we're a little bit more dramatic."

"Oh. Yes of course. It's all very…spacey." Mrs Kent smiled as Miranda exhaled in relief.

"It was a long time ago I spoke to another business woman such as yourself. I would love to hear more of your take on Senator Hammond."

Erica Kent was a thirty something beautiful woman with brown highlighted hair that reached down to her waist. Standing opposite her Miranda had no doubt many men and women were jealous and intimidated by her graceful yet independent posture. Looking over at Mr Kent Miranda could see they made a stunning couple. Mrs Kent smiled, fully aware of the commander's flattery.

"_Commander." _The Drell's voice alerted them in their earpieces._ "Notice how Bryce Kent is holding a red envelope?" _Both of the women's eyes inspected the envelope discretely. "_That red envelope is the VIP invitation to a dinner tonight. That dinner is only for those who have funded the Courtesan Earth. The other guests are just potential buyers." _Thane explained quickly. "_Get that envelope and we're bound to find out more."_

"Well, since my husband thinks I'm far too boring when I talk about politics, why don't you show me around this place while I tell you?" Erica spoke softly, almost purring.

Miranda refrained from frowning, smiling and giving a small nod. "You should do that love, it looks as if our butler might be needing some assistance I think I should attend that little business." She excused herself.

"Mrs Kent, I would love to. Mr Kent?" The commander tilted her head in a polite request to the man. He flashed yet another one of his sparkling smiles.

"Naturally Mrs Gilchrist." He said suavely giving a curtly nod.

"Right. This way then Mrs Kent. Have you seen the view from Ambassador Goodwill's balcony?"

Miranda smiled at the commander who was playing her part very well, although the informant could hear the subtle sarcasm in the commander's voice. She gave Mr Kent one last look before turning around, her eyes sweeping from guest to guest. The auction dinner would be held tomorrow. They needed to find the base before then, unless…she stopped in her tracks. A sly plan formed in her head as she quickened her steps. Why hadn't she thought of this before?

"Thane."

"_Yes director?"_ The Drell was still listening to everything that happened, monitoring their visit from the hidden cameras. Rue's was hidden in the subtle pin she wore on her jacket, and the informant's own in the beautiful oval charm that hung from the vintage silver chain around her neck.

"I need you to wire two million credits into the Courtesan Earth's business. Make sure it's untraceable and donated by the Gilchrists."

"_May I ask what the purpose with this would be Director?" _Thane asked slowly.

"We're going to buy ourselves a slave." Miranda answered quietly.

The Drell fell silent before speaking hesitantly. _"As…you wish director."_

It was funny. The assassin was the only one who did not seem to hold a grudge towards her, but treated her with the same disinterest as he did everyone else. Rue had assigned the Drell to feed them any interesting information about guests that could give them any clue as to where the Courtesan Earth headquarters might be. Considering what he had been doing before he decided to take Rue's offer and seek his redemption by helping them with the Suicide Mission Miranda thought it was a good choice the commander had made. To pick someone who was used to pay attention to the details. Every little piece of information would help them. Turning the corner to find Garrus she saw an all too well familiar face. The hair was as raven as her own and the square shoulders were held just as proudly as she remembered them. His eyes were hers or hers were his, just as ocean blue and cold. She couldn't think clearly. Spinning on her heels she froze on the spot feeling shaky and unfocused, her father's face burning in her mind.

Nineteen years and she still felt the rush of fear and anxiety at her father's presence. She could feel her heart pounding like a sledge hammer, her chest tying into a knot. She had read the guest list before they arrived just to prepare herself of his presence, but his name hadn't been on it. Yet she could swear that was him. Just knowing he was in the same room as her awoke all the suppressed feelings from all those years ago. The instant fear of not measuring up, the anxiety of not being enough. She could already feel herself working out a strategy to avoid his angry, spiteful attacks. Grabbing the side of a nearby table Miranda felt her head spin. This was a mistake! She couldn't handle this. The fear paralyzed her.

"Liz?"

That was him! She couldn't turn around. He would recognize her. Reclaim her. She could feel him place his strong hand on her arm, turning her around. She held her breath closing her eyes momentarily, bracing herself. Opening them again she found herself staring into the commander's emerald eyes.

"Miranda? What's wrong?"

Exhaling sharply, suddenly drained of energy she slumped into the commander's arms. Rue held her protectively and she closed her eyes, hiding her face at the base of the commander's neck, relief washing over her knowing she was safe in the Rue's arms.

"Come on, let's get some rest. Garrus has found a lead his following up." Rue spoke softly to her still holding her.

Nodding tiredly she let herself be led up towards their room feeling an uneasy feeling creep up her back. They were missing something, but she couldn't figure out what it was.

~•~

Larkin Hannoway watched the display from his comfortable leather chair, hands clasped tightly together. His eyes gleamed with satisfaction as he watched his creation shaking. Crumbling. His plan was playing out wonderfully. Even though Miranda had tried to break free he would still always know better than her. He had sent her on a trail he knew she wouldn't be able to discard. She would feel too strongly about it because even though he had restricted her ability for compassion and empathy this would hit too close to home for her. Only weak people felt compassion and it had made her more unwilling to endure his strict regime and experiments so he had simply made that weak Dr. Grenway restrict her feelings to the determination and ambition to succeed where others failed, to always out do everyone else –to be the best. That was the beauty with his daughter. She was just as vengeful as he himself was. Taking him down would become her obsession sooner later. Going after Oriana had only nudged her in the right direction.

He shook his head. That poor commander. She had no idea what the woman next to her was capable of. She would rid herself of Shepard without any hesitation if it meant succeeding. The commander would follow his daughter though –she was too soft of a woman not to.

He stroked the soft sides of his newly shaved face. There was one more clue for Miranda that would be delivered to them later this evening and Miranda would follow it. She was too clever not to. He smiled feeling a slight tingle of pride in his chest. She may not be the perfect creation, but her determination to bring him down was admirable and for a slight second he thought he felt something similar to what a proud parent must feel.

"You turned out good after all." He mused at the screen before throwing a quick glance at his wrist watch. Picking up the phone he waited until someone picked up at the other end.

"Get the box ready for delivery."

~•~

Rue stared awkwardly at the large bed in the luxurious, large bedroom as she placed the see-through key card on the stylish desk next to the entrance. This wasn't exactly what she'd had in mind for a mission. Why weren't there two beds? She frowned, circling the bed predatorily before moving towards the bathroom.

Sighing contently as she unbuttoned the top buttons of her suit, allowing herself to take a deep breath she splashed her face with water. This day had been long, far too long for her taste. All this stroking the upper classes already pompous egos had never been her thing which was why it had taken her this long to become the captain of her own ship. It wasn't that she wasn't experienced or skillful enough –she just didn't care for all this politicking around it. Anderson used to joke about it, that she could never keep her mouth shut. She grimaced at her reflection. Anderson was right. She wasn't about to stand around kissing someone's arse just to get their approval when they were running out of time. Last time she tried that approach it had nearly cost the galaxy its existence. If Liara hadn't urged her to keep it going…well the council might not have escaped death so unscathed.

She shook her head ruefully. Did all these people she met today even know of the existing threat? Did they even care? All Mrs Kent had talked about was how important the Servitude Act was because why should humans such as herself not be able to keep a slave if she could? People born into servitude wouldn't know any better and they were still provided for, given a roof over their head.

"But what about freedom?" Rue had asked. Mrs Kent had laughed. What was freedom without money?

What was money without a planet? These people didn't care. They were so full of themselves. It was strange to think that if things had been different Miranda would have been one of those ponces, but she wasn't anything like them. As beautiful and stunning as she was the informant had felt slightly out of place, and then towards the end of the day she had seemingly broken underneath the pressure. Rue had seen Miranda turn white from where she stood almost stumbling into a nearby table, visibly shaken by something. The commander felt a sudden urge to protect the informant from whatever it was she was dealing with. A foolish notion, she knew because Miranda would never allow herself to be dependent on anyone, but ever since their heated kiss on the Eternity it seemed Miranda was all she could think of besides the Suicide Mission. Whenever Miranda looked at her or stood close to her it felt as if the ground beneath her feet might flip upside down, still Miranda had no clue what it was like for Rue to be next to her. Inhaling slowly she stared at herself in the mirror. Miranda needed time. She frowned. Time for what? Time to figure out what she wanted? She shook her head. This was not why they were here. She should focus on the mission. They could all die tomorrow, could they really afford to indulge these feelings anyway? Could they afford not to?

Stepping out of the bathroom she saw the informant lean forward on the balcony with her hands on the thick stone rim looking out at the spectacular view. Rue saw the golden sun setting somewhere far beyond Miranda's graceful silhouette. She seemed weary where she stood, shoulders slouching, head bent forward, one hand travelling towards her face to cover her eyes. She could hear her trying to control her breathing where she stood. Shaking her head she tapped her earpiece.

"Thane."

"_Yes Commander."_

"Lose this channel for a while."

"_For how long?"_

"Just for an hour or so."

"_As you wish Captain."_ The Drell replied dutifully before the earpiece crackled and went silent.

Walking up slowly she placed herself next to the informant, leaning on to her elbows staring down at the green, luscious gardens. Earth. She was like nothing else Rue had ever seen, with her vast fields of barely, the horses running across the open fields, the buildings' artistic architecture and the quietness of the open spaces. It had surprised her to feel such connection to this planet that she had never visited before, yet the minute she set foot on Earth it felt like coming home.

"You were right."

"About what?" Miranda asked quietly.

"Earth really is something else…"

"She's beautiful isn't she?" Miranda said sounding a little more at ease.

Rue smiled turning around leaning her back against the railing. "She is."

Miranda chuckled with an almost undetectable blush on her cheeks. "You were great back there. A little too good, should I worry?"

Rue chortled through her nose. "You know, you weren't too bad yourself. For a moment I actually thought you could laugh."

"You are such an arse." Miranda said, a conspicuous smile on her lips, her eyes still searching the horizon for something.

"I might be an arse, but I got us this. Looks like we'll be going to the funders' dinner tonight." Rue grinned holding up the red envelope Mrs Kent had given to her. Apparently stroking Mrs Kent ego had its benefits.

"That's great." The informant said absentmindedly.

"Are you alright?" She wasn't, Rue could tell.

The other woman seemed to swallow, blinking angrily as she tried to prevent the stubborn tears from stinging her cheeks before lowering her gaze, wiping her eyes.

"It's been overwhelming…"

"I know this has been difficult for you…you have a lot of history and memories from this place."

Miranda turned towards her, her piercing eyes studying her. "Do you know what I remember most clearly?"

Rue shook her head 'no'. "What?"

"I remember all these beautiful places like Noosa or Uluru, but never having anyone to go with who really mattered." The informant smiled wistfully.

"What about Niket?"

Miranda snorted. "Even if it did matter at the time, what would it matter today? He still betrayed me."

"He wasn't always bad." Rue pointed out carefully.

"I used to work so hard just so that my father would see me." She paused. "I wished so badly he would love me…"

Rue remained silent allowing the informant a pause to catch her bearings before continuing again.

"Even after I ran away I wished things had been different for a very long time. Today just reminded me of everything." She said quietly.

Brushing a strand of hair that had fallen into the informant's face behind her ear to get a better look of her Rue bit her lip. It was different to see Miranda open up like this, but she found that she liked it.

"It wasn't foolish Miranda. No matter whom our parents are we will always try to gain their approval. Even by proving them wrong we seek their praise."

"Why do you do that?" Miranda said with a sigh.

"I'm sorry?" Rue said in surprise at the informant's sudden annoyed tone.

"You make it so difficult." Miranda said turning to look at her with narrowed eyes.

"Make _what_ difficult?"

"Not to love you…" She whispered faintly before realizing her confession spinning on her heels. Rue blinked in confusion following Miranda's hasty retreat with her yes, her brows slowly knitting together in a frown. The informant spun around as abruptly as she had left walking up towards her again with long defiant steps.

"Look, I'm sorry I said that. This is just…it's overwhelming and…I didn't mean to be unprofessional or looking for approval from you…I'm not one of those women searching for someone to replace the approval I couldn't get from my father." The last of her words coming out more defiantly than the first.

Rue stared at her in disbelief. _I should hope not! _"What?!"

"I know I did say it, I just…"

"Just _what_? Didn't mean it?"

"No! Yes! No. I…I don't know ." Miranda fretted her hands gesticulating wildly as she paced back and forth on the balcony. Reaching out for the informant with her hands Rue stopped her pacing.

"Miranda…" She tried to look the informant in the eyes, but she averted them breaking free from Rue's gentle hold of her shoulders.

"Rue…" She let her gaze drop. "I can't do this…"

Taking a step backwards Rue nodded once. "Ok…that's all I needed to know." She heard herself say feeling the glimmer of hope she'd felt shatter like fragile glass against concrete ground. Clearing her throat she smiled half-heartedly, an ice-cold sensation spreading across her chest as it tightened into a knot.

"Let's get some rest before tonight. We've got a long night ahead of us." She swallowed before nodding once more leaving the informant on the balcony.

~•~

Miranda Lawson knew a lot of things. She had always been clever, but where she stood on the large terrace lit up by candles and lanterns she felt like she didn't know anything, but perhaps that one thing she'd been trying her hardest to deny. This night it seemed it was the only thing she could feel. It was daunting, overwhelming, and yet she couldn't be surer. So why had she taken it back? She shook her head in disbelief at her own behaviour. This wasn't like her, to open up and let someone in like she had Rue, still it had felt good to have the commander's attention, knowing she had someone to confide in, someone she could trust.

She watched the commander stand by the edge of the terrace looking out across the dim lit gardens. Rue looked relaxed where she stood, but Miranda knew her observant eyes were studying something. Rue was wearing the black suit, the green silk on its inside matching the colour of her eyes. Miranda straightened her knee-long black skirt nervously with her hands as she walked up to the commander. She had chosen the coral blue silk blouse and a fashionable, wide belt gave it all a nice balance. Admittedly she had put down a lot more effort on her look than what she would have done during normal circumstances. She grinned. No one needed to know that. It wasn't a crime to look good for your commander, now was it?

Her black high heels clicked against the stone as she drew nearer to the commander who turned around at the sound of her footsteps, her hands resting arrogantly in her pockets the left corner of her mouth quirking upwards in a cocky smile. Miranda could see Rue's eyes though. They lacked the same fire and confidence they had held earlier. Instead they stared somewhere distantly behind her. She'd hurt the commander earlier that night. She knew it by the way Rue had looked at her before leaving the balcony to clean her shot guns for the rest of that evening before dinner. Miranda felt something strange tug in her chest with such force she thought it might crack open and suddenly the fear of losing the commander, knowing Rue would have never have known what she felt, was an almost incredulous thought. She stopped momentarily before quickening her pace, almost breaking into a run. Pulling to a stop in front of Rue she cupped the other woman's face with her hands kissing her passionately, pressing herself against the commander who grabbed her hips gently, giving her a surprised look as she broke the kiss.

"What was that for?" Rue smiled despite herself.

"That was…because I love you." She said quietly in a mixture of both fear and excitement at the feeling.

Rue shook her head her eyes narrowing. "You can't take that back twice you know…"

She chuckled wrapping her arms around Rue's neck. "You are.."

"An arse?" Rue grinned.

Miranda shook her head before kissing her gently. "Impossible."

"Perhaps, but I still lo…"

"OH! How sweet! You really _are _newlyweds!" A young girl squealed behind their backs, clasping her hands together excitedly her feet tapping the ground gleefully.

"Ok, where did the little girl on crack come from…?" Rue muttered quietly into her ear causing her to laugh before regarding the girl.

"Oh I'm so sorry I hope I didn't disturb you guys. I'm Natalaie Nartows, my father organises this weekend." The girl said, her eyes gleaming gleefully as she giggled. Miranda tried not to laugh at the commander's terrified expression.

"Well…" Miranda started before the girl squealed again.

"Oh my god! It is so much fun to see someone new here!" The young girl clapped her hands together again. "I am _so_ excited to see everyone tonight. And you are like _so _stunning together. My father said, and I quote: this will be extravagant! And like, you guys, like really are SO totally extravagant. HA! I didn't even know what that really meant, but it's like woha! Look up the word and there will be a picture of the two of you next to it. Ha! Anyway I got something for you guys." The girl turned to her side rummaging through her petite looking handbag.

"I..think I should…" Rue said slowly turning to leave before Miranda grabbed her hand.

"Don't even think about leaving me alone here." She whispered through the corner of her mouth. "I will lock you up in a room with Mordin as your only source of communication." She threatened the commander with a hiss.

The girl's head snapped up towards Rue her mouth opening in something the reminded Miranda of a giant smile of surprise. "Oh. My. _God_! A fellow American!"

Rue gave her a blank look, leaning backwards slightly as if the girl might launch herself at her at any given moment. Miranda smiled at the intense girl.

"My wife is a colonist. She has never been to earth before, so she doesn't really…"

"Oh my God! You've never been to America? Like what crime is that?"

"Could you perhaps just _give us_ whatever you came here to give us?" Rue snarled her eyes narrowing impatiently. "And what's with this God-thing? Are you religious?"

Miranda burst out in a nervous laugh. "Darling you are so funny! Please excuse her, she has low blood sugar. We haven't eaten since breakfast."

"Well, that's just fine I have to go look at the other new arrivals anyway." Natalaie said her eyes large as saucepans. "Oh here it is!" She chimed holding out a small metallic box.

"What is it?" Rue asked suspiciously.

"Well, I tried to open it, but it was locked." Natalaie said with a disappointed look on her face.

"Did you now?" Rue muttered snatching the box scowling at the girl. "Off with you."

"Thank you Natalaie." Miranda said smiling at the girl who gave them one last look of blissful glee at their presence before taking off in small skips to watch the other dinner guests arrive.

Rue shook her head glaring at the girl's retreating form before twisting the box in her hand. Scowling she handed it over. "Why don't you take a look at it…"

The box felt cold in her hand and wasn't much larger than one of those Rubik's cubes her father used to keep in his office. Natalaie had said it was locked, but no lock was visible. Miranda let her fingers slip across the edges of it until she felt a tiny irregularity on the edge's surface. Smiling she slipped her nail into it and the box clicked open.

"Damn it." She muttered as she stared down at the chip inside the box.

"What is it?" Rue asked from where she stood.

"I didn't bring my omni-tool to dinner –it didn't really go with the outfit." She said holding up the chip.

"Garrus." The commander spoke into their intercom.

"Right here Shepard."

"I need you to come take a look at this chip."

"I'll be right there." The Turian replied emerging from the doors to the dining hall only moments later. He looked rather handsome in the black butler's outfit Miranda thought to herself as he came walking up towards them.

"What is it?" He asked as Miranda handed him the chip.

"We don't know. Yet."

He grunted. "Leave it to the butler." Using a square shaped device small enough to fit in one's pocket he inserted the chip. The display flickered to life as a computerized voice started playing.

_Drop off at Linnely point June 2nd, 2185 Courtesan Earth premises – Building 278. Test subjects 34298. At 20.00. _

Then it went silent and then screen flickered one last time before turning black. The three of them stared at one another.

"What date is it today?" Rue asked an ominous look on her face.

"June second." Miranda replied feeling something eerie creep up the back of her spine.

"That would mean that according to this message –wherever it came from, that the drop off would occur at this Linnely place in…" Rue looked at her wrist watch. "Two hours."

"But that doesn't make sense." Miranda objected. "Linnely Point isn't nearby and why would they deliver the subjects to the headquarters when the auction will be held here?"

"Maybe they're engineered someplace else?" Rue suggested.

"It's possible, but why not deliver them to where the auction's held? Wouldn't it be too risky transporting them tomorrow again?" Miranda frowned. Something about this didn't feel right.

"Who delivered this box?" Garrus asked looking across his shoulder making sure no one were close enough to hear them.

"Lord Nartows' daughter." The commander said looking perplexed. "Why would she deliver it? Where did she get it from in the first place?"

"We can't follow up on this lead without risking missing potential leads here." Miranda said thoughtfully.

"Garrus, what if you follow this lead while Miranda and I try to find out more about this Nartows girl. It seems weird she just turns up with a box like that."

"Agreed, and if the drop off is in two hours time we will be busy infiltrating the dinner." Miranda pointed out to her two comrades.

"Unless the Nartows give us something else to go on." Rue muttered.

"I'll go and see what I can find out. Have fun during dinner ladies." Garrus winked, chuckling a little before walking off.

"Thane?" Rue inquired.

"_Yes Commander?"_ The Drell's strange voice replied.

"Can you run a check on the Nartows? See if you can find anything about the daughter."

"_It shouldn't take long, Commander."_ The Drell said before falling quiet, Miranda and Rue exchanging looks grinning widely. Despite the mission and the danger, it felt good to be right where she was. Next to the Commander_. "Shepard, I think we have a problem."_ Thane said slowly.

"What is it?"

"_Lord Nartows does not have a daughter…who's alive. His daughter died in leukaemia five years ago. The girl from your video is Barahona Hoyer. Records say she's a closer of some sort."_

"I knew no one could be that…pert." Rue muttered shaking her head.

"Whatever she is, she probably didn't count on us finding out who she was." Miranda said sternly, once again focused and calculating. The commander threw another glance at her watch.

"Garrus, send Joker your position when you're at the headquarters. We'll follow this Bhabah girl and see what she knows. Lawson, time for a change of clothes."

~•~

"_This doesn't seem right Shepard. This place is all empty…"_ The Alliance soldier said as he stared about the empty facilities of a seemingly abandoned warehouse, Garrus and Grunt covering his back, Jack and Thane watching their flank.

"Well…this place most certainly, isn't." Rue whispered as she lowered herself down from the air duct, dropping and landing gracefully onto the floor. Miranda landed with a soft thud shortly after. Locking eyes with the informant she smiled before drawing her Phalanxs motioning for Miranda to take the left flank. Miranda nodded determinedly slipping up next to the wall, her shoulder grating silently against it as she crept alongside it.

They had hurried back to their room to change into their armour and to grab their weapons and omni-tools. Exiting the room from their balcony they had managed to slip out unseen from Ambassador Goodwill's estate just to see someone move towards the abandoned farm not far away from the ambassador's goods and Rue had a sneaky suspicion that someone would be Bahbah. This place however –Rue noted, was neither abandoned nor a farm.

"You know…" Miranda whispered next to her. "I was going to buy us a slave and have a tracer placed on whoever delivered her, but this…this worked out much better."

Rue shook her head before giving the informant a look of utter disbelief. "Let's just hope this Bahbah girl knows something worthwhile."

"BARAHONA."

"Yeah, yeah. She's a little rat, that's all I need to know." Rue muttered turning a corner stopping dead in her tracks.

The underground facility underneath the farm held thousands of large pods containing human bodies floating in yellow tinted liquid hanging from the ceiling. Walking closer to stand in front of the grotesque view Rue let her eyes sweep across the rows. All of the bodies in the pods looked similar to the informant, in different stages of the growing process.

"Rue…" She could hear the informant grow increasingly anxious, and she slowly backed away.

"Joker, I'm sending you our coordinates to our position." Rue said as her eyes fell on the examination chair next to a clinically clean table.

She heard the informant stir behind her then she heard the familiar sound of clips being loaded. Raising her pistols in front of her she swung around trying to determine where the sounds had come from. One, two, three, four…she kept counting the clicks, spinning around, eyes darting back and forth. They were more than just a dozen enemies in there. Miranda flared her biotics moving in a circle as well trying to pin point their attackers. There was nothing to hide behind, no shelter to be taken apart from behind that sole examination chair. She cursed under her breath as she heard footsteps approach. There was only one way to run and that was the way they had come from.

"Time to roll Lawson." She hissed grabbing the informant by the arm before taking off only to nearly run into a black wall of armed soldiers. "What the hell…"

"_What's going on over there Commander?" _Joker asked apprehensively sounding suddenly serious and concerned his normally light hearted tone gone.

Placing herself between Miranda and the soldiers Rue kept her pistols raised.

"I've taken out a lot more than you –a whole damn Reaper invasion to be precise."

"Put down your weapons soldier." The young girl from the estate said emerging from behind the row of soldiers dressed in black. She wore the same military outfit, her hands carrying two pistols of her own.

"I knew you couldn't be that pert." Rue snarled her eyes narrowing.

"Funny. People always buy that stupid act. Look around you Commander, you are overpowered and your only exit has been blocked. You really should put down your guns."

"Make me." Rue snarled still protecting the informant with her body.

Barahona sneered. "I used to look up to you Commander, but someone paid me a lot more than what my admiration for you could ever give me. It's too bad it had to end like this."

Rue felt herself jerked up from the ground, blue biotic flames surrounding her as she crashed onto the hard floor. Something broke with an unpleasant snap and she grunted loudly. She heard Miranda fire off her own biotics only to be tossed across the room smashing into the wall.

"_Shepard!"_ She heard Joker shout down her earpiece. Answering would only alert their enemies that they had back up. Somewhere.

"_Where the hell are they?"_ Jacob shouted across the intercom as the companions started rallying back to their space shuttle. _"We need that drop off point Joker!"_

Standing up she let her guns drop to the floor. She needed to distract them until the rest of her unit arrived.

"_They're back at the estate. Somewhere close, sending the coordinates now."_ Joker said sounding tense and focused.

"Fine. I'll be a good girl, I won't play with my guns, if you don't play with yours." She sneered. "Look, we were only looking for the rest room, no need to bring the squad on us, eh?"

Barahona snorted. "I _know _who you are commander Shepard. We were supposed to pick up from the empty warehouse at Linnely Hill, but it seems the two of you were smarter than that. You weren't supposed to see this place."

"What this giant freak show of pods?" Rue said as she heard the companions bustling about trying to reach them in time. Miranda had gotten up to stand next to her when they heard the soft click of a grey door to their left side. Turning their heads they saw the door swing open, a tall man stepping out from the room. He looked eerily familiar. The coldness and the eyes looked like someone else's she knew. She could feel Miranda grab her arm, her nails digging in to the thick fabric of her armour.

"Welcome home daughter."

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

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**DISCLAIMER: **In case someone forgot, Mass Effect 2 & Mass Effect belongs to BioWare, anything else I made up. Huge thanks to BioWare for being so awesomely cool about fans doing their fanfics, fanart etc with getting the hump, much like other companies such as Warner Bros (yeah big fat dig! lol).

**AN. **Alright, so I wanted to explain some stuff before I let you all run off.

Firstly, yeah I know…this chapter turned out to be a MONSTER; 8000 words, but I hope you forgive me. :P Also, I love writing this fanfic –even if I do update slowly, and the response I've gotten is amazing and I really do try to post as frequently as I can. Having said that I'm planning a wedding for next month so please bear with the slow updates for just a bit longer. I have such cool ideas for where I want this story to go so I hope you stay on the ride till the very end. :) Thanks again to all of you who read this story, review, fave it, subscribe to it… :) To those of you who I can't PM: Illusive Reader, M, and Bookworm: Thank you for reviewing and reading, I really hope you keep enjoying the story as it progresses.

Secondly, the part where Larkin watches Miranda and thinks that she doesn't have the ability to feel compassion was actually written to show how little he actually know her. He always just refers to her as his subject that he created and that she really doesn't have a choice in anything she does, because he's already manipulated her to make those choices. I wanted to show that he was wrong in thinking so. That Miranda is completely different than when she left, just that Larkin –being the ego-maniacal bastard he is, thinks he knows everything there is to know about her.

Thirdly, want to keep up with my writing and the progress of it? You can always add me on twitter my nickname is (a)SuperNerdMe. I post sneak peaks and stuff there. :) Ok, now I'll let you all go. Again thank you for staying with me!

Till next time!

~Elmjuniper


	13. The Only Way Is Forward

**DISCLAIMER:** We all know I don't owe nothing. Bioware does. Even parts of Rue since she is based on the ingame's Shepard. ;P Having that said, I'm glad Bioware is generous enough to let me borrow their chars and universe for a little while. :)

**A.N:** Yeah...ok, so...last time I update was June sometime. Wow...I'm really sorry it took such long time. I was thrown a couple of curveballs and it's taken a little time to get back on track again. My ex-fiancée broke off the engagement 2 weeks before the wedding (which actually was a really good thing, it turned out) and it's been a bit of an interesting path ever since and whatever inspiration I had before was like evaporated. :/ I'm so sorry, I know lots of you are subscribing and really enjoy the story, but I felt it was better to leave it instead of forcing out something crappy and letting the story down.

Ok, so I _KNOW _Miranda's father's name is Henry Lawson, but…how _boring _is that? He's supposed to be this man people look up to and are charmed by and admires because of his great empire, yet he works for the IM's lab? Err…so, I'm going to stick with my version of a very charismatic and authoritarian Larkin Hannoway. If you mind…well, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to change it. I do hope it won't put you guys off and don't worry, I have a way of interpreting what happens in ME3, should I need to… Hmm…what else? Well, if someone feels like they have the time, I'm still looking for a beta reader. PM me if you feel up for it. :) This also means –seeing as my first language isn't English- there will be typos and some grammatical errors, please forgive me for that and don't be shy to point them out to me so I can change it. :)

If you do feel like keeping daily track of me I can be found on twitter as: SuperNerdMe, drop me a note! :)

Anyway, I hope you all like the new chapter and I really hope to be doing a lot more writing from now on. :) And as always thank you for your continued support and patience with me! And thanks for all the wonderful reviews and the subscriptions, they are the greatest thing. :)

~Elmjuniper

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_Now that I know what it's like, to have someone who loves you, to love someone, I wonder how I ever went without. I used to love being on my own, reading by my desk in the dim light, the quietness my friend and confidant. I never knew silence could be so deafening._

**THE ONLY WAY IS FORWARD**

_FINGERS LACED WITH FINGERS, SKIN burning against skin. The commander's aroused breathing surrounding her, her own moans bouncing back from Rue's chest like a soft echo. Rue's lips caressed her jaw line, her free hand taking her places she never could have imagined. The Commander was closer, closer than anyone had ever been before, filling her senses with her presence. She could feel her lover's well-toned arms holding her weight up. The commander was always so gentle with her, yet firm and dominant. She felt the intense, growling sensation grow into a storm inside her as she pulled Rue closer, sinking her teeth into her shoulder muffling her soft cry. Rue snarled at the sharp sensation her teeth caused her as Liara's fingers pushed her over the last edge, urging her to let go and embrace the swirling, overwhelming passion ensuing them both._

The first hint of morning tickled her face and her eyes fluttered open as the dream slipped away from her mind, like a secret lover silently leaves the bedside of his mistress. She stared at the empty side of her bed, her fingers stroking it absentmindedly. If she didn't know better she could have sworn Rue was there, but the bed was just as empty and cold as it had been when she had gone to...she sat up with a jolt, suddenly wide awake. This was not the side she usually slept on. She sat up on her knees staring wildly about the bed and the room. How had she gotten here? She could clearly remember getting up and going to work. She snorted. How could she forget work after the surveillance feed she had seen from Cerberus' Normandy? But then what? She rubbed her forehead feeling a dull throbbing at the back of her head.

"That man." She mumbled to herself. That man who had stepped out from the shadows out of nowhere when she was hurrying down the crowded streets of Nos Astra that she had crashed into. That was the last thing she remembered. Why? Still drowsy she tried to think of what she had done yesterday, but found she couldn't remember much. What had she been doing rushing down the streets anyway? Where had she been going?

Slipping out her bed she felt the cold unforgiving floor underneath her bare feet. That man was the key and the only way she could find out what happened was back at her office. Having feeds streamed to her apartment was like giving away credits account and affirmation codes at the same time, but regardless she would find out who this man was and when she did he would not be happy he crossed her path.

~•~

"Miranda." He said smiling widely. "It's good to see you after all these years." He could see the emotions raging inside his daughter, a mixture of horror and anger on her face. He sneered. She knew she'd been tricked. The commander stood next to her looking lethal, a stone cold and threatening expression on her face. He tried not to wince admitting that if he didn't have his small army standing like an ominous dark arch behind him he would have felt rather intimidated.

"You touch her – you _die_." The commander snarled. He had no doubt she wouldn't hesitate to make good on that threat. Still he kept smiling. Never let your enemy know your fear.

"Rue Shepard, I've been looking forward to see you." He said coolly.

"I can't say the feeling is mutual." The commander spoke sternly, her eyes searching for a way out. He smiled inwardly. One had to be impressed by how the commander did not yet feel defeated despite him outnumbering them greatly.

He turned his gaze towards his daughter, his experiment. "You're looking as beautiful as ever. Then again, you do have the genes for it."

"What do you want?" She spoke in a hostile voice.

"To see you, of course. I have been looking for you for quite a while after all."

"We both know that isn't true." Miranda nodded towards the armed forces surrounding them.

He chuckled. "Just a precaution, my dear. After all last time my best men ended up like gruesome smear on the walls." He turned towards Rue. "She is very good with a gun." He turned back towards Miranda, eyes gleaming. "Wouldn't you say so _daughter_?"

She didn't reply. She loathed him. He could see it on her face.

"So how do you like my new facility?" He said holding his arms out demonstratively before smiling a little awkwardly. "You weren't really supposed to see this."

"So it was you who sent that clue." The commander stated.

"Very clever. Although I truly wished you hadn't seen this place..." His voice turned cold as he gave a small nod to his armed forces. "I had hoped that you had lived to keep peace in the galaxy Commander." He looked over at the pods hanging from the ceiling. They were so beautiful and they were all his. And the project had returned to the base, but she had brought the commander with her. Miranda wouldn't remember the procedure. He had programmed her that way all those years ago, for this day. The commander however would remember everything and if Miranda found out about her condition in the early stages she could terminate it, but after three months, there would be no returning for the project. It would not be possible to terminate. At least Dr. Banner had some good ideas of his own. Miranda's life was as dependent on the child's survival as the child was dependent on her for its.

"You see...I can't have you walking out of here alive." He said staring the commander dead in the eyes.

"Well, I wasn't planning on dying again anytime soon." The commander snapped before grabbing his daughter's shoulder twisting her body, shielding them both as a painfully bright light suddenly exploded inside the laboratory. He screamed covering his eyes, hearing assault rifles being fired, loud voices yelling. His vision blurred fiercely and he swayed forward. It only took him and his troops a few seconds to regain their senses still as they all stood firm on their feet again the spot where the commander and his daughter had stood at was empty. Feeling his rage explode he stared furiously around him.

"Find them!" He roared vehemently. This was his only chance. If Miranda escaped now she was sure to run into hiding even if it meant leaving Cerberus. The plan had already gone astray, this had to be sorted out or he would fail. He couldn't use anyone but Miranda even if using a random womb or even just keeping it in one of the pods would have been easier. Somehow Dr Banner had calculated that she was the genetic key. The reason none of his other subjects would survive after the initial stage was tied to Miranda, to her body, to her genetic build. Dr Banner had been astonished to realize that with a biologically engineered woman, the eggs could not survive in someone else's womb. The DNA was somehow locked to each other and the child would not survive in one of her replacements' wombs. It was like an amazing circle of life. The child and the mother would be dependent on each other for survival. One could not live without the other one the last stage had been entered. He couldn't lose her now, not when they were this close, he wouldn't allow it. Failure was not an option. Larkin rushed down the corridor behind his troops. He did not do failure, only weak people did. He sneered. Miranda was far more unpredictable than he had thought, but he had something she didn't. Pulling out the small device in his hand he shouted orders at his heavily armed troops.

"Do NOT hurt the subject, but _kill _the Commander if you must."

~•~

Growing up hadn't been as hard as she sometimes recalled it, in fact it had been quite easy. It was only the prying eyes of the curious and sometimes narrow-minded Asari around her that had made her feel different. It didn't quite help that her mother had chosen to mate with another Asari. It was strange, at the same time as she was an outcast from the society she grew up in they all expected her to become a matriarch and follow her mother's impressive career. She'd always hated the attention, both the good and the bad. Maybe that was what had influenced her the most to pick the career she had, it allowed her to run away, to hide from all those Asari and their expectations of her. It was easy, it had always been easy to be alone, but as shy as she was and as terrified of the commander as she was she couldn't help but feeling drawn to this enigmatic person and as curious as it was the commander had wanted to know more about her.

"Me? I'm afraid I'm not very interesting Commander." Liara could still remember their first conversation and she smiled shaking her head slightly where she sat behind her desk searching through her channels, hacking in to the city's virtual dumpster. That's what they called the server which held all the surveillance coverage of the city until it became scrapped and turned into nothing but thin air. Most people thought a deleted file had been removed once it was deleted, but this is where everything hovered, like the limbo of all virtual life. She squinted at the screen. This wasn't really stealing anything. It was merely recycling whatever others had thrown away.

"I hear humans appreciate such things." She muttered to herself. "Let's see how much you will like it once I've found out everything there is to find about you." She added triumphantly as she pulled out a folder with surveillance footage from Nos Astra's Market floor, the last place she remembered from four days ago.

Her face turned grim. Nyxeris had left nearly twenty messages, 'where had she gone?', 'why wasn't she returning her calls?', 'why hadn't she been to the office?', and 'was everything ok?' Four days she'd been gone for and this man had something to do with it. She watched the screen, her meticulous eyes sweeping across it until she found the mystery man. His face was hidden by shadows and she swore under her breath as she tried to pull up the picture in the facial database register.

"Who are you?" She squinted at the screen. This man must have known about the security cameras. No matter the angle his face was always covered by either shadows or the sun's bright light blinded the camera. She watched herself walk into the man then someone had altered the clip. One minute she stumbled into the man, the next the spot they'd been standing on was empty without any trace of either of them. She looked up from her screen. Who could have manipulated the footage without leaving any trace?

"The Shadowbroker…"

~•~

Chairs and desks flew across the room, shattering into a million pieces in the air around them as they sprinted through the underground facility. Rue could feel the informant press towards the exit next to her. Miranda kept throwing whatever loose objects she could find at their followers who easily crushed them with their bullets and biotics. Gritting her teeth Rue swiped her guns at the side of her thighs before twisting her body, releasing the bullets. They tore from the Phalanx's mouth with a loud hiss digging themselves into their targets. Scrambling towards safety she leapt across a desk that had been shoved in front of them by one of Larkin's biotics to block their way. She landed clumsily, but kept running, grabbing Miranda's arm as the raven haired woman was hit by a file cabinet and nearly stumbled. The sound of the battle was deafening as they navigated the maze of corridors, her shoulder blazing with pain as she crashed through one of the lab doors. The biotic had tossed her like she weighed nothing. She had met many biotics throughout her time with the Alliance, but this one was stronger than the regular biotic. How was that possible? What did that crazy man feed them?

Heavy armoured boots crashed across the slick floors behind them, their commander shouting out orders at his soldiers. What the hell did he want? It wasn't just about seeing Miranda. Rue had met many men like Larkin Hannoway and she knew what they were all about. It was all about the power and there was always an ulterior motive, she just didn't know what it was yet and by the surprised and shocked look upon the informant's face she suspected Miranda was just as unknowing as to what it could be.

She could hear Miranda's breathing next to her, strained and laboured. Throwing her a quick glance Rue growled. She had two more grenades. A bullet grazed against her armour and she shouted angrily, grabbing one of the grenades, tossing it behind her as they sped through the corridor.

"This way!" Miranda shouted next to her as she suddenly dropped to the side sprinting down a short corridor pushing a thick iron door open.

Rue followed firing her guns at their pursuer, hilts spraying all around her, their soft clanking against the cold floor a rhythmic companion to the popping sound of her pistols. She saw the informant use both her hands to blast the closest enemies with a biotic wall, her whole hands and arms seemingly ablaze with blue biotic flames. She pulled up next to the informant releasing her last grenade before shutting the heavy door close, barring it from the inside. Stairs. They were underground, stairs meant a way to the surface.

"Joker! Can you read me?" She shouted as they scrambled up the narrow stair, Larkin and his soldiers working frantically at the blocked door. A little biotic and some fire power would solve their problem. It might have bought them a few seconds and seconds could be the difference between life and death.

"Commander? We've got your location, taking ground in T minus ten minutes!" The helmsman's voice crackled through the static.

"Make it quick, Joker." Rue confirmed through gritted teeth.

"Almost there!" Miranda quickened her pace reaching for the door's handle when Rue suddenly felt her head spin and her vision blur, her body feeling as if it was suddenly heavy as cement.

"Wha...?" She nearly hit the ground before the informant caught her.

"Rue?" Miranda's words rung oddly in her ears, like a distant muffled echo. She stared around in bewilderment, her eyes working frantically to remain focused. "Stand up!" She heard the informant shout.

Feeling a wave of nausea take over she tried to stand up, her arms and legs not obeying her. _I can't move! _She tried to scream through the thick fog building up in her head, but her lips didn't move. She felt Miranda pull her arm around her neck dragging her towards the opened door. The soldiers' shouts and bullets being fired made odd uneven noises, slowing then suddenly increasing and intensifying. Feeling herself dragged across the roof of the building, something warm trickled down from her nose and ears.

"Shepard! Come on!" She heard Miranda struggle with her moving closer to the edge of the rooftop.

"There is nowhere to run, Miranda." Larkin's cold voice rang through the air. She shook her head in an attempt to clear it from the heavy fog as Miranda spun them around, her one hand glowing with her biotics.

"Don't get any closer." She warned him.

"She's going to bleed to death unless you do as I say." Larkin held a small device in the air almost triumphantly. Rue could feel the Miranda waver when she saw her and suddenly the biotic that had been building up in her hand seemed to flicker with uncertainty reminding Rue of an engine burning out. _What are you doing?_

_~•~  
_

Banner Grenway stood inside the room staring at the petri dish with a knot building slowly in his stomach. Was this right? What they did. Did he really have this under control? He had calculated it so thoroughly in his head, made estimates and planned, but then he had seen her again –Miranda- and suddenly he didn't feel so certain anymore. There had been something about her. Maybe it was how she'd seemed to stop breathing for a slight second at the sight of her father or maybe it was the determination to escape him once again that bothered him. His hands shook as they moved towards the small dish. There was no turning back now. What Miranda wanted, could he really sacrifice the possibilities this would open for that? For the greater good.

"This must be done." He whispered quietly to the petri dish almost as if he expected an answer, a blessing of some sort, then he released it and it slid over into the palm of his glove clad hand. There was no turning back now.

~•~

"You didn't you could run from me, Miranda? Never forget..._I _created you." Her father wore a triumphant look on his face, "time to say goodbye to the commander."

"NO!" Miranda heard herself scream, her biotics exploding like a storm of fire, engulfing her completely.

"Marvelous." Her father's eyes gleamed as he stared at her in wonder. Then a blaring bang went off and Rue slumped down, blood spilling onto the grainy rooftop. "Toss her." Larkin motioned with his head as one of his guards walked up to the commander's lifeless body.

Miranda threw herself at him, the sudden surge of biotic power reverberating through her body, unlike any sensation she had ever had before. The biotic raged within her, but before she could grip it and channel it, it swept through her lashing out like flames all around her and before she could reach the guard she felt two pairs of strong arms restrain her. Fighting desperately to free herself she tried to reach Rue where she lay as she felt herself dragged backwards towards a waiting helicopter. Miranda tried pushing off the ground with her feet, tried jerking her arms free, her biotics burning her skin as she screamed in anger. The guard dragged the commander across the roof top until he reached the edge where he put his foot on Rue's arm. Then, with one swift motion, he rolled her over and she toppled off the edge and Miranda felt the world stop and shatter as her legs folded beneath her. She stared numbly at the thin line of the edge were Rue had just lain, blinking away the tears as the sound of her ragged breath pounded in her head. The two thugs locking her arms behind her pulled her back up on her feet then a black linen bag was pulled over her head and her world turned black.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	14. In The Face Of Fear

**A.N: **Ok, so this chapter has been done for quite a while, but had to go through the BETA meat grinder a few times after I brushed it up a couple of times (and still there was work for my beta to do!). :) I want to give huge props to my awesome BETA-reader: iu-atticus for going through this monster and giving me suggestions to improve the story even more.

Someone else I want to thank is my wonderful, better half who inspires me to write when I don't feel like it, who helps me when my language fails me and who catches me every time I fall. Without her I would never have found my way back to myself or writing again.

To every single one of you who take time to read my chapters and this story and to those of you who review: THANK YOU. Your reviews make my day and they keep my going when the going gets tough. ;)

So with no further ado, enjoy and until next time.

~Elmjuniper

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_There were so many things that were uncertain when we met, but as I sit here in this empty, quiet room, I remember that if it was one thing I knew, that was surer than anything –it was that I loved her._

**IN THE FACE OF FEAR**

IT WASN'T THAT SHE WAS selfish or tired. It wasn't even about being immature, but sometimes the only thing Rue Shepard wanted to do was to run away where no one could find her ever again, to have someone else fight the Reapers and deal with the politics of the Council. All she wanted was for someone else to save the galaxy this time. And if not, a little gratitude and a vacation wouldn't be so bad.

Where she hung a hundred feet up in the air, arm wedged between a fire escape and the wall, her shoulder popped out of its socket, blood still dripping from her nose and the tip of a bullet digging into the flesh underneath her collarbone, she thought that for once her wish to just be left alone wasn't too much to ask. She could hear the buzzing of crickets somewhere below her and under different circumstances she was certain she would enjoy the view of the immaculate night sky from where she was. Why was it always during different circumstances with her? It had always been like that, with everything she did. Under different circumstances her family would still be alive. Under different circumstances she would have been dead. Under different circumstances she wouldn't have met the informant.

Miranda. She felt the anxiety build up inside her like the strong currents in the ocean that swirl and pool until they pull its victim under and drown him. Her father had gotten her and there was nothing Rue could do from where she hung to save Miranda. All Rue could do was wait until her crew arrived and with a crazy man like Larkin, who knew what would happen or where he'd take her. Every second that passed felt like an eternity to the commander where she dangled, knowing that every moment lost could be taking the informant miles away from her. I can't lose you now.

"Commander?" Joker's voice rang too loudly in her ear and she grunted in displeasure. Trying not to move she felt her shoulder blaze with a thundering sort of pain, quickly coursing through the injured section before dissipating back to an aching throb.

"Shepard? If you can hear me look down."

Shifting where she hung while trying not to fall she saw her companions pile out of the shuttle, scrambling towards the fire escape with Garrus and Jacob in the lead, closely followed by Jack and Dr. Chakwas. Closing her eyes she thought that perhaps not being left alone had its benefits.

"Hold, Shepard," Jack said, sounding more concentrated than usual. She could feel a pang of pain shoot out from her shoulder as Jack lifted her with her biotics, setting her down on the ground gently. Dr. Chakwas was at her side instantly, working swiftly to remove the broken chest piece from the rest of her armour.

"Easy!" She snapped through her pain where she stood, feeling light headed. Even the slightest movement sent a ripple of pain through her body intensifying it and she clenched her teeth together to try and cope with the intense discomfort.

"I'm sorry, Shepard, but I'm afraid there is no way of going easy with this," Dr. Chakwas said as she finally managed to remove the piece and hand it off to Jacob who stood next to her, a concerned look on his face. "See if you can do anything about that," she ordered him before grabbing Rue by the arm and leading her off. "I have medi-gel in the shuttle."

"Commander, where's Miranda?" Jacob asked as he helped her sit down on the examination table.

"He got her," was all she said, clenching her jaw at both the pain and admitting Larkin got the best of her.

"Who did?" He asked his eyebrows drawing together slightly.

"Her father," She said as she screwed her face up in pain letting out a low groan as Dr. Chakwas applied medi-gel on the wound before she started to sew her back up. Chakwas' experienced hands worked quickly with the thread and needle making it seem almost effortless, eyes focused, locked on the flesh she was working on.

"Jacob, can you track her omni-tool?" She wheezed out as Chakwas started to feel her shoulder, poking and squeezing it.

"No, something's blocking her signal," the soldier said with a beaten edge to his voice.

"We should get you back to the Normandy," Chakwas muttered before looking at Jacob. "Collect the others and tell Joker to prepare for pick up."

"What?" Rue's head spun as she lifted her head, looking right at the doctor.

"Shepard, you've been shot and your shoulder has been dislocated. In addition to that, Mr. Hannoway used an unknown device to do severe damage, causing you to bleed from both your nasal cavity and Eustachian tube. We cannot be sure how much damage that caused or if it damaged your nerves or even your brain." Chakwas had known Rue for as long as Rue had been working for Anderson, but by the look on her face Chakwas knew what Rue was thinking.

"We're not leaving her behind," Shepard said sternly.

"Commander," Chakwas started, but Rue interrupted her before she could finish her sentence.

"If I can break my back for the galaxy, then I sure as hell am going to break it for my crew!" She snarled, grabbing a small container of medi-gel, biting off its lid with her teeth. "Now push the goddamn thing back in to its place," She exclaimed as she spat the lid out and it landed with an almost inaudible click on the floor.

Chakwas stared at her before sighing, shaking her head. "You always were stubborn," she muttered and grabbed the commander's arm and thrust it back in its place. There was a sharp intake of breath before the commander's cursing filled the shuttle.

~•~

Dark smoke billowed up towards the dusky night sky, the fire crackling and popping ominously as burning embers floated like snowflakes before burning out and falling to the ground. A crow circled the debris, crying shrilly across the luscious fields of barley swaying in the brisk night air. Miranda woke up with a gasp, every bone and muscle in her body hurting. Her head spun as a strange sense of nausea overwhelmed her. Feeling her lungs fill with smoke she stirred and a sharp pain in her ribs caused her to whimper.

She was pinned down by something heavy and she gritted her teeth as she lifted her hands towards her head to pull off the bag her father's guards had forced her to wear. Cursing at the pain it caused, she found the straps securing it around her neck and untied it. Pulling it off her head she blinked at the sudden burst of light from the flames licking the helicopter's broken shell. Her eyes watered from the painful sensation and she had to blink to adjust to the strong, flickering light. The pilot lay sprawled motionless in his seat, the co-pilot's body slung halfway out through the window and the rest of her father's goons lay scattered across the ground around the crash site. Then she saw her father's familiar suit, his head buried underneath a pile of large cargo. She closed her eyes and looked away, the heat from the fire starting to burn her skin. Pushing at the dead guard pinning her down in her seat she groaned loudly in pain and frustration when his body wouldn't budge.

"Come on…!" She swallowed the last words in an attempt to keep her nausea under control, but the strong smell of gasoline and burnt flesh overwhelmed her and she leant over to the side and vomited. She screwed up her face, spitting on the floor next to her before letting her head hang.

She was tired. So tired. When was the last time she had a good night's sleep? All these reports, the Illusive Man who kept reminding her to finish the project on time, to finding…the…the…her thoughts spun incoherently in her head. Where was she? Where was Shepard? How did she get here? She slowed her thinking until a memory slipped into her mind. Rue fell to the ground her eyes wide in shock. _No!_ A weakened sob escaped her lips as she tried to shake the pictures of Rue rolling across the edge of the rooftop. Every emotion she had ever pushed away seemed to come at her from every angle, their power tenfold in strength, her will to keep them under control weakened from the stress of the past few days, rattling her body as they slowly suffocated her, making her feel as if she couldn't breathe. She lifted her hands towards her face, covering her mouth trying to stifle the loud cry erupting from her lips as she wept uncontrollably where she sat.

~•~

"How could this happen?" The former Alliance soldier asked as he slid onto the seat in front of her where she sat watching the hologram map of their surroundings. The doctor had patched her up and the pain had been dulled to an annoying throbbing. She clenched her jaw, not taking her eyes off the hologram, the rest of the crew waiting outside the shuttle for new orders after having searched the entire area for any signs of the informant. Grunt had glared angrily around the facility as they searched it and when they arrived at the pods he'd growled angrily to himself.

"So, cheerleader really is a living doll," the convict had uttered as they all stared at the hundreds of pods hanging from the ceiling.

"It's easy to judge someone else when you don't know what it's like," the Krogan had spoken with uncharacteristic solemnity.

It was easy to forget that Grunt, just like Miranda, was the finished product of others' genes. Whatever he was, he had been programmed and engineered to be. He was the perfect specimen of a Krogan because someone had made him that way. It was the first time Rue had realized Grunt was a lot like the informant with his struggle of finding his own place in this life and his own purpose, striving to deserve the qualities he'd be given.

"How, Commander?" Jacob repeated his question, his tone demanding an answer.

She had dreaded this for a while, the inevitable confrontation between the two of them. She had always found Jacob to be difficult to talk to, but ever since that day when Jack let slip to the rest of the crew that Miranda had spent the night in Rue's cabin the soldier had been even more tight lipped, keeping Rue at arm's length. She hated to admit she had found it easier not to talk to him, focusing on the mission rather than the rivalry that had seemingly flared up from the soldier's side. She refrained from sighing. The time had come to deal with this once and for all.

"We were outnumbered and outgunned," she said quietly as she lifted her face, meeting his scrutinizing gaze. He folded his arms across his chest angrily.

"You took down Saren with no losses yet somehow this time you were outnumbered?" Jacob snorted in disbelief, not comprehending the situation.

Rue felt her temper flare to life with the stress and pain finally getting to her.

"No losses?" She stood up, wearing a dark expression, her voice suddenly angry. "I lost a friend taking down Saren. A damn _good _one at that and _a lot_ of good soldiers and innocent civilians lost their lives. That does not count as coming out of that with no losses." She leaned forward, staring him dead in the eyes. "Don't you think I blame myself, Jacob? Every death, every injury sustained, don't you think it affects me as well? I'm not invincible, Jacob. You of all people should know that." His eyes flickered before he lowered his gaze.

"I'm sorry, Commander, I'm just worried. If Miranda's father got her there's no telling what he could do. I guess I just thought she was safe with you," He said, his last few words cutting her like the unsharpened edge of a sword. He was right. Miranda should have been safe with her.

"I know you care about Miranda, she's your friend, but we can't turn on each other. That's not how we do this. We work as a team," Rue said feeling the anger subside as she watched the soldier in front of her. He only reacted as anyone would when they cared for someone.

"You care about her too," he said slowly. Rue wasn't quite sure who he said it to, her or himself.

"I care about all my crew," Shepard amended, not quite ready to divulge her feelings to anyone other than the woman they were toward.

"She cares a great deal about you, Shepard. I can see it in the way she looks at you," his tone had lowered and he spoke with a sense of remorse. He still loved the informant. Shepard leaned forward, grabbing his shoulder.

"We'll get her back. I promise," Rue tried to assure him, applying a firm squeeze to his shoulder before letting her hand drop.

He nodded. "Okay, just let me know what you need me to do," he said hesitantly as if his abrupt confrontation had changed Rue's view of him. She smiled inwardly. There was a time when such things would have bothered her as well, but that seemed like a long time ago. When you're not the captain of your own ship, you can't afford to upset too many people without it affecting your status on the ship. In this case, she understood Jacob's emotions and decided to act as if this quarrel had never happened. She suspected it would benefit their professional relationship in the long run. She huffed. Whatever that was; hours, days, months? Who knew when they would be ready to head into the Omega 4 relay? Would they ever be completely ready before launching the mission anyway? She took a deep breath, snapping back to the impending reality.

"Right, now I need you to go help Joker and Thane. See if Joker and EDI can locate a helicopter registered for a flight in this area or if any unauthorized flights have been made in the recent hours and see if Thane has any _intel_ that might give us a lead," Rue said, slipping back into her commanding role easily.

"Yes, Commander." He nodded curtly before leaving the commander to stare at the hologram again. It remained just as absent of the informant's tracking signal as before.

"Skipper," the Turian spoke softly as he ducked into the shuttle. "How are you holding up?"

She chuckled. "Not too bad. Please, tell me you've got something for me."

The Turian scratched the nape of his neck. "She's off the radar, Shep, but they're working on it," he said, sounding hopeful.

"I should have known better," Rue said, shaking her head at the situation she found herself in.

"Really, Shepard?" He said, wearing a questioning look on his face. "How?"

"I got distracted, Gar." She let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration.

"You blame yourself too much, Shep. We all missed the clues."

"But it was right there, Gar. How could I have missed it?" A wave of pain shot through her as she gesticulated angrily with her hands and she made a wry face, grunting in discomfort.

"You know, I'm not usually one to agree with doctors, but maybe Dr. Chakwas is right," Garrus said, eyeing her through his visor. "You did take quite a hit out there, even for you."

She shook her head adamantly. "I let that bastard take her. There is no way in hell I'm not going out there to take him down."

They stared at each other, Garrus obviously determining whether or not it was worth challenging her. Finally he gave a small nod before leaning backwards, his rifle held securely in his hands.

"Well, in that case I guess it's a good thing I'll be out there to save your sorry ass when your wound gets the better of you." He grinned.

"I'm counting on it. " She chuckled, shaking her head before standing up. "Okay, let's take this baby for a ride. We're not going to find her just sitting around."

"Ay, ay, Captain." The Turian ducked out of the shuttle motioning for the rest of the crew to board it.

"Joker," Shepard signalled.

"Commander?"

"Found anything?"

"EDI's scanning the channels but nothing so far. Thane and Jacob are working on air traffic for the last hour or so."

"Damn it," she muttered. "Well, take this shuttle up. I want us to circle a thirty mile radius."

"Copy that, Commander," the helmsman confirmed, preparing the shuttle for takeoff as the crewmembers piled into the small sitting area. Despite so many of them being wary of the informant, they all seemed dedicated to find her. When it came down to it, it seemed no one would allow anyone to be left behind.

~•~

Her breath came in short gasps where she sat strapped into the seat of the tilted helicopter. Opening her eyes she could feel her tears leaving long streaks across her face as they rolled down her cheeks before the heat from the fire vaporized them into thin air. Blinking, Miranda remembered the feel of Rue's soft lips caressing her own. How the commander's strong arms had held her close, their desires merging together, almost driving them both crazy.

She took a deep breath glancing to the side where her father's corpse lay crushed underneath the metallic cargo container. She hadn't even gotten to avenge Rue's death. I'm being selfish, she thought to herself. She might have lost Rue, but what about earth? What about the rest of the galaxy? Suddenly their greatest hero, their beacon of light, had once again vanished. Ceased to exist. Maybe they could bring her back to life? She felt a glimmer of hope rise in her chest and for the first time she could fully understand how the Asari had felt almost three years ago when she helped them recover Shepard's body. She hesitated. Could they though? Bring Rue back a second time? Was there even time for it? Last time it took them two years, though the damage was much more severe. Or would the Collectors have emptied the galaxy of humans before they could revive Rue again –if they could do it.

Miranda suddenly felt childish where she sat crying for her own broken heart when she realized the complications the commander's death posed. And all these questions she had were just scratching the surface. What would Mr. Harper do when he found out about this –About the commander's death? It was her fault. She's the one who insisted on going after her father in a foolish attempt to stop him, to retaliate against him. She, who knew his scheming mind so well, should have foreseen his sick plan. She should have known better than to fall for her father's scheme, but her own feelings and desire, her...love for Rue had distracted her. If she hadn't acted on them maybe Rue would still be alive. Maybe they both would have been more focused and alert. _This is all your fault_, she chided herself. She had singlehandedly doomed earth and the galaxy to be annihilated by the Reapers. How could she have been so naïve? Since when did she make mistakes like this like some stupid schoolgirl? She should have known better than to act on her feelings. She had risked and failed their ultimate mission for her own selfish reasons, not just with Rue, but even the desire to bring her father down was mostly for herself than the rest of the galaxy.

She shut her eyes again. If only she could have kicked the bucket in this crash landing just like the rest of the helicopter's passengers.

_"__You are pathetic, Miranda!" His angry voice echoes throughout the opulent room. "Look at you, so fragile and weak." His voice drips with disgust and discontent._

_"__I gave you everything. I gave you LIFE! And you cannot even follow simple rules? I told you, no socializing with other kids. It will ruin what little chance you have at succeeding." There's a loud shattering noise as his crystal glass with whiskey connects with the cold stone wall. "Did you really think I wouldn't find out, Miranda?" His grip around her wrist is so hard she's frightened it might snap, her skin turning red underneath his strong fingers. "I OWN you, you are _nothing _without me_._" He spits out the last words before shoving her aside, storming out of the large library leaving her shaking with fear._

Her eyes snapped open, defiance burning behind them once again as she started pushing at the dead soldier pinning her into her seat with renewed anger. She might have messed up, but she wasn't a frightened little girl anymore, she wasn't pathetic Miranda Hannoway. She was the CO of the Lazarus project and Shepard's second in command. She had made her way to the top all on her own without her father's help and she had successfully revived the commander the first time and she would find a way to bring Rue back a second time.

~•~

A vast expanse of green, lush fields and forests stretched out below them as far as the eye could see, splashes of ocean blue breaking through the green here and there. Rue's hand held a firm grip on the solid metal bar by the opening in the shuttle where she stood, eyes sweeping across the landscape searching for something –anything– that could help her find Miranda.

"Where the hell are you?" She murmured to herself. This was like trying to find a single credit floating around in outer space –impossible. It was like chasing a ghost and the longer it took, the further away she could be from her. At least with finding a credit in space she could use a good old radar to find its location. The thought made her pause momentarily, her eyebrows knitting together in a thoughtful frown.

"EDI."

"Yes, Commander," EDI responded in her usual robotic tone.

"Have we been able to send any signals to Ms. Lawson's omni-tool?"

"No, Commander. It seems as if she has been completely cut off from any sort of communication."

"Doesn't that mean she has to be somewhere where all radio chatter has been blocked? Since we can't even get a signal through?" Rue asked, the idea formulating further as she processed the information.

"That would seem most likely, Commander." EDI replied dutifully.

"Then we should be able to find out which area that is, correct?"'

"Yes, though it would require me to override restricted files. I am obliged to tell you this, Commander."

"Do it EDI." Her earpiece crackled before an uneasy silence settled. _Come on_... Rue prayed silently to herself.

"Through my analysis I have found five possible locations to where Ms. Lawson could be held."

"Any of those Alliance locations?"

"Two of them are Alliance, one is an estate belonging to Ambassador Goodwill and the last one appears to be Cerberus," EDI announced after what seemed to be a very long moment of silence, strangely sounding conflicted with delivering this information.

"Cerberus?" Why was it that the Cerberus name always seemed to pop up whenever something strange was in the works?

"Shepard, I do not have any records of a Cerberus facility in the providence, but my findings are correct." EDI said, seemingly disturbed by the contradicting information.

"Then that's where we're heading," Rue said, feeling her pulse race with adrenaline. They may finally have a lead on finding Miranda. Turning around she nodded to her companions and they began securing their weapons and armour.

"Shepard, over there." The Drell's voice alerted her. He pointed to their far right where a cloud of smoke rose towards the sky.

"EDI, is the smoke coming from the Cerberus facility?"

"No, Shepard, that appears to be a crash site."

"Then set us down by that bend of the forest, Joker," Rue ordered, eyes scanning the area around the crash site as they drew nearer. "Garrus, you and Jack take the left flank, Thane and Grunt, the two of you go in from the right side of that site. Jacob, you're coming with me."

The shuttle landed with a soft thud on the ground and she gave her companions one last glance before nodding. "Heads clear, eyes sharp people, now move out."

She was on the ground in seconds, closely followed by the others as they spread out through the darkening night. Rue could hear Jacob behind her as they moved swiftly through the trees, the flash light from her Vindicator rifle guiding her through the dusky forest.

Emerging from the forest she could see the debris of the helicopter she'd seen take ground behind Larkin on the rooftop. The smell of burnt flesh and blood consumed her senses and she swallowed thickly, keeping herself from gagging.

"Shepard, if this was Miranda's... I don't see... They're all dead..." Jacob's voice trailed off.

"Keep searching, Jacob." He couldn't be right. She shook her head. There was no way they'd get this close just for Miranda to... She heard herself sharply draw her breath as she saw the familiar lithe frame limp towards them through the thick smoke, head hanging. The way her body slouched forward Rue could tell the informant was disoriented and struggling to stay on her feet. Rue quickened her steps, relief washing over her, the closer she got. Miranda was alive. Miranda lifted her head at the sound of Rue's boots slapping roughly against the grass. Rue could see the informant stop dead in her tracks her hands covering her mouth as she started to blink away the tears. Pulling to a stop in front of the informant she bent her head looking at her soot covered face.

"Are you alright?"

Miranda stooped forward one arm circling Rue's neck as she hid her face at the base of Rue's neck, shoulders shaking violently. Pulling her close, Rue could feel the otherwise so controlled informant's shoulders shake as she fought to regain control of herself again.

"I thought I'd lost you," she murmured softly against Miranda's thick raven hair. The informant chuckled miserably.

"You thought you lost me? I saw you get shot. I thought you were dead."

"You know...I've been told that quite a lot lately." She bent her head resting her lips against Miranda's neck, the warm skin soft against her lips, the remnants of her faint perfume a nice change from the rotting smell around them. Feeling the informant relax into her arms she whispered quietly, almost inaudibly. "I love you." She hadn't meant to say it, but it slipped out before she could think any better of it. She could hear Miranda breathe through her mouth, her nose too stuffed to breathe through.

"Oh God..." It was more of a sob than anything else and Rue felt the informant cling on to her desperately, almost afraid to let go.

"We should get you back to the Normandy, have Chakwas take a look at you," she said after a while, hearing Jacob clear his throat behind them awkwardly. She hadn't noticed the other companions skulking in the shadows at the edge of the forest and she wondered if Miranda might regret this later on. She could feel Miranda nod slowly and they began a slow walk back to the shuttle.

"Garrus, search that crash site for anything that can give us any info."

"I'm on it, Shepard."

~•~

The Normandy had buzzed with conversation once they returned from earth with their second in command in such a poor state. The yeoman had followed them with narrowed eyes as they made their way past the CIC towards the elevator.

She'd been pacing around the mess area while Chakwas examined the informant thoroughly. The Turian had noticed her nervous pacing and handed her a drink.

"I'm on duty," She replied, glaring at the drink in her hand.

"Actually, you're on duty for another... Three, two, one, now you're off." The Turian smiled smugly. "Just drink it."

She shook her head ruefully before downing it, making a face as the hot liquor burned down her throat.

"Shepard?" The informant's voice caught her attention. "Can we talk?" Her eyes fell on the Turian before adding, "In my office." Rue nodded and motioned for Miranda to lead the way.

"How are you holding up?" Rue asked as they rounded the corner to the informant's luxurious office.

"I'm...I'm just fine, but Rue, what happened back on Earth..." Miranda began as the doors slid shut behind them, her eyes studying the floor. "I can't and I won't take it back, but..." Her blue eyes came up to meet with Rue's emerald ones. "I think we were being reckless..."

Rue sighed, sitting down in one of the plush chairs that decorated the informant's office.

"I think you're right."

"So, what do we do?" Miranda asked as she dropped into the chair opposite Rue's.

"I almost lost you, Miranda, and the worst part is that I wasn't even taking the mission into account when going after you. When I'm near you..." Her voice trailed off.

"Maybe we should put things on hold until this whole thing is over? After all of this, maybe we could... Pick up where we left off?" The informant sounded as if she was convincing herself it was a good idea rather than trying to convince Rue. She chuckled shaking her head at Rue. "Of all the places to fall in love, who would have thought it'd be under circumstance such as these?"

Rue smiled before turning serious. "You know, we might not come back..." The rest of her sentence was interrupted by Miranda's plump lips pressed gently against hers, effectively silencing Rue before she could finish.

"Don't Rue. This isn't ending things. It's just putting it on hold until things gets better."

"I know."

"Then make sure you come back to me. You can't die on me out there." She leaned back into her chair locking eyes with Rue. "Promise me."

"I promise."

"Good." The informant seemed satisfied with that answer.

"Good."

"You should probably get back to running this ship then." Miranda smiled before standing back up.

"Fine, but I still think you should sleep with me at least once so we know if it's all worth it," Rue muttered, earning herself a moment's laughter from the informant.

"GO!" Miranda laughed, shoving her towards the doors.

"Okay, okay. I'll see you around then, Ms. Lawson." Rue winked as she turned around, leaving the informant chuckling to herself.

~•~

Miranda sighed where she stood, staring out through the panoramic windows, her drink still cold in her hand. It was the third time she'd woken up from the nightmares haunting her sleep. Dreams of men in masks hovering above her, pinning her down and the vile, strong smell surrounding her. She shuddered, hugging herself to keep the night chills out. She'd hoped that the strong drink would help calm her, but it only made her nauseous. Who drank this late anyway?

Looking out she saw planets and specks of dust whizz past the Normandy like blurry streaks. She marvelled at the speed and vast space around them. She never could have imagined that the new Normandy would be able to move at such fast speeds, yet here she stood, not even feeling the motion of the incredible speed they were travelling at. Despite that and despite standing in her own quarters she felt unsafe, as if someone was watching her, ready to attack the moment she wasn't paying attention to her surroundings. She caught the faint reflection of herself in the large windows, a see-through, ghostlike reflection against the placid surface. Years of suppressed fear swirled to life, resurfacing once again. The events back on earth had triggered them all. Her father was dead, still –in this moment– she was scared. Placing the palm of her hand against the cold surface she leaned forward. Did Rue ever feel like this?

The thought of the enigmatic commander left her with a tingling feeling in her chest and she smiled coyly at her reflection. She remembered how Rue had appeared out of nowhere as she'd escaped the helicopter. One minute all she could feel was the loss of someone she had come to love and trust and the next that very same person appeared like some angel of death out of the fire and smoke. She still remembered how tightly and protectively the commander had held her and how she'd allowed herself to melt into Rue, crying until all she did was breathe slowly. She gave her reflection one last glance before nodding, spinning on her heels and setting down her glass as she passed the large desk before slipping out through her quarter's doors.

The area outside of Miranda's office was completely vacant of any other crewmembers as she pulled her robe further closed as she waited for the elevator, the steel floor cold against her bare feet. Staring at them she made a wry face. Maybe she should have worn her shoes. When was this floor last cleaned? Getting into the elevator she decided it was a short enough way to go anyway. As the doors shut, a nimble hand shot between them and Miranda was surprised to see the yeoman enter the lift.

"Ms. Lawson," Kelly greeted her with a suspicious look.

"Chambers." Miranda squirmed awkwardly, well aware that her robe was not exactly protocol to wear on deck.

"Can't sleep?" Kelly tried to sound casual.

"Yes, no, actually there's this thing I was working on and I need the Commander to confirm the details of the upgrades." It sounded better in her head and she could see the yeoman didn't really buy it. _That didn't make any sense at all_.

"You are going to see the Commander? At this hou-"

"Yes, this is my stop and I'll be sure to tell her of your services," Miranda interrupted as she pushed past the yeoman, fleeing the small space of the elevator, pretending to be knocking at Rue's door until she heard the elevator's door shut behind her back.

Using her key card she entered the commander's cabin quietly. It was warm and smelled of Rue's shampoo, a faint scent of honey suckle and magnolia. Rue's room was dark, the enormous fish tank's water mirroring itself on the walls and floor, light-blue circles dancing around the cabin. Rue stirred in her sleep and as she drew closer to the bed she let her robe slip off her shoulder, cascading like pooling waters around her feet. Crawling in under the soft satin cover she placed her hand on Rue's cheek, kissing the sleeping commander ever so gently.

"Miranda...?" Rue murmured as Miranda rolled over to her side, wrapping Rue's arm round her, pulling her close. She could feel Rue's slow breathing caress the back of her neck and she moved further into the commander's arm, nestling closer. Kissing Rue's calloused fingers she fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.

~•~

Banner Grenway stood by the remains of what had once been their underground facility filled with knowledge and information from all the research he had ever conducted. The remains were still glowing from the fire that must have engulfed it. All those projects. Gone. Just like that. They weren't biological humans, but they were humans nonetheless. Had they even felt anything? They were in the pod stasis after all. How would this be explained to the authorities and media? He crouched, picking up a fistful of ash and soot. This was what remained of his life's work. He started at it in his hand before throwing it back at the ground as he heard footsteps approaching from behind.

"They ruined it," he said, almost in a childlike angry manner. "All the pods, all my research. The only notes I have left are from the past few weeks."

The man pulled to a stop next to him, placing his hand on his shoulder.

"Now, now, Dr. Grenway. Why would you worry about those pods when the new project has been successfully activated?"

Glancing to his side, he saw Larkin Hannoway smile broadly, dusting off ashes from his suit.

"She doesn't remember a thing. Good job, doctor."

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	15. Anything Could Happen

**DISCLAIMER: **BioWare owns Mass Effect and its characters. Anything you don't recognize from the game is the work of my wondrous imagination. ;)

**AN: **Ok, I _**know**_ it's been ages and ages ago since I updated. I'm really sorry about that. I've been battling this monster of a writer's block and I really never meant for you guys to have to wait so long in-between the chapters. At the same time I didn't want to publish something that I wasn't satisfied with, something I couldn't be proud of. Anyway, inspiration has been granted to me and I'm very relieved to say that all –expect my first fanfic- is being worked on so no more long periods in-between chapters. With no further ado, here's the next instalment of Losing What We Never Had. I hope you enjoy it, thank you for reading, subscribing etc. If you do enjoy, please leave a review. If you don't enjoy it, please leave a review to let me know why.

Until next time.

~Elmjuniper

Ps. I've lost my beta because of my writer's block, so please excuse any typos, grammatical errors etc. I've done my very best with editing. If you do find errors, please point them out to me so I can change them. :)

* * *

_Love. It wasn't a feeling I had ever felt before and at times the strength of it frightened me. Would I do anything for her? Even risk my own life for her? Would I bring her back from death? The risk of losing her was always present. The thought of losing her was unbearable. _

**ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN**

"I KNOW I'M PROBABLY GOING to get punched in the face for saying this, but are you sure you can trust her?" The helmsman asked as he eyed the informant from where he sat next to Rue.

"We have to trust them."

"And you're saying that as the Commander or as Rue?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" She frowned turning towards her friend.

"People talk, Skipper." Joker made a face.

"Is that so?" Rue narrowed her eyes at him, folding her arms across her chest.

"Look, Rue, this place is even worse than the academy. The Normandy never sleeps and gossip, well…it travels." The helmsman took a deep breath before continuing. "Bottom line here is; can you trust her?"

Rue averted her eyes studying the informant. Miranda was Cerberus, no doubt, but was she really like the rest of them? The yeoman came in to view and Rue snorted. Well, like most of them. Cerberus wasn't like the Alliance. The Alliance represented humans and strove to build a good relationship between the other races that would benefit their place in the galaxy. Cerberus may have the best of intentions, but they had no respect for the other races or the council's strict laws and they believed the means justified the end.

Rue chewed her lip. Cerberus had provided Miranda and her sister with shelter. They had helped the informant protect Oriana. Could Rue really expect Miranda wouldn't be loyal to Cerberus? What would happen if the informant was faced with the choice between the organisation she served and Rue? Where would Miranda's loyalty lie? Would the very part Rue admired about Miranda also be the part that could eventually betray her? This alliance they had was only temporary after all. When the mission was over then what? What would Rue herself do? If this mission was successful would the Alliance even have her back? Would Miranda be considered a liability for her status as a spectre? She paused as the informant turned around catching Rue observing her. The corner of Miranda's mouth quirked upwards slightly and her eyes glinted in the soft light from the kitchen lamps. The informant turned around once again the ends of her onyx hair ruffling softly with the movement. Cerberus and the Alliance aside she had to believe Miranda could be trusted, despite the circumstances.

"I can," she said firmly looking back at Joker.

"So, we'll give them the benefit of the doubt?" He asked, poking the green peas to the corner of his plate.

"That we will." She leant backwards pushing her tray away.

"So..." Joker cleared his throat. "What about," he made a smacking noise with his lips as if he was thinking hard, "Liara?"

Well, she should have expected no less. "Liara and I...we're history. She's moved on and..."

"Oh, I knew it! You have '_moved _on'!" He said wiggling his eyebrows as to emphasize his interpretation of 'move on'.

"What? No! Not that it's any of your business brittle boy, but what I mean to say is that we've both moved on. It's been two years, Joker. And I really, _really _like the cheerleader."

"Ok...you know I've always got your back. As much as a brittle boy can have someone's back." Joker grinned before turning serious. "But what if they betray you?"

"Then we'll rip their hearts out."

~•~

"So," Kelly Chambers eyed her taking a deep breath as she paused theatrically. Miranda squirmed where sat, acutely aware of the awkward tension between them.

"It's been a week since you came back from earth after being kidnapped by your father. How are you dealing with this?" Kelly's tone had changed and the chirpy yeoman sounded austere and professional, emitting confidence and a sense of security where she sat. Much to Miranda's surprise it almost made her want to confide herself in the woman sitting opposite her. She frowned. Suddenly she saw the professional woman Kelly was. She wasn't the jaunty, lively yeoman who would laugh her twinkling, childlike laughter, but a highly competent counsellor. The realization rattled Miranda where she sat. _Chambers will be able to crack you open_.

"Chambers, there's really no need for this. I'm fine."

"The Illusive Man has instructed me personally that you are to undergo an evaluation."

Miranda opened her mouth to protest, but was interrupted by the yeoman who tilted her head slightly.

"Miranda, no harm will come of it. It is only to help you cope with these past events and what you say in here today is strictly confidential."

_From who? _Miranda knew full well that Mr Harper had access to everything that went on onboard the Normandy. He was the Illusive Man after all. Nothing would escape him should he wish to find out more about it.

"I could just refuse. I am the XO of this ship after all."

"Then unfortunately I would have to evaluate you as unfit of making important decisions," the yeoman said matter-of-factly pausing briefly before continuing, "we both know it's the reasonable thing to do and you demand it yourself of the crew to be healthy and focused. In fact, I saw the decision that Commander Shepard is to have weekly checkups with both yourself and Dr. Chakwas to monitor that the haemorrhage she suffered hasn't caused any long term damage. "

Miranda felt her lips thin in dissatisfaction. "Very well." She would play along with Chambers so that the yeoman would just leave her alone.

"Ok then," Kelly said sounding like her old happy self for a slight second. _Aha! So you're still in there._

"So, Miranda, how has this last week been?"

"Hectic, but good." It wasn't a complete lie.

"Hectic?"

"Chambers, we're chasing after the Collectors. Yes, _hectic_."

Kelly seemed didn't seem rattled by her blatant annoyance.

"And how are you sleeping?"

"Just fine." That wasn't a total lie either. She would sneak into Rue's quarters after dark and slip out again before the commander would wake up and confront her about these nightly visits.

"The reports say you leave your office a couple of hours every night. Are you sure you're sleeping ok?"

Taken aback by the yeoman's statement Miranda barely managed to hide her shock. "My door has a glitch. I work late and when I get back it doesn't always register that I'm back." She tried to make it sound more like a valid statement than a question when she said it, but something told her the yeoman didn't really buy her lie.

"And you visit the Commander _most _of the time?"

She opened her mouth to protest, but was silenced by the yeoman. "It says in the transcripts."

A nervous laugh slipped across her lips. "Yes...yes. I have to double check things with her and...it's just a lot easier than running back and forth so..." She paused. "So I bring my dossiers and we simply just finish them off before I return and then, like I said, my door..." Her voice trailed off and she barely kept herself from sighing in defeat. Eying the yeoman she squirmed awkwardly. Kelly's chin rested on her thumb, index finger circling around the tip of her chin.

"When we go through traumatic events the brain processes things during times when we don't find ourselves busy with work. An example of such times would be during the nights." Kelly studied her.

Miranda remained silent, trying to decide where the yeoman was going with this. Kelly seemed to decide that waiting her out was effortless.

"Do you and Rue ever talk about what happened? Why you were abducted?"

"No." Miranda felt herself frown. There was something disturbing about the yeoman's question. _Why _had she been taken? She'd assumed her father was just determined to get her back, but could there be more to it? She shuddered where she sat. He was gone, why did it matter anyway?

The yeoman spoke again. "Do you think you like to work these late hours with the Commander because then you don't have to deal with it?"

"That's ridiculous, Chambers. There's a lot of work to be done and I'm the one who's suppose to make sure everything runs smoothly. This is what a XO does. Works day and night, it's part of my job description and has _nothing _to do with what happened back hom-" she caught herself before continuing, "back on earth."

"Hmm..." The ginger woman said seemingly lost in thoughts. "Miranda, do you remember anything at all from the crash?"

Miranda shook her head. "No, I don't remember anything."

The yeoman gave a small nod before throwing a quick glance at the simple wrist watch she wore. "Very well, it seems our time is up. We'll schedule another one for next week."

"Fine. I'll be in my office." Miranda nodded curtly before getting up leaving the yeoman sitting as she left the awkwardly silent room.

~•~

Liara T'Soni wasn't known for her patience amongst the people she dealt with and as she paced around her office she made a mental note not to glare begrudgingly at Nyxeris next time she teased her about it. Nothing made sense. If it was the Shadow Broker who had been involved in her mysterious disappearance then why had he let her go back home? I didn't make any sense. If the Shadow Broker knew she was on to him he would eliminate her, not whisk her away just to return her to her flat hoping she wouldn't remember anything. If he had intended to scare her by showing her he could get to her wherever he wanted it hadn't worked.

"It's not like you," Liara mumbled as she paced around her office, waiting for her analysis of docking data to clear. Could it have anything to do with Cerberus? Was it possible that they were up so something she wasn't aware of? Could it have something to do with Rue?

She shook her head. No, she had provided them with Rue's body and that knowledge was all they needed for leverage. _It must be something else. _She sighed rubbing her temples when the beeping sound alerted her of the results of the analysis. Three different shuttles matched the dates she had vanished into thin air, none of which she recognized. Her gaze snapped to the side as she saw the one of the shuttles that had docked at Illium the same day.

"Rue!" She whispered in confusion. These leads were all jumbled and misleading. Why had Rue docked at Illium the same day she had gone AWOL?

"Think," Liara muttered to herself. The answer was there. Rubbing her forehead she stared at the three other ships that had docked that day. Two of them left after a few hours, but the third one left only minutes before the Normandy docked.

"That's the one." Grabbing her gun tucking it out of sight she left her office heading towards the docks. They would have the information she needed. Whatever was going on, she was going to find out and if the Shadow Broker was involved it was just another reason for her to kill him.

~•~

Miranda tapped the top of her desk nervously with her thumb, chewing at her lip. There was something about the yeoman's question that bothered her. Staring at her screen the ends of her brows furrowed deeper. The Normandy had registered someone entering her office at a time she was sure she hadn't been around. Checking the surveillance footage she was surprised and disturbed to find..._nothing_. The feed had been either cut off or deleted. It had to be a coincidence. Maybe if she checked the other surveillance cameras they would have been blacked out as well? Maybe there had been a temporary disturbance in the feed? Her fingers flew across the keyboard as she ran the search. Could it be connected to the events back on Earth? Her father had planned that. The information she had found, the auction, everything. The auction had been nothing but a sham, the pods in his facility had only contained clones of herself. He had never had any intention to sell those clones. She shuddered at the memory. Everything was a set up just to get to her, but why? Why not just grab her when she was trying to protect Oriana? Why hadn't he demanded a trade? He knew she would do anything for Oriana, even give up her own life.

She groaned rubbing her temples as the computer collected the data she'd run a search for. What could she remember? The answer had to be there somewhere, if only she could remember. She looked up from the desk in shock, blinking as realisation hit her. _Why _couldn't she remember anything? Why couldn't she remember the crash? Or what happened before it? Rue had found her hours after she'd been taken, but the helicopter hadn't crashed that far away. So what had happened in-between getting abducted and Rue finding her? Closing her eyes she saw images from her nightmares flash before her. Men in masks, that strong taste of iron in her mouth, the muffled voices and...

The rustling of her doors sliding open jolted her out from her thoughts and she sat upright.

"Jacob!" She heard herself exclaim a little more startled than she had wanted to sound.

"Miranda, caught you at a bad time?" He gave her an odd look.

"No, no. I was just caught up in work, you surprised me."

The solider smiled and sat down in front of her desk. "Didn't think you were the jumpy type, Miranda."

_Neither did I_. She thought quietly to herself. "How can help you, Jacob?"

He shrugged, leaning backwards. "Nothing, I just came to see how you're holding up."

"I'm fine. Really." She rolled her eyes at him before pushing back from her desk. Her chair rolled backwards and she let herself sink into the soft leather cushion watching the solider as he leant forward shifting a little awkwardly where he sat.

"So, you and the Captain?" She could tell he tried to sound casual. She hesitated. She shouldn't be talking about Rue, but this was Jacob. They had known each other for a long time and she knew she could trust him. At one time she had even confided in him. Not the way she would confide in Niket or Rue, but she could still talk to him.

"It's complicated."

"I didn't look that complicated," Jacob pushed.

"This isn't the right time for distractions..."

Jacob smiled shaking his head. "Always so practical, Miranda."

She smiled. "A little too practical?"

"Just some times." He agreed. "So, does she know?"

"Know what?"

"About Dr. T'Soni."

"No, part of the deal was that we wouldn't reveal who brought Shepard's body to us."

He wrung his hands slowly. "Are you not telling Shepard to honour the doctor's wishes or because you're scared Shepard would want to see her?"

"That's ridiculous, Jacob!" Miranda heard herself snap at the former Alliance soldier as she stood up defensively. "I promised Dr. T'Soni she would tell Shepard herself and Rue's had every chance to go see Doctor T'Soni if she had wanted to. "

"Look," Jacob said getting up from his chair. "I care about you, but you know their history."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Miranda, we even put the doctor's photo in the Commander's cabin, I just don't want to see you get hurt, you've been through enough lately."

"You think I'm just the temporary fix." She looked at him incredulously. "Ugh!" She slashed her hands through the air when he didn't reply. "You really think that low of Shepard? I might have been _your _temporary fix, Jacob, but _don't _put that on Rue."

"Miranda, I didn't..."

"I think you should leave now, Jacob." She cut him off coldly, glaring daggers at him. "I should be at the CIC now anyway."

"I'm sorry, I was only looking out for you," he said with a curt nod before leaving her standing.

The door slid shut and she sat down with a loud thud in her chair.

"Shit!" This wasn't like her, to react with such temper. One minute they had been talking and the next she felt as if she wanted to punch him and then all she wanted to do was cry.

"What the hell is wrong with you," Miranda muttered to herself before getting up. At least circling the Normandy she would do some good and keep herself from thinking too much.

~•~

The gym lay empty, the lights turned off when Rue pushed the door open.

"Just the way I like it," she mumbled in relief when she realized she was the only one there. During the days there were always some of the crewmen in there sparring and working out. Not that she didn't enjoy sparring with her crew, but tonight she just wanted some downtime as they travelled to their next destination. There were no more missions until they would arrive at Tuchanka. Last stop had been the Citadel to pick up the master thief Kasumi Goto, an interesting character with an impeccable talent to acquire things that no man would dream of trying to steal. Kasumi fascinated Rue. She would be by her side one minute then disappear and reappear on the other side of a room the next and she had a way of reading people. Rue had to admit that despite them being an extremely big group of ill-fitted individuals the Illusive Man's suggestions hadn't been terribly off chart. In fact –much to her dismay- skill-wise, he had picked people Rue herself would have picked for a mission like this.

"Remains to see if the rest will be just as good," she muttered under her breath. She wouldn't give him too much credit. Not yet. There was still something about his organization that wasn't right. A solution for now, nothing more.

She walked over to the large, black punching bag in the corner of the spacious room securing the last bit of her handwraps as she pulled to a stop in front of it. She gave it a hard punch and grimaced. Her shoulder still hurt from that bullet she'd taken a couple of weeks back. She snorted. Her whole body still ached from her surgery and the new implants. Chakwas had said it was to be expected, but that all her readings had shown a nice, but slow healing process.

Pulling her arms close, raising her fist she punched the bag again, this time using her whole body to add force to her swing. The bag shook violently, a sharp snap shot through the air as her fist connected with it. _Liara_. No matter where they were or how they both felt, she at least wished she had had the time to talk to the Asari to get some sense of closure. Exhaling sharply as she punched the bag again, sidestepping throwing another punch its way, ducking and dodging her invisible opponent. She grimaced. Sometimes when she was near the informer she almost felt like she was cheating on the Asari. _She left you_! She pummelled the bag with both fists throwing in kicks with her knees, working her whole body.

Liara had left and as hard as it had been to deal with it somehow she had and this thing with Miranda had snuck up on her without much of a warning. _I hated her for God's sake! _She grinned, swinging her foot at the bag. It connected with such force Rue thought it might burst for a few seconds. _She hated you_. She continued her routine, exhaling sharply whenever her fists or feet would connect with the punching bag. The thought of the exquisite informant made her smile. Miranda made her feel good. The informant had a sharp mind and was more than often the one with the smartest line when they would banter with each other. She was clever and a lot more caring than she let on to others. Miranda was beautiful when she laughed and Rue liked the way her hair would fall whenever she leaned close, studying something, exposing the silky skin on her neck. Her skin looked soft. It was soft. Miranda's nightly visits hadn't escaped Rue, even if Miranda did think she was asleep when she came sneaking into her cabin. She liked those nights when she would wake up from the faint sound of her doors sliding open, the soft sounds of Miranda's bare feet tiptoeing over to her bed before she slid under the covers, curling her arm around Rue's waist, falling fast asleep.

She gave the bag a hard kick before lowering her hands, breathing heavily. This thing with Miranda, she wanted it to work. If they pulled through this mission she would hold the informant to her word. They _would _pick things up where they left it after this.

~•~

"Miranda, come here," her father says pointing at something beyond the horizon. She blinks in confusion taking in her surroundings. A large balcony cut out in stone, a table, four chairs and an exquisite view of the ocean.

"Come here, daughter, I want to show you something," he says excitedly, holding out his hand for her to take.

"Father?" She asks bewildered. He never talked to her like this. Only yelled or reprimanded.

"Come now, child." His voice is soft, a smile breaking through his dark beard. When did he grow a beard? She grabs his hand slowly. It's calloused and coarse. He pulls her into his arms whispering softly.

"Thank you."

He smells like aftershave, a faint but distinctive smell and his shoulder is soft against her cheek. Closing her eyes she reveles in the moment.

"For what?"

"For this." His voice suddenly drained from love and care, now as cold and sharp as a razor.

There's a burning sensation in her stomach and she stumbles backwards, dumbfounded, staring at the blade wedged into her abdomen.

"Why?" She whispers as she slumps to the floor, warm blood pulsating through her fingers a horrible chemical stench filling her nostrils.

Miranda woke up with a jolt, a sharp intake of air cutting through her silent quarters. Her pulse racing, heart beating like a sledge hammer as she tried to tell dream from reality, willing her mind to wake up from the nightmare. Blinking in confusion she sat up slowly, clutching her stomach. It throbbed with a dull pain. A wave of nausea washed over her and she grimaced. The dream. She shivered. It had felt so real. She could still feel his presence, his ghost poisoning the air, the creaking noises resembling the hushed voices from her dreams. She hid her face in her hands. Sleep was no longer a comfort, no longer the one thing that gave her peace, but it was filled with these odd, frightful dreams. She drew a deep sigh, tossing her covers aside.

She slipped in like all the other nights, tiptoeing across the lifeless floor of the Normandy towards Rue's bed. Miranda smiled at the sight of the sleeping commander. Somehow whenever she stepped into Rue's cabin all her fears and tension would melt away like snow in the break of spring. Warm sheets rustled under her lithe weight as she placed her head on the pillow next to Rue. Smiling satisfied she closed her eyes when she felt the commander's hand gently grab her hip pulling her closer.

"Are we ever going to talk about this?" Rue asked softly, placing a kiss on her neck sending a pleasant shiver down her spine.

Miranda froze. Rue was awake? Had she been awake all the other nights as well?

"Miranda..." Rue pulled at her hip and she rolled over to face the commander.

"I can't sleep."

"So...you come here every night?"

Miranda felt her cheeks flush. "You've been awake all those times." It wasn't so much a question as it was a statement.

"I don't really sleep that much. Kind of an occupational hazard, to always be ready to go."

She let her fingers pull a strand of hair out of the commander's pinched face. She was beautiful like this. No makeup, no bulky helmet or heavy armour. Ruby-red hair mixing with the blue, faint light from the aquarium casting shadows across Rue's face. She looked peaceful, relaxed and not so focused on everything, almost as if in here she could forget that a lot of people counted on her to save them from an impending Reaper invasion. Where she lay Miranda wondered if many had seen Rue like this.

She felt a sting of jealousy as Jacob's words rang in her head.

"Why didn't you tell me you were awake?"

There was a moment of silence before the commander spoke.

"I didn't want it to stop." Sincere hazel eyes studied her.

"I can't remember anything from that day and my dreams are so real I sometimes don't know what's real or not." She felt foolish when she heard herself say it out loud. It sounded so weak, but Rue's face didn't change. She didn't look at her with pity or dismay.

"Did Dr. Chakwas run any tests to see if you'd been drugged?"

Miranda smiled. Even in the dead of night Rue's mind still worked like a commander's mind.

"No, I guess we should look into that."

"It might at least give you some answers."

"Mm," she replied thoughtfully.

"Are you alright, Miranda?"

She lowered her gaze looking away from Rue. "I don't know." Honesty. Pure, raw honesty. It wasn't something Miranda was used to. She protected the truth about herself as if it was a precious treasure. In all this, it was all she had that was truly hers, that no one could touch. "I don't know if I'm ok. I don't know what happened to me and it scares me..."

Rue pulled her close, her strong arms holding her firm. "We'll figure it. Together."

Miranda tilted her head upwards brushing her lips against Rue's, placing her hand on the commander's soft cheek. Rue kissed her back, gently, undemanding. She liked how Rue's lips felt against hers and the way Rue's kisses made her burn with desire. Letting her fingers intertwine themselves in Rue's unruly hair she pushed herself closer to the commander, craving her attention. She could feel the change in Rue as her kisses became more urgent, more passionate, her hands finding their way in underneath her laced top.

Trying to control the situation Miranda tugged at the commander's white tank top, the thin fabric of their night clothes the only thing separating them from each other. Rue slipped out of it easily, pulling Miranda's top off, pushing her back onto her back, trailing kisses down her neck. Miranda could feel the commander's hands travel up her thighs, scorching her skin with passion and she ached to be close to the commander, to feel Rue's skin against hers, to feel her near her, in her, with her. This need she felt, this addiction to the commander's touch was unlike anything else she'd ever felt. It was overwhelming, overpowering. Lips, hands, legs and arms melding into one Miranda felt her last hold of control slip from her grasp as she let passion overtake her, losing herself to the commander. Soft moans and deep sighs the only sounds cutting through the still night until they fell asleep, exhausted, arms and legs tangled up in two lovers' embrace.

~•~

Dossiers and papers flew across the room with a loud bang as the Asari's enraged scream filled the air. Liara stared at the screen watching the Cerberus officer's rhythmic moves on top of the commander, her lips slightly parted, face contorted in pleasure. How?! How could Rue do this to her? Liara slammed her clenched fist into her desk. She thought they were never going to part and when they did she had thought that Rue would find her way back to her. She thought that Rue would still love her, need her, want her. But there she was caught up and lost in the voluptuous Cerberus officer. It hurt. She sat down in her chair. In a way it hurt more than losing Rue to death. Then it had been something none of them could control, but this, Rue chose this. She chose the Cerberus informant over her and it _hurt_. She sighed heavily letting the hot tears stain her cheeks. Rue must really hate her. Why couldn't Rue understand that she hadn't been able to let her go? How could she? Rue was her everything, she had expected to spend the rest of her life with Rue. They had bonded. She never thought she'd lose her so soon and now that she was alive Liara had most certainly not expected to lose her like this. To another woman. _Not _to Miranda Lawson.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	16. He Who Is Without Blame

**AN:** So, just in time for Christmas I give you this. My beta iu-atticus has done a tremendous job with this piece.

I hope you all have a happy holiday and as soon as I finish typing the next chapter up it's back into iu-atticus' beta-grinder.

A small warning, there's a little stream in this chapter. Just a wee bit. if you don't want the stream, wait until chapter 17. :) Also in the game you can only pick one background "ordeal", but since I'm going crazy with this fic I'm letting Rue have two of them. ;)

Hope you enjoy this, if you do please leave me a review. If you don't, please feel free to leave a review as well.

Until next time!

~elmjuniper

* * *

.

.

_Despite all of that, I chose to give myself to her and once I did there was never any doubt that this woman would be the last one. After her, there would be no one else._

**HE WHO IS WITHOUT BLAME**

LIPS EXPLORING LIPS, FINGERS INTERTWINED, flesh and skin burning with desire and a longing to lose control. Breaths and sighs mixing with soft, whispers and touches full of promises proclaiming love and devotion in the dim light. Rue watched Miranda's face as she moved with slow, rhythmic motions, her body yielding to her touch, the emotions rolling in and out across her face, eyes shut, plump lips parted, head tilted backwards.

Rue placed kisses on the delectable skin below her collarbones before Miranda's hands cupped her face, kissing her hungrily losing herself in the moment, in Rue's kisses, in her presence and her touch. Miranda's breathing quickened as she moved slower, drinking in the warm feeling surrounding her before she slumped forward leaning her head on Rue's shoulder. Rue let her fingers run through the onyx, thick hair, kissing Miranda softly on her neck; her skin still moist from the heat radiating from their bodies.

Miranda slowly slid off Rue's lap curling her legs around Rue's, while drawing invisible illustrations on her neck with her nails. Rue closed her eyes relaxing underneath the informant's soft touch. _So much for putting things on hold. _She grinned; very pleased things had turned out this way. She heard Miranda exhale through her nose with an amused snort.

"And just why are you grinning like that?"

"I thought you said this wasn't the right time," she said opening her eyes.

"Don't you know I only set the rules, but never play by them?" Miranda kissed her sweetly.

"I'm starting to notice." Miranda was trying to change the subject and Rue was happy to oblige where she lay. She let the palm of her hand run along the length of Miranda's body, trailing across the ribcage. The informant shuddered beneath her touch. She slipped her hand across the delicate waist, following the curve of Miranda's hip, rediscovering her inviting areas once again.

"You know, we can't keep this up," she mumbled, closing her eyes.

"I think you'll find we can. That's one perk of being a woman," Rue grinned impishly. Miranda laughed.

"You're terrible, but I meant people will notice our absence if we don't get out of this bed soon."

Rue grimaced. The thought of getting out of this bed was less than appealing. She would rather stay where she was, drinking in the sight of Miranda in nothing but her own skin, not even bothering to cover up with the satin sheets. She trailed her fingertip across her taut stomach, drawing circles. Miranda lay back looking at her, blue eyes sparkling.

"You know I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, but..."

"You're never leaving this bed again, Miss Lawson!" Rue snarled, nuzzling the informant's neck causing her to cry out with laughter trying to fend Rue off.

Miranda wrapped her legs around her waist and she felt the informant roll them over, once again sitting on top of her, pinning her arms down above her head.

"My, my, the great Commander Shepard defeated by a mere mortal," she teased.

"Mere mortal? Didn't you say you're perfect? Have you been deceiving me all this time?"

Miranda placed a kiss on her lips. "I have."

"Uh huh…I'm not sure-" another kiss silenced her. "I'm ok with-" and another one.

~•~

Illium had lost its shine it seemed. Despite the sun dancing across the tall buildings reaching towards the vast sky, the asari walked with heavy steps towards the docking area. She was only 108, almost 109, but for someone so young, she felt old and tired.

The image still burned in her mind, the Cerberus officer tangled up with Rue, the two of them seemingly lost in each other's presence. She couldn't blame Miss Lawson though. She knew the feeling of losing oneself in Rue all too well. She wasn't sure what bothered her more, that Rue had left her for another woman or that she had left her for Miranda Lawson. The coldest, most cynical woman she had ever met. How could Rue fall for someone like that? A thought occurred to her and she looked up. Maybe she didn't love her? Maybe it was just physical? She screwed up her face. _I'm not sure that's any better_. Sure, there had been a time she hadn't seen the problem with sharing, but that was before they had bonded. Something like that could not be shared with someone else. What if Rue did love the Cerberus officer? She felt a stab of pain in her chest and she bit her bottom lip as to not let her emotions overwhelm her. How could Rue move on so quickly? Had she forgotten all about them? Had she completely forgotten about her?

Parts of her wanted to get on the next shuttle and hunt down the Normandy and kick down some doors, demanding Rue at least have the decency to look her in the face before tumbling around in the sheets with that…_slut_! Liara clenched her fists, grinding her teeth while she walked feeling her anger and hurt simmer to a boil. She had saved Rue and yes, she had been selfish, she had wanted her back, she had wanted Rue to be alive again for her own selfish reasons. Instead, Rue had jumped into bed with the first woman showing her the faintest amount of attention! _She died_. A small voice reminded her. Rue had died and she no longer had an obligation towards their agreement. She sighed. She knew this was neither Rue nor Miss Lawson's fault. It was just how things had unfolded. None of them could have done anything differently. She slowed her angry pace looking over at the thick afternoon traffic. Taking a deep breath she moved over to the side taking in the view. If only things could have turned out differently. She shook her head, she couldn't change it, perhaps in the future things would turn out differently, but for now she could only hope Rue would find her way back to her some day.

~•~

Rue stopped dead in her tracks motioning for the rest of the group to remain still. The ground trembled with a loud moan, shifting sand that had lain dormant for years. It sprayed all round them and she squinted her eyes shielding them from the small corns. The shaman they had spoken to before finding themselves dropped off at this remote plateau had said Grunt wasn't ill; he just needed to do the Rite of Passage. Wrex, the new leader of clan Urdnot, had laughed heartily as he saw her step into his makeshift camp. He had squeezed her hand hard, giving her shoulder a friendly nudge. _My friend! _He really had been happy to see her. Too bad he couldn't tag along on this little adventure though. Rue tapped the trigger on her pistol lightly. Wrex had done this Rite of Passage himself, they really could have used his help as they fought off two waves of –klixen and varren. She scanned her surroundings. The shaman had told them to expect anything and adapt. She _really _didn't like the sound of that, but they didn't have much of choice. Grunt had to pass this ordeal in order to survive so she would make sure he did.

The earth shook violently with an eerily familiar grating sound. She could see her squad struggling to remain on their feet. She swept her eyes across the sand dunes, surveying their surroundings; something was off.

"It's coming from the earth," she muttered, taking a step forward when the memory slammed into her like a brick wall. _Akuze!_

The enormous thresher maw burst through the surface, stones and darkened earth dropping to the ground like raindrops all around them. Rue felt her blood run cold as the horrifying memories from Akuze washed over her like a bucket of cold water–paralyzing her. The beast's scaly body surged past her up towards the sky, its tentacles looming ominously in front of them. The long snappers twitched and she could see the beast throw its head backwards, preparing to attack.

"Get to cover!" She shouted, throwing herself behind a fallen pillar.

The squad followed her command, ducking for shelter wherever they could find it in the old ruins. Its acid flew above her head landing with a loud, sizzling splash on the spot the squad had just fled. The ground burned and hissed from the acid slime. Turning her head she saw her crew preparing for an attack.

"WAIT! Wait for the second attack!" She roared. "Then aim for its mouth while I draw its fire, but save your attacks for its weak point! Anything else is just a waste of our effort!"

The platoon she had served under during the attack at Akuze had made the grave mistake of aiming all its fire at the monster's plate-like scaled body. The bullets had bounced off as if they had been no more than simple pebbles. When they had finally realized their fire did nothing but give away their position so the beast could take them out ten –if not fifteen- at a time only twenty of them had remained. Two thirds of them wiped out in a matter of minutes. The screams still echoed in Rue's head where she sat anticipating the next attack. She focused on her squad, drowning out the shrill screams of terror in her head.

"Don't stay in one spot, keep moving and group up in small numbers!" Their second mistake had been moving in two large groups, slowing their speed and making them an easier target. In hindsight, she should have known better, but they had all been fresh out of the academy. Young, idealistic, hopeful and dangerously naïve summarized the majority of recruits who died that day. Life in the field was in no way similar to life at the academy. They had trained for years, yet nothing could have prepared them for what they encountered on Akuze. There had only been two of them left when the thresher maw went down. Jaina Proudmoore and Rue herself. Jaina had died later that night from her injuries before the rescue team had arrived.

Giving her Phalanx a smack with the base of her palm she readied herself for the attack. She was _not _going to lose another team. She sped out from her cover firing her pistol to draw the thresher maw's attention. Zigzagging across the large plateau, Rue found herself quickly diving for cover, the sand and dirt grating loudly against her armour. The thresher's attack barely missed her. To her right, Rue could see Grunt break free from the group, charging towards a swarm of klixen. A loud creaking noise drew her attention away from the oncoming klixen. The thresher maw's body lurched backwards, scales and flesh creaking from the motion.

"Shit!" She leapt from her cover, skidding across the remnants of what used to be part of a wall. "Incoming!" She yelled, warning her companions before snatching the belt with grenades fastened to her chest, holding the necklace-like wire with the artillery firmly in hand as she sprinted in an arch.

She saw Jack and Miranda retreating, fighting off the fire-breathing klixen and snapping varren with Mordin and Garrus pushing at the left flank keeping them all from being overrun by the deadly creatures. Grunt held his own on the other flank away from the enormous thresher maw's reach. There was a lurching sound as it threw its massive head forward, slamming it into the ground. Rue was sent sprawling into the air, nearly falling over as she landed. Pushing her upper body away from the ground she managed to keep upright, only breaking her speed for the briefest of moments. The thresher was still regaining its senses after the collision and she used it to their advantage and began running straight towards it.

"Fuck!" The convict's voice cut through the air. The two biotics had been hurled sideways by the shockwave from the thresher's powerful blow. Jack was grabbing Miranda by the arm holding their enemies off with a large force field.

"Get up!" Jack shouted as the informant stood up on shaky legs, arms held out before adding her own biotics to Jack's. Rue frowned at the sight. Miranda's biotics seemed to come in irregular pulses, unlike Jack's that flowed with an even, soft rhythm. She gritted her teeth turning her attention back to the giant thresher. This would have to work. They wouldn't be able to hold off all the enemies with the maw assaulting them at the same time for much longer.

The maw was regaining its senses, its snapper-clad face shaking wildly. She could see it trying to move its long, scaly body.

"Oh, no you don't!" She increased her speed, leaning forward pushing her body against the air. "Pull at its head!" She yelled as she rounded one of the tall pillars on the plateau. Blue biotic flames snared its head holding it mid-air as she leapt from the rise in the ruins. The maw shook its head angrily, hissing and shrieking as it fought to free itself. Swinging her arm, aiming for the large mouth she released the grenades.

"Eat this, you son of a bitch!" She shouted, rage surging through her body. The monstrosity in front of her reminded her too much of the one from Akuze all those years ago and she could feel the hatred and fear course through her veins. She landed with an ungraceful roll, diving for cover as a loud bang ripped through the air, the thresher maw's head exploding, flesh and scales spraying across the ruins.

She closed her eyes momentarily to catch her breath where she sat huddled up, clutching her guns desperately. _One, two, three_. It was all she could afford before she stood up again, the Commander of the Normandy, the never tired, brave-faced and ruthless warrior. That's who she needed to be right now. Not Rue, whose memories still haunted her, whose body ached from cheating death and whose fear sometimes paralyzed her. Dodging and rolling, pushing through the enemies, punishing them with her weapons she forgot all about Rue, letting Commander Shepard take over.

Grunt slammed into the last varren before emptying his last clip into it. The screeching noises died out and the blood spattered battleground lay eerily quiet once again as the small group stood panting heavily, gust of sand washing over them. Rue rested her hands on her knees while staring around her. Grunt was taking deep breaths as he tried to keep from swaying, Mordin and Garrus limping over towards them closely followed by the biotics. The battle had been exhausting and she could tell they were all worn out. _But alive_. She grinned as she looked around seeing her battered team. They were all alive.

~•~

Part of her wanted to destroy the Cerberus officer. If Rue only knew the things that woman had done in her career would Rue really be tumbling around in the sheets with her? Then other parts of her knew it was better to give up. How could you compete with perfection anyway?

Liara sighed where she stood. She had to stop thinking about the two of them and focus on finding whoever had something to do with her abduction and then find Feron. She crossed her arms, pursing her lips where she stood staring at the asari sitting behind the desk at the docking bay.

"The shuttle you're inquiring about was docked for nearly twenty-four hours," the asari said, looking up from her screen.

"Does it say where it travelled to after Illium?"

"No...I'm afraid we don't register the next destination when ships and shuttles dock here."

_Damn it_. She had hit a dead end.

"Wait," the asari frowned. "The shuttle came back a few days later."

Liara looked up. "It wouldn't happen to be four days after the first time it visited?"

"Yes...yes," the asari looked at her in wonder. "How did you know?"

"Because, I think I was on it."

~•~

The hot water washed over her where she stood leaning against the wall in her large shower. The water landed with loud thuds that reverberated through her head and she closed her eyes, effectively shutting the outside world out. Tensed muscles and aching bones loosened up under the hot water's touch and she took deep breaths as she leant her forehead against the wall, pearls of water trailing down the bridge of her nose before leaping off its tip and crashing with graceful splashes to the floor.

Jaina. She could still remember the day she had first walked into the big mess hall of the academy, blue eyes, blonde hair, tall and fiercely charismatic. She had not been the only one who had followed Jaina with interested eyes that day, but she had been the only one who got to share her bed later on. It had been a stormy, but passionate relationship and Rue had loved Jaina infinitely. For five years they had shared a life, a home, a dream and a vision. She chuckled at the thought of it. They had been so young. It wasn't the first time someone she loved had been ripped away from her, but this time she had felt more responsible. She should have known better. She had graduated top of her class, fighting and battle strategy were her thing, and it was what she did best. She had tried to tell her commander they needed to change their tactics, but he hadn't listened, she was just a regular soldier after all. She had stepped back, she hadn't objected. She thought he knew what he was doing –he was her leader after all. It had cost all the soldiers their lives. It had cost Jaina hers as well. She should have fought harder for them, she should have disobeyed orders to try and ensure a better outcome. She groaned in dismay trying to shut out the memories from Akuze but the silence and stillness in her shower room wouldn't let her. The shrill screams and cries from her dying comrades echoed in her head, the sound of it increased by the water crashing down on her wet hair. She raised her hands to her ears trying to shut the sound out, when she felt two cold hands place themselves on her shoulder blades as Miranda stepped into the shower.

"Rue?" She relaxed into the informant's arms as Miranda placed her cheek against her shoulder, arms holding her tightly underneath the falling water. "I know today was hard on you," Miranda murmured softly.

"Back on Akuze, I'd never been so scared and alone since I lost my family and reliving that today..." Her voice trailed off. She should be stronger, invincible. She was the commander for crying out loud. They had no fear. "It's like it's sucking me back in..."

"Hey," Miranda's voice was firm as she let go, turning her around so they were face-to-face. "Don't go there, just stay with me, right here and now," the informant whispered quietly before bringing Rue's lips towards her own. "We'll be fine, Rue," Miranda mumbled in-between kisses, reassuring her that the memories couldn't hurt her anymore. Feeling Miranda close to her, the informant's generous chest pressed tightly against her, her lips tasting Rue's, she let the memories wash off her, trickling down her torso and legs, disappearing into the drain with the rest of the water as she let her hands run down Miranda's back before gently grabbing her sensual curves and pulling her closer.

"You know...there are always ways to take my mind off of things," she murmured huskily. Miranda gasped and laughed, wrapping her arms around Rue's neck, pushing her up against the wall.

"You're in luck, Commander. I happen to be very good at _things_," Miranda purred seductively, trailing kisses along the top of her shoulder.

Rue chuckled. "Mmm-hmm...should I just take your word for it?"

"No," Miranda kissed her passionately. "You should make sure I'm not lying."

"Uh huh," she muttered before letting desire take over, kissing the informant feverishly, slamming her up against the shower wall as they once again lost themselves in their ecstasy.

~•~

_Hannoway LTD_. Liara frowned. The name of the company that was registered to the shuttle was unknown to her. It had never come across her path before. It appeared to be a regular mining company. She let the hand holding the dossier fall to the side as she pinched the bridge of her nose. She had been certain the shuttle was the one she had been on, but this was nothing but a standard shuttle. From what it seemed, they had visited the famous Dr. Banner Grenway. Apparently, he was very popular with humans who had problems conceiving a child of their own. She tossed the dossier on to the stylish sofa. She was grasping at straws and she knew it. She needed something more solid, but where was she supposed to start? She glanced over at the black coffee machine. Maybe if she stuck to her searching for the Shadow Broker she would find something giving her a clue to solve her mysterious disappearance.

She walked over to her fridge peering into it. It was as empty as it always was. Usually she didn't think about eating, but today she felt an odd craving for food. Perhaps some of Eternity's food would do the trick.

"Hmm..." A thought occurred to her where she stood craving food. Something about the shuttle seemed off. Maybe she could swing by the doctor's practice and ask about the clients. It was a long shot, but even the slightest clue would give her _something _to work with. And take her mind off of Rue. It was as sound a plan as it could get and for now it would have to do.

~•~

_Patient shows no sign of remembering any of the events from the abduction on earth, indicating possible retrograde amnesia. Patient shows clear signs of post traumatic stress disorder and seems to be distancing herself more than usual. Too little sleep, engrossing herself in work and may be intimate with another crew member are just several signs of a deeper problem. Patient shows little to no desire to attend our weekly session and is manipulating her answers thinking they will appeal to me as her therapist. Patient is, however, not experiencing any disruption to her duties and seems to take refuge in them._

_In yesterday's session we discussed the possibility of her choosing not to remember, but she implied that she wouldn't choose not to acknowledge something like being abducted. I find it hard to believe she is blocking the memories purposely. The patient did however seem conflicted about something during the discussion, but never revealed what was possibly causing the distress. I will try to dig in to that in our next session._

_In my professional opinion, I think it's of great importance for the patient to remember what happened to her. This should facilitate the healing process and help the individual move on and deal with the emotional impact that this is clearly having on her day-to-day life._

_Signed: Kelly Chambers_

Larkin Hannoway skimmed through the report smiling to himself where he sat in his luxurious living room. Jack had made good on his word to keep him updated on Miranda's status. This way he would be able to make sure his creation neither remembered the events nor terminated their project. He twisted the golden ring on his finger. Things were playing out just the way he planned it. Of course it would, he was a genius after all and he had created Miranda so he knew what she would do. No matter what, he would always be a step ahead of her. This was just another example of how he would never stop watching her. Miranda thought he was dead, just the way he wanted it. It would give her a false sense of security and she would stop looking over her shoulder. She would let her guard down.

_An intimate relationship with another crew member._

He chewed on his cigar. That situation could pose a problem. Very much like the Commander had. They were lucky she didn't suspect their scheme. He had hoped that they had managed to get her out of the picture, but it seemed this Rue Shepard was unusually lucky and had survived both the bullet and what should have been a fall to her death. He thought back to Miranda's reaction to the Commander's death. Could it be...? No, his creation couldn't feel love. She was made to be better than that, colder than that. She was engineered to do anything to succeed and lead his empire. Then again, she wasn't perfect and that's why he was making a new, better, flawless upgrade of her and no one, not even Commander Shepard would get in his way. He snapped the cigar in half, both the Commander and his failed project had signed their death warrants. It was only a matter of time. He clasped his hands together, staring in to the dancing fire in the old, Victorian fireplace. If it was one thing he had more of than he had money, it was time. He would wait them out and when the opportunity presented itself...he would kill them both.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	17. The Greater Good

**AN: **Yay! Another chapter is out! Sorry it took so long I got totally swamped with work and then a huge project in school.

Anyway, before I let you run off to read the chapter I have to really point out that my beta iu-atticus is just awesome with editing my chapters. These edits are like the cherry on top of something yummy of your choice. So even if we are taking time editing and then me tweaking it, you're all better off. :) A fun detail about this chapter is that Kasumi's question in this chapter is actually taken straight from the game. I felt I had to get that in to the story because it was something that made me just LOL when I heard it.

Also I only just noticed that FF has added this cool cover feature. Naturally I had to create one. Go check it out and let me know what you think. :)

Thanks to those of you who review, it helps the writing process and it is nice to hear from you readers. To those of you who's read, favourited and subscribed, big thanks! I hope you like the new chapter.

~Elmjuniper

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* * *

_How can one possibly compare someone else to Rue? You can't. I never tried even if that is what she thought I did. Perhaps I should have told her that I didn't. Perhaps I should return to her side, but I can't bear to be near her. _

**THE GREATER GOOD**

"SHEPARD, WHY ARE YOU STILL with these people?"

Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, the newest addition to their squad, turned her head towards her and Miranda could see the outline of two eyes observing her. She had no doubt the quarian was frowning behind the shelter of the shaded visor of her helmet. She could see Rue throw a quick glance at her over her shoulder as she shrugged indifferently.

"I was surprised to see you alive, Shepard. Glad, but surprised, yet it doesn't explain why are you with _them_?" The quarian had displayed the same hostility towards Miranda and Jacob when they had run into her and her team at Freedom's Progress, especially when Miranda had tried to defend Cerberus' recent attack on the flotilla. The flotilla had attacked first, there was no dispute about that, but maybe, just _maybe_ Cerberus had provoked it. Miranda huffed inwardly. She wasn't saying the quarian was right; she was simply weighing the options. In any event, did the quarian realize the risk they had taken to get to her on this godforsaken planet?

Haestrom, the planet where the sun burnt everything that it touched to shreds. She had barely been in the sun for five seconds before her shields had burned out, the exposed skin on her neck turning red at the stinging heat of the sun. If that wasn't enough, they'd had to battle a ridiculous amount of Geth just to get to the front door.

Rue placed a hand on the quarian's shoulder. "Don't worry, Tali. This is just a temporary solution."

Miranda felt herself scowl. _Temporary solution? _They weren't even an alliance in Rue's eyes, just a simple solution for now. It wasn't that she couldn't see things from Rue's point of view, but maybe she wished Rue could see the good things Cerberus had accomplished. She averted her eyes from the scene on display before her. Lately she had questioned Mr Harper's methods. She was loyal, but she wasn't stupid. Of course she had questioned the Illusive Man, but every time she had, it had turned out he was right all along. Sometimes sacrifices had to be made for the greater good.

Rue of all people should know this. She glanced back at Rue, remembering the night after they had battled the thresher maw at Tuchanka. It was the first time she had seen the effects the events on Akuze had had on the woman. Rue had survived it, done whatever it took, just like on Virmire where she had been forced to sacrifice Ashley. Only, the decisions, the victories, they haunted the commander. A shudder ran through Miranda as she remembered the intensity of Rue's kisses and touches that night, almost as if the commander wanted to make sure Miranda wasn't the fabrication of her own imagination; that she was real and that somehow through her Rue could achieve some sort of redemption for all the sacrifices she had made in the past.

Miranda blinked. Could she say she felt the same remorse over the things Cerberus had done in order to achieve their goals? No, she couldn't. All they had accomplished so far had led to important changes for humanity. If no one was willing to look out for mankind, then who would? It wasn't unreasonable to want to look after earth and her population's interest in this big and at times overwhelming galaxy. Humans were the youngest race in this new world and if they weren't careful, some other races might take advantage of their inexperience. Cerberus only made sure that this did not happen. While the Alliance were too busy politicking with the council, bargaining for the humans' rightful place in the galaxy, Cerberus made sure mankind was protected. She smiled to herself.

That was the difference between the Illusive Man and the Commander. Rue didn't use the alien races to fight the Collectors. She worked _with_ them. Fought _alongside_ them. _Except for us. _Miranda's scowl deepened. Rue wasn't a liability to Cerberus as Miranda had first thought. Rue would do what was needed to bring down the Collectors, but Miranda had no doubt the commander would walk away the minute she didn't need them anymore. She felt a pang in her chest. Did that include her as well? Was she a part of Rue's temporary solution, too?

~•~

Banner Grenway flicked the pen between his fingers while lost deep in thought. All his hard work, all the research, every single note he had ever taken, just vanished. Every single dossier and file vaporized into nothing but ashes and soot. Larkin had been firm with the rule that no data left the facility and now the facility had been blown up to pieces. The only thing Banner had left from all his years working for Larkin was the last couple of weeks' notes. Banner shook his head. All that data was going to change the world and make it better for everyone. He was supposed to use it to help people. And Larkin, that self-absorbed, egoistical, manipulative bastard didn't even care. The man could not care less had his own daughters been in there. All he cared about was his empire and sick desire to live forever, to have the perfect prodigy as his daughter, his legacy. Banner doubted Larkin even knew how to love. At least anything that wasn't himself. The man had no empathy for anyone or anything.

He should just quit, tell Larkin he was out, that this was not part of their deal. Larkin would have to find someone else. Banner had always told himself that all the bad things he did were for the greater good, but what good excuse was that when it was all a lie? All his so-called good intentions had been shot down and now all he had was a guilty conscience. He couldn't keep doing this, this was wrong, it had always been wrong. All this lying to his family, his staff, to Miranda and her sisters was all starting to become too much. Banner rubbed his forehead with his hands. He couldn't do it anymore. Before he had a reason, a valid excuse to break every rule he had learnt at the university and from his mentor, the great Dr. Sandrea Hopkins, who had told him that if he stayed with his vision the future would no doubt be a better place. He grimaced. He could imagine her turning over in her grave at what he had done. But it had all been for that better future she had encouraged him about.

No. It had all been for _nothing_.

~•~

The small frame weighed more than she thought it would. By the looks of it, it was one of those typical clean, stylistic frames one could find on the Citadel nowadays. Simple, that's what she had recommended the crew when they put together Rue's room.

The asari looked up from the framed photo with a conspicuous smile, seemingly staring somewhere just behind Miranda where she stood in Rue's quarters. She was beautiful, even more so in reality. There was something unearthly about her, besides the fact that she was of an alien race. It was the way she spoke with the serious solemnity that people sometimes found awkward about the young asari. Miranda, however, found her fascinating with all the knowledge she possessed about the protheans. The doctor always said it was very little when one thought of the fact that the protheans had once ruled this galaxy, but Miranda doubted there would be much more if Dr. T'Soni hadn't been so passionate about them. The doctor also had biotic powers that no doubt outmatched both hers and Jack's together.

Miranda studied the portrait. When they had fist contacted Dr T'Soni she had seemed so desperate to find Rue's body. Miranda glanced over at the still sleeping commander. It was only now she understood why. There had also been this darkness accompanied with the determination to acquire Rue's body. The kind that would drive any man to walk over corpses to get what he wanted. Miranda looked back at the photo. The doctor had done just that. She had left a trail of corpses of the Shadow Broker's minions. She lowered her gaze, but Cerberus hadn't just wanted to help the asari, they had also used Liara. Dr T'Soni had never trusted them and when Miranda had told her about their intent she almost begged them to let Rue stay dead. What Cerberus had done wasn't what the asari had had in mind when she ventured out fighting her way through enemies to get to Rue.

Miranda had seen it in Liara's eyes, the raw desperation and hope to find a way to bring her loved one back. She felt a stab of guilt. Had she taken that hope away from Liara now? Or would Rue, if faced with the choice between them, choose the asari? She had felt the connection between them when Liara had shared the memories of their bonding. She had never felt anything like it, it was like the room was full of particles ready to explode, and it was everywhere and nowhere, warm, intense and divulging. She swallowed thickly. How could she ever compete with that? She was just a human. No matter what she did she would never be able to compare to the doctor.

"I didn't know you had a fascination with asaris." Rue's voice said behind her back. Miranda masked her insecurity turning around with a smile.

"She is beautiful." Her voice sounded odd, almost shaky and she silently prayed Rue wouldn't pick up on it. She could see Rue tilt her head, squinting her eyes in suspicion before she walked up towards her.

"She is, but-"

"Rue, why haven't you been to see her?" The minute she asked the question she regretted it. She didn't want to know the answer. She didn't want to hear Rue say that she was just the temporary fix, a temporary solution. The woman in front of her had knocked her off her feet, turned her world upside down and she had fallen so completely head over heels for her. But what if Jacob was right? What if Rue would have chosen to go and rekindle her relationship with Liara if she had told her it was the asari who brought her body back? Had she tricked Rue into this? _You mustn't tell her it was me. Please, if you give me anything, just give me that. _She had made a promise and despite what people thought of her, she didn't break those easily and Liara deserved to have that promise honoured. Miranda held her breath, trying to look at Rue without her eyes flickering insecurely feeling suddenly naked where she stood in her small night clothes clutching the frame as if it was the only safe thing left in the world. She saw something in the commander's eyes, a sad smile. _Please don't tell me, please. _Rue stepped closer grabbing the frame gently from her hands.

"Well...firstly she hasn't been around when we've been to Illium." She set the frame down on the desk. "Secondly, she's moved on." The commander's strong hand placed itself on her cheek forcing Miranda to look her in the eyes. "And last, but most importantly, so have I." Emerald green eyes reassured her and she released a sigh lowering her gaze. "Hey, look at me. Whatever happened between me and Liara is in the past, she will _always_ remain a good friend, but I love _you_ and a photo isn't going to change that, ok?"

How could Rue read her so well? Was it really that obvious? "I'm sorry, I..."

"And quit apologising." Soft lips caressed hers and she wrapped her arms around the commander returning the kisses, feeling herself lifted slightly before Rue put her down gently on top of the solid desk. She chuckled throatily as she felt the commander press herself against her, her hands peeling off the black laced boxers she was wearing.

"You're hamster is staring at me," she whispered huskily in-between kisses.

"What do you think EDI is doing?" Rue chuckled. Miranda gasped trying to protest, but was silenced by Rue's passionate kisses.

~•~

Banner froze when he turned around, staring into the asari's gentle blue eyes.

"Dr. Grenway?" She inquired politely. "Is... this a bad time?" She asked slowly when he still hadn't responded.

"No, no! Please, do sit. How may I help you miss...?" He quickly said, motioning for the chair opposite his glass desk. She sat down gracefully, placing her hands in her lap.

"T'Soni. Dr. Liara T'Soni."

"Well, Dr. T'Soni. How can I be of service?" He tried not to sound as if he was shaken by her presence. Why was she here? Did she remember anything from the procedure?

"I've heard from various sources that you are exceptionally skilled at your work. You have experience in a vast number of subjects." She spoke softly, thinking that under different circumstances she would rather enjoy sitting down to discuss the intricacies of the asari species and other aspects of life, unknowingly reflecting Banner's thoughts as well. He put his pen down, leaning into his chair, trying to exude confidence.

"Ah, yes, you could say I'm experienced. But, I'm sure it pales in comparison to the years you've held your title," he said lightly. He was rewarded with a smile from the woman sitting in front of him.

"I've experienced memory loss," she said slowly. Banner tried not to flinch and prayed silently to God she didn't notice.

"Have you experienced any kind of trauma lately? Such as physically or metntally?" He asked, easily falling back on his professional demeanor to try and cover the nervousness he was feeling.

"I'm sure that I've lost four days, Dr. Grenway. I was taken for four days and I don't remember who did it or why." Something had changed in her voice. It suddenly sounded cold and harsh, bordering on the line of sounding like Larkin when he spoke. He stroked his chin in thought, realizing he'd forgotten to shave, the stubble scratched against his fingertips. What else could he blame the memory loss on? All he needed was something plausible that could explain short-term memory loss and hide his deception. But, there was no telling if there was a need to panic unless she knew something.

"If you don't mind me asking, Dr. T'Soni, are you certain you were taken or could it be possible you just hurt your head? Blunt force to the head can cause such memory loss and it could also explain a brief loss in consciousness."

"But surely I wouldn't have been unconscious for four days?"

"Not four days necessarily, but one can often dream very vivid scenarios when one is passed out. It is not uncommon for patients to describe similar experiences," he said. She seemed to consider this and nodded.

"Perhaps you're right, Doctor. Maybe I should make sure to go get a proper examination at Ledartha Hopsital. Thank you for your advice," she said, standing up.

He felt himself breathe a sigh of relief before realizing that if she went to the hospital and had them take blood samples they could trace the sedatives. A good doctor would be able to tell someone had interfered with her DNA-sampling. He stood up quickly, the chair crashing into the file cabinets behind him from the force.

"Um, if you don't mind me saying so, but Ladartha Hospital isn't known for its expertise the way I am. I could fit you in to my schedule, perhaps in a day or two? You seem to be doing alright for now and I think if there is something wrong you would regret not going to me."

The asari smiled at this. "Why thank you Dr. Grenway, that is very kind of you. I will expect to hear from you. Soon." And with that she turned around and left his office.

He waited until he was sure she wasn't lingering before he sat down in his chair, sighing deeply and shaking his head. She mustn't find out the truth. It would implicate him and it could cost him everything. This clinic was all that he had left and he wasn't going to lose that as well. This was his only chance at redemption. He would simply fake the examination and send her off with an explanation other than the truth. Then he would tell Larkin he was done and all his troubles would be over.

Just one more lie.

~•~

Miranda wiped her mouth where she sat on her knees, leaning on to one hand next to the toilet in the small bathroom. Her body trembled and for a slight second she felt like she might pass out, but she forced herself to breathe calmly and focus until she regained her senses. This was the second time that this had happened in such a short timeframe. One minute she was fine and the next she was overcome by nausea, her knees so weak they collapsed underneath her weight. The first time the same thing had happened during the thresher maw attack and then her biotics hadn't worked like they should. It had done the same thing as up on that roof when Rue had been shot by her father. Only this time the nausea had brought her to her knees until the convict had forced her back up again.

She let her head hang, waiting for the nausea to pass. The more she resisted it the stronger the feeling became until she succumbed, heaving loudly and ungracefully, her chest and abdomen aching from the straining. She spat into the steel toilet, breathing heavily.

"Miranda!" She could barely hear Rue's worried voice cut through the air, but felt the Commander kneel by her side. "What's the matter?"

She felt another wave of nausea and tried to push the Commander away, but merely managed to wave her hand in the air before she lunged herself at the toilet. Her ribs and chest ached and she fought to breathe in-between the convulsions. She could feel pearls of sweat breaking out on her forehead and for a second she wished she would just die. Rue didn't move but gently pulled her hair aside, letting Miranda lean into her for support. Feeling the horrible sickness finally pass she slumped to the floor exhausted.

"Okay, time to have Dr. Chakwas take a look at you," Rue said before grabbing a hold of her, wrapping an arm around her waist while grabbing Miranda's wrist to help her stand up.

"No, please just take me to my room," she whispered weakly. "It was just the food," she lied. "I forgot I'm allergic to...whatever was in the food."

"Nice try, Miss Lawson, but you know I have to take you to the infirmary. If not for procedure, but because I worry about you."

Miranda smiled despite the horrible taste in her mouth. She could hear hushed voices as the Commander dragged her over to Dr. Chakwas's infirmary, the lamps on the floor nothing but gigantic streaks of blur.

"Put her over there," she heard the doctor's calm voice instruct Rue and before she could argue she felt the Commander scoop her up before laying her down on the stiff hospital bed. Rue gave her a quick nod before leaving. She closed her eyes until she heard the rustling of Dr. Chakwas sitting down next to her.

"Okay, Lawson. You want to tell me what's going on?" The doctor said, holding out a glass of water for her.

She sat up slowly, accepting the glass. Chakwas pointed at the bucket standing next to the bed.

"You can spit it out in there. Vomit flavoured water was never a favourite of mine," she said trying to lighten the atmosphere. Miranda smiled gratefully before letting the water wash out the disgusting taste in her mouth.

"I don't know what happened," she answered truthfully.

Chakwas spun on her chair grabbing a new glass of water for her. "Drink this, you'll need to replace the fluids you've lost. Now, Miranda, you know I'm bound by law to follow the doctor-patient confidentiality act. Anything you say in here _stays _in here. A little like Las Vegas."

Miranda chuckled. "You know nothing really did stay there, right?"

"No? I never did have the chance to go there, but I've heard the saying. Either way, I must ask you some questions and you _must _tell me the truth if I'm going to be able to help you." The doctor paused, studying her for a moment before she continued. "How often have been feeling sick lately?"

"A few times a day."

"Can you recall at what times?" Chakwas asked as she scribbled in the notepad that had been stuffed in her chest pocket.

"I suppose mornings and now, at lunch time and evenings."

"And how long have you felt like this? Have you been sick each of those times?"

"A week or two. No, I can usually ignore it."

Chakwas nodded, humming to herself before putting down the pad and pen in her lap. "Is there any chance you could be pregnant?" The doctor asked her, studying her face.

Miranda smiled, letting out a bitter snort. Could she be pregnant? She was 34 going on 35 soon and it was a long time ago since she had even considered a child. She still remembered the day she had brought it up with her doctor. Unlike other women, she could not conceive a child, all thanks to her father and the genetic makeup of her existence. She had been younger then and had figured she didn't want children anyway, but as the story goes sometimes you meet someone that changes your whole perspective. Miranda still didn't know what had possessed her to do it, but she had asked Dr. Grenway again, if he was certain she really was infertile or if maybe there was a way she and Rue could, sometime in future, have a child. The answer had been more heartbreaking this time. Once again she told herself the notion of her and Shepard having any sort of future together like _that _was a silly school girl's dream.

"No," she said trying not to sound bitter.

"You are _sure_."

"I am..." she paused looking away, "infertile."

The doctor put a hand on her knee. "I understand it's something you don't talk about, seeing as I saw nothing about it in your dossier, but I appreciate you telling me. It helps me know where to start."

Miranda respected Karin Chakwas. She was a little like Grunt in how she treated Miranda like everyone else. It was admirable how the doctor worked so efficiently and how she could, without pitying her, still show Miranda empathy and understanding. Chakwas held out a needle and Miranda sighed. She hated needles.

"I'm going to start by taking some blood samples. Anything out of the ordinary will show up and we'll pretty much know if it's something we need to treat or not."

"Whatever you need to do, Doctor."

~•~

"I like Liara better." The quarian flicked the cap from Rue's bottle across the bar in the lounge area of the ship before she spoke again. "I like her because she doesn't look at you as if your Helmet would make a nice ornament hanging on her wall."

Rue laughed at the thought of Tali's helmet hanging on the wall next to the desk in Miranda's office. "I must say that wouldn't be completely tasteless." The joke earned her a slap from the quarian who muttered something about bosh'tets and thousands of viruses infecting Shepard's immune system.

"She really isn't that bad, Tali."

"Shepard, she is as cold as the plating on this ship. What does she have that Liara doesn't?" Tali insisted.

"Well, for starters, she has the decency to be around and-"

"And just how genetically engineered is she?" Kasumi said appearing from thin air.

"What?!" Rue spluttered turning on the barstool she was sitting on. "I can't believe you just asked that."

The master thief laughed as she took her seat next to Tali who was crossing her arms in disapproval.

"Genetically engineered?"

"_You _need to get out of that digital black box of yours more often." Rue shot Kasumi a dirty look.

"So, basically she's like a Geth!" Rue was sure that if she could see past Tali's visor she'd meet angry eyes full of disapproval.

"Only she's not trying to kill every human she sees."

"No, just her creator," Tali muttered. "Where have I heard _that _before?"

"Wait, how did you know about that?"

"You know Joker, he can never keep a secret." The quarian said, a playful edge to her tone.

"That is true. He ratted me out to Admiral Waltsen for busting the lock to the armoury back at the academy," Rue said.

"Why would you-" Tali started before she caught the mischievous grin on Rue's face, "on second thought, I don't think I _want _to know what you were going to do in there."

"Not what, _who_," Kasumi said matter-of-factly.

"Okay... I think this chat is officially over. I have to oil the engines anyway," Tali said throwing her hands up in frustration at where the conversation was going. Both Rue and the master thief cracked up at the quarian's rather innocent mistake.

"What?" She asked perturbed.

"Oiling your engines!" Rue laughed.

"_What_?!"

Rue slid off her stool placing her hand on the puzzled quarian's shoulder. "It's good to have you back, Tali."

~•~

"What did you say?" Larkin stood up behind his desk, his cold eyes staring into the Galaxy Net's communicator.

"I quit," Banner said from behind his own desk. This time stronger, more determined.

"You _quit_?" Larkin repeated. He looked angry. No, that wasn't the right word. He looked furious. Then his face broke up as a loud laugh erupted from his mouth. Banner glanced sideways feeling awkward where he sat. He was missing something.

"Ah..." Larkin took a deep breath as he calmed himself down. "You are free to go, Banner." He sat down in his chair, pulling out one of his fat cigars.

Banner was stunned, but felt all the tension in his body finally giving way as relief washed over him. He was free to go!

"But know that if you do, I will _kill _Miranda, but what's more important, I will kill your wife and your children."

Banner felt the terror coarse through his body, like ice freezing his blood. He felt the colour wash from his face. The man was crazy! Larkin was absolutely mad and Banner knew he followed through on his threats. He had all the resources in the world to wipe his whole family out. _What have I done?!_

"So, Dr. Grenway, about that resignation of yours. Should I still consider it?"

There was no fighting this. He couldn't escape this deal he had made. He had sold his soul to the devil and the devil was claiming his price. "No, sir."

TO BE CONTINUED...


	18. Revelations

**AN: **Hey, everyone! Thanks for reading, subscribing, faving and reviewing. Sorry this update took a while. I went on a vacation and sometimes it's difficult for me to time my chapters with my betareader's RL. Having that said, I do believe it's worth the wait. My beta reader is awesome, the chapters would not get the finishing touches they need if it wasn't for my beta iu-atticus.

Ok, so there's fluff in this chapter. For a good reason. I promise. Also this chapter (and previous chapters) has loads of nerd references in it. If you can find them point them out! :)

Enjoy!

~Elmjuniper

* * *

_It hurts too much. It hurts being near her knowing those quick glances and longing touches are no longer meant for me. _

**REVELATIONS **

DOCTOR BANNER GRENWAY WAS LYING. The asari scowled as she studied the results on her datapad. There was no doubt the man had lied to her, but why? What did a medical director at a respected clinic have to do with her disappearance? She shook her head. Should she really be surprised? The Shadow Broker had people that worked for him in all kinds of different places, politicians, mercenaries, crime bosses, simple laymen and everything in-between. She had pondered the possibilities and the only conclusion she could come to was that her sudden disappearance had something to do with the Shadow Broker. It meant she was getting closer to him-to finding Feron.

She powered up her screen and it flickered to life. Her hands moved quickly across the polished surface, swiping past the different channels as she brought up the doctor's channel on the display. When Dr. Grenway had been too busy faking her results she had planted a small microchip underneath his screen, tracking every piece of information Dr. Grenway accessed on it. Looking at the screen she could see that it was _a lot_ of information that came through there every day. She leant backwards rubbing her face when she heard a soft knocking on her door.

"Yes?"

Nyxeris stepped in carefully, as always. Her assistant was always so timid and quiet that Liara sometimes thought she was sacred of getting a scolding if she did something wrong. Despite her timid personality Liara found that the younger asari was good at her job and Nyxeris had been a reliable source of help in her search of the elusive Shadow Broker. Liara had no doubt she wouldn't have gotten half as far in her hunt for the information broker if it hadn't been for Nyxeris. The assistant seemed to pull every single file and clue on the Shadow Broker she could find, forwarding them to Liara.

"Have you found out anything more about the Shadow Broker?" Nyxeris requested politely.

"No… No, unfortunately I haven't," she sighed. "I think my disappearance has something to do with the Shadow Broker, but the leads we keep finding are misleading and always turn out to be a dead end. I need a new approach to this."

"Oh?" Nyxeris said sounding surprised.

"I need to meet with someone who can help me further," she said thoughtfully.

"Who?"

"Someone the Shadow Broker hasn't gotten his claws into."

~•~

"Can I talk to you, Commander?"

Rue looked up from where she stood overlooking the schematics of the new upgrades the Normandy had received. She pinched the screen, causing it to zoom out and show the far end of the hull in its entirety.

"Lindeberg, in addition to the other upgrades we're doing, can you check with XO Lawson if anything can be done with those shields to improve them? And tell her to ask Joker what he thinks of the Normandy's status. Does she need any more upgrades or perhaps a quick look over for maintenance? Don't' forget to check with our engineers as well."

"Yes, Commander."

She gave him a final nod before returning her attention to the yeoman. "Chambers, what's going on?"

"Well, I just wanted to remind you we still haven't finished that last model you bought me," the yeoman said smiling slyly. Rue returned her smile, scratching the nape of her neck. This could get… Interesting. "Secondly have you spoken to Tali this afternoon?"

"No, she's been busy below deck with Daniels and Donnelly all day."

Concern crossed the yeoman's youthful face. "She got a message earlier today and she's seemed, well, distracted ever since."

"Really? Do you know what the message said?"

"No, I don't read other people's mail. That's Miss Lawson's job."

_Oh snap! _Could she detect a tinge of bitterness to the yeoman's tone? "I'll go talk to Tali about it then," Rue said, ignoring Kelly's comment.

"Oh, and Commander?"

"Yes, Chambers?"

"If you happen to see Miss Lawson can you remind her of our appointments? She missed the last two."

"Hm?" Miranda and Chambers had planned meetings that she obviously had missed on purpose?

"Our meetings, the ones she keeps missing out on because of the work load she's had lately."

"Oh, yeah… I wasn't aware of XO Lawson's meetings with you, but I'll make sure she gets back to you in regards to them." Rue nodded politely. _You've got some explaining to do. _

"Chambers," she said as the yeoman turned to walk away. "The rest of the crew, is there anything I should know about them?"

"Well, Commander, in my honest opinion perhaps a few hours of shore leave next time we dock would do them some good. Everyone is working hard, but your closest crew especially have been working really hard without a real break to catch their breath this last month. I think it would benefit the mission in the long run if they got at least one day of downtime." Kelly paused before continuing. "I think it might do XO Lawson some good too." _If I can pry her off of this ship that is_. Rue thought quietly to herself.

Rue considered this. She had worked both the team and herself extremely hard over the past month, zipping from one planet to another finishing mission after mission. Kelly was right. She couldn't afford mistakes because her crew wasn't well rested that inevitably could have been avoided. She needed them to be on top of their game.

"Thank you, Chambers. That is good advice," she said. "I should go and check on Tali."

~•~

"Hey, stranger," Rue said causally as she strolled in to the engine bay.

"Shepard!" Tali said with a smile in her voice, her eyes lighting up behind her shaded visor.

"How are you settling in?"

"Oh, you know, good."

Rue crossed her arms. "Chambers is a snitch. She told me you've been acting weird and I'm here to find out why."

"What?" Tali spluttered. "Why would she tell you that?"

"Tali…" Rue scowled giving the quarian the best grave, motherly look she could muster.

"I-" the quarian started.

"Don't make me break your legs." Rue said sternly though her eyes sparkled playfully.

"I didn't want to bring my troubles to you, Shepard."

"Tali, we're friends. You helped me bring down Saren. How's that for bringing trouble to you?" Rue said quirking an eyebrow. "You know you can always talk to me," she continued, her voice softening.

"The flotilla sent me a message questioning me about some data I've sent to the flotilla for research."

"What kind of data?"

"Geth data stored in different geth parts."

"You sent working geth parts to a researcher on the flotilla?"

"I only sent deactivated geth samples that I knew were harmless."

"Who did you send it to?"

She could see Tali avert her eyes. "My father."

"Then you could just explain that."

"Shepard, I'm being accused of treason… The flotilla demands I report in for questioning or I'll be charged in my absence."

"Tali, why didn't you tell me? This is _serious_. If I had known I wouldn't have set the course to the Citadel to replace the Capissen 38s. "

"No, Shepard it's okay. I told my aunt I would meet her there and explain things. Besides, doesn't Cerberus know that you should never fly Capissen 38? We could fall right through the sky with those." Rue could see the hint of a smile on the quarian's face.

"Well you still should have told me. I can help you."

The quarian looked up at her, eyes gleaming. "Thank you, Shepard. Just knowing that is enough. I will meet with my aunt and explain that there must have been a misunderstanding."

"Alright. Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, I think I should do this on my own."

"If that's what you want, but if anything changes you let me know. Promise."

"I promise."

"Good, good. When we hit the Citadel we're taking 24 hours of shore leave. I want you back on the ship on the dot, understood?"

"Aye, aye, Captain," Tali said, nodding once in confirmation.

~•~

"So, are you going to tell me what this thing with Chambers is all about?" Rue said as she rocked back and forth in the leather chair in Miranda's office. The informant remained indifferent where she sat behind her desk, though Rue could see the hint of annoyance cross her face.

"Why did she tell you about that?"

"Well, seeing as you've missed the last two due to the heavy work load you've had recently she came to her commander asking me to talk to you."

"_Chambers _asked you to talk to me?" Rue could see Miranda's scowl deepen.

"You know she did the right thing. Now are you going to tell me what those meetings are all about?" Rue leaned forward on to her elbows, clasping her hands together.

"Kelly is trying to make me talk about… The incident."

"You mean that your father kidnapped you, shot me and then ended up dead in a helicopter crash?" She said bluntly, forcing Miranda to either correct her or otherwise react to her statement.

"And that I can't remember anything of it," Miranda said before she threw her hands up in the air. "She is freaking me out, Rue! It's not helping going to her once a week just to be reminded every single time that I _don't_ remember anything."

Rue took a deep breath. "I know."

"I don't see the point of me going there just to reaffirm that I can't recollect anything of what happened that day. It's been two moths and I still don't remember _anything_."

"Have you tried just talking to her about things in general in regards to that matter?"

"Things in general?"

"Well, what you just told me? It could help, plus she might stop pestering you about missing your meetings."

The informant sighed in defeat. "Fine, I'll go next time."

"No excuses."

"No excuses," Miranda repeated begrudgingly.

"Oh, don't look at me like that." Rue snorted.

"Look at you like what?"

"Like I just killed your puppy."

The informant laughed shaking her head. "So, Lindeberg said you wanted to get the shields fixed. I thought we got those sorted a while back."

"Yeah, we did but we missed two. I'm not sure the Normandy could withstand a big blast with those two old regenerators."

"I'll look into it."

"Good." She got up from her seat walking towards the thick office doors before turning around.

"Yes?" Miranda inquired.

"We take ground at fifteen hundred hours. I want you ready by the deck then."

"What for?"

"You and I, Miss Lawson, have a date. And I want you in civil clothes, none of that Cerberus gear." Rue said, adding as she walked out of the office, "that's an order!"

~•~

The Citadel basked in the warm sunlight and Liara enjoyed walking along the wide streets of its centre as she made her way to the meeting point her contact had set up. She had found her new source as she scoured the channels she knew belonged to the Shadow Broker. A former informant gone rogue. If you could go rogue from having already gone rogue in the first place that is. It had taken her days and endless hours of dead ends, wrong turns and clues gone cold before she had been able to locate him, but now she had and he possessed information that could be invaluable to her. The dress rustled around her ankles as she made her way down a pair of stairs. Last time she was here she wreaked havoc trying to find out where Rue's body had gone. Citadel officials had been less than pleased. _Then they should have seen Omega. _She mused as she took a sharp left turn leading her onto to the main street.

The Keepers were back, moving at their usual slow speed. To think that they had been created by the Protheans thrilled her and she felt a surge of the same excitement and curiosity she had felt back when she had still been in school. She remembered when she met Rue and realized that the human standing in front of her had been in contact with a still functional Prothean device and even managed to receive one of their messages. A jumbled incomplete message, but still! She had felt so thrilled to be able to study the commander, to learn even more about the Protheans. Much to her embarrassment Rue had noticed this and teased her about perhaps wanting to dissect her in a lab. Liara smiled. She missed those days, before all this. Before she knew what it was to have someone you cared for ripped away from you, before life had changed and she went from a naïve archaeologist to a cold-hearted information broker. This was who she had to be right now. Perhaps when this was all over she could go back to being who she used to be? Or maybe she could be a little bit of both? What would Rue think if she saw her now? Would Rue think of her as cold and calculating or would she understand the choices she had had to make in order to bring Rue back, in order to find Feron and help him?

Xandrell Genesis. It was the finest hotel on the Citadel. She navigated her way across the bridge while avoiding the occasional C-Sec officers scattered about. Her informant had set their meeting spot in a fairly public place, but not so public they could be spotted easily. Xandrell Genesis offered their guests the privilege of discretion, which meant it would be hard for security cameras to spot them. She understood his caution. Betraying the Shadow Broker was nothing you did lightly. She had seen what it had cost Feron. It was a high price to pay. She could see the polished exterior of the hotel as she drew nearer, her eyes trailing the balconies from the top to the bottom when something caught her eye. Something brilliantly red and familiar, like a beacon amidst the crowd of people that stood out despite just catching a fleeting glimpse. She quickened her steps, her heart thumping wildly as she saw the commander stand with her back turned towards her.

Rue! The tall commander stood leaning against the desk looking unusually relaxed. She wasn't wearing armour, but rather a pair of loose fitting jeans with a black suit jacket, a white top peeking out from underneath it. By the Goddess she was beautiful. Liara could feel her heart race as she continued walking towards the commander, desperately thinking of something to say. _Hello, Skipper? No. Well, look who's back in town? No! Long time no see? Or maybe just, hello Rue. _

How would she explain things? Where would she start? How would she start? Her thoughts whirled around her head. All she could really think of was how she wanted to run up and just kiss her, just to feel her body close again. To feel her in her arms, alive. A smile grew on her lips when a movement to Rue's right side caught her attention. An arm snaked itself around the commander's waist and Rue wrapped her arm around the raven-haired informant who leaned in close. Liara frowned. Miranda was just as casually dressed, which was an odd sight to say the least. She had never seen Operative Lawson in anything else but that low-cut jumpsuit of hers. Now she wore a skirt and a nice blouse accentuating her every curve. And she had quite a few of them... And those heels made her legs seem endless. Liara felt a tightness in her chest. The receptionist said something that caused the couple to look at each other before they both burst out laughing. The informant shook her head and was rewarded with a kiss from Rue.

Liara halted to a stop, not knowing for how long she stood and watched them kiss each other. However long or short it was it felt like a lifetime before they parted. A lifetime she had expected to have with the same woman kissing Miranda in front of her. She watched the woman she still loved drop her hand to the side to grab Miranda's before pulling her into the confined space of the lift. She didn't have to know Rue to know what the informant's scandalized laughter meant. She swallowed thickly, feeling her throat constrict at the thought. What she had seen wasn't two people just fooling around. She recognized the look Rue had when she looked at Miss Lawson. Rue was in love.

~•~

"So why Mrs. Doodikins?"

Rue turned her head to the side, smirking as she felt Miranda lean in close to her where she stood staring out at the view from their balcony.

"What can I say, you gave me a taste for fake names."

Miranda laughed. "What's wrong with the identities Cerberus came up with?"

"Do you really want Cerberus to be able to tap in on _everything _you do?"

"Fine. You have a point," Miranda replied before turning around. "The room is really nice. Did you see that bed?"

"Hey! What's wrong with my bed? Or yours for that matter. Or your desk..." She muttered the last few words under her breath, but Miranda still heard her and she chuckled in response.

"Who would have thought you were such a romantic. Hotel and a romantic dinner."

"You know, if we were the kind of couple who celebrated getting together this would technically be our two month celebration. But we're not, so..." She could feel Miranda shift next to her and she tried to ignore the informant who was staring at her with grin.

"_What_?" She finally succumbed.

"Do you want me to be your girlfriend?" Miranda teased, beaming conspiratorially as she wrapped her arms around her neck.

"That's not what I said," Rue could feel her cheeks burn. That's not what she had said!

"No? That's what it sounds like."

"You know I just want you as my personal bed warmer. Cerberus was cheap with the heating," she replied stubbornly.

"Uh huh." Miranda said, obviously not buying the excuse or her pretend sulk.

"Well, if my bed happened to be exclusively warmed by you I wouldn't object. I mean surely because I'm the commander of the ship I could get that extra privilege? I am the one who draws the most gunfire in their direction after all."

"Watch it, Commander or this one might think she's special," Miranda murmured, kissing her passionately.

"Mmm... Maybe just for tonight."

The sound of something sliding and clicking behind their backs alerted Rue of someone's presence and before Miranda had time to react she had pulled her pistol tucked safely inside her jacket, her arm wrapped protectively around the informant as she faced the intruder.

"Oh, my!" Erica Kent gasped from the other adjoining balcony, her dossier dropping to the floor.

"Honey..." She could feel Miranda place her hand on her lower arm and she let her hand drop to the side.

"Are you crazy sneaking up on us like that?" She snapped, easily slipping back into the role of an intimidating commanding officer.

"Oh, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to startle the two of you, I just thought it was you and wanted to check. We didn't have time to say goodbye with everything that happened at Ambassador Goodwill's estate and all."

"What?" Rue could hear the annoyance in her voice. This was meant to be their night off and if something was going to disturb them it was going to be Tali or something that had to do with the Normandy, not this woman.

"Well, with that horrible explosion! We didn't know if the two of you had gotten injured in it. Everyone fled so fast and it was such chaos."

_Explosion? Is she referring to the lab that they set on fire? _

"I'm afraid we left before then. We had an emergency with the colony," Miranda lied.

"Oh, it was horrible! You must hear it all over dinner. I insist. It's so good to see you again, I felt like we really connected," Erica said smiling at her. Rue noticed she wasn't as warm and friendly towards Miranda who also seemed to notice.

"My wife and I are actually here on our anniversary-"

"Well that's perfect!" Mrs. Kent chimed. "Me and Bryce are here because of business, first time in space. Very exciting, but let us buy you two dinner and we can catch up on everything that's happened since that awful charity auction."

"I don't know..." Rue said looking at Miranda for support. She could see that Miranda was trying to calculate the possibility of finding out what had happened that night and she could tell by the way Miranda held her hand in hers that she needed to talk to the Kents in hopes of finding the answers she so desperately needed. "Maybe we can pay for ourselves and just call it a good old catching up dinner?" She suggested sounding more positive.

"It's a date then." Erica winked before retreating back to her own room.

Rue sighed shaking her head, looking at Miranda. She was chewing her lip, eyes narrowed.

"I know this was going to be our night off, but maybe they know something. If so we have to find out. We need to make sure there weren't any complications after we left."

Rue grinned inwardly giving herself a mental pat on the back. "Let's prepare for dinner then, Mrs. Doodikins."

~•~

"Are you ok?" Rue asked where she sat next to Miranda by the table at Zirca Lounge. She let her arm rest on the back of Miranda's chair and she studied her in the dim light from the candle-like lamps placed around them.

"I'm fine," the informant answered softly, turning towards her. "I wish this didn't have to be work related," she murmured softly as her hand came up to rest against Rue's cheek. Rue let her head slump slightly to the side, closing her eyes at the soft touch of Miranda's hand. These moments were so rare and it made her realize how weary she was. She opened her eyes again to find Miranda studying her face intently.

"What?"

Miranda leaned forward slightly kissing her unhurriedly. "This is absolutely terrifying..."

"What is?"

"Not being able to control my emotions around you."

"Hm." Rue chuckled softly.

"I love you."

"I love you too, but you know, those kisses will get you nothing but trouble," Rue murmured.

"I know." Miranda said eyes glinting seductively.

Rue chortled. "You were right."

"About what? It happens so often you'll have to remind me," the informant flashed her a playful smile.

"This would have been better if it wasn't work related."

"You doubted it would?"

"Well, you know, someone once told me they weren't here to be charming or make friends. Turns out she failed miserably at both things. So I don't really take her word for it anymore."

"You're an arse."

"You love it."

"I do."

Rue smiled pulling the informant closer secretly hoping they could stay like this for longer. Just Miranda and her in this secluded area of the galaxy. If only they could just stop time for a little while to catch their breath. Much to her dismay she felt Miranda place her hand on her stomach and she looked up to see Erica Kent stride forward with a big fake smile on her lips. Mr. Kent followed closely behind. _Here we go_, Rue thought to herself.

"Are you armed?" She mumbled quietly, barely moving her lips as she returned Erica's fake smile with one of her own.

"Mmhm," Miranda replied cooingly, mimicking Rue's smile.

"Good, please don't use it to shoot Mr. Kent if he hits on you."

Miranda chuckled through her smile. "I make no promises, dear."

"Ah! The Gilchrists. It's so good to see you!" Bryce Kent said in his over dramatic suave tone, flashing two rows of perfectly straight teeth in their direction. He reminded Rue of a dinosaur she once read about.

They stood up and extended their hands, exchanging pleasantries. "How are you?" and "lovely outfit" followed by "wonderful new hair colour" and "amazing what they've done here". Rue stopped listening after the first few.

"Wasn't it awful what happened at the Ambassador's estate?" Erica said leaning forward across the table as if she was telling them a secret.

"Do they have any idea how it happened?" Miranda asked as they sat down.

"That old fool had leased some underground laboratory to Larkin Hannoway." Bryce snorted. His wife shot him a quick look and Rue could tell he'd already said too much. They would need something in return. Her instincts were warning her that they knew more than they were letting on. She just needed to find out what it was.

"I hear a group called Cerberus was behind it. Apparently they blew the whole thing up. Most likely aliens or something to that effect I'd guess. You know how they hate those," she said as she heard Miranda choke on her water. Erica gasped, putting down the fork with her uneaten appetizer stuck on the end.

"That would explain it!"

"It certainly would," Bryce agreed. Whenever he spoke he reminded Rue of one of those princes she had seen in the old cartoon movies.

"Oh?" She goaded them to keep talking.

"Well, " Erica took a deep breath then continued, "no one really speaks of it, but Larkin used to have a daughter. Fiercely stunning they say. Apparently," she lowered her voice. "she isn't, well, his real daughter." They both remained silent waiting for the other woman to continue speaking.

"They say she was his first successful cloning project. The one whose genetic build was then used for those Courtesan Earth's products, I think. Can you imagine? Having a... tank-bred child."

Rue could see Miranda drop her hand into her lap, clenching her fist so hard her knuckles whitened. She put her hand on Miranda's balled up fist gently sliding her fingers between the informant's loosening up the clenched fingers until they intertwined themselves with hers. She felt Miranda's hand relax in hers and she returned her focus to the couple sitting opposite them.

"Anyway, " Bryce cut in. "Larkin tried to hire Lexington Ranesh nearly two months ago, just before the charity auction to, listen to this, refine the Reznor drug."

"God knows what that man is up to now. What would you possibly refine a sedative drug for?" Erica took a sip of her wine.

"Well, the talk is that Larkin is trying to use alien DNA with his new products. If that was the case then that would explain why Cerberus blew it up. They hate _everything _alien after all."

"I wouldn't necessarily say they _hate _aliens," Miranda protested, a line forming between her eyes.

"What do you mean 'what he's up to _now_'?" An uneasy feeling crept the length of Rue's spine.

"I'm sure it's something astounding despite all the rumours. The man's a genius after all."

"I'm sorry, we heard rumours about him being in some sort of accident."

"What? No! What kind of news do you get up here?" Erica huffed, shaking her head.

Larkin hadn't been in that helicopter crash? Then just who had Miranda seen in the wreckage?

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	19. Seeds of Hope

**AN: **I know this chapter is well overdue, but I worked on my other stories and by the time I got around working on this one my brain was totally fried. Also, it's been Comic Con. ;) Where I got to attend a special Mass Effect meeting which is completely confidential so I'm not allowed to say anything, but it was awesome.

So ladies and gentlemen, I would really appreciated if you could review the chapters after you read them. I am amazed and absolutely baffled over how many subscribers and faves this story has and I'm very grateful people read this. However it would really help me a great deal to hear what you think,, what you like, dislike, hope for etc. It helps bring the story forward and I would really appreciate it if you wold take the extra time to do it.

As always huge thanks to my beta iu-atticus. Without my beta the story wouldn't be the same.

Enjoy!

~Elmjuniper

* * *

_Parts of me foolishly hoped we had forever. That she would choose me. That Rue loved me more than her._

**SEEDS OF HOPE**

THE LAST THING MIRANDA REMEMBERED was the powerful surge of biotics that hit her square in the chest before her whole world spun, the force sending her across the edge of the small platform inside the Collector base. She had meant to warp harbinger to damage his shields, but instead her biotics had sprung from her fingers in an arch before evaporating into thin air. Seconds later it made contact with her body and she felt the air knocked out of her lungs. The moment it hit she knew she was going to die. She opened her mouth to cry out to the only person who really mattered but then her world went black and the darkness enveloped her senses.

~§~

_There were five of them, hovering above her, observing her like some pet in the zoo where she lay. The smell was there. A strong, metallic, acid smell. One man removed his mask._

"_Father?" She asked in confusion._

"_I have a gift for you," he said holding out his hands._

"_What?" She couldn't make sense of what he was saying. "But you're dead. I saw you die."_

_He chortled, his black brows furrowing together as he did. It was a cold, heartless laughter. _

"_Miranda, dearest, you can never escape from me. I have eyes everywhere. Now, it's time for my gift. Take care of it."_

"_I don't- you didn't give me anything."_

"_I gave you everything, Miranda. I gave you life." He smiled. "I gave you life a second time around." He puts his mask back on and nodded to the other men. _

_Hands pushed her down, holding her in place as the surgeon cleaned his scalpel. _

"_Stop it!" She screamed, but nobody listened, just held her in place as the surgeon cut her abdomen open with one swift movement. _

She woke up screaming, sitting up on the bed with such speed her vision swam before her eyes. Her head surged with dizziness, barley giving her time to lean over the side of the bed before she felt the liquid contents of her stomach leaving her mouth.

"Hey! Hey, hey, hey," Rue grabbed her gently and she let her head rest against the commander's stomach.

"Where am I?" She whispered quietly when she could finally breathe again.

"In the infirmary." She could hear the doctor's voice behind her back.

"What happened?" She asked as Rue helped her lean back against the pillows again, handing her a cloth to clean herself with. She could see Rue exchange an odd look with the doctor before she spoke.

"You got hit by harbinger's biotics."

"Why are you looking at each other like that?" Her head throbbed and she had to squint against the bright light in the infirmary. Rue wore a worried expression on her face.

"The attack, it should have killed you," Chakwas said in a serious tone.

She sighed. "Well, I'm not really designed to die."

"Miranda," emerald green eyes filled with concern studied her. "Your body did something odd. Your biotics sealed it in. It protected it somehow, but it also sent out a shockwave killing every single collector on that platform."

"I don't understand."

"The blood test I ran on your blood earlier this month showed something _curious_. You have residue of Naprius in your blood. It's a steroid used for medical purposes."

"What kind of purposes?"

"Well, most commonly it's used together with another drug, Reznor, to induce amnesia."

"You mean-?"

"There's a reason you don't remember anything from when you were taken."

"My father, he planned this. Reznor was the drug he tried to improve," she said bitterly. How could she have been so naïve as to think that he would be dead? Larkin Hannoway didn't die unless he wanted to.

"What we don't understand is how you've been exposed to the drugs since you came back to the Normandy." Chakwas wore a look of concern.

"We have a traitor," she said, studying their grim faces.

Rue nodded. "Seems likely."

"Could Naprius affect my biotics?"

"It is possible, it's a steroid so it could enhance your powers. It's not uncommon occurrence. Biotiball players have been known to use it to improve their performance."

"Is that even allowed?" Miranda frowned. The doctor cocked her eyebrow in reply.

"Oh… I see." She sighed. "Now what?"

Rue sighed. "I don't know. I had EDI go through the security footage, but she hasn't found anything except for a few instances when your feed has gone dark."

"I noticed them a while back. I was going to investigate them, but…" She groaned. Her head hurt too much and she felt exhausted from just thinking.

"The problem is EDI doesn't have access to all the data." Rue trailed off, uncertain as to the reason why.

"I only have access to real-time data of the ship," EDI filled in. "I cannot access post data without permission."

"We will need to keep a close eye on you from now, Miranda. It is important that you're not exposed to any more of the drug."

Miranda narrowed her eyes, studying the doctor. There was something in the way she said it that made her suspicious. She opened her mouth to speak, but stopped herself. The doctor's intense gaze indicated it was something she wanted to discuss in private. So she closed her mouth again, looking back over at the commander. Rue gave the doctor a barely visible nod. Chakwas returned it with one of her own before retreating from the room.

She tilted her head slightly giving the commander a questioning look.

"I know you trust Cerberus." Rue started.

"And I know you don't." She knew what Rue was going to say and she didn't want to hear it.

"No, I don't. You're the highest ranked Cerberus officer on this ship. You were there when the Normandy was rebuilt and when EDI was retrofitted. Does EDI have access to more than real-time data?"

"No. She's an AI, but she's a shackled AI. That places a few restrictions on her access and abilities. It was a precaution Cerberus took when installing her into the Normandy. A safeguard if you will, to protect the AI from going rogue."

Rue looked away from her, her eyes distantly wandering somewhere across the metal flooring. Looking back up at her, the commander wore a grim expression. "That leaves the possibility that the Illusive Man could be part of-"

"No," she said, determinedly cutting Rue off. "He wouldn't. He kept me safe from father! He let me put my abilities to use for the good of humanity. He... He can't have betrayed me as well."

"Miranda," Rue sat down on the side of her bed. "The Illusive Man knew the turian distress beacon was a Reaper signal."

She shook her head. She knew Jack played games, but he never did so without good reason. He was the only one who had been able to see the larger picture and to do something about it. "He must have a reason…"

Rue grabbed her by the shoulders, her eyes blazing with anger. The kind she wore during battle, when neither life nor death seemed to matter to her. Rue stared at her with those eyes that frightened her enemies and at times her comrades.

"He sent us into a death trap. Do you hear me, Miranda? We could have all died! What good reason could there have been to justify that? If you want to die for your employer that is all well and good, that is _your _choice, but I am _not _risking the lives of _my _crew for your boss' little games!"

Miranda found it hard to breathe, her chest constraining.

"These are lives he's playing God with!" Rue threw her arm out pointing in the direction of the crew quarters. There was a rage in the commander's voice she hadn't heard before, like the erupting core of a volcano. She followed the commander's finger knowing the mess hall would be full of the Normandy's crew dining, joined by Garrus, Tali, Kasumi, and even Jack who had started to take her meals in the mess. The members of the commander's closest squad had become much more than just a few faces in the crew to Rue. Where she sat opposite the angry marine she could see that Rue would not let the people she cared about be bargained with like some cattle.

"I almost lost you, Miranda. Again," Rue said, her voice softening as she gently grabbed her face between her hands.

She looked back at the commander. Rue was Alliance at heart; she'd never accept the Illusive Man as an ally. Now Rue's conviction that the Illusive Man couldn't be trusted would be even more firm. Miranda closed her eyes. Could she have been so foolish? Could Jack really be part of this? She tried to make sense of the information she had.

"I don't understand," she mumbled tiredly. "I'm supposed to be smarter than the average person and it seems…" She fell silent unable to finish the sentence.

"Your level of intelligence has nothing to do with who you trust. That's all a gut feeling. You're not dumb. Your heart is in the right place. Use it."

Heart? Use heart over logic? Looking back at the commander she snorted inwardly. _Well, when it came to Rue you used heart over logic. _

"You're right. I need to talk to the Illusive Man."Her stomach rumbled loudly causing Rue to smile.

"Hungry much?"

"Actually, I'm starving."

"What for?"

She contemplated Rue's question, frowning. "Pickled cucumbers with peanut butter." _What?!_

Rue grimaced in revulsion. "Err…What, with the peanut butter _on _the _pickled _cucumber?"

"I don't know where that came from. It sounds disgusting, no, it sounds just like the right thing." She explained in a mixture of exasperation and excitement. _What is going on with me?_

"I'm not sure if we have cucumbers, let alone pickled ones," Rue said.

She sighed. She really, really wanted that and the more she thought about it the more she craved it. The commander laughed.

"You stay here and I'll see what we can dig out."

~§~

"You okay?" Rue eyed the tattooed convict as she placed herself next to her by the bar in the starboard lounge. Jack shook her head flicking a bottle cap between her fingers.

"That was some sick shit, Shepard," she mumbled.

"Tell me about it," she replied with a shake of her head. Whatever any of them had expected when they headed out on that mission they could never have foreseen what they would actually find on the abandoned collector base. It was like stepping through the gates of hell into a nightmarish dimension. The smell had been overwhelming. Only raw will had kept them all from throwing up. She could still hear the distant dripping sound of what she had thought was water. She could still remember the crew's faces when they all realized it was blood. Human blood.

That ship could easily collect all human colonies and all of Earth and still have room left for both asari and turian civilizations. The sheer size of the inside of the ship made her feel hopeless. How could they stop something like that? All those abandoned lifepods, all those lives lost. She sighed, turning her head away from the other woman and closing her eyes. They all expected her to stop this, but where she sat she wondered how much she could really do. Regardless of the collectors -no matter what they were up to- the reapers were still coming. It wouldn't matter if she stopped the collectors or not. The reaper threat was looming.

"I found this," Jack said, tossing a folder onto the bar counter in front of her. Thin white papers slid out from it, spreading across the counter.

"What is it?" She frowned at the papers.

"That's Cerberus information about where they held me captive." She could hear the anger in Jack's voice and remained silent waiting for the convict to speak again, "I want to go there and I want to blow that hellhole up. I want to see it burn."

"You sure that's a good idea?"

"You sure working with Cerberus is smart? I didn't ask for your fucking opinion, Shepard. You told me you could help me. _That's_ what I want." Jack closed her fist, her brows furrowing together, anger, hatred and resentment burning from her eyes.

She remained silent contemplating the request. Would it benefit the team in the long run if she let Jack run off and blow up some old Cerberus facility? Granted, it would probably be quite cathartic to do it. Jack was… Complicated. She wore her tattoos like a wall of protection on skin that was as thick as kevlar. Despite that there was this yearning to belong, not that Jack would ever admit to it, but by the way she spoke, Rue could tell. Jack _wanted _to belong somewhere. Doing this could push the ex-convict in either direction. Either she would chose to fight alongside them, like one of them or she would completely fall off that rocker of hers. The sensible thing would be to convince Jack that blowing things up wasn't really on their agenda, she could always blame it their schedule being fully booked with other things to blow up already, or she could let Jack have her way. If someone had offered her a place on the squad that was sent to Torfan, what would she have done? _You would have gone out there and killed every single batarian._

"Okay," she emptied her bottle of beer, setting it down on the counter. "Whatever you need, Jack. We'll see to it."

Jack scoffed in irritation, pushing away from the counter as she slid off the stool. "Just don't go all soft on me, Shepard," she hissed before scuttling off to the cramped area under the engine bay.

Rue smiled to herself. Jack definitely wanted to belong.

~§~

Miranda squirmed in her outfit where she stood. It felt… Uncomfortable. The fabric itched and pressed tightly against her ribs. She grimaced in a try to hide her discomfort. Was it usually this warm in the comm room? She felt a hot flush was over her and she sighed loudly. All heads turned her way, the commander obviously annoyed with being interrupted.

"Ahem," she cleared her throat awkwardly. "Sorry, don't mind me." Scratching the side of her forehead, she swallowed thickly. The nausea was returning and she inhaled deeply, focusing on the group in front of her. _Salt. I really need something salty. _For whatever reason salty food -or snacks for that matter- seemed to calm the nausea.

"…Pragia." She heard the commander finish her sentence.

"What?" She looked up from where she had been standing deep in thought.

"Our next mission, weren't you listening?"

"But Shepard, that's a Cerberus facility."

"A _prison_," Jack snarled from the other side of the room.

"But Cerberus closed that facility down. It's a waste of our time going there. Besides, we still need to find the justicar." She tried to argue.

"We're going to Pragia."

"Exactly _what _is it you hope to find there?" She turned to Jack, crossing her arms. This was ridiculous. They didn't have time for some petty grudge. Going to Pragia would accomplish _nothing_. This was not related to their mission and should not be given any priority. She looked over at Rue, eyebrow raised challengingly.

"We are going and that's final. I will not discuss this further with you, Miss Lawson." Rue looked back with a serious expression telling her this discussion was over. It was clear Rue wasn't about to back down. Biting her tongue she remained silent. Rue was the captain of the ship after all. Looking down at the floor she felt the frustration and anger well up inside and she could feel tears burn behind her eyes. _What in name of the maker?! _Something was definitely not right with her. These moments of the sudden overwhelming feeling of wanting to cry was extremely uncharacteristic. _Major case of PMS… _She frowned into the floor, feeling her bottom lip almost jut out in a pout.

"Eh, Commander, not to ruin your fun, but we just got word of the justicar. She's been sighted on Nos Astra," Joker announced from the bridge.

"Shit." She could hear Rue's annoyance. "Get us to Pragia fast and then we head directly for Illium. Now everyone get ready for when we get there."

Miranda moved to walk out the room when Rue's voice rang out. "Not you, Miss Lawson. You're off this one."

"What?!"

"You heard me. You were injured just a few days ago. I can't risk brining you with us," Rue said sternly, not bothering to look up from the hologram she was studying with Garrus.

"That's a Cerberus facility down there and as a Cerberus agent I have the authority to disobey your orders."

Cold, angry eyes clashed with hers and Miranda swallowed thickly. Maybe she had gone too far.

"_Whose _authority, Miss Lawson?" There was an unspoken challenge in Rue's eyes and Miranda knew what the commander was after. Standing her ground she opened her mouth.

"The Illusive Man's." She wasn't going to let their personal lives dictate where she went or didn't. Rue couldn't expect her to just sit around as the rest of them went off to blow up something that was still Cerberus property. Rue might not like the Illusive Man and she might even think he was a traitor, but Miranda wasn't about to let their personal differences regarding her boss be a deciding factor in their relationship. Either Rue accepted it or she didn't.

The commander remained silent for a long time, eyes blazing with fury.

"Fine."

Miranda cringed when she heard the displeased tone in Rue's snarl. The rest of the group had stopped to witness the scene between them before they quickly shuffled out through the doors. Miranda turned to follow the rest of them when she stopped dead in her tracks. PMS. It wasn't the time of the month for that, in fact, now that she thought about it, she couldn't remember when she had last been on it. No PMS, no monthly hassle. She felt her hands tremble. She was never overdue, never early, never anything but regular and right on time. Then she remembered the expression Chakwas had worn on her face a few days earlier when she woke up in the infirmary. She had wanted to talk to her about something, but she had left when Rue had told her she suspected the Illusive Man to be the traitor. Suddenly desperate to talk to doctor Chakwas she hurried out from the room ignoring Rue's voice behind her back. Chakwas knew something and she had to find out what.

~§~

"What the hell was that out there?" Rue shouted, throwing her arm in an arch, pointing towards the door.

"You can't just tell me to stay on the ship."

"Oh, I bloody well can! I'm the goddamn captain, Miranda. If I say jump you jump."

"I am not one of your soldiers following your every whim! Unlike some I can think for myself." Miranda snapped back.

"Are you out of your mind? What do you think the others will think? You just undermined me in front of my whole crew! Now how many of them are going to consider not obeying orders now?"

"They always listen to you," Miranda said refusing to give in.

"Oh yeah? So when I order someone to run headlong into a bunch of Collectors how many do you think will now consider not doing so because of your little display out there? I work hard to keep morale up and you just took a swipe at it. Did you ever think about that?!" Rue raged as she paced back and forth in her office.

Admittedly she hadn't thought about that. In fact she hadn't thought things through at all. She had just been angry she was put on the sideline when the rest of the team could go.

"No. I'm sorry, Rue…"

The commander stopped her pacing, dropping her arms to the side, palms held outwards. "Miranda, this isn't biotiball. I'm not sidelining you because you're not good enough. I'm sidelining you because you got hurt and you need to rest and recover whether you like it or not. You know I can't risk the team. I pulled Garrus last week after he got shot."

"I know. I'm just worrying you're wasting precious time going there." She admitted.

"It's for Jack. I need her to be at her best. I need her to trust me. This is the only way I'll get her to let me in and if it means chasing the justicar for a little bit longer, then that's what I'll have to do."

Looking away from the commander she walked toward the windows, looking out through them. She crossed her arms across her chest.

"Okay, if that's what you want I will stay here. I just don't like not being out there to help. Not when I know I'm a damn good biotic."

She felt Rue's warm hands on her hips as the commander pulled her close.

"You are and we all know it. Just sit this one out until we know more."

She could feel Rue's nose and lips nuzzle her throat as the weary commander drew a deep breath. This war against the Collectors and the Reapers was taking its toll on Rue.

"Promise me one thing," Rue murmured.

"What?"

"We always sort our shit out before we go out there, Ri. Because out there we focus on the battle."

Miranda smiled at the nickname. "I promise," she whispered leaning in close to the commander. "Tell you what, when this is all over we'll find a quiet beach somewhere. Just the two of us."

Rue chuckled quietly. "I'll hold you that."

"You better."

~§~

"But that can't be right," Miranda said where she stood in the infirmary crossing her arms defensively.

Karin Chakwas sat with her hands resting in her lap as she looked up at the informant. Fear. That's what she could see displayed in the other woman's eyes. Not that Karin felt like she could blame Miranda. Had she been in the informant's shoes she would have without a doubt felt the same way. She took a deep breath, smiling calmly.

"It may not be that. Your body might be producing the same or similar hormones the body would produce during a pregnancy for reasons I can't diagnose yet."

"But I'm _infertile_." Miranda laughed in exasperation. "I can't be pregnant, also I think I would have known if I had-" the informant paused, "been with someone."

"Well," Chakwas felt herself grin.

"What?!" Miranda exclaimed, but her cheeks flushed.

Karin chuckled in amusement. "Miranda, have you seen Rue sit in a wake by someone else's side who's been at the infirmary?"

The informant cleared her throat, squirming awkwardly.

"Exactly. Besides, I have my office opposite yours. I see and _hear _things."

"Okay, fine! So you know," Miranda snapped, the blush spreading to the tips of her ears.

She scoffed. "I don't know who _doesn't _know."

"We could be just friends, you know." The informant tried.

"Sure," Chakwas said sarcastically drawled. "And I could grow wings anytime and just fly off."

Miranda glared at her raising an eyebrow.

"Either way," she said bringing them back to the subject. "We won't know unless…"

"Oh my God. I have to do a pregnancy test." The informant sunk down in the chair opposite Karin with a heavy sigh. "I've dealt with not having children, it's just…

"You're sacred you could be pregnant, but you're mostly scared to find out you aren't." She said empathically.

"It doesn't matter. I can't be pregnant." Miranda said definitively, wringing her hands nervously as if scrubbing off invisible dirt.

Karin leant forward, reaching forward and gently putting her hands on Miranda's. "And maybe that is what hurts the most."

"I thought I didn't want children anyway."

"You know, Miranda, I've worked for the Alliance all my life and though I tell people I mostly have no regrets there were still times I wished _some things _could have turned out differently. As it is Shepard, Joker and all the other crew members of this ship are the closest things to children that I have."

Miranda lifted her head.

"I understand, Miranda."

Miranda inhaled deeply. "Okay, where's that stick?"

Karin gave an amused chuckle. "A stick won't do, it'll just come out positive. I need to run extensive tests on your samples before we can be sure," she said handing Miranda the plastic container. "I hear we are going to Illium next, I know a brilliant doctor who I am sure can help us."

"Doctor Grenway?" the informant asked looking alarmed.

"Yes, do you know him?"

"No. I'm just… Can we not tell everyone about this?"

There was something the Cerberus operative wasn't telling her, but in regards to this she didn't need to know what it was. The only thing Karin needed was a sample of urine and blood. If Miranda wanted to be anonymous that was her choice.

"It will be completely confidential," she assured the informant.

"Okay, thank you."

She watched the raven-haired woman turn to leave when something caught her eye. She wasn't the kind of woman who would gossip about another woman's weight, but where she sat she could see that the informant was definitely a little bit rounder. Not much, barely noticeable in fact, but to the trained eye, it was obvious something had changed. She frowned. How did Miranda know she was infertile? Who was the doctor she had been to see? What if Miranda wasn't infertile?

Sitting back she counted the weeks in her head. Miranda had displayed these symptoms since they had returned from Earth. If that were the case the informant would be going into her third month. By the time Karin would get the results Miranda could be too far into her pregnancy to terminate it.

Karin covered her mouth with one hand, shaking her head slowly and for the first time in a long time, she silently prayed.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


	20. Broken Old Warrior

**Disclaimer:**Mass Effect and all its places, objects, characters etc you recognize belong to Bioware.

**Quick note:****Remember my first language isn't english, but I've done what I can to proofread this. Please excuse any grammatical errors or typos.**

* * *

_But she didn't and I find myself wondering;was it because Rue let her get closer than she ever let me? Was she more beautiful than me? Was it that she loved Rue better? Whatever it was I see now that there is no place for me here. And the more I think about it the more it hurts. _

**BROKEN OLD WARRIOR**

"I TOLD YOU TO BE CAREFUL," Miranda chided Rue where she sat in the shuttle, the deep gash from the varren's sharp claws throbbing at her ribs. She chuckled, firing off a grin which –by the look on the informant- must have looked more like a grimace. _Blasted Reaper crap it hurts! _She opened her mouth to say something when a thunderous rumble sounded beneath them sending the shuttle shaking. The Cerberus facility had been destroyed it seemed. They both looked over at the tattooed woman standing with her back turned towards them by the window of the shuttle staring out at the explosion underneath them. Jack hadn't spoken since they'd returned to the shuttle. She had just placed herself by the window awaiting the explosion, her face motionless and distant as if lost in another time.

Rue couldn't blame her. Being back on Pragia must have been difficult for Jack. The convict lashed out with anger at people around her in hopes of them fearing her outburst rather than wanting to get close to her. Rue knew better than to by the act. Underneath all the anger and at times carless attitude was someone who did care even if she didn't want to show it. Observing the convict from where she sat Rue knew the battle between emotions and control was raging on within the convict. As much as she would have liked to walk up to Jack and ask her how she was doing she knew it was best to leave the tattooed woman alone for the time being. Jack would need time to process the event.

"I thought I told you to sit this one out," she murmured looking at the informant who was kneeling next to her, patching her up.

"I did," Miranda replied as she applied medi-gel on the wound. Rue sucked in air sharply through her teeth at the touch.

"In the shuttle," Miranda added pulling out a large white patch, pressing it gently against Rue's torn side.

"Uh huh," she breathed out, jaws clenched tightly from the pain the pressure caused her. Whatever genes her father had mixed up in that batch of his, stubbornness clearly was one of them.

"Commander?"

"Joker?" She tapped her ear piece.

"Seems like this might be your lucky day."

"How so? I just got sliced up by a Varren."

"Any important parts get hacked up, Commander?"

She looked down at her side. "No..."

"There you go, lucky."

"Did you want something, Joker?" She asked trying to sound annoyed.

"Looks like the justicar is back on Illium."

"Then set the course and take us there when we get back."

"Yes, ma'am."

"I was hoping for a hot meal at least before the next mission." She grunted closing her eyes.

"It'll take us at least half a day to get there, I'm sure you'll have time for some food," Miranda said, pressing the gauze dressing against the wound.

"And to be check up on by Chakwas," Joker said a little too gleefully for her liking. She rolled her eyes as she felt the shuttle park itself in the Normandy's cargo bay. She remained seated waiting to see if Jack wanted to talk, but the convict brushed past them, an angry expression on her face. Sighing she stood up and let herself be led off the shuttle by the informant who had her arm wrapped around her waist stopping only briefly to talk to Jacob.

"Did you get it?"

"Yes, ma'am, but I'm not sure what to..."

"Give it to Mordin and have him look at it," Rue gritted her teeth as she was turned around the corner of the shuttle bay. "Oh and Jacob?"

"Yes?"

"Good work out there."

"Thank you, Commander," he called after her as the Miranda led her away.

~o~

Nos Astra's grand buildings rose high above the mingling asari where she walked with determined steps, striding across the well-polished floor. The other asari steered out of her way as she made her way through the market place shooting her frightful glances. A reaction she wasn't a stranger to by now. Asari feared her whereas other races were blissfully ignorant of the authority she possessed here on Illium and in the rest of asari space. That she alone had the power to carry out their death sentence, should the codes dictate it. Some asari saw her as a coldblooded killer whereas other saw her as beacon of justice.

Someone else might have been troubled by the obvious fear and avoidance, but she was a justicar, this was what she had laid down her life to do and it did not bother her that others shied away from her. Being alone gave her time to reflect on her life, on her choice, being alone kept her on track, kept her focused on her role as a justicar.

She passed through the thick metal doors following the curve of the corridor before exiting into a larger hall. Making her way down the stairs she overheard a salarian mention a human commander saving some workers in the Dantius towers. It was nice to know that she wasn't the only one trying to do the right thing -if it was the right thing. Sometimes other races' views on things would differ greatly from the justicar codes. Luckily she hadn't had any such situation arise during her visits to the city. She could see the glances exchanged by authorities on Nos Astra and she knew what they were thinking. That she was a ticking bomb. They knew that if a human, salarian, turian or any of the other races did something unjust it would be demanded of her to follow the code. It was a diplomatic incident waiting to happen. She was a justicar, she was no fool.

It was..._curious_ though, to see all the different races. She was not one used to other races than asari. Usually a justicar rarely -if ever- ventured outside asari space, but Morinth had forced her hand. It was not by choice she had come to Illium, Morinth had come this way and so she had no choice but to follow. It was her duty as a justicar to kill Morinth. It was her duty as a mother.

~o~

"The cargo hold?" Miranda asked where she lay on her back, her head resting on Rue's lap. Rue grinned as she leaned back against one of the large boxes stacked along the floor in the holding area.

"Well, it was the closest thing I could find to romantic, not to mention the quietest place I could find." She could hear the informant laugh softly.

"The Captain sneaking off for some R n R."

"Hey! I'm off duty plus this baby needs to heal," She defended herself pointing at her healing wound. She thought she could see the informant flinch, but it was so brief she wasn't sure if her eyes had played tricks on her or not.

"You're never off duty."

"And you are a romance killer."

Sitting up the informant leaned in close. "A romantic getaway with a view of the stars." Miranda gesticulated towards the large windows in front of them. "The fearsome commander is quite the romantic."

"I'm pretty fearsome, aren't I?" She murmured.

"Very," Miranda whispered a smile tugging at her lips. Slipping her arm around the informant, Rue pulled her closer. She knew what that smile meant. The hissing sound of a zipper being unzipped confirmed her intuition as Miranda pressed her lips against hers.

Someone clearing their throat caused them to jump, Miranda quickly pulling the top of her jumpsuit close.

"Yeah, sorry you guys, but uhm…Mordin needs to talk to you, Commander and also there are _rooms _for that kind of action," Joker said from above their heads. "Not that I don't like seeing the XO half-naked, but uh…the Commander is kind of like my sister so that's just too weird for me."

"Ok, just _shut up_, Joker!" Rue shouted, the blush on Miranda's cheeks spreading like a wildfire.

"If everybody didn't already know, they're going to know now…" Miranda muttered as she slid off the box.

"Because you were being _so _discrete," Rue kissed the flustered informant as she pulled her along with her. "Come on, I'll make it up to you later."

"Why does Mordin want to talk to you anyway?" Miranda asked as the lift made a barely noticeable lurch upwards.

"Just something we picked up back on Pragia." She buried her nose behind Miranda's ear, arms wrapped around her.

"Wait, what? What did you _pick up_ on Pragia?" The informant asked sounding alarmed.

"Oh, nothing, just, something."

"Oh, that's very vague, Rue."

The lift pulled to a stop and she released the informant reluctantly. "Ok, back to work."

"I still need to know what you picked up." Miranda crossed her arms.

"Sure you do. I'll tell you later. My place or your place?" The doors opened, a faint smell of warm cables and the yeoman's perfume greeting her when she stepped out from the lift.

"Your place is bigger. Besides I've left my sleeping clothes in your cabin."

Rue frowned. "You did? I haven't seen any of your clothes there," she said before she caught the sly wink as the doors closed once again. Shaking her head she rounded the corner, stepping into the tech labs.

The salarian stood with his elbow resting on his hand, one finger tapping his lip thoughtfully.

"Mordin?"

"Shepard. Good to see you. Have examined Pragia life form, found nothing disturbing about this sample," the fast-talking doctor replied. She pulled to a stop next to him and looked down at the table he was standing by.

The small varren cub lay on its side in the incubator its round belly rising and falling as it slept peacefully.

"It's kind of cute isn't it? A little pudgy," she said as she watched it.

"Not so sure about cute. Fascinating, very. Would like to run tests on it," Mordin said sounding excited at the prospect.

"No tests, be nice to it. So it's a go then?"

"Would not suggest keeping varren as pet, but could make for interesting observations."

"I'm sure it would." Rue chuckled as she lifted the incubator with the varren. "Let's hope this works," she muttered.

"Will work with proper training."

"Good. And, thanks, Mording."

The salarian didn't reply, but merely looked at her, beady black eyes flickering. Then he turned around and returned to his work.

"Have much to do," he said quietly to himself.

She rolled her eyes and walked back out to the lift as Mordin started humming a tune to himself.

~o~

Jack sat crossed legged on her bunk, glaring angrily at Rue when she saw her walk down the stairs. The thick metal echoed underneath her boots and she gave a slight nod, but the convict's eyes narrowed with annoyance.

"I'm not in the mood to talk," Jack said sourly.

"How are you feeling?" Rue asked ignoring the convicts played on hostility as she set down the small box on the table opposite Jack's bed. She half expected Jack to snap at her, but all she heard was a deep sigh.

"How do you think I feel?"

"I think blowing up Pragia has left you..." she chose her words carefully, "confused."

"I don't get it," Jack said throwing her hands up in the air. "I thought blowing that shit hole to hell would make me feel better, but I just feel..." Jack grimaced her fingers rolling into closed fists. Rue waited her out, giving Jack time to collect her thoughts.

"I _needed _to blow that place up, Shepard." Jack looked up at her. "And you helped me do it, I owe you. I just wish it would have felt different now."

"You don't owe my anything, Jack," she said sincerely. _Well, besides a suicide mission_.

"You don't have to be nice to me," the tattooed woman said sounding slightly annoyed.

"Yeah, I do, Jack. That's what friends do." Jack looked away somewhere behind Rue, eyes distant and faraway. She watched the convict and battle she was fighting –the though hardened survivor fighting Jack, the person who wanted to start over.

"You don't understand. All this shit, all this baggage, it changes you…"

"But that doesn't mean you can't change. Look at today. When we first met I never would have thought you'd spare someone like Aresh. Back then you would have blown his head off before he'd even had a chance to call you 'bitch', but you didn't."

"Yeah, well, that guy was stuck in the past, reliving it every day. I don't want to become that –a walking shell with no purpose."

"You won't become that, but you've got to let it go. You got to move on, Jack." Rue turned around and picked up the incubator. "So…I got you this."

Jack's face lit up at the sight of the sleeping varren cub.

"Holy shit, Shepard! How'd you get this?"

"Found it hiding in some pipes near the shuttle right before we left. I figured you could need someone to get back to, a little purpose in your life if you will."

Jack gave a chortle holding the cub up in the air in front of her. It squealed unhappily until she lowered it, cradling it in her arms. "So what, you get cheerleader and I get a damn varren cub?"

"Yeah, you love it," Rue said walking towards the stairs.

"Fucking right I do."

~o~

Dreams. She couldn't remember what those were like. She didn't dream any more, not like she had when she was young. She hadn't dreamt a single dream since many years back, rest was not about dreams or escaping the real world for a few hours. Rest was about meditation and clarity for one's mind.

Dreams like the ones she had as a child had left her long ago. Perhaps even before she became a justicar, that day when she turned on her mercenary gang. Maybe not fully that day, but she knew that the day she found out all her daughters were Ardat-Yakshi whatever dreams she'd had left had been shattered. She entered the building and the asari detective jumped to her feet as Samara approached her.

"Samara," the young officer said wearily.

"You've been expecting me, so you know why I am here." She eyed the officer determining whether she would try to keep her from doing what she came here to do or not.

"I do and I have no desire to stop you. Talk to the guards by the crime scene and they'll let you through." The other asari moved around the desk nodding towards the exit. "Just around the corner from here."

Samara gave a polite nod then she turned, leaving the office. They both knew that the guards wouldn't have been a problem regardless of the officer's approval of her presence or not.

"But Samara," the detective called after her. She stopped momentarily and turned her head towards the detective. "The Eclipse is controlling the back alleys, they may be involved and they will probably be hostile."

"Thank you, detective." She resumed her walk leaving the detective standing. She snorted softly to herself. She had been just as young once. Just a child discovering the world. It was many years ago now, more years than any of these aliens around her had experienced.

The blue crime scene barricades blared angrily flashing red as she crossed them. She ignored them and the guards following her with watchful eyes as she progressed into the closed off area. The leads of where Morinth might have gone would be in here somewhere and nothing would keep her from finding it. Not the authorities on Illium or some criminal mercenary band. She would crush anyone who tried to get in her way of that information. For the code demanded it. She lifted her gaze. Yes, the code demanded it. And she had sworn by the code to abide it. Morinth was dangerous -a murderer thriving of the thrill that death brought her- and Samara would kill anyone who tried to stop her from carrying out the justice of the code. It did not matter that Morinth was her own child, if anything it made her more determined to see her stopped.

Samara turned her head from one side to the other surveying her surroundings. Her determination however did not mean she took joy in this task. It burdened her, having to slay her own child, the strongest most colourful one of them. The child who had so much spirit, so much life, the child who reminded her so much of Jeneva, the spirited, thick-headed asari she had met after leaving the mercenary life. Truth be told, she took no pride in hunting down her daughter, she felt not like a beacon of justice, but like a broken old warrior.

~o~

"What on earth are you chewing on?" Rue scowled at the informant who sat comfortably propped up against the thick pillows on the bed, popping the thin snacks into her mouth casually. Miranda's eyes darted back and forth above the data pad she held in her hand.

"Hm?" Miranda looked up from the pad. "Oh, you mean these?" She held up the tiny, dried fish between her fingers.

"Yes, _that_." Rue made a face at the fish.

"It's a krogan delicacy." The informant said looking slightly perplexed.

"Krogan delicacy?! Can they even notice they have that in their mouth? It's kind of…" she held out her hands in the air in front of her face, "big."

"Well, they usually take one of these bags in one go." Miranda held the bag up. "You want one?"

"No!" She stuck her tongue out in dismay causing Miranda to laugh.

"Do you want a kiss though?"

"No," she chuckled as she unbuttoned the admiral's jacket.

"Oh, really?" A raised eyebrow and a seductive purr challenged her as the informant sat up on her knees and shuffled closer until she stood close enough to wrap her hands around the back of Rue's neck.

"That's not going to work," Rue tried to slither.

"No?" Miranda asked pulling her face towards her own kissing Rue passionately as their lips met, soft lips caressing Rue's. Giving in to Miranda's persistence she returned the kiss, her tongue coaxing her lover's lips open. She was rewarded with the salty taste of fish.

"Ugh! Ri!" She exclaimed disapprovingly, sticking her tongue out. "That's gross!"

"I think you'll get over it," Miranda whispered huskily as she grabbed Rue's hand gently guiding it inside the lining of her underwear where she stood kneeling on the bed.

"Hey, that's cheating…" Rue murmured at the feel of Miranda underneath her fingertips.

"You know I never play fair," Miranda sighed as they collapsed onto the bed, her fingers digging into Rue's thick hair, pulling at it gently causing her to growl with pleasure.

~o~

Samara looked at the female human solider standing in front of her. This woman was a proud warrior and she had a conviction Samara had seen in very few others. The two women standing next to her –two opposites, who seemed to care very little for each other, followed her faithfully. The one was covered in tattoos, rough and hard exterior whereas the other woman looked relaxed, exuding confidence despite the coldness in her eyes. Samara found herself wondering how this one commander had been able to unite these two women to work as a cohesive unit.

When the commander had first approached her Samara had doubted Shepard's intentions, but Anaya's plea that Samara go with Shepard did not fall on deaf ears. So she had agreed to go with the detective for one day. If Shepard could bring her the evidence she needed she would go with her, if not she would resume her investigation and she would be forced to fight her way out of custody. The commander had pressed the matter further asking her to join her crew and help take down the Collectors.

"You just agreed to help Commander Shepard, just like that?" Anaya had inquired as they'd made their way back to the confinement of the detective's office.

"Yes," she had answered. It was not a lie, but neither was it the whole truth. The Collectors. She'd had a run-in with them before when she was younger and still running with the mercenary group. Back then she thought she had been smuggling weapons, but in reality she had been smuggling slaves to the Collectors. When she had found out she'd freed them, turned on her former comrades never to look back at that day again. How curious that their fates would be intertwined once again.

The commander held out the pad containing information about Morinth's last known location. This woman had impressed her indeed. Not only did Shepard have this information, she had also managed to solve the detective's murder case.

"Do you remember your end of the bargain?" Shepard asked a stern look on her face though Samara thought she could detect a sense of weariness in the commander. She looked back at the woman standing opposite her, searching the other's eyes for something and as she bore through the thick walls she saw a mirror image of herself looking back at her. It seemed she was not the only broken old warrior here.

"I do," she nodded solemnly.

"So you agree to help me then?" The commander sounded slightly surprised. It amused her and she hid a bemused smile.

"That is what I promised."

"Ok, well, we leave later tonight so if you've got any last things do I suggest you do them before reporting to the Normandy."

"I am already done here. There is nothing more for me here." She cast one last glance around the sterile office nodding absentmindedly to herself. "I am ready to leave this place."

~o~

"Hey, Boss!"Jack called from across the bar nearly walking into a tall man. "Watch where you go, jerkface!" She snapped shoving him aside.

Rue chortled, her hands comfortably stuck in her pockets as she leaned into the bar where she stood waiting for Miranda to join her. It had been one hell of a day. First they had successfully recruited the justicar after a lot ado and to top it all off Jack and Miranda had nearly gotten the whole damn ship blown up had she not intervened. Joker had called her on the com radio and as she'd rushed out from the lift she had seen crew members withdrawing from the scene as if to take cover should the two biotics decide to fight it out. She had stormed in roaring at them to stand down, livid with their childish display in front of the rest of the crew. They had both reluctantly lowered their guards, but chairs and dossiers had been tossed both ways. She had chosen the words "disappointed" and "we" to emphasise that the Collectors were the enemy they should be fighting, not wasting energy on petty disputes amongst themselves and that she had thought better of the two them. Much to her relief the speech had worked and both Jack and Miranda had agreed to put their differences aside -for now. It would have to do.

"Jack?"

"Look," Jack said as she sat down on the bar stool next to her. "I fucking hate your girlfriend, but you're not so bad, girl scout, so I will keep from smearing cheerleader on the wall -as a 'thank you'- for helping me out with all this shit." Jack slid a shot over to Rue, picking up her own looking back at her.

"And for my varren." Jack lifted the glass raising an eyebrow at her.

"Gee, thanks, Jack," Rue raised her glass before drinking the shot.

"Why are you standing like some freak show, anyway?"

"Well, now that you joined the party I think we can actually start charging everyone who's staring."

"Fuck you, Shepard."

She laughed. "Yeah, I fucking love you too."

"Oh, you make me sick sometimes, girl scout." Jack spat, but Rue could hear the amusement in her voice.

"Uh huh." She turned around and leaned onto her elbows against the bar. "I think you like being part of this crew, no, don't try to deny it, I'm just saying. You don't have to fess up, but I know you do."

Jack opened her mouth to speak when she heard a familiar voice behind her back.

"Rue?"

She felt her heart rate speed up and she turned around slowly, feeling suddenly shaky and cold. "Liara?"

"Shepard!" The asari gasped, eyes widening in surprise or was that sadness? Liara covered her mouth with both hands, blinking furiously before composing herself enough to straightening up.

"Shepard," Liara said again, this time calmer as she stepped closer, her hands closing around Rue's face. The asari's lips pressed themselves gently against hers, her head spinning as she found herself kissing her former lover once again.

"Baby, I'm so sorry I'm late I was jus-" She heard Miranda stop dead, the last words of the sentence caught in her throat.

"Oh...shit...!" Jack voiced Rue's thoughts.

"Uh...dmn...err...this...this is my...Liara. No, I mean, this is, this is...uh..." She cleared her throat her mind reeling trying to formulate coherent sentences. "Liara, this is Liara."

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

**A/N:**Yeah I know, this took forever. I'm really sorry, life and stuff in general was keeping me busy. I always worked on this story though writing small parts of it here and there. Anyway, if you do like this story and the chapters I would appreciate it so very, **very** much if you could kindly leave a review. Each chapter takes a lot of work and I put my heart and soul into it so it would be awesome to hear what you think, like, don't like, expect, if you can spot any typos etc.

A huge thanks to all of you who have read, faved, subscribed and reviewed this story. And now we really are getting to the good juicy bits. Tsk, tsk, tsk, Shepard caught in the act. Oh my... Where will this all lead? Stay tuned to find out!


	21. The Betrayal Of Hearts

_I don't remember when I first realized how attached to Rue I had become, despite our short time together and it made me feel vulnerable. Parts of me wonder "how". How do I pick myself up from this? How do I stop loving her? How do I move on? How do I find myself again? _

**THE BETRAYAL OF HEARTS  
**

MIRANDA FELT AS IF SHE had just been hit by one of Jack's biotic bolts, both wit and confidence drained from her as she looked from her partner to the asari. Even Jack looked a little taken aback where she sat, still holding the shot glass in front of her lips as if she'd frozen in place, only her eyes darting between the kissing couple and Miranda.

Miranda could see Rue's lips move, but the commander's voice was drowned out by the deafening chaos breaking out inside her head. How was she supposed to react to this? She felt the jealousy and anger stir in her until it grew in force like the coiling water of a dark ocean. Parts of her wanted to blast both the asari and the commander to hell and then storm out of the bar, possibly blasting anything getting in her way -she felt like doing a _Jack _. She swallowed. She wasn't being rational about this. Doing a Jack wasn't _rational_ -it wasn't how she normally reacted to things.

The sad truth was -she realized- that she had never been in love before. She didn't know how to be attached to someone else. She didn't know what rational looked like in a situation like the one she found herself in. So she did the only thing she knew how to do. Thick, impenetrable walls shot up from the ground all around her as she slipped the mask back on like so many times before. It surprised her how easily she slipped back into her old role as the ice queen, how safe and comfortable it felt. Nothing could hurt her now. Rue gestured at the asari although Miranda barley heard her as she introduced the doctor as "her Liara" before correcting herself.

"Doctor T'Soni," she said with a polite nod.

"Miss Lawson," the asari said coldly, an awkward silence settling as the two women silently battled to be the one whose side Rue would pick. She looked over at Rue who stood looking at Liara until she noticed Miranda watching her. The commander smiled, but something in her eyes had changed. They didn't look at her quite the same.

"Awkward..." Jack whispered seemingly to herself just before downing her shot, still staring at the scene playing out in front of her.

_Thanks, Jack. _One could always count on Jack to make an uncomfortable situation even worse.

"It's good to see you," Rue said turning towards Liara. Miranda clenched her jaws. She'd expected Rue to turn to her, perhaps even to try to convince her that she hadn't just locked lips with her _former lover_. She tried not to scowl.

"I heard the Normandy had docked and my sources said you could be found here."

_So you came here for some kisses?!_

"Well, I'm glad you found me, Liara," Rue said earnestly drawing a smile from the doctor. "How have you been?"

"I've been...ok. I heard various rumours saying you were alive, but I didn't dare get my hopes up. But then I heard of the commotion at Dantius Towers a while back and I knew it had to be you."

Rue chuckled and shrugged as she brushed her hair out of her face, firing off that flirtatious smile at Liara who smiled back coyly. Miranda felt like someone had shoved their fist inside her chest, grabbed whatever was in there and was twisting it around as she watched them and the way their bodies seemed drawn to each other by an invisible strong force. Neither of the two women in front of her seemed to notice her where she stood and she realized that suddenly she was invisible to the commander. She felt foolish standing there like some silly teenage girl waiting to be seen or heard. She let her arms drop to the side turning to leave when Liara's voice reached her ears.

"I hadn't heard anything from Miss Lawson though to confirm my suspicions."

"What do you mean you hadn't heard anything from Miss Lawson?" Rue asked sharply. "I didn't know the two of you knew each other."

Miranda froze on the spot not daring to move. She knew this day would eventually come, but she hadn't quite pictured it like this.

"I thought..." Liara looked back at her. "You haven't told her?"

"Told me _what_?" Rue's face took on that dangerous expression it sometimes did, arms folding across her chest as her glare bore down at Miranda.

She had practice this so many times in her head, what she would say when Rue finally found out and yet not a single word came to mind. She opened her mouth to say something, but Liara cut her short.

"I actually-"

Rue ignored the asari walking up to Miranda. "You haven't told me what, Miranda?"

She flinched. It seemed a long time ago since Rue had called her Miranda. In private it was always Ri or baby and outside the cabin it was always Lawson, but never Miranda. It felt odd to hear her use that again, as if they were getting to know each other again.

"I..."

"_Tell _me." The commander demanded. Miranda held her breath. What was she supposed to do? If she told Rue now then what point had it been to keep her promise to Liara in the first place? If she told Rue now she would think she had betrayed her. She couldn't tell her, not now. It was still Liara's decision.

"I can't." She couldn't make herself look at the commander so she looked away, refusing to meet Rue's quizzical stare.

"Why is it you haven't contacted Liara to tell her I was alive?"

"It wasn't my decision, Rue." She tried to explain.

"It wasn't your decision? Was it the Illusive Man?"

"No," she said as she avoided to look at the asari.

The commander shook her head. "You're lying to me, Ri. I thought you were better than that."

Miranda could see the anger in Rue's eyes, a look of disgust on her face. She carefully placed her hand on the commander's arm in an attempt to calm her down.

"Rue, I-"

Liara took a step forward interrupting the two of them. "I was the one who gave Cerberus your body, Rue."

Rue turned around slowly facing Liara. "What?"

"I couldn't let you go. I'm sorry. I just couldn't give you up. Cerberus offered to help me in exchange for your body. I didn't realized until it was too late what they were going to do. By that time I had already left you with Miss Lawson and Cerberus."

"You knew Liara was the one who gave my body to Cerberus? All this time you knew and you never told me."

She could see the disappointment and hurt in the commander's eyes. Rue had trusted her and she had let her down.

"Rue," she pleaded with the commander. "I wanted to, but-"

"But you didn't," Rue interrupted her, shaking her hand off of her arm, walking past her. "I thought you were better than Cerberus, but I guess I was wrong," Rue said angrily, leaving her standing in the middle of the Eternity club heart beating like a hammer, hands shaking, the tears not far away from falling, but she steeled herself then rushed after the angry commander.

~o~

"Rue, please listen to me," the informant tried to reason with her as she sped through the streets of Nos Astra, not having the faintest idea of where she was going. She felt angry and all she wanted was to get away from both the asari and Miranda. Miranda was lying to her _and _she had known Liara wanted to speak to her, but hadn't contacted Liara. And the asari on the other hand had just turned up out of the blue and planted a kiss on her lips, awakening old feelings.

"Rue!" Miranda caught a hold of her arm.

"What?" She snapped angrily.

"I asked you before why you hadn't gone to see Liara," Miranda said looking at her. "And you said it wasn't that important to you."

"Of course it was important to me, Miranda!" She raised her voice in frustration.

"Well, how was I supposed to know that?" The informant threw her arms up in the air.

"Because I _loved _her!" She was yelling now. She could hear herself yell. People around them turned to look at them, wondering what was causing such ruckus. She could see Miranda's eyes suddenly glisten with dampness, her makeup smudging slightly as she blinked through the dampness threatening to overflow her eyes.

"Well, I'm not your secretary, you could have contacted her anytime yourself, Rue."

"I thought that's exactly what you are." Rue retorted sarcastically before she could stop herself. Looking back at the informant she bit back another snarky comment. They way Miranda looked at her she knew she'd hurt her more than what the informant would ever admit.

"Wow," Miranda said in disbelief, her lips thinning as she nodded slowly. "You really know how to pack a punch, Rue."

She opened her mouth to speak, but the informant simply shook her head as the first tears fell. Then she spun on her heels disappearing into the crowded street.

~o~

Rue Shepard tossed and turned in her bed the silence in her cabin too loud, keeping her awake. Her cabin felt empty as if something was missing and she glanced over to her side where the informant usually lay sleeping peacefully. Miranda hadn't left her office since they'd returned from Nos Astra. _Good_. She thought defiantly to herself before feeling a pang of guilt. She had kissed Liara. Technically Liara had kissed _her_, but Rue had kissed her back and she had had liked it. Very much.

She sighed throwing the covers aside, rolling out of the large comfy bed. There was something Miranda wasn't telling her, but what and why? Miranda and Liara knew each other and Liara had expected to hear from Miranda once Rue was alive again, so why hadn't the informant contacted her? Was it because they knew Rue would have done anything to be by the asari's side? That she could never side with Cerberus if she knew Liara was out there needing her help?

She stopped her pacing. What if it had all been an act? To keep her loyal to Cerberus? _No, it can't be, Ri wouldn't do that. _Miranda was capable of many things, but she highly doubted the informant would pretend to love someone and share their bed just so that they would stay. She wouldn't do that, it was out of the question. But the informant was keeping something from her nonetheless.

There was that and then there was Liara. She resumed her pacing. Seeing her again had opened all the locked boxes. Liara's lips against hers had awakened..._something_. She wasn't sure what it was, but it was there nudging at her subconscious.

"Shit!" She muttered, reaching for her fatigues. Slipping into them she grabbed the black hoodie then set out for the bar in the crew quarters. She needed a drink.

The bar lay empty and she relaxed, grateful that she didn't have to be the Commander at this moment. Sitting down on one of the bar stools she reached over the counter and grabbed a bottle of whiskey not bothering to pour it up in a glass, but simply took a swig from the bottle.

"Oh!" She coughed, grimacing at the sudden burning sensation in her throat followed by the smoky after taste reminding her of days spent around the campfires during her training missions. She took another gulp of whiskey before setting the bottle down on the counter. She let her thumb brush across the bulging details on the glass bottle, following its pattern with her eyes. She heard the faintest of sounds behind her back.

"No calibrating left?" she asked wearily.

"How did you know it was me?" Garrus asked as he approached the bar.

"The size of your armour. It does that clicking sound. You're the only one besides me with a heavy armour. Well and Grunt, but he's definitely not as quiet when he walks," she joked. She lifted the bottle to her lips once more, the liquid leaving her warm and calm. She could feel Garrus analyzing her and she turned to glare at him. "What?"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" She tried to avoid the question.

"Well..." The turian said carefully. "Rumour has it you met Liara today."

"Jack told you?"

"Well, everyone saw Miranda storm in and then you trail in hours later and you haven't spoken to each other since earlier. So I might have bribed Jack to tell me," Garrus said his mandibles twitching proudly.

"Do you have to sound so proud about it?" She grunted before exhaling forcefully, the air causing her lips to make a rumbling sound. "I'm a little confused."

Garrus sat down next to her, flicking the lid off of one of the turian drinks in the bar.

"About?"

"Miranda is keeping something from me."

"And that surprises you?" Garrus asked.

"She didn't contact Liara to tell her that I was alive."

"And why should she have? Don't get me wrong, Skipper, I'm not overly fond of Cerberus, but Miranda's been good to you, besides didn't you say Liara had moved on anyway?"

"That's what the files said, but what if they were manipulated? It wouldn't be that farfetched. We're talking about Cerberus after all." She hated herself for thinking it, but the truth was that Miranda was loyal to Cerberus and if they had asked her to manipulate the folders what's to say she hadn't?

"I thought you said you and Liara was over anyway? Why these thoughts now?" The turian shook his head after tasting the turian liquor.

"I thought we were, I mean we were, but now...seeing her again was like..." She fell silent where she sat staring at the glass flask the bright light from behind the counter bouncing off it carelessly.

"Listen, Skipper, the two of you went through some serious things together. Noveria, Saren, Virmire..." He too fell silent and she knew he was thinking of Ashley. After a moment of silence he spoke again. "It's only natural you connect with each other. Also –not to get too personal- but you did do the whole meld thing." He rolled his one eye backwards the other one to the side as he made a very disturbing impression of how he remembered the meld from when Liara had joined their minds together in the com room shortly after joining them.

"That was..._uncanny_, Gar."

"What I'm trying to say is that the meld creates a bond between the two of you that will be very difficult to very difficult to break. Only..."

"I died." Rue finished the sentenced for him.

"Yeah, and..." He started, but she interrupted him again.

"I met Miranda."

"Exactly."

"But why didn't she tell me Liara was the one who retrieved my body for Cerberus?"

"Why does that matter? Would it have changed the fact that you met Miranda?"

She had met Miranda. The cold, distant and arrogant woman she had disliked fiercely to begin with. But she knew Miranda was anything but. The Miranda she went to sleep with at nights -Ri- was the kind, thoughtful, funny and charming woman she loved, the woman whom she had secretly hoped to have a future with. Then Liara had stumbled back into her life and she found that there were still _something_ there. Was it the conviction that if she hadn't died they still would have been a happy couple? Was it the what-ifs that made her consider that she might still have feelings for the asari? Or were she still in love with Liara? She chewed her lips. She had only stopped wanting Liara, stopped longing for her because she thought Liara had settled down with someone else, but when she stood opposite her today it was as if she could reach out and cut with her omni-tool through the chemistry between them. And the kiss. The kiss had left her wanting more, her body remembering the nights they had melded. And Ri, she had kept Liara's involvement from her. If Miranda had told her Liara was the one who gave Cerberus the body then maybe she would have been more inclined to contact her again. Maybe that's exactly what Cerberus didn't want her to do and that's why Miranda had kept her in the dark? The thought of it left little trails of doubt that latched itself on to her mind. _What about your heart_? She moaned in frustration, clasping her head between her hands.

"I'm so confused right now."

Garrus gave a short chuckle patting her on the back. "You'll figure it out. In the meantime, let's drink!"

~o~

Miranda stood staring at her own reflection twisting her body slowly from one side to the other, never taking her eyes off it. She placed her hands on her stomach, running them up and down slowly. She pulled at her lip with her teeth as she felt the barely noticeable bulge.

She shook her head. She was imagining things. All this talk about babies and hormones was making her think there was something there when there wasn't. She couldn't be pregnant. Her father had made sure of that. She had gone to speak to Doctor Grenway earlier that day asking him if he was sure she was infertile. He had assured her there was no way she could be pregnant. He had agreed to run tests on her blood and told her not to worry, that she should just wait out the symptoms as they could be related to stress. Truth be told, since she had met Rue, she might have put on a pound or two, maybe even three, she'd heard that was a common effect of being in a relationship. Surely this was the case for her.

She had felt both relieved and sad. Relieved because if she was pregnant she'd very much like to know when and how that happened. She huffed, unless Rue had magical fingers in more than one way there was no way she could be pregnant. Secondly how would she explain it to Rue if she was pregnant? All in all it was a good thing that she wasn't pregnant, but still it was bittersweet because admittedly the thought of being able to be pregnant had been a pleasant one. The thought of her and Rue being able to at least consider a future where she could give birth was one she liked. She looked back up, staring into her own eyes.

Well, until a few hours ago that had been a possible future. Now, well, she didn't feel so certain anymore. After seeing Rue with Liara an ominous feeling had been setting root in her chest. She could still hear Rue's cold voice telling her she had been wrong about her all the time. It had felt like a stab in the back, being brushed aside so easily. They hadn't spoken since. She had headed straight for her office as soon as she had returned to the Normandy and Rue had disappeared into her cabin.

It felt odd not sleeping next to Rue. Rue had been the one who had made her feel safe after the incident at Earth and now she was once again sleeping alone, fighting the ghosts and eerie whispers on her own. She felt anger at the commander when she thought about it. How could she just leave her like this? She hadn't even tried to come to talk to her or see what she had to say.

Miranda shook her head sighing. She knew it wasn't Rue's fault, but at the same time she wished Rue would just trust her. She sat down on the bed staring at her hands. She loved Rue, more than anything. The commander made her feel like everyone else, made her feel normal. Rue drove her wild in so many ways, the things they had done the past couple of months was unlike her -this total loss of control was nothing like her. She snorted softly at the thought of the short, stolen moments they'd had together. On the Citadel pretending to be a married couple, on the Normandy sneaking away for a romantic moment or when Rue made her eat in the bed for the first time, spilling both crumbles and coffee in it, making a mess just to realize it was a mess that could be easily fixed. All these things made her feel..._alive_.

She looked up at the photo next to her bed. Rue was kissing her cheek and she was pulling a smug face. Being part of their relationship was the best thing she had ever been part of and for a moment she had believed it would be the two of them until whatever outcome the Suicide Mission would have. But she'd seen the way Rue looked at Liara and it broke her heart. It was a feeling unlike anything else. She had tried to convince herself that she had read in too much into the situation, but she was smarter than that and as much as she loved Rue she wasn't going to lie to herself about it.

She inhaled, her breath shaking, her lip starting to quiver. She felt small and vulnerable. How could she compete with the woman Rue had loved before her? Jacob had been right. She was the temporary fix. She crawled into the bed and hid under her covers, tears staining her pillows.

~o~

Rue stared out at the crew that had gathered in the com room. It had seemed unlikely when she had first read their files that they would become the team they were, but where she stood she had to admit that the Illusive Man had been very good at picking the different individuals that would make up the team. In the beginning the crew members had barely interacted with each other, but now they stood close talking about this and that when she entered the room. Everyone save Miranda.

The informant stood aside from the rest of the group working on her datapad. It was probably one of those reports she usually worked on, keeping the Illusive Man updated. Or it could be going through the reports on Normandy's upgrades. She was about to walk up to Miranda and ask her what she was working on before she caught herself. They hadn't spoken since yesterday, now was not the time.

"Ok, listen up. We have one more mission here before we leave," she said looking around the room. The squad members looked up, falling silent as she paced around the interactive map of Nos Astra.

"We are going to help Liara T'Soni find the Shadow Broker."

"The Shadow Broker?" Garrus asked sounding surprised. "That guy is like a ghost."

"True, Commander. I don't think anyone knows who he even is, let alone know where we could find him." Jacob agreed.

"Well, that used to be true, but it seems your employer have some intel that could help her. I'm bringing a small group this time, just Jack, Garrus and Samara. Any questions?" She eyed the crew before giving them a nod. "Ok, go suit up and be back in twenty."

She watched the crew members starting to spill out of the door behind her through the corner of her eyes as she turned the interactive map of Nos Astra around, marking it with flags, preparing the tactical instruction.

"I'd like to talk to you Miss Lawson," she said, still working on the map as Miranda passed her. She could hear the informant stop and she looked up meeting Miranda's gaze for the first time since they had fought the other day. She waited until the last team member had left the room and the doors had closed.

"I need to know, Ri. Why you couldn't tell me Liara was the one who brought my body to you."

Miranda stared back at her indifferently. "It wasn't my decision, Rue." The informant look tired where she stood and now that Rue could see her a little closer she could see her eyes were slightly swollen, dark circles starting to shine through the delicate skin around the eyes.

"Then whose was it?" Why couldn't Miranda just tell her? She felt annoyance stir to life. "Why are you being so secretive about this? It's _me_, Ri." She pointed at herself with her hand. "I thought we were more than this. I thought I could trust you, but this...this has got me wondering if I was wrong about you all the time."

Miranda was hugging her datapad staring at the wall. She sighed angrily in frustration.

"Is any of this real? Or were you just pretending this whole time? Just hoping I'd never find out about Liara."

"Don't you dare!" Miranda snapped looking up at her. "Don't you dare say I tricked you in to being whatever we were. I understand that you are angry with me, but I'm not going to stand here and take this. Not for a promise I made. One you should ask Liara about." Miranda's eyes flashed with anger though her voice trembled as she spoke. "And just so that we're clear –I wasn't the one making out with my ex."

"That's not-" she started, but was silenced by the informant's voice.

"I take it you need to figure things out -that much is clear to me- so go figure them out." Miranda paused, taking a deep breath before speaking once more. "You know, there are so many things I love about you, but you know what? I love and respect myself too much to beg."

_You're such an asshole_, _Rue._ She chided herself as she realized how selfish she was being. She had been so busy with her own feelings that she hadn't even begin to consider Miranda's. The informant blinked, giving her one last nod then she turned and left through the thick doors. She contemplated going after her, but despite feeling bad she knew Miranda was right. She did have to figure this thing out.

~o~

23.58. She stared at the blue digits on the simple watch standing on her desk. Rue still hadn't returned after her mission helping Liara. Miranda frowned. She knew the mission had been successful. The team had acquired the hostage -the drell- Feron, and they had taken down the Shadow Broker in the process. She wondered what would happen to all the Shadow Broker's recourses and agents now that he was gone. Something Garrus had said made her think that perhaps the Shadow Broker wasn't completely gone. Either way the team had returned well and mostly unharmed. Garrus had taken quite the beating from a concrete pillar and Jack had been thrown into a wall knocked unconscious, but the doctor was keeping an eye on both of them for now. Apparently it had all been quite the drama with a rogue police, an explosion in the middle of Nos Astra and a shuttle chase.

When she had asked Samara –as casually as she could- about the commander the justicar had said it seemed like Liara and Shepard things they needed to discuss.

That was eight hours ago and Rue still hadn't returned. How much time could they possibly need to _discuss _things? Unless they did more than just discuss things... she sobered up at the thought. The thought of Rue with Liara was an unpleasant one and she shook her head as if to shake off the mental image that had popped into her head.

"Stop it," she muttered. It was none of her business anyway. She returned her attention to the screen in front of her, her fingers tapping the top of her desk restlessly. Why hadn't Rue returned? Maybe she shouldn't have urged her to try and figure things out? Maybe she should have pointed out that "figuring things" out didn't mean _trying _them out.

She snorted at her naiveness. She knew how these things worked. She might not be experienced when it came to loving someone, but that did not mean she was not experienced in other areas. A little bit of flirting, maybe a drink, a small smile here and there, a simple touch, it all ended the same way. It was so easy to fall into that trap. _Besides, if she really loved you she wouldn't need time to think about it. _Or maybe the commander was simply trying to figure out which of the women she loved more?

She heard a familiar clicking sound and she lifted her head to face the door, clasping her hands calmly in front of her on the desk. The doors slid open and the doctor stepped into her office.

"I saw your door was still open," Karin said as she approached the desk.

"Yes, I have quite the workload right now. What can I do for you, doctor?"

The doctor sat down in the chair in front of her chair, a grim expression on her face.

"We need to talk, Miranda."

~o ~

"Wow, this is a pretty sweet gig you got going here," Rue whistled as she walked down the stairs in the spacious apartment.

"This little shack?" The asari said innocently, a coy smile working its way on to her lips.

Rue snorted. "That shower is bigger than my whole cabin."

Liara laughed, watching her descend. It had been another crazy day in the life of Rue Shepard. Sometimes she wondered if her life was bad action movie. They had successfully rescued Liara's friend _and _taken down the Shadow Broker and installed Liara as the new Broker. His agents and sources had never seen him anyway, why not use it to their advantage?

Feron had needed proper hospital care so they had taken him back to Illium leaving the Shadow Broker's old ship behind for now. It was well hidden where it orbited through the Hagalaz and Liara had already arranged for her return. Upon their arrival to Nos Astra the asari had mentioned a drink at her apartment, maybe two, would Rue like that?

Rue flatted the soft hoodie as she stepped on to the wooden floor. "I see you kept some of my old clothes."

"I found them in the bag that I had left at my old place when we stopped in. Before the Collectors hit," Liara said and walked into the kitchen opening the stylish fridge.

"Ah," she replied, watching Liara pour the drinks in to two glasses.

"So, Commander," Liara said seductively handing her the glass. "What do we toast to?"

Rue could feel the faint but distinctive scent of her former lover before the asari withdrew leaving her chest tingling. Liara was teasing her. _And it works too_.

"How about new beginnings?" She suggested.

"To new beginnings it is," Liara nodded, raising her glass into the air. Rue lifted hers as well, letting the edge of the glass gently touch the asari's.

The drink was sweet and she quickly finished it partly by nerves partly by thirst.

"So, how's your friend?" She asked casually.

"Feron?" Liara let the tall glass rest between her hands.

"Yeah. He was pretty banged up."

"He's doing well. Probably enjoying some well deserved downtime."

"Yeah." She chuckled into her glass.

"Two years, Rue. I can't imagine how much he must have suffered," Liara said remorsefully. "And it was all my fault."

"Don't blame yourself, you did everything you could and Feron will be fine, just give him time."

"I did everything I could, pulled every string, left no stone unturned, but I wouldn't blame him if he could never forgive me."

"He already has, Liara." Rue reassured her. "Besides, do you really think he would have asked to stay on as the new Shadow Broker's agent if he hadn't?" She pointed out to the asari.

"I suppose not," Liara said thoughtfully, thumb stroking the edge of the glass absentmindedly.

"So, uh..." She cleared her throat awkwardly. "I take it the two of you are...close?"

Liara's face took on an amused expression as her eyebrow quirked upwards. "Are you jealous?"

"Huh?" Rue barely managed to whisper as Liara stepped closer studying her through lidded eyes.

"Funny," Liara murmured. "I thought you were more interested in spending time with Miss Lawson in her jumpsuit. Or...should I say out of her jumpsuit?"

"Ah," she said glancing sideways bashfully, scratching the nape of her neck.

"Ah." Liara echoed her as she picked up the glass she had set down on the kitchen counter next to them. Lifting it to her lips the asari gave her a knowing look.

"Do I even want to know how you know about this?"

"Probably not," Liara shrugged. "However the question remains..." She paused.

Why was she pausing? Liara held her gaze, sucking in the corner of her bottom lip into her mouth. Rue stared at her, eyes transfixed on the blue, deliciously captivating lips. After the mission they had shared another kiss, both still running on adrenaline, high from the success of the mission. The kiss had been devastatingly enticing. The mere thought of another one sent a pleasant shiver down her spine and she welcomed the asari's hand that grabbed the top of her hoodie pulling her closer.

"What. Now?" Liara whispered hotly, her lips brushing against Rue's before she pulled Rue in. Blue, sweet, lips locking with hers in a desperate kiss begging Rue for more. She happily complied grabbing Liara's waist with her hands hoisting her up to sit on the counter as their lips battled for domination.

"I love you," the asari murmured huskily through the kisses, sucking and nipping at her lip.

"I..." She panted, working on the buttons of the new outfit Liara wore. _Say it_. "I..." She blinked and stared at her fingers that closed around the zipper's slider. _There are so many things I love about you_. Miranda's voice echoed in her head. She closed her eyes and let the slider go. Slowly taking a step away from Liara.

"I'm sorry, I can't," she whispered quietly.

~o~

"Miranda?" Jacob turned around as she stepped into his quarters. "What are you doing here?" He asked in surprise.

She smiled and walked up to the work bench he was working at and leant against it. "I just wanted to check in on you. We haven't really had time to talk lately."

"Err..." He gave her a suspicious look.

"Ok." She took a deep breath. "I wanted to apologise about before. When I snapped at you. I know you were only looking out for me."

"I was." Jacob agreed and put the weapon he'd been working on down. "Is this about Shepard?"

She swallowed and looked away. He had been right and he had tried to warn her, but she hadn't wanted to listen to him. She was too mesmerized by Rue wanting whatever it was they had to be the real thing. Now it seemed it had been nothing.

"I should have told her about Liara," she sighed.

"You did what you thought was right. You kept your promise, but sometimes doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the good thing."

She huffed and shook her head smiling. "I never knew you were...so insightful."

"Heh." He chuckled. "I'm just not..."

"A man of many words?" She smiled.

"Yeah. Exactly." He smiled back at her.

She studied him for a while. He was handsome with gentle features, a well-trained body, broad shoulders and he was polite too. The perfect gentleman. She looked away when he noticed her watching him.

"She hasn't come home," she said.

"Oh boy," he sighed as he sat down in one of his chairs. "You're thinking the worst, but maybe you should give Shepard the benefit of the doubt?"

"Maybe."

"Look, you are the director of the Lazarus project, but Shepard, she _is _the Lazarus project. Imagine waking up to a world two years after being dead with everything and everyone pretty much changed. That has got to be a lot do deal with. Especially running into an old lover. Just give her a little time." Jacob reasoned with her.

"Hm." She smiled and leant forward giving him a peck on the forehead.

"What was that for?" He asked amused.

"You're a good man, Jacob."

The man chuckled. "Ok, what do you want?"

She laughed. "I'm serious! You're a good friend. One of the few people I trust."

"And you are _amazing_. Shepard would be crazy to let you go. I see the way she looks at you, Miranda. I really don't think need to worry."

"Yeah...about that...I need to ask you a favour."

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

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**A/N: **Thank you to all of you wonderful people who reviewed the last chapter. You made my Christmas and helped me get this next chapter going. Also a big thank you to anyone who's read, faved and subscribed to this story. :)

Hope you enjoyed this chapter as well. We are nearing the end and things are getting interesting. To quote a well-known actor: Oh my...

Hope you all had a great holiday and a really good New Year!

~Elmjuniper


	22. The Decision

_The first time I saw Rue look at me after looking at her I knew I had lost her, but I also knew that if she found out about you she would go to any lengths to stay with me. And as much as I love Rue I won't let her stay out of duty when her heart belongs to someone else. I did what I had to, to make sure she followed her heart. And even if every part of me is breaking, even if it feels like my heart will never stop aching, it was worth every moment. _

**THE DECISION  
**

THE ASARI LEANT FORWARD GRABBING Rue's hand pulling her back in, letting her lips nibble at Rue's neck. She shuddered at the feeling of Liara's lips against her skin and she gave in once more. She grabbed at Liara's hips pressing herself against the asari. Liara captured her lips again, drawing her in, her senses merging with the asari's. She recognized the familiar feeling as their minds joined becoming one and she was no longer able to tell herself from Liara. The emotion rose like flames from a fire its heat divulging them. Love in its purest form rushed through her intensifying with each heartbeat, passion following shortly after, raw and hungry and the smell of sweat and coconut enveloped her senses. Milky, pale skin as soft as silk underneath her hands, icy blue eyes framed by charcoal black hair locking with hers, never once blinking as they lost track of time and space.

She gasped in shock at the electric jolt sent through her body as their connection broke and she stumbled backwards blinking in confusion. That had never happened before. Looking up at Liara where she sat on the counter she realized what was wrong.

"Miranda," Liara said in disbelief, a hurt look upon her face. "You were in the meld thinking of _Miranda_."

She opened her mouth to speak, but found no good excuse so she remained silent as she watched Liara pull her clothes closer.

"I didn't…" Didn't what? Mean to? She sighed.

"I don't smell like coconut, Rue, and last time I checked I didn't have black long hair."

"I'm sorry," was all she could think to say. This was a _mess_. A mess she needed to sort out once and for all. Too many were getting hurt in the process

"It's funny," the asari said as she slid off the counter. "I cried so many nights for you, for so long, it felt like I had no more tears to cry and still they kept coming."

Buttoning up her fatigues Rue watched the asari walk in to the large living room.

"I don't know what happened," she tried to explain.

Liara let out a soft huff. "Isn't it obvious?" She chuckled miserably. "I thought by bringing you back I could…I don't know, _we _could be together again. I went to so many dark places to get you. I discovered sides of myself that you would never have even dreamed of." Liara turned around to face her, tears streaming down her face. "And I did it all for us. Not for the galaxy, not for the Alliance and most certainly not for Miss Lawson."

Rue watched the asari, her heart breaking at the sight of her tears. She wanted to comfort her, to tell her she was sorry, that everything would be ok, but could she really promise that? All the pain and suffering Liara had gone through, Rue just wanted it to end, but what about Miranda? She loved her so much. Could she just walk away from the informant?

"I went to hell and back and I would do it again, but it…" Liara's voice broke and she had to collect herself before speaking again. "It breaks my heart to see her with you. It breaks my heart to lose you again." She cried.

"Liara," Rue whispered taking a step forward, pulling the asari into her arms, holding her tight. It was too much for her to bear, to watch the asari so vulnerable, so fragile. Over two years of grief pouring out of her. Liara had given up her dreams for her. She had become this cold, manipulating and scheming information broker all because of Rue. She owed the asari more than this. "I love you, I always have, I just…"

"You love Miranda too," Liara said. "I see the way you look at her, Rue. Yesterday, you weren't mad at Miranda because you didn't love her. Quite the contrary. That is exactly why you were so angry. Someone you love and trusted betrayed you."

She let go of the asari. "I care about, Miranda." She confessed quietly. "But I don't know if I can trust her again."

Liara smiled sadly. "Miss Lawson is many things. She is cold and heartless, everything is a challenge to her and she would stop anyone who got in her way. I have seen it with my own eyes."

"Liara," Rue said sternly, strongly disliking the tone the asari used when she spoke of Miranda.

"She may be all of that." Liara ignored her berating tone. "But if it's one thing she isn't it's a liar. She didn't lie to you, Rue. It wasn't her choice not to tell you about me."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Rue frowned.

"I made her promise me not to tell you." Liara turned around to stare out the panoramic windows. It had started raining and the raindrops clattered hard against the windows before silently rolling down the length of them mimicking the asari's tears perfectly.

"What? Why?" Rue asked in disbelief.

"Because I thought you'd be angry with me. After all our dealings with Cerberus when trying to defeat Saren I knew how you felt about them. What I was going to let them do to you was…wrong. Waking you up was for my own selfish reasons because I couldn't let you go…"

"You gave me a second chance at life, Liara. How many people get that chance? I owe you _everything_." She said her face breaking into a smile. "How could you think I would be angry with you? You were the first thing I thought of when I woke up, all I wanted was to see you again."

"Then why didn't you come?" Liara asked angrily.

"Because…"

"Because _Miranda _told not to, didn't she?" Liara said begrudgingly.

"No…" _Oh my God, I'm such an idiot. _"She asked me why I hadn't." She looked up at Liara. It hadn't been Miranda's fault. "You said you had moved on, your file…"

She could see the colour wash off the asari's face. "Said I was taken..." Liara's shoulders slouched forward. "I meant by _you_."

"So Miranda hadn't made that up to keep me from you?"

"No, Rue, I made it up so that I wouldn't be courted anymore."

"Augh," she sighed covering her face with her hands. "This is all so messed up, Liara."

Liara laughed. At first it was more of a low chortling, then she opened her mouth laughing heartily or maybe hysterically, Rue really couldn't tell.

"It's not funny! Why-? What is so-? Why are you laughing?!" Rue threw her arms out in frustration.

"Because," Liara said placing her hands on Rue's shoulders. "You are the _only _one who can save the galaxy, but can't get her love life working."

"Well, I'm glad you're entertained," she huffed trying to stifle the oncoming laughter. Liara did make a fair point. Laughing she looked at the asari. This -she had missed this. This new Liara she had seen lacked this side. Of course she had been forced to put this side of her aside in order to get Rue back. She felt a pang of guilt knowing her death had played a major part in the asari's change. Maybe if she was around she could bring the old Liara back? Maybe she owed that to Liara? Liara had brought her back, maybe it was her time to return the favour?

"I've missed seeing you like this," she said causing the asari to stop laughing.

"Don't. Please, if you don't know who you want, don't lead me on. Don't give me hope again if you're just going...to leave again," Liara said gravely.

She knew who she wanted, but she also knew who she needed to be there for. She had met Liara before she had met Miranda and she owed it to Liara to give them another try even if that meant leaving Miranda behind. Even if it meant hurting the informant. _If I give this one more try..._She thought quietly to herself. One more try and no one could tell her she hadn't given them a fair chance. It was the right thing to do. Miranda would understand. It had nothing to do with her love for Miranda, but only with her loyalty to the asari. They had bonded once. She wanted Liara to be happy. She knew she could make Liara happy.

Her thoughts brushed at the informant again. What about her own happiness? Would she be happy with Liara? Did she love Liara like she had before? Like a lover. Or did she love her like a friend who meant the world to her? In the meld she had been with Miranda.

"You don't have to answer me know. I know things are complicated for you right now. Why don't you come back soon? Maybe after this thing you're doing?" Liara gave her one last hug.

"I'll come back soon, I promise," she said sincerely.

Liara smiled though her eyes shone with anguish. "Don't make promises you can't keep, Commander."

~o~

She took the first taxi she could hail back to the taxi area near the docking bay. It wasn't a long walk from there to the Normandy, but she walked slowly contemplating the night's event in her head. Being with Liara again was wonderful. It reminded her of the old days before all of this. Being near her reminded her of the evenings they had spent around the table in the mess playing cards with Ashley and Kaiden, Wrex losing all his credits. She smiled at the memories. Those were some good days, she mused as she walked up towards the new Normandy.

Dawn was breaking and the first light was carefully creeping out across the horizon, scuttling cautiously across the Normandy's shining hull. _So shiny_. She thought to herself. The wrong colours but still shiny. She took a deep breath revelling in the quietness of the early hours and the beauty of the new Normandy. New Normandy, new people and of course the informant was one of them. She picked up her pace. She needed to talk to Miranda. To apologise. She had been an arse. She loved Liara no doubt and the asari always would have a very special place in her heart. There would always be a connection between them, but Miranda... the closer she got to the Normandy the more intense the feeling became and suddenly she realized how much she had missed the informant.

She stepped into the ship and hurried down the bridge.

"Hey, Captain," Joker said gloomily. She could hear Garrus hum and she gave the helmsman a gentle pat on his shoulder.

"Gar beat you again?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Joker said sourly.

She chuckled. "Ok, well I've got something I need to do, catch you later?"

"Yeah," Joker scowled. "Later."

~o~

Garrus flipped the weapons mod in his hand as he walked off the bridge having thoroughly beaten Joker's ass in their latest punchline contest. Not a small feat. For a little guy the helmsman had an awfully big and quick mouth coupled with his sarcastic sense of humour Joker was not an easy guy to beat. _Something to tell, Tali_. He thought as he rounded the Galaxy map. It was late, or early in the morning, depending on one's perspective. _Tomorrow, I'll tell her tomorrow. _

"Hey, birdman! What's that stupid grin for?"

He turned around to see Rue walk down the bridge behind him.

"What? Nothing." He said defensively. He'd been thinking of Tali, why would that make him grin? Why was he thinking of Tali anyway? Hadn't he just won the macho contest of the macho contest? He should be out celebrating with..._Yeah_... Tali had been on his mind an awful lot the latest couple of weeks. But then again he hadn't seen her since she had left the Normandy to go back to the flotilla of course he was bound to think about her little extra. They were really good friends after all. _Friends..._

"Nothing, huh? That why you humming?" Rue teased as she pulled up next to him.

He could feel his mandibles twitch. "Why are we talking about me, Skipper when _your _life is so much more interesting?"

She scowled and him and he grinned in satisfaction. That got her alright.

"Isn't this quite the late hour to be sneaking in for a young lady such as yourself?"

"Oh, shut up, Gar. It's not what you think." She muttered.

"Oh? And what am I thinking, Skipper?" He pushed.

"I'm not even go there, birdie," Rue said as they pulled to a stop in front of the lift. He chuckled. The commander had been gone for a very long time since they had finished the mission and by her new positive attitude he did wonder what had happened between the two former lovers.

"You know what I think?" He asked leaning forward.

"Mm-mm." Rue shook her head in her "Don't want to hear it" manner.

"I think you and the doctor-"

An ungracious rustling sounded behind them and they turned around. The Cerberus informant stumbled out from Jacob's room, her hair dishevelled, wearing only a too large white shirt barely buttoned halfway up, her regular jumpsuit rolled up under her arm. She stopped the second she saw them, her mouth dropping in horror.

"I just remembered..." Garrus desperately racked his brain for an excuse to leave. "I forgot to do my special victory dance. I need to go back and finish it." He looked form the informant to his friend the atmosphere so tense he thought he'd have to cut his way through it to get to the bridge.

"Good talk...I'll uuh...See you."

~o~

"That's an interesting look," The commander said sternly where she stood next to Miranda staring up at the ceiling of the lift. Miranda buttoned the shirt not speaking.

"So, what, you and Jacob? Just like that?" There was resentment in the commander's voice. She swallowed ignoring the nervous sweat breaking out in her palms.

"That's a little rich coming from you," she said dismissively.

"This is bullshit, Miranda," Rue snapped angrily.

"Oh really? Because last time I checked, you thought this was perfectly normal? In fact, _Rue_, isn't this the exact behaviour of a secretary?" She spat venomously.

The commander opened her mouth to speak, but shut it again. Miranda felt resolve falter and she had to look away to keep the tears from falling.

"Ri," Rue sighed. "I came here to talk you."

She blinked away the stubborn tears, she refused to cry more. "At this hour? Hm? So that's it? You shag your little blue alien and then come running to me? Why? She not enough for you?" She raised her voice, hating herself for every word that came out of her mouth.

"Stop it!" Rue shouted. "What's gotten in to you?"

"I slept with Jacob!" Miranda shouted back. "Ok?!"

Rue looked as if she had just slapped her in the face. Then again she might as well have. The lift doors opened and she left the commander standing, still dumbstruck by her revelation. She ran as fast as she could, fleeing towards the confined space of her office. Once there she slammed the locks before leaning her back against the cold metal. She clutched at her chest with one hand, the other hand muffling her sobs as she slid down to the floor. The woman she loved was going to hate her, but this was how it had to be. For the good of the galaxy, for all their sake this was the only solution. Now that she remembered what had happened back on Earth and Doctor Chakwas had gotten the results back Miranda knew that she had to let Rue go.

~o~

"Are you sure about this?" Liara asked her.

"I am sure," she smiled. "Me and Miranda we...uh...We just wouldn't work out." Rue said as she ruffled through the papers on her desk. She hadn't spoken to the informant since their confrontation in the lift a few days earlier. They kept it professional amongst the others, but never once spoke in private anymore. They rarely spoke to each other during debriefs either, there wasn't really any need for it, besides what was she supposed to say? That she was partly to blame for how things ended? That she was gutted? That losing Miranda hurt more than she could have ever imagined. Her fingers graced something thick and she saw the photo they had taken in the bar one night. She clenched her jaws shoving it under a pile of papers.

"Ah, here it is," she said holding up an old magazine. She handed it over to Liara who looked a little perplexed.

"Err...Thank you. This is a wonderful gift. I'm so glad I scoured half a planet to get you your dog tags..."

Rue laughed. "Open it."

Liara did as she was told. The picture of a young asari smiling awkwardly into the camera looked up at them from the spread. "By the Goddess! How did you find this?"

Rue shrugged. "I found it at the Citadel in some shop selling old vintage stuff. I recognized her face and I thought of you. Figured you might like it."

Liara smiled. "My mother, just the way I remember her. She used to tell me about this magazine she was once in. Thank you, Rue." Liara placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

Rue smiled and returned the kiss as she wrapped her arms around the asari's waist. "Are you sure you have to leave so soon?"

"I wish I didn't...trust me," Liara murmured into her kisses.

"Ok, but Tali wanted to say hi." She said walking with Liara towards the lift.

"Are you going to tell her?" Liara asked as the lift arrived.

"Yeah, I owe her that at least."

"Good luck, I'll wait for you in the mess once I've talk to Tali," Liara said giving her a quick kiss before she exited the lift.

Taking a deep sigh she walked up to the informant's office, clearing her throat before stepping inside.

Miranda sat behind her large desk seemingly lost in thought.

"Can we talk?" Rue asked politely.

"Oh," the informant said sounding surprised. "Of course," she stood up as she shut off the pad she'd been holding in her hand and put it down on the desk. "Do you want sit?" Miranda motioned for the chair. She shook her head, both of them remaining standing.

"I know things have been..." She paused slightly. "Weird lately." She looked at Miranda for any signs of remorse or anything, but the informant remained indifferent where she stood.

"I know I was a great part in how things turned out. I certainly didn't handle it well," Rue said earnestly. "And you were the bigger person in allowing me to figure things out, but..." She let her eyes lock with Miranda's. "I can't...you slept with Jacob. I know I'm in no position to judge, but I can't just act like it never happened. I can't forgive you, Miranda."

It hurt to speak the words she had rehearsed in her head. It had sounded so much better in her head than what it did now. Now the words sounded weak. She watched Miranda. The informant's face remained undaunted, but she could see Miranda's eyes grow increasingly damp.

"I'm sorry." She didn't know what else to say. What did one say during a breakup anyway?

"Don't worry, Shepard, I...Understand." Miranda's gaze shifted and she took a deep breath. "You should go, she's waiting..." The informant's voice broke then and she lifted her hand towards her mouth.

_Please don't cry. _She hated the sight of Miranda crying and she took a step forward in an attempt to console her, but Miranda withdrew quickly waving her hands dismissively at her.

"No, don't...mind me. I'm fine, I just...I'm just tired." The informant's voice trembled when she spoke.

"Are you sure?" Rue asked. Miranda was lying. She knew the informant wasn't just tired.

Miranda nodded once, clearing her throat. "I'll see you around, Commander. I... hope the two of you find happiness."

Rue sighed. This wasn't how she had envisioned things. Parts of her had foolishly envisioned something far more romantic involving a white dress and little biotic children. Looking at Miranda where she sat she berated herself for letting things get to this point. They had had such a great shot at greatness, but it had just slipped right through her fingers. She gave the informant one last nod before turning to leave.

She heard the all too familiar sound of Miranda's doors closing as she walked up towards the asari. Liara wrapped her arms around her waist.

"You ok?"

"Yeah," she replied pulling Liara into her arms. "Come on, let's get you back to your new ship."

She kept her arm around Liara's neck as they moved towards the lift. No more secrets, no more surprises around the corner. Now all she had to do was to take out the Collectors then she was going to go on a _long _vacation. She had died and been brought back to life, surely the big guy in the sky couldn't have more curveballs to throw her way.

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**THE END**

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**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. All characters, objects, places, names, items etc that you recognize belong to Bioware and so does my soul. This is just my way of showing the creators how much I love their work.

**A/N: **Ok, so...this is it. The final chapter of this story. I can't believe it's finally here. It's been a long journey here over the course of 3 years. My God I'm slow! Haha!

Now I know you guys have opinions on this last bit. Happy, sad, angry, did Rue pick the right person? And before you ask, yes, the sequel is in the works. Where we will find out, well, basically what happens next really. Is Rue and Miranda really over? What will Miranda do after the Suicide Mission? Why did Miranda sleep with Jacob?! What was the favour she wanted from him? And now that we all know she's pregnant how will that all end? And Miranda's father and Dr. Grenway what are they up to? So many questions left to ponder.

The sequel will be posted this weekend so keep your peepers pealed. ;)

Before I let you all go there is something I have to say:

**THANK YOU all SO much for sticking with me and supporting me throughout this story!** You have all been WONDERFUL and amazing with all your feedback, subscriptions, faves, reviews. This could not have been done without you guys. And to those of you who supported me when a crazy person started trolling this story it meant a lot and I am so grateful that you stood up for me. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Elm


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